REBORN (Metamorphosis Book 1) (25 page)

His words brought more tears to my eyes; I wanted to hug him, to tell him it was okay, but I couldn't.

"If you don't love me, if you don't want me at least let me be by your side.  I'll do anything you want me to do, just tell me," he continued. "I just need you to love me again."

I could not stay quiet after those words; my heart ached for him.  "Do you think I can turn off my feelings for you just like that?  Of course I love you Kayden, I will always love you; but you hurt me and I can't get that image of her in your arms out of my mind."

"It meant nothing," he was adamant.

"It meant everything to me.  Your touch means everything to me," I responded with equal force.

"Then let me help you forget, let me touch you, let me inside you again."

With those words Kayden turned me around and grabbed my face, then said, "Please, I promise to make it up to you the rest of my life."  And I let him in my mouth.  He kissed me with so much hunger that my lips were bruised, his tongue inside me moving with desperation, searching for mine, trying to get it to respond.  And respond I did, I returned every stroke with the same hunger and desire he had, my body helpless at his every demand, so in sync with his that it responded of its own volition.

Kayden made love to me with a desperation I had not felt before.  Perhaps he was afraid I would change my mind.  He sucked, licked, and touched every inch of my body until I responded, until I was the one frantic and needy and greedy for his touch.  "That's it baby, allow yourself to feel how right we are for each other."  And at that moment I knew we were.  No man had ever made me feel like Kayden had; I doubted if anyone else could.  So I gave myself to the heat of the moment and in his arms once again I felt what I always felt, utter and complete pleasure.

Chapter Twenty-Six

My afternoon nap had turned into an all-evening affair.  At twelve Kayden went into the kitchen to find a snack for both of us and something to drink.  He came back with a couple of sandwiches, lemonade for me and a beer for himself.  We sat on the bed and ate in silence.

"Are we good now?" he finally asked.

It took me a minute to respond, but finally I said, "We'll get there.  We still have a lot to figure out."

"Like what?" he said quietly.

"Like who was this woman and why when you saw her all your attention was on her to the point that you even forgot I was your girlfriend.  Why did you tell me you only had casual relationships before me and here she comes and it turned out it had been a yearlong relationship?  That sounds pretty serious to me, yet you didn’t tell me about her." 

I didn't want to go on and on, but I had as many questions as he did, questions we both needed to figure out before we could see our relationship back on track.

"Okay, let's start with who is this woman.  Daniela is a good friend of my sister Camila.  A few years after Megan died I was in Brazil for an extended period of time.  Camila tried to fix us up; we dated but it was not as serious as you or she are making it out to be.  When I was in Brazil we spent time together, when she came to the U.S. the same thing happened.  We had fun together, that's all," he said casually. I hated to think of him with other women, but he had said there were many; I hoped not to meet another one.

"I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it was important," he continued.  "As for having only eyes for her, I was just being polite, she is a friend of my sister's after all!  I only have eyes for you, for God's sake; I still had your smell on me, your taste in my mouth.  Do you think I can turn off and on that easily?  That after eating your cunt, sucking your breast I can in the next few minutes forget how desperate I am for you and begin to lust after another woman?  What kind of man do you think I am?"  He sounded offended now. "If this happens again, stay and fight, ask right then and there.  If I found you with another man in the same situation, running is the last thing I would do; I feel sorry for the fool."

I had to smile at the statement; I knew Kayden would beat him to a pulp!

"If the penthouse is our home, why didn’t we talk about it before inviting her to stay?" I asked him with curiosity. "We have been talking about moving in together, to make a home that is both ours, and yet here you were telling a stranger to crash in without consideration to how I felt about it."

"I am sorry baby, that will never happen again; I wasn’t thinking that it could bother you when I agreed."

He took me in his arms and said, " I don't want to lose you again, I can't.  I haven’t slept for two days, I don’t eat, and I am an ogre at work.  I need you Ellie, I feel steady when you are around, grounded.  Tell me what you need and I'll do it."

"I just need you to love me, only me; and if you ever put your lips on another woman or touch her, that will be the end of us," I said in a stronger voice than I had intended.  "I am serious, Kayden, you have no idea how much you hurt me."

"I do have an idea because I know what it would do to me if I saw you with another man, it would kill me." He sounded sincere, haunted perhaps.

"I never knew how possessive I could be until I met you.  You hurt me again and I'll disappear from your life."

"Sweetheart, if you think you can disappear from me you have something coming, I will find you no matter where you go.  I told you this is for life, you are mine for life."

"Are you mine, only mine for life?"

"Always," and then he took my face with one hand and pressed his lips against mine until my mouth opened to let him in.  His tongue roamed my mouth, making love to me with it.  With his hands he caressed my breast, my back, the inner part of my thigh. "Is this what you saw me do?"

"No," I said, barely in a whisper.

"I thought so, because if you see me kissing or touching another woman like that you better kick my ass out.  Are we good now?" he said as he lay on top of me.

Sunday morning Kayden and I made breakfast at home; we had spent the last couple of nights together and despite the lack of sleep I felt very refreshed.  It must have been all the make-up sex, because I had tons of energy!  We made pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs.  Kayden was so attentive, still trying to make up for the two nights we had spent apart.

I decided that this was as good a time as any to tell him about my upcoming work-related travels.

