Redemption Song (16 page)

Ethan shushed her and continued.

“Just because I have a complicated schedule doesn’t mean that we can’t work through it. And I know that what you’re going through is a lot for a guy to deal with, but I deal with tough decisions every day.” Ethan paused, trying to make every word come out perfectly. “I don’t want to lose you, Ali. And I don’t want you dealing with this alone. We’re going to get through this together, okay? Me and you.”

Alaina peered up at Ethan. He gently wiped away an escaping tear from her cheek.

There was nothing else to say. Ethan and Alaina shared a gaze of understanding. They were both taking huge risks by agreeing to care for one another—but it was a risk they were both willing to take. They understood that sometimes love requires sacrifices, but that it’s always worth it for the right person. Would it be an easy road? No. That concept was a fairytale. But it would not be a road they would travel alone.

Alaina thought that God had rescued Ethan from his drunken accident because he had big plans for him. Unfinished business for him to take care of. Ethan couldn’t help but feel like this might be it. God’s plan for him. Alaina needed someone to help her get through this storm, and Ethan wanted—possibly more than he had ever wanted anything before—to be that person for her.

It was a normal Tuesday night to the rest of the residents of enchanting Fairhope, but to Ethan and Alaina, it was a night of awakening, and awareness, and honesty. And under the brilliantly clear Alabama night sky, lit only by the glow from the huge moon overhead, Alaina finally gave into her heart. She didn’t push Ethan away. She didn’t hold back.

She reached up onto her tip-toes and allowed her lips to meet his. It was no more than a kiss, but Ethan remained respectable in every way. If this was all Alaina could ever offer him, it would be enough. He kissed her back with all he had, and in that moment Ethan Carter began to realize what it felt like to actually care about someone else more than he did for himself.

His heart was no longer his. It belonged to Alaina.

And he didn’t miss it a bit.

Alaina

It was Wednesday. The day of the week that Alaina immediately began dreading at precisely twelve a.m. each Thursday morning of the previous week. Wednesday was the day that Alaina drove Ben up to Birmingham for his weekly chemotherapy treatment. It was approximately a four and a half hour drive, which she had somehow, after repeated trips, managed to cut down to about four. Needless to say, the day was draining both emotionally and physically. Alaina would roll out of bed at four-thirty on the dot, dragging her partially asleep brother to the car in his pajamas—with a clean change of clothes packed in a bag—and set out to make it to their ten o’clock appointment at the University Of Alabama Cancer Treatment Center. They would pull back into the drive at Granny Mae’s around eleven or so that night. It was dark when they left and dark when they returned.

The trip originally felt as if it took forever, but now that she and Ben had made it so many times, it almost felt like a brief drive down the road. They had landmarks memorized on all sides of the road and noticed instantly when a billboard had been changed. In the beginning, she and Ben passed the time playing car games and singing along with the radio. Recently, however, as Ben was becoming weaker and weaker, he tended to sleep the majority of the drive. Granny Mae had accompanied her several times to help break the monotony, but Alaina hated to ask her because it seemed to wear Granny out almost as much as it did Ben.

But Alaina didn’t have to worry about that this time because Granny Mae would not be accompanying her today. Alaina had explained her mid-week routine to Ethan as he had driven them home the night before and, much to her surprise, he requested to tag along. She’d desperately tried to talk him out of going, not quite ready to let him feel the weight of her lifestyle. Things were going so well between them. They’d hit it off from the moment they’d met and Alaina was still shocked at the wave of comfort she received every time Ethan wrapped his arms around her or flashed his dimpled grin. It was this simple fact that finally broke her resistance and led to her approval of his accompaniment. Each and every visit to the treatment center became harder for Ben to endure and harder for Alaina to watch.

The center resembled any normal ole hospital until time to step off the elevator into the children’s ward. Alaina was still amazed with the change in atmosphere on that floor. There wasn’t a bare wall anywhere; murals of oceans, skies, carnivals, space, sports, and countless other things covered every square inch. She and Ben had never met a nurse that wasn’t smiling and Ben was greeted each time like a long lost friend of the staff. In the beginning, it had thrown Alaina a little off guard. How could all of these kids that were going through these terrible diseases, fighting every second just to stay alive, be so content in a place like this?

