Reaching Out to the Stars (23 page)

This quote made me understand that my friend was a diversion. In the time I was waiting for someone else to make my dream come true, I got lost and traveled down a different path. One in which I needed to travel to come to the realization of who I am as a person and where I wanted to be in life. I was so far from whom I really was that I needed to take a step back, get back on track and learn that nobody was going to open doors for me. I needed to do it myself and this particular path pushed me toward reaching that goal and inspired me to take my unfortunate experience and make my dream a reality.

It is important in life to know that in following any dream that there will be diversions, people who set you off track, bumps in the road, a temporary source of happiness that may not be real or delay what is of greater importance. But the key to success is to never give up. Nobody is perfect and we are not supposed to be or we wouldn’t be growing. It’s important to follow your dreams because no matter where they take you, what is meant to be will be. You’ll never know if you never try and then you will always live in wonder and maybe even in regret of passing up an opportunity for happiness.

I believe that in some people’s lives there is more negativity than happiness. If this is true, they need to ask themselves, Am I really living my life or am I just going through the motions? In reality, if you’re not really living, then you’re dying. People should be happy in all aspects of their life. We create our own happiness and if we find ourselves in a place that is unhappy, it is because we chose to be there. Maybe the wake-up call is to make that change.

Some people are terrified of change. More importantly people should try not to fear it but to look it in the face, conquer it, live and grow. It is true that some people don’t know who or where they want to be in life, but sometimes the best start is knowing who and where you don’t want to be. Unfortunately, living in a world of denial, no matter what the circumstances are, is a destined path to never-ending unhappiness, solitude and emptiness.

Sometimes in life it is hard to not let others bring you down, but you can’t. People who try to bring you down are usually not happy in their own lives. They are not strong enough to face truths and take a step toward that most needed change toward happiness. The most you can do is say a prayer that their lives will improve for them and concentrate on what is important in your own. It’s important to be strong and hold yourself in high esteem no matter what anyone thinks or says.

There are dream weavers in life but there is also what we call dream crushers and unfortunately, they can even be the people who seem closest to you.

I thought good and hard about whom I really am as a person and what I wanted out of life because I am the creator of my own happiness. In taking stock of my life, I am lucky to have not only a husband by terms of marriage, but a companion and more importantly, a friend. In reality, I know that it is the strength of our solid foundation that can get us through anything.

If you can’t say that your spouse is your best friend, the one who brings out the best in you, makes you feel important, someone who you look forward to spending time with, then maybe you haven’t found your soul mate.

Someone once told me to make a list of all the things that I want to accomplish before my time is up, to keep life exciting and be a little crazy. Life is too short, and it is. It’s important to have a wild side!

I think that after eight years of pondering about what was missing in my life, I realized the answer to that mystery was that nothing was missing at all. I came to a realization that I really didn’t have a void in my life and that I have always had a happy life, but I am just always striving for happier. As I said, if we were always satisfied there would be nothing to look forward to. I think that in life we all at one point settle into a routine that becomes so every day for us that we begin to get a little bored. The key is to keep life exciting and stay young. For me, it’s not that I need to have a life of fame. My passion just lies within a fascination through music and my love for singing and musical expression. I also have a passion for romance and fireworks. Sometimes when we are in a long lasting relationship with children and everyday responsibilities, it fades. I continue to find that excitement through my celebrity crushes, keeping in mind that is alright to create fireworks through fantasy rather than create a fantasy in something real.

My last online fortune cookie said, “Believe in yourself and you will be successful.” I do believe in myself.

As far as my life goes, I am blessed to have many talents like playing guitar and expressing myself through voice. I will indulge in my music, especially if it is something that I can relate to whatever I am going through in my life at that moment.

I will have the self-confidence to continue in my martial arts training.

I am thankful for my creativity and my generosity toward others.

Most of all, I am proud of my warm heart, which I have been accused more than once of wearing on my sleeve. This is who I am. It is a blessing that I have the amazing ability to love and even more than I should at times. Feeling is being human. Therefore, it is never wrong.

At least I can say that if I die tomorrow, I don’t have to worry about anyone not knowing how I felt about them. There is no greater honor than to be loved. Say what you feel and mean what you say, the quality of being genuine.

Instead of labeling people I don’t care for in my life as insignificant, I will thank them for helping to make me that much stronger in realizing who I don’t want to be and to take life to the next level, to stand proud and continue to be happy, alive and a free spirit.

It is a great compliment to be a jack of all trades, master of none. There is really no need to be a master of anything, better to dip into a little piece of everything. If you love yourself and the things you are doing, this is what attracts others. People like to be around happiness, not those who bring them down.

In the past few days, I received the death card on my Facebook page. This card represents the beginning of a new life as a result of underlying circumstances transformation and change; the end of a phase in life that has served its purpose. I believe in this as much as I live by my daily horoscope and my ability to fulfill the role of a lioness which is a zest for life with a warm spirit, deeply sensual and passionate, openhearted, creative, enthusiastic, independent, confident and generous. Leo’s despise dull and regular routines and create their own excitement.

So I live for new excitement in my life, and when I get bored, I search for something new. There is nothing wrong with that. Even if I need to sometimes create a little fantasy, imagining what it would be like to walk on the red carpet, the excitement of writing a fan letter and hoping for a response, going to a concert and experiencing a rush, a simple trip to Mohegan Sun or the still dream of appearing on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

I imagine it all like this, as in Miley Cyrus’ song:

“I hopped off the plane at LAX

with a dream and my cardigan

welcome to the land of fame excess
,

am I gonna fit in?

Jumped in the cab
,

Here I am for the first time

Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign

This is all too crazy

Everybody seems so famous

My tummys turning and I’m feelin kinda home sick

Too much pressure and I’m nervous
,

That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio

And a Britney song was on

So I put my hands up

They’re playin my song
,

And the butterflies fly away

Noddin’ my head like yeah

Moving my hips like yeah
,

And I got my hands up
,

They’re playin my song

I know I’m gonna be ok

I am fully aware that moment could recreate itself with me standing on the giant ottoman at the front of our sectional singing into a hairbrush, but who cares. Every small moment of passion that we find ourselves relishing in is relevant in creating a lifetime of positive energy. Music, expression through lyrics, the thoughts of performing and dancing on an episode of Glee, meeting a star and fantasizing about the feeling I get when I look into his eyes, and the opportunity to love or be loved. These are my passions and my happy places.

It is important to have goals and dreams and it is even more important to follow them in some way or another. If there is a void or lull in excitement in your life, make it a goal to fill that void or to create that excitement. Follow a dream, and if it seems too far from your reach, fill the void and create excitement with another source of happiness. Create a healthy fantasy, find a fun loving hobby, explore your wild side and where your passion lies. In the wise words of an unknown author, “Someday your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.”

Everyone’s dreams and ideas of excitement are different but it’s all relevant. Keeping the excitement alive inside of us is where we all find happiness. Life is not only what lies on the surface but what lies beneath an American Idol dream.