"You know, Wednesday I have to fly to Madrid for meetings."  I could see him tensing lightly.

"Madrid as in Spain."

"Yes."  I had thought about making a joke about it but decided instead to go straight to the point. "With the new exhibit Mateo and I have several trips that will take me away from the house during the next few weeks.  Mateo left yesterday, but I have the ultrasound Monday afternoon so I was not able to depart until Wednesday evening, just incase the doctor orders additional tests,"  I said in a buoyant way.

"When were you going to tell me about all of this?" he asked, visibly annoyed.

"Kayden, the reality is that because we broke up, I didn't have to tell you any of this."

"We never broke up; do you understand, never.  You were not talking to me, that does not mean we were not together."

"Let's not get into a fight now.  I'm going to Madrid, unless there is a problem with the baby."

"Does the doctor think there is a problem?"  He sounded anxious.

"No, but you never know at this stage."

"At what time is your appointment?"  He took out his smart phone and opened the calendar window.

"At two," I responded.

He checked his schedule and entered the time, then sent an email to his secretary.  "I'll go with you; send me a list of your appointments so I can add them to my schedule."

"Thank you for wanting to be with me throughout this process."

"Where else would I be?  How long is the trip to Madrid?" he asked.

"I'll come back on Saturday, I have meetings Thursday afternoon and all day Friday; I didn't want to stay any longer."

"I guess my punishment is that I have to spend another few nights without you.  I don’t like it; you can go this time but no more overseas trips without me."

"Kayden, you can't interfere with my doing my job.  I don’t like to be away from you either, but this is part of it," I told him, hoping that he understood my point.

"No more overseas travel without me and that's the end of it."  My Kayden was back to normal and in full force.

"What kind of ticket do you have?" he asked.

"I think it's an economy seat, that's all the museum can afford."

"We'll change it later; if you are going to travel you need to be comfortable."  I just shook my head knowing that he was right.

The rest of the morning was spent negotiating our living arrangement. No more separate apartments, we decided.  The penthouse was more spacious, so I ended up agreeing with him that it was the logical choice as long as we made some changes to reflect both our tastes and interests.  Of the three guest rooms that Kayden had, one would be converted into an office for me; I desperately needed my own space, a place to retreat to when things became overwhelming.  The larger of the other two bedrooms would be converted into a nursery, and the last one would be for mutually agreed visitors, such as his parents, his siblings, or my kids.  Anyone else we would talk about it first.  I was going to put my condo for rent and store the furniture I did not bring in with me.  With the apartment rented, I would have nowhere to run to.

This was a huge gamble for me.  It showed Kayden that I believed in our relationship, that I trusted him.  Regardless, I was still nervous about the move and even more nervous about the conversation I was going to have with my children.  After all, Kayden and I were not even married; and here I was getting rid of my apartment, moving in with him, and having his baby.  What was all that talk about independence I was feeding them a few months ago?

"What's wrong, baby?  You don't like this arrangement?  If you want to, we can buy a house, that's what I want to do ultimately."

"No, this will work for now.  I'm just worried about the kids and how they will react to all of this.  It happened so quickly."

He came to my side and put his arms around me. "When do you want us to tell them? Or do you want to do it alone?"

"I'm trying to decide whether we should talk to them before I go to Madrid or after.  Next week it's Thanksgiving and Damien will be here.  I want to tell them all at the same time, perhaps dinner here the Wednesday or Friday of that week.  What do you think?" I asked Kayden, wanting his input.

"I'd rather we tell them sooner rather than later; tomorrow would be my preference.  Waiting for the day after Thanksgiving will make the holiday awkward.  Besides, I was hoping we could all go somewhere that weekend, to get to know them better.  What do you think about a quick weekend trip to Cancun or the Bahamas?"

"I don’t know if they would want to go after I tell them, Damien especially; he has always been my baby.  I know that he had hoped that Julian and I would get back together at some point."

"We just have to convince him that your love for him will not change simply because you are having another child.  Besides, in a few years he'll be having children of his own!  And as for his hopes for his father and you, the sooner he knows that I'm not going anywhere, the better for all of us."  He kissed my forehead to reassure me but I wasn't convinced that Damien would come around that easily.

Monday afternoon we headed for the hospital.  I decided to find an obstetrician in the city and a hospital closer to me.  Kayden called Carmelo to ask for recommendations; he wanted the best in the field.  Kayden personally called the doctor and told her about our situation and that I already had an appointment for an ultrasound.  He explained that I had seen a doctor in Miami and she had recommended the ultrasound.  She told him to keep the appointment but to make sure that the results of the test were sent to her, then he scheduled a visit for Tuesday after work.

Kayden went in with me for the ultrasound.  I was nervous and I could tell Kayden was a little anxious.  I had gone through this process before, but for him this was the first time.  We were going to hear the heartbeat of our baby for the first time!  I didn’t think I could be this excited.

The technician was very professional.  She kept checking back and forth; we were beginning to get nervous. 

"Is everything okay?"  Kayden asked her.

"Yes, I just want to double check the heartbeat," she responded.  "Let me find a doctor to corroborate my findings."  The technician stepped out of the room for a second and returned with a young doctor who proceeded to follow the same steps as the technician.

"I believe I hear two.  Do you want to hear your babies' heartbeats?" he said.