Reckless Heart (Kauffman Amish Bakery 5.5) (5 page)

His mother looked at him with serious eyes. “As long as your grades don’t suffer.”

“Yes, Mom.” Tristan rolled his eyes at Lydia, and this time she laughed.

They discussed the weather until the children came trotting into the kitchen with Bitsy in tow.

“You should see the upstairs, Lydia,” Irma said while puffing to catch her breath. “They have a television in every room! Michaela turned hers on, and we saw a program with talking penguins in a city zoo!” She laughed, hugging her arms to her stomach. “It was so funny. Can you imagine talking penguins? Do you think they really talk when humans aren’t around? That’s silly,
ya
?”

Titus frowned with frustration. “I told her it was a cartoon, but she doesn’t get it.”

Lydia smiled and then stood up. “We best get home.
Mamm
and
Dat
are going to wonder where we’ve been. Thank the Andersons for inviting us inside to visit.”

“Thank you,” her siblings said in unison.

Irma squatted and rubbed the puppy’s head. “Good-bye, Bitsy.”

“Thank you so much for the treats,” Mrs. Anderson said as she followed them to the door. “It was wonderful meeting you.”

“You too,” Lydia said. She opened the front door with a
whoosh
and Irma and Titus scampered out, waving as they started down the porch steps.

Mrs. Anderson touched Lydia’s arm. “I hope everything works out with your sister. Let us know if you need anything. I’d be happy to help your family in any way I can. I can always bring a meal or babysit your siblings if you need to go to the doctor with your parents.”

“Thank you,” Lydia said. “That’s very thoughtful and kind.”

Tristan sidled up to Lydia as his mother walked back toward the kitchen. “I hope your sister is okay too. Can you let me know once you hear the news?”

“I will,” Lydia said as she hugged her arms to her chest. “I appreciate your concern.”

“It was great seeing you again.” He leaned against the front door. “Thanks for coming by and bringing great desserts. I had no idea Amish food was so delicious.”

“The tourists love it,” Lydia said. “My grandmother’s bakery is a well-known place to visit.”

“I can see why.” He grinned.

“You’ll have to come by and see it one day while I’m working,” Lydia offered. “It’s called the Kauffman Amish Bakery. I could introduce you to my family members who work there and you could get some treats. I bet Michaela would enjoy it too. You could bring her along.”

“That sounds like a plan.” He glanced toward the street. “I guess I better let you go catch up with your brother and sister. See you soon. I’ll expect that tour of the schoolhouse too.”

“I look forward to it.” Lydia said. “Good night.” She followed Irma and Titus down the street. She was thankful for the brief distraction with her new friends before she had to face whatever news was waiting for her at home.

S
he’s asleep,”
Mamm
said as she entered the kitchen later that evening after dinner.

Lydia held her breath while sitting quietly between Irma and Titus at the kitchen table. The only sound was her mother’s soft footsteps and the scrape of the wooden chair when she pulled it out from under the table.
Mamm
sank into the seat next to their father, Paul, and her eyes filled with tears.

“We have some news,”
Dat
began, his voice soft and thick. “And it’s not
gut
news.”

Oh no. This is very bad
. Lydia felt her eyes fill with threatening tears.

Mamm
swallowed a sob, and then Lydia couldn’t hold back her own hot tears, which trickled down her face.

“Your sister has …” His voice broke and he paused to clear his throat. “She has,” he began again in a raspy whisper, “leukemia.”

Lydia gasped as more tears flowed.

“Lu-kee-meeeeee-a?” Irma asked, trying to sound out the name. “Is it bad?”

“
Ya
,”
Dat
said, wiping a tear from his cheek before placing his arm around their mother. “It’s cancer, and cancer is bad.”

“Cancer?” Irma asked. “That means she’s very sick.”

“That’s right,”
Dat
said. “It’s cancer of the blood. She has something called acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and the doctor told us it’s the most common kind of leukemia in children.”

Lydia tried to understand what her father was saying. It sounded like a foreign language. “What does it mean exactly?” she asked. “What is acute lymphoblastic leukemia?”

Dat
cleared his throat. “Leukemia affects the blood and bone marrow. That’s why she’s very sick with fevers, has bruising, and is so weak.”

Irma’s face began to crumple.

Lydia sniffed and pulled her little sister toward her. Grief and worry rained down on her.
How can this be happening to us? This has to be a bad dream
.

Titus wiggled in his chair, his face grim and his eyes shiny from developing tears. “Are they sure she has this cancer? Could they be wrong?”

Their father pulled
Mamm
closer while she continued to cry. “They aren’t wrong,” he said. “They are absolutely certain. We were hoping they would give us
gut
news today, but the Lord didn’t see fit for that.”

“What happens now?” Lydia quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. “What can they do for her?” She hoped to hear a happy answer that would cause all of her worry to disappear.

“She has to undergo treatments,”
Dat
said. “She’ll have to travel to the hospital and stay there for a while. Your
mamm
will go with her and stay there.”

