Read Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2) Online
Authors: Chelsea Ballinger
“Or
the father that isn’t really my father?”
I
didn’t expect him to know this.
“My
mother, after I informed her of the truth, finally gave me the truth. A truth
you knew. A truth even Scarlett knew. A truth I will tell Rebecca during our
getaway.”
“Good…
you should.”
He
scoffs at me and shakes his head. “This is bullshit. Me getting some sort of
righteous wisdom from you.”
“It
is, but someone’s got to.”
He
looks out the window of his prized condo. A condo he had worshipped along with
his fiancé.
“I
thought my life was right,” he confesses. “I thought my life was right.”
“It
is. It just got invaded. I told your sister she will be okay… and she will.” He
looks at me and I give him one last truth. “And so will you.”
“You
know Scarlett skipped town.”
“Not
shocked.”
“Those
accounts that held money from the club members have already been withdrawn
apparently. She’s going to get away with everything, isn’t she?”
“Maybe.
No matter what, she’ll be alone. She can’t come back. Not now. Everyone knows
and that’s what really hurts her.”
Patrick
looks down at his feet and something tells me he’s gonna have a tougher time
than Rebecca with recovery.
“Be
well, Patrick,” I say my goodbye and head out for the door.
“You
too, Hugo.”
I
stop once I remember something very important.
“Also,
that NeoLock deal. Karlie handled it with Edward Harper and it turns out he’ll
need two investors. You should be getting a call today.”
He
smiles a little and shakes his head before responding.
“You
know… you say I’m a good man. But I’ve always been a blind man. Hopefully now I
won’t be. Hopefully now I’ll be more like you.”
This
statement piques my interest. “What’s that? An asshole?”
“No…
a good man who isn’t blind.”
I’m
in a church again. It seems fitting before my next stop. An older woman walks
past me and a priest smiles as I come close. He looks to be in his early
forties. Dark brown hair with a receding hairline and brown eyes. He has one of
those smiles that is rare in a middle aged man. Meaning it isn’t creepy.
“Can
I help you, son?” I know his voice.
“I’ve
come to receive my Hail Marys, Father.” It now registers to him.
“I
see your soul is still protected by the Lord.”
“Yes.”
“Are
you here for confession?”
“Yeah,
but I guess the booth isn’t needed now that I have come in view of you.”
“Not
what you expected?”
“I
predicted older.” He gestures to the row next to us and we both sit.
“So…
have you figured out all of God’s answers?”
“A
few.”
“Like
what?”
“Love.
Why love is existent.”
“Good.”
“I’ve
also learned that God is a very forgiving God.”
“Indeed
he is.”
“Hopefully
he continues because I have to tell you, father… it is only rare when someone
is worth forgiving in this world.”
His
eyes narrow at me as if he sees right through me, like Juliet. “Do you need to
forgive anyone?”
“Yes.”
“Is
that why you’re here? To figure out how to forgive them?”
“No,
I know… I think I just needed to create a calm before the storm. A church
seemed appropriate.”
“Well,
you are always welcome in God’s kingdom… no matter how much you deny love.”
We
both laugh a little at his analysis referring to the last time I visited.
“A
lot has changed,” I confess to him. “That girl that makes me feel so inferior
yet powerful… love is all I have for her.”
His
smile is appreciative. “Good.”
I
stand up and adjust my tie, preparing to face the storm.
“Until next time, Father.”
“Do
we have to do this, Hugo?” he nervously asks me before we walk through the
doors.
“Yes.”
“Okay…
ju-just make me brave. You’re brave, I’m brave, right?”
“No,
August.” I look at him and he looks back at me. “You make me brave.”
I
push through the doors and there’s my father on his phone discussing business
like the good businessman he is. He holds up his finger signaling me to hold on
and, well, that just won’t do. I walk up and grab the phone away from him and
hang up.
“What
the hell are you doing?” He stands up, pounding his fists on the desk. “Hugo, I
don’t have time for your bullshit today.”
“Well
I wouldn’t be me without the bullshit today. We need to talk.”
“Seeing
August is here, I am guessing this is you wanting to get the trust your mother
left you.”
“We-we
don’t really need it anymore because the woman that’s our evil grandmother left
us everything,” August says nervously.
My
father’s eyes widen. “She did what?”
“We
just came back from her funeral and reading of the will.”
