Authors: Barbara Peters
It was certainly an amusing sight to behold as they startled and looked at me like a deer in caught in the headlights. I cleared my throat and turned to stiffly walk out of the room. When I was closing the door I could hear them erupt into laughter and I couldn’t help but laugh with them. That had never happened before
to either one of us.
I was gradually starting to push Ethan out of my mind, at least during the day. At night I still dreamed about him vividly. It felt as if he was right there next to me and when I woke up he was gone again. I had to keep a box of tissues on my nightstand at all times to quench the waterworks that erupted after such dreams.
I had mood swings left and right and was often confused with my body’s reaction to certain things. Puppies and babies made me cry because somehow they reminded
me of Ethan (don’t ask me how). Just about anything reminded me of him now.
While just about any motion that was too abrupt made me want to puke my guts out and I followed that feeling more often than not. Poor Jess could attest to that. Some of her clothes she had to throw away because the stains wouldn’t come out anymore.
In the fourth month of my pregnancy I was finally, blissfully free of all the morning sickness. I
had
wondered every
day
since it started why it was even called ‘morning’ sickness when it was obvious to me that it was more ‘around the clock’ sickness.
I had started to show a little when the third month hit and now the bump on my stomach couldn’t be overlooked anymore. With Jess’ lose shirts I tried to hide it as best as I could and now people just thought I got fat, which wasn’t much better, but still.
At the next doctor’s appointment I found out that this wasn’t really normal. Usually, your belly only started to grow when you hit your fifth month.
It caused concern for all of us, so the doctor ordered an ultrasound examination.
Jess and Trevor held my hands all throughout the procedure. They had become a couple over the last month and supported me with everything as best as they could.
They were as shocked as me when it became apparent through the pictures that I was carrying twins. And they needed a little more space than only one child would.
At first I was too shocked to react, but then tears of joy rolled down my cheeks and my two friends hugged me tightly.
I wished I could share all this with the Ethan I had known when I conceived. But he was long gone, probably fled for the hills.
I never really believed Jess’ reassurances
anyway
, but it still hurt that he wasn’t here with me. And thanks to that my tears were now ones of utter misery.
“It’s going to be okay. Those babies will experience more love than all of us together ever have in our lives. They’ll have it good, Rachel,” Jess assured me soothingly.
I knew she was telling the truth. She would always be there for me and the babies. I never doubted that. And it soothed my tears immensely to know I could always count on her if no one else.
After the doctor’s appointment we went for coffee and cake together. I had started craving sweets like crazy over the last week and although I couldn’t really drink caffeinated drinks I still enjoyed my cake with hot chocolate. Trevor and Jess drank regular coffee and I listened to their conversation interested.
When we got home after that we found a letter in our mail box addressed to me and Jess from Rowe Reconstruction, Inc. My heart skipped a beat as I saw the name on the envelope. I hadn’t heard anything from him since the day he showed up at Jess’ aunt’s place.
As Jess read the letter out loud for me I couldn’t believe my ears. It invited us back to our old apartment and stated that the redevelopment project had been dismissed and replaced by plans of renovating the old buildings in our old district.
We both were happy that they weren’t going to tear all the old and beautiful buildings down and even more so that all the people got to have their apartments back.
What elated me even more than anything else was the prospect of Ethan having a hand in this change of
plans.
I didn’t know if it was really his doing, but now I at least knew he hadn’t been the one to issue the project in the first place. Or did that really prove anything?
I frowned. The reconstruction company had changed paths months after he had come to auntie’s house, but that didn’t prove he hadn’t been behind it from the start. He could have just as easily changed the plans.
It didn’t matter, though. All that mattered was that the people had their homes back provided they even found out where everyone had gone.
Now we were in a little predicament, though, since we already lived with Trevor. What were supposed to do now? He had become like another best friend for me over the time we had stayed with him and Jess was even more attached to him.
We discussed it for a while and decided we would stay here, but take a look at the apartment building we had lived in. We wanted to make sure that this wasn’t some sick joke they were making on our behalf.
So the next day Trevor accompanied us to our old place.
“Wow, this place actually looks more inviting than ours does,” he commented. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to move all of us here?”
“That’s actually not stupid,” I said.
“This apartment is much more beautiful, if a little smaller, but you could share a room, if you like.”
“Why, thank you. I try very hard to leave my stupid me at home.” He struck a pose and stuck his tongue
out
at me and I laughed at his sarcasm and humor.
“Love you, too.”
He hu
gged me in response.
“You, too,
baby girl.”
I realized I had completely forgotten to move any of my stuff out, except for my clothes. They were still in one of Ethan’s guest rooms.
We decided then and there to move back in with Trevor in tow this time. All of us were pretty excited to get our home of two years back. In Trevor’s case he was looking forward to stop wandering from one room to another like a nomad.
Right now he had to go repeatedly from one room to the other for the smallest things. A CD he wanted to show Jess, clothes,
anything that wasn’t in the room he was currently staying. Of course, when they were staying in his room he was still the one to get things Jess wanted and needed.
We immediately started packing all our things together and the next day they were driven over to our old/new apartment in portions. Jess and I had a lot more things now than when we had first moved in t
ogether with Trevor.
The baby things were the ones taking up the most space. To that came our clothes and other valuable things
and, of course, Trevor’s stuff.