Lydia’s eyes rounded as panic and questions surged
through her. Mamm’s
leaving? Where does that leave me?
“What do you mean? How long will she be gone?”

“Who is going to take care of us?” Irma’s eyes filled with shock and she mirrored Lydia’s worry.

“We don’t have an exact date yet, but it will be soon.”
Mamm
sat up straight and wiped her eyes. “Dat and Lydia will take care of you, and you know that your
aentis
and
mammi
will help out too. You’ll be taken care of.”

Lydia rubbed Irma’s back in an effort to soothe her sister, even though she still felt unsure of their future.
How am I going to get through this? It’s too much to digest so quickly
.

“Will Ruthie be okay with the treatments?” Titus chimed in.

“The doctor said she should do just fine.”
Mamm’s
voice was a ragged whisper, audible only because the room was deathly quiet. “Most children survive.”

Most children?
Lydia bit her lower lip and wondered if she were having a horrible nightmare.
How is this happening to my family? Why us? Why now?

“I don’t want her to go,” Irma said with a sniff. “I want her and
Mamm
to stay right here in our house. Maybe the doctor can come here and make her better.”

“We’ll be okay,” Lydia whispered to Irma. She felt the need to calm her sister even though she felt as if she were falling apart inside. While Lydia wiped her eyes, her mother’s eyes searched hers as if asking if she believed little Ruthie would be okay.

“Things are going to be stressful,”
Dat
said. “Your
mamm
and Ruthie are going to be gone for a while, and we’re all going to have to do our part to keep this household running.” His voice sounded with authority, and that strength seemed to permeate the room as Titus sat up straight and
Mamm
wiped her remaining tears.

“How can we help?” Lydia asked. The question seemed to bubble forth before her brain registered it. But the question gave her a feeling of control despite the chaos of this news.

Reaching across the table
Mamm
’s father had made as a wedding present years ago,
Dat
took Lydia’s hand in his. “You’re such a
gut kind
.” He looked with love at his other children, his eyes shining with fresh tears. “You all are
gut kinner
, and we love you very much. But you’re right, Lydia. Your
mamm
and I are going to need you to do more at home. I’m going to have to work more hours and ask for more jobs. The doctor bills are going to pile up quickly.” His eyes focused on Lydia. “I’m going to need you to take on more chores in the house. You may need to take over the cooking, but your
aentis
and
mammi
may also bring us meals. We’re going to share our news with the community, and I assume they will reach out to us and help us in any way they can.”

“How long will
Mamm
be gone?” Lydia asked, her voice a strangled whisper.

“It looks like it will be several weeks.” He paused and turned to
Mamm
, and they shared worried expressions. “If she has complications, then she’ll have to stay in the hospital longer.”

Lydia nodded. “I understand.”

Dat
gave her a quick smile, telling Lydia that he was proud of her and causing tears to form in her eyes again. The weight of her parents’ request both frightened and saddened her.
Am I strong enough to do all they’re asking? What if I let them down?

“What about me?” Irma asked. “What can I do?”

Mamm
smiled. “You can help Lydia as much as possible.”

Lydia touched her sister’s prayer covering. “Maybe you can sweep the kitchen floor every night after supper.”

Irma looked encouraged. “I can do that.”

“I’ll take care of the animals,” Titus said. “You don’t worry about it,
Dat
. I can feed and water them, and I’ll also collect the eggs.”

“
Danki
,”
Dat
said.

Mamm’s
eyes moved to the clock on the wall. “It’s very late. We better get to bed. I have to get up early in the morning to take Ruthie back to the doctor.”

“Let’s pray before we go to bed,”
Dat
said. “We have to ask God to hold little Ruthie in his loving arms and give her doctors strength and wisdom.”

Lydia bowed her head and tried to swallow the lump in her throat while silently praying for her sister. When she heard her father’s chair push back, she knew it was time for bed.

As she walked past her mother, Lydia stopped and touched her arm. “I’m sure everything will be okay.” Her weak voice betrayed her words. In her heart, she knew there was a chance things wouldn’t be okay.

Her mother nodded, but her eyes didn’t echo her agreement. “You go on to bed, Lydia. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

“I’ll tuck Irma and Titus in, and you go on to bed,” Lydia insisted. “You will be tired in the morning.”

Mamm
cupped her hand to her mouth to stop a yawn. “I think I’m going to sleep in Ruthie’s room again tonight. I worry that she’ll wake up and cry for me.”

Seeing the worry and exhaustion in her mother’s eyes caused Lydia to protest. “No.” She touched her mother’s arm again. “I’ll listen for her. If I can’t handle it, then I’ll come for you.”

Mamm
looked surprised. “Are you certain?”

“
Ya
. I can handle it for you.” Lydia kissed her mother’s cheek. “You just take care of yourself.”

“
Danki
,
mei liewe
,”
Mamm
said softly. “You’re a
wunderbaar gut dochder
.”