In the chemo and radiation room, hospital beds shaped as race cars lined the wall. Several kids shared the same appointment time and kept each other company while receiving their treatment. Alaina watched every appointment, always amazed at the attitudes expended by such young people. Treatments always started with the IV’s. The nurses came in and stuck a needle in one of each of their little arms. Alaina still cringed every time because she knew the dark purple bruise that would pop up the next morning from Ben’s repeated sticks. They tried to place the catheter in a different spot each time, but it didn’t matter. There were only so many places and after a while it was inevitable that the same spot would be stuck twice. After the IV tubing was in place, the treatment began. As the magic liquid flowed through their veins, destroying not only the cancerous cells but a majority of other healthy cells, as well, the kids laughed, watched movies, ate Popsicles, and drank smoothies. The bright lights and smiling faces were a great decoy, but Alaina wasn’t fooled for a second. She had seen the deep sores that sometimes formed in Ben’s mouth after a therapy session, causing him to go without food for up to a couple of days at a time. She had gotten up in the middle of the night with him as he violently threw up over and over until his stomach heaved but nothing came out. Every Wednesday, she passed time in the eerily quiet waiting room while Ben slept and recouped from the day’s treatment. Still, despite it all, the kids, Ben in particular, never lost faith. They weren’t angry. They lived each and every day as if it was their last and appreciated every single little thing that was done for them. Their strong spirits never ceased to amaze Alaina and she thanked God daily for knowing them.

Ben had thankfully made a couple of friends that were going through the same obstacles as him. Playing with them at the treatment center was the only time she ever saw her brother remove his signature ball cap without shame and just be the carefree little boy she remembered from before he was diagnosed. Alaina knew one thing; she would not have been able to deal with Ben’s treatments with as much strength as she had if not for the awesome nurses and doctors that worked with him. They provided her about as much comfort as they did Ben.

After Alaina finished her daily devotional, she groggily finished up the touches on her appearance, feeling the effects of her lack of sleep during the night, and exited into the hallway. She wondered if Ethan had remembered to set his alarm, and if so, if he had managed to not hit the sleep button until it quit going off. She hoped so because it was almost five and they needed to hit the road immediately. When she reached Ben’s bedroom and tapped lightly on the door, she was surprised upon opening it to find that the room was empty.

She backtracked and descended the staircase to find Ethan standing at the front door talking to Granny Mae and Ted. Alaina’s stomach did a summersault upon sight of Ethan and her feelings for him instantly magnified. Fully dressed and ready for the day, Ethan stood with his guitar case hanging from his back, and Ben lying peacefully asleep in his arms. She paused for a moment at the base of the stairs to take it all in.

“Good morning, hon,” Granny Mae said sweetly when Alaina entered the living room. Ted gave a slight wave and Ethan’s head shot up, their eyes meeting instantly. He gave a slight grin and shrugged.

“When I saw the time, I figured you would want to leave soon so I went ahead and brought Ben down for you. I hope that’s okay,” Ethan said.

Alaina’s heart melted. “Thanks,” was all she replied. Their eyes never veered and a silence fell in the room. The memory of Ethan’s lips against hers flashed in her mind and her cheeks grew hot. She sucked in a deep breath trying to calm her nerves as Ethan studied her from across the room. Neither realized that Granny and Ted were watching with intrigued expressions.

Finally, Granny cleared her throat. “Ethan, dear, why don’t you take Ben out to the car before he wakes up?”

He simply nodded and turned for the door as Ted pulled it open for him. He carried Ben out to the Charger that still sat parked in the same place it had been when they’d arrived home from the festival.