He
opens his mouth and steps back, but doesn’t respond. His hand covers his mouth
as he walks away towards his window. He spins around and points. “You mean to
tell me that Goergette Voncliff… she left you everything. The Voncliff
fortune?”
“Yes,
also Oliver and Suzannah,” I say.
“What
on earth was she thinking?”
“I
suppose, ‘Let me pay for letting my son get away with molesting my daughter.’”
His
lips are pressed and he stuffs his hands in his pockets.
“Karlie
told me she told you.”
“Yes,
so I suppose you want to come here and tell me about how I failed you. How I
failed you as a father. As a husband to your mother.”
“As
a son to your father.”
He
looks at me confused. “What?”
“That’s
why you are the way you are. You probably did have a moment when you were a
child. Full of hope and possibilities, but then it was shut down by the harsh
formulated realities. They tell you what you are here on this earth for before
you even discover the possibility of something else. It’s narrow minded. It’s
sad and it is the greatest sin if ever there was a sin greater. I have hated
you for a long time.” My speech begins to mute as I wonder if I should stop
now. Stop from confessing the truth, but then I remember what this whole summer
has been about really. No more. No more running. No more lying. No more
secrets. “But I have needed you for all my twenty-three years.” His face
softens the same as mine. His body transforms just as easy as the words escape
from my soul. “I…” I look away. Out the window I see the tall skyscrapers. “I
watched my mother kill herself…” I point to the window as if she is there now.
“She looked at me… and she smiled. And then she was gone… and that night I had
no one to hold me. I had no one to tell me that everything would be okay.” I
look back at him and I am shocked by the emotion that covers him. His eyes are
shining with tears that won’t fall. “Instead I held August, and Gabriel…
Gabriel locked himself in the bathroom because he couldn’t let us see him
breakdown. You broke him when you asked him where he was. When you put it all
on him. I didn’t break down… Dad. I just… I just tried to block it all out. But
I just needed you. We needed you. So much pain. So much anger. So much. We all
get a visit from karma in our lives… well, this is yours and it’s not me
getting some petty vengeance on you. It’s nothing but… but the truth. A truth
you can’t hide from… not any more than I have tried to. It is my sacrifice to
tell you. To let you know that… no matter how much I want to literally tear it
out of me… I love you. You’re my father and I love you… and I loved my mother…
and I loved Gabriel… and I just wanted you to love us too.”
“But
we don’t need it anymore,” August finally speaks once I wipe the tears from my
eyes and his hand comes across my shoulder. “I may not be… I may not be normal
or tough as you would say a man should be but… I’m a genius… and your son. Your
job no matter what is to love us. That’s all it is. Not that hard. I never
understood why it was so hard for most of you. I don’t understand why it’s hard
for people. I am mentally and emotionally nervous due to being autistic. What’s
you guys’ problem?” I almost break out into laughter, but August isn’t
finished. “But Hugo loves me though and… unlike him I don’t care if you ever
don’t be a good dad to us, because I got Hugo. And now we got Ollie and Suzie.”
He starts to smile. “And Karlie… Juliet, Ms. Eleanor and the rest of the gang.
So yeah we don’t need you to love us anymore.”
“That’s
right.” I place my arm around my brother’s shoulder, smiling and proud at him.
“So
on that wonderful finishing statement, I believe we must be going. Our niece
and nephew will be departing today and we need to be home when they come to say
goodbye.”
I
don’t know if he wants to say anything or not, but I think it’s more of my
selfish need to want to hear it. Besides, if he needed to say something now he
would’ve stopped us. Once were in the elevator, I put on my sunglasses. Letting
my armor cover the flesh I have hid for so long.
“We
did good, right Hugo?” August asks me.
“Yes,
August. We did.”
22
JULIET
I
watch from the window. I watch as August and Hugo sit with their niece and
nephew on a stone bench on the back patio. The children are laughing at
something Hugo has said and something tells me it’s probably not even funny.
“I
think they find the seriousness of Hugo hilarious,” Karlie says beside me.
“I
agree.”
“I
better get out there or the kids will talk them to death.”
“I
don’t think they’ll mind at all.”
“Take
care of them,” Karlie suddenly says and that causes my head to turn towards
her.
“And
you take care of yourself,” I say to her and she smiles.
“You
too.”
“Twins
can be a handful,” I joke.
“Hell
yes.”