Unable to speak, Lydia moved toward the door.

“Wait,”
Mamm
called to her.

Lydia turned and found her mother holding up a small booklet. “What’s that?”

“I thought you might like to read a little bit about Ruthie’s illness.”
Mamm
stood and brought it over to Lydia. “This has some information on the disease, and it’s fairly easy to understand.”

“
Danki
.” Lydia took the booklet and headed for the stairs.

Once upstairs, Lydia placed the booklet on her bureau, changed into her nightclothes, and headed out into the hallway to tuck in her siblings. She found Titus sitting up in his bed and staring at a book.

“It’s bedtime,” Lydia said gently. “
Mamm
and
Dat
are talking downstairs, so I thought I would come and tuck you in for them.”

Titus met her gaze and his big brown eyes were glassy where tears had collected. “Do you think Ruthie is going to live?”

Lydia forced a smile and hoped it was convincing. She couldn’t let her brother know how scared she truly was. “
Ya
, I do. According to the doctors, most
kinner
live and the treatments do their job. You have to trust that the doctors know what they’re doing, and they’re going to make her better. It just might take some time.”

He snuggled under the covers. “I’ll pray for her, and I’ll do my chores too.”

“
Gut
,” Lydia said, touching his hair. “I’m going to need
your help, so I’m glad you’re going to do your chores.” She kissed his head. “Gut
nacht, mei bruder
. Don’t forget your prayers tonight. Try your best to sleep and don’t let your worries take over your rest.”

“I won’t,” he said with a yawn. “
Gut nacht
, Lydia.”

She left his room, gently closing the door behind her, and padded over to Irma’s room. Peeking in through the cracked door, she found Irma on her knees while silently praying. With her eyes shut tight and her hands clasped together, Irma looked deep in concentration. Leaning on the doorframe, Lydia waited for her to finish.

After several minutes, Irma opened her eyes. “
Aamen
,” she said before standing up and crawling beneath the sheets.

Lydia stepped into the room, and Irma looked up at her.

“Where’s
Mamm?
” Irma asked. “She’s hasn’t come up to tuck me in yet.”

Lydia stood over her. “She asked me to do it since she and
Dat
need to talk. Is that okay?”

“
Ya
.” Irma gave Lydia a questioning look. “Do you think God will answer our prayers?”

Lydia sank onto the bed, which creaked under her weight. “I do. Why do you ask?”

“I’m just hoping my prayers for Ruthie will help.” Irma ran her fingers over the colorful quilt her grandmother Elizabeth had made for her when she was born. “I know God listens to us and he answers the prayers that are in his plan. Do you think he has a plan for Ruthie’s illness?”

“I do believe he has a plan for Ruthie as he has a plan for all of us.” Lydia brushed Irma’s long blonde hair back from her face. “We have to trust God and let him take care of Ruthie. You can pray and think of her all the time. I know that will help.”

Irma moved under the covers. “I’ll do that.”

“
Gut nacht
,” Lydia said before kissing her head. “Sleep well.”

“You too,” Irma said.

Lydia exited Irma’s room and closed the door before stepping over to Ruthie’s room. She gently pushed open the door and found Ruthie on her side, sleeping with her blonde curls framing her pale face. Although she looked like a sleeping angel, it was clear she was ill. She looked frail and tiny, sleeping in her crib since she’d never outgrown it.

Moving to the crib, Lydia peered in, tempted to touch her sister’s head. But she feared her touch might wake her, and the girl needed her sleep.

She looked at the single bed across from the crib, next to the rocking chair. Her mother had slept in that bed many nights since Ruthie had become ill. Lydia considered sleeping there, but her room was just on the other side of the wall, and she knew she would hear Ruthie if she cried out. Lydia had lain awake many nights in the recent past, listening to Ruthie cry.

Turning back to her baby sister, Lydia remembered the day Ruthie was born. She would never forget the excitement of waiting in the family room for the news while her mother delivered her in her bedroom with the help of Lydia’s father and a midwife. Lydia was ecstatic to hear she had another sister, while Titus had frowned and bemoaned being the only boy.

Lydia smiled at the memory and couldn’t resist lightly touching one of Ruthie’s little feet. “We’re going to take
gut
care of you,” she whispered. “You just rest and keep up your strength.”

She quietly returned to her room and flipped on the battery-operated lantern by her bedside. After getting ready
for bed, she retrieved the booklet her mother had given her from her bureau and began to read it, trying to absorb as much information as she could about the disease and the treatment. She discovered that bone marrow is the spongy center of bones where blood cells are formed. Leukemia is caused when the blood cells produced in the bone marrow grow out of control. She read about the chemotherapy and the different ways medications are administered.

Most of the concepts were completely foreign, but she found herself staring at one sentence:

Most children with acute lymphoblastic leukemia are cured of their disease after treatment
.

Most
.

The word rolled around in Lydia’s mind. It was a short word, but it held so much meaning. It meant that Ruthie could be cured.