Consequently, it took us
three and a half times with our two cars to get all of our stuff to the apartment.
When we were finished all the boxes took up so much space in our little apartment we had to maneuver around it. With my growing belly I had a few more problems than the two stick figures that were Jess and Trevor.
They found it pretty amusing that I had to wriggle through the narrow paths that were left in between the boxes. But no matter how funny they found it they hurried to put all the things away to make room.
For the time being we put the baby things in the living room, where we had a little more space to stash it. When the baby came we would most of it into my room, especially the crib and clothes we still needed to buy.
This reminded me that we had to buy another crib for the second baby and generally a second set of everything else. This would probably bust my budget, but Trevor and Jess had promised to loan me everything I needed for now. I didn’t want to take it as a gift, but would pay it back
later.
I sighed. There was still so much to do until the twins came. But no matter what I was excited to finally hold them in my arms and gaze into their beautiful eyes. I knew they were going to be beautiful. They had their father’s genes.
At that thought another pang hit my chest and I sucked in a quick breath. I was not going to cry again. I could do this. I could manage being a single mother. Well, you couldn’t really call me single in that sense since I was never alone. I always had my two perfect best friends. I smiled at that.
My head was just buried in the depths of my closet when someone knocked at the front door. I could hear Jess calling to Trevor to get it.
There was a muffled conversation between Trevor and whoever was at the door. Then he called for Jess.
I frowned. Did she expect someone? I shook my head, ignoring it and continued to sort my clothes to make room for other things to stuff in.
“Hey, Rachel,” Jess called. “You have to come see this.”
I could detect a smile a in her voice. Curious I tried to extricate my head from my closet and in my luck my hair got tangled in the zipper of one of my favorite jackets. I
hissed
at the pain that shot through my skull.
When I was still not free of the zipper a few minutes later Jess came looking for me.
“What are you doing?”
She
couldn’t suppress the grin that split her face in two.
I could see, though
,
that she really hadn’t tried very hard.
I grumbled at her annoyed. “I’m making love to
Jack here. Can’t you see you’re interrupting us?”
My favorite jacket was from Jack & Jones, which was actually a men’s store and pretty expensive, but I loved it there. At least I had before…I pointedly looked at my still expanding belly. The staff and other shoppers had already looked at me a little strangely when I came in and br
owsed around.
That was all I usually did, just looking and maybe a little trying on, but no buying. It had been just that one time were I couldn’t have resisted
,
even if the world had ended that day.
I loved this jacket, even when it was mean to me like right now.
Now
,
when I wanted to spoil myself a little I asked Jess or Trevor to rub my feet for a bit. But I didn’t
go to Jack & Jones anymore since they looked at me even more strangely there than before. They knew I wasn’t there to shop for
my
boyfriend or husband.
At my sarcasm she laughed out loud. “I see the humor still hasn’t left you. Come on,
I’ll
help untangle you.”
“What’s going on out there?” I asked her curiously.
“Oh, I can’t tell you that. You have to see for yourself or you won’t believe it.”
Now I was even more curious, but I couldn’t move away from the jacket until Jess had me untangled entirely. From the stooped position I started to get a bad backache. I sighed in relief when
I
could finally stand straight again.
My back was aching quite enough these days. I didn’t need to add any to it.
When I walked out of the room with Jess on my heels I rubbed my back to relieve the ache. The action made my belly stick out even more. I made my way over to the front door in that position.
When I saw who stood there I froze in my tracks. No
, this couldn’t be happening
. There stood two men, who seemed all too familiar. I swear I was seeing double and I hadn’t even drunk anything.
There were standing two Ethans right in front of me. One had a beard, though and the other was completely clean shaven. One had forest green eyes while the other had dark blue ones. Apart from that they looked totally identical.
I could
only
stand there and gape at them. I knew instantly the one with the beard and green eyes was Ethan. His eyes wandered from my face to my belly
that
I so proudly displayed. His features took on a shocked look as his eyes snapped back up to mine.
I felt like I had to protect my babies from him. I moved my hands from my back to my belly to hide it from his sight. It didn’t help much, but it made me feel a little better.
“And he scores,” the man next to him exclaimed with a laugh and clapped him on the back.
Ethan ignored him and took a
step in my direction. When I backed up a step, wary of his intentions, he stopped and asked, “Can we talk?” His eyes wandered back to my still expanding belly.
I gestured over to the old, tattered couch. I didn’t trust my voice right now. In a daze I sat down with him on the couch and waited for him to say something, anything.
I glanced up and saw Trevor and Jess hovering nearby protectively. I smiled at them, grateful that they were there for me. They took it as a sign that I was fine alone and ushered the man, who I assumed was the brother Ethan had mentioned before, over to the kitchen area. There they offered him something to eat and engaged him in conversation.
My attention moved back to Ethan, who was still staring at my belly. It had been five months since I had seen him the last time face to face. The time at
Jess’ aunt’s house didn’t count since I hadn’t really seen him then, much less talked to him.
He cleared his throat, trying to find the words. “How far along are you?”
“Five months,” I said as I looked down and caressed my belly.
“It’s mine then,” he stated with a little more certainty.
I didn’t say anything at first.
Then, “Why did you come here?”
His gaze snapped up to my eyes at that. As he saw the determined look in my face he must have realized that I wasn’t going to talk about the pregnancy any more for the moment.