Alaina reached for a couple of pillows and a blanket that Granny had laid out on the couch for her. On her way out the door, Alaina stopped to give Granny a swift kiss on the cheek and was handed a bag of goodies for the road. “Thanks, Granny Mae,” Alaina said gratefully. Granny always had everything together for her early morning departures.

She ran to meet Ethan at the car. She opened the backseat door, placed the pillows on one side, and pushed the seats forward as Ethan carefully laid Ben down. Alaina took the blanket and spread it across him. He never budged.

Ethan insisted on driving and as they reached the outskirts of the Fairhope city limits, he turned onto Highway 10 to Mobile which would eventually lead to I65 all the way to Birmingham.

“I can’t believe you got around so fast this morning,” Alaina said once they had been driving awhile.

He seemed a bit surprised. “What did you expect?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be so . . . efficient.”

Ethan scoffed. “Are you kidding? I’m totally efficient! Five a.m. is a normal morning for me.”

“A big rock star like you?” Alaina jeered. “No way, I’m not buying.”

“Okay, maybe it’s not five every day,” he smiled, “but it is sometimes. Like when I’m performing on a talk show or doing a radio show. I have to get there really early for wardrobe and sound checks. Good Morning America was the worst. That day started around three a.m. The Ellen Show wasn’t too bad, being in the middle of the day, but I think Letterman and Leno were my favorites. They made for really late nights, but at least I didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn and . . .”

Ethan paused when he noticed Alaina staring at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said quickly, trying to hide her smirk.

“Then what’s with the face?”

Alaina gave a quick laugh. “You . . . amaze me sometimes.”

“Oh yeah?” Ethan cast a proud grin. “And why’s that?”

“I don’t know. It’s just, when we’re together you seem so normal—helping my brother and going with me to the hospital—and then you talk about appearing on talk shows. I mean, who does that? It’s a little . . . strange . . . that’s all. Sometimes I forget what your real life is like.”

“My real life?”

“Yeah, the life that doesn’t involve lengthy hospital visits and sick kids and emotionally stressed out girl . . . acquaintances . . .”

Alaina abruptly shut her mouth realizing she was about to call herself Ethan’s girlfriend! What was she thinking? It was one kiss for goodness sakes. Only one kiss! Alaina didn’t know what it took to be considered the girlfriend of the world-renown teen pop sensation, but she was fairly certain that their last two days together probably didn’t qualify her.

After a short silence, Ethan spoke with a curious tone, his eyes never veering from the road ahead. “Acquaintances? Is that what we are?”

Alaina froze. “I . . . uh . . .” Her stomach twisted in knots and she gave a slight grunt to clear her throat. “What . . . what would you like us to be?”

Ethan smirked, as if he found something in his own thoughts quite amusing. He reached down, took hold of her hand, and lifted it. His lips pressed gently to the back of her hand and he held it tightly against his chest. “Whatever you want, Ali. I’ll take whatever you’ll give me.”

Alaina

The ride to Birmingham felt to Alaina as if it took only a fraction of the time it normally did thanks to Ethan’s company. She could be so carefree with him. She didn’t have to be anyone but herself. She didn’t worry about not looking the right way for him, or whether or not she was saying all the right things, and even though she knew Ethan wasn’t a believer, Alaina didn’t have to hide the fact that she was. She made constant references to her faith and Ethan just listened intently as if he actually might be a little interested to hear more. She sat in the passenger side of the rental with her bare feet resting comfortably on the dash in front of her. Her hair hung in a loose side braid, and her eyes rarely shifted anywhere but to the boy that sat beside her.

Ethan held her hand and pretended to tickle her until she screamed and smacked him on the arm for not watching the road. He told her she looked beautiful even though she knew she’d gotten way too little sleep to hide the bags that hung under her eyes. He sang her songs, usually making up his own lyrics to every song that came on the radio; either completely butchering the song or putting the original singer to shame. Alaina was nothing short of enchanted, and with each passing second of their time together, she fell deeper and deeper for the boy she knew hardly anything about. And it was almost . . . just almost . . . enough to distract her from the fact that Ben had not woken the entire trip there—which was a first.