We
laugh together and continue watching the new generations of Mandrake that
neither of us doubt will start their own legacy. A legacy without the turmoil
they have been born into.
HUGO
“So
now we all have the last name?” Ollie asks me.
“Yes.”
“Mandrake…
I like that name,” Suzie smiles
“It’s
a badass name!” Ollie yells proudly.
“Don’t
curse, kid.” I figure now is the time to act like a good role model, but there
isn’t a problem with being truthful. “And yes… it is a badass name.”
“Will
you visit us in Chicago?” Suzie asks, laying her head on August’s shoulder. He
flinches a little but relaxes and lays his head on hers.
“Yes.
We will.”
“We’ll
visit here?” Ollie asks.
“Yes.
You will,” I go on to say. “And we will go on trips everywhere. Our family has
homes and land in almost every country. Life is going to be amazing for you.
Not a false advertisement like most people you will know in this world. You
will be okay.”
Ollie
nods and even though he’s just a kid, I feel he understands what I am saying.
“I
get it,” Suzie suddenly says and I look at her. “Our real daddy was sad… and
you and Mommy don’t want us to be like that.”
“Yeah.”
I nod and see the wisdom in Suzie’s blue eyes and I see excitement and ambition
in Ollie’s. He might be reckless and with recklessness comes fragility. This
means I will need to be a man for him and show him what a man is. Suzie will be
more like Karlie. Trying to hold everyone together. She will be the heart and I
must make sure her heart won’t be broken. Or at least not so brutally that she
won’t be able to make it. The only thing that saved Karlie was them. They
stopped her from tumbling over along with the fated meeting with William
Fairchild, a blessing disguised by a dying self-pitying man in a suit. I will help
protect them both.
“Can
I still get my gold inhaler?” Ollie asks before he puffs on his current inhaler
and I laugh a little.
“Sure
kid.”
“Is
that even possible? I don’t think a gold inhaler would be healthy material for
an asthmatic person,” August spits out this information. His brow is creased
and he’s irritated in trying to find the logic. “People and their materialistic
things.”
Suzie
waves her hand for me to lower my head. I do and she whispers.
“What
is he talking about?”
“Uncle
August logic,” I easily say.
She
looks at him and so does Ollie.
“You’re
weird, Uncle August,” Suzie says and Ollie agrees.
August
shrugs. “Uncle Hugo’s been called worse.”
We
all break into laughter as Karlie comes out with Juliet.
“Time
to go.”
“Bittersweet
words,” I say then take off my sunglasses as everyone stands up and follows
them back in. “Ollie.” I stop him. He turns around and comes back over to me.
“These were your father’s and I think he would like you to have them.”
Ollie
smiles and takes them from me. “Cool.” He puts them on and smiles at me.
“Cool,”
I say.
KARLIE
“Sure
you don’t need me to come with you and Ma?” Anika asks me. I smile and place my
hands on my baby sister’s face.
“You
live your own life. Take care of yourself… and I’ll see you on Thanksgiving.”
She
laughs and hugs me.
“I
love you, Karlie. You’re my hero, always have been. Always will be.”
“I
love you too… and you’re my hero too.”
We
slowly break away from each other. Tears come down my face and the same for
her. Cody walks over as Anika says goodbye to the kids.
“You
hurt her, I kill you,” I warn him and he looks a little nervous but brushes it
off laughing.
“Got
it.”
“Take
care of yourself, Cody.”
“You
too.”
I
walk over to the rest of them and bid my farewells. I watch as Ms. Eleanor
smothers my children with her chest as she squeezes them and taints them with
red lipstick on their cheeks and forehead.
“Let
us know how Chicago is,” Jordana says. “I hear they might be worse than us.”
“God
let us pray not.”
She
laughs a little as Poppy pulls me in for a very tight hug.
“It
was so nice meeting you!”
“You
too, Poppy.” I laugh and say goodbye to Jaz, Margaret Jacobs, and Juliet.
August and Hugo walk us outside to our limo.
“Who’s
that?” Suzie asks and we all stop.
The
person Suzie is referring to is her grandfather, but I can’t tell her that. I
don’t even know where to start.
Jonathan
Mandrake is just standing there, staring at my children. Seeing his
grandchildren for the first time. He just looks at them with his hands in his
pockets and this strange look on his face. A look of wonder and I believe… well
I believe it might be love at first sight for him.
He
blinks twice then looks at all of us. His eyes set on Hugo who nods at him in
understanding. Jonathan nods back.
“I’ll
be in touch,” he says before heading into his limo and pulling off.
“That
was interesting,” I say.
“I
think it was a miracle,” Hugo says and quickly picks up Suzie who is still
looking confused.
“Who
was that?” she asks again.
“Um…
a friend,” he says and kisses her on the cheek before putting her back down.
“Bye
Uncle Hugo! Bye Uncle August!” Ollie yells once inside along with Suzie as they
wave. Before I get in, I look back at the Mandrake boys. August has this
adorable smile on his face as he looks down at his feet, biting his thumb. Hugo
looks at me with the usual stoned face. I place my hands on his cheek,
softening him up.
“You
be good,” I say to him.
“I
will. You too.”
I
kiss him on the cheek and then grab a hold of a nervous August, hugging him. He
moans in discomfort and I laugh.
“You
be good too, August.”
“Okay,”
he says nonchalantly.
I
laugh again and I am delighted to laugh. I have a feeling I’ll be laughing a lot
for the rest of my life.
I
get in the limo with my babies and watch from the window as we pull off. We
keep waving to our family until they disappear from sight. I sit back and
finally I can rest with Suzie on one side, Ollie on the other. It’s interesting
how I came here for less and came out with more. I don’t know what the future
holds, but I do know I’m not going at it alone anymore. I have my family. As I
look out the window, I see the steps of the Met, the same steps I would go to
meet Gabriel when we were teenagers in love. I feel now I have everything and I
say goodbye to those steps. I say goodbye to the past and I swear I see Gabriel
standing on those steps wearing those same sunglasses and flashing that same
crooked smile. I swear I see him… so I say goodbye to him too.
JULIET
“So
what now?” Jordana asks.
“I
guess we live our lives… differently,” Cody says.
“Well,
Jaz and I are going to travel!” Poppy says in excitement.
“Really?”
I ask.
“Yeah,
and I’m also going to introduce Poppy to the family,” Jaz says and I cringe.
“Good
luck, Poppy,” I say.
“I’m
good with dads mostly… not moms. Well unless I sleep with them too.
Margaret
Jacobs almost spits out her drink as Jaz nervously laughs.
“Yeah,
we’re working on our self-discipline,” he assures us.
“Well,
life for me definitely will be different,” Margaret says.
“Well,
you won’t be alone,” I assure her. “Neither of us will be alone.”
“My
darling children,” Ms. Eleanor says, “there is nothing more draining than life.
But the thing you need to keep you going, to give you energy… is people, my
loves. People that represent beauty, truth, love. That is your energy. That is
what keeps you going through this life.”
Ms.
Eleanor once again with the wisdom. It is wisdom that sends silence through the
room. We all listen and we all wonder what tomorrow will bring. I believe I
know. I am psychic you know.
HUGO
I
watch them all dance around. They’re all annoyingly happy… and I am enjoying
it. I enjoy Cody finally getting some and being happy with Anika. I enjoy
Jordana and Margaret Jacobs doing the PDA thing out and proud. I enjoy Poppy
and Jaz, who oddly loves the thing in her head she calls a brain. I enjoy
seeing Ms. Eleanor getting her feet rubbed by her Latin lover and drinking her
usual. Bloody Mary with an extra kick. I enjoy seeing August draw a maze in his
sketchbook. His eyes peeking at the dancing around him and the corner of his
mouth turning up at what he views as his life and I see that he is happy.
Truthfully. None of this would even be remotely possible if it wasn’t for that
woman standing outside on the balcony, staring up at the night sky.
“It’s
so exceedingly joyful in there,” I say in disgust and she laughs in her
beautiful white sundress.
“Well
you should get used to that,” she says as I lean over the balcony rail.
“Should
I now?”
“Oh
yes. That is your life and it’s only going to get more complicated and better
from here.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
She faces me. “Ready for the new school year?”
“Actually
I am.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hm.
I have even declared a major.”
“Really?
What?”
“Philosophy.”
She
arches her brow at me and shakes her head. “Not shocked.”
“Didn’t
think you’d be.”
“You
should add unsung hero to that. Karlie told me you already employed her hacker
into searching for the victims of the Club… and that you plan on magically
depositing money into their accounts.”