Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance (16 page)

His hand grips his thick shaft, aligning it with my entrance.  I gaze down at his devastatingly handsome face as I slowly sink inch by inch down onto him.  His mouth opens as a moan escapes his throat.  "Fuck.  Penny," he growls when I'm fully seated.

It takes me a few minutes to adjust to his girth before I can start moving my hips.  I gasp when I begin to rock slowly on his lap.  His hands are on my back, roaming my heated skin as I ride him harder and faster.  I almost forgot how good it always felt between us.

"You're so tight.  So wet.  So good," he mumbles between thrusts.

I place my palms on his chest as his fingers dig into my hips, raising me up so he can drive even harder into me.  I call out his name as he pounds into me over and over, making it feel so incredibly good I feel like I could pass out.  My breasts swing freely in front of his face, and he takes his time drawing each nipple into his mouth, biting gently at my flesh and driving me completely insane.

I can feel my insides start to shudder as my orgasm starts to take me by force.  "Colton," I cry out, digging my fingernails into the muscled flesh of his shoulders.

In a sudden movement, Colton's hands grip my backside, and he flips me over so that I'm now on my back and he's above me.  I gasp in surprise, and his mouth crashes to mine possessively in a bruising kiss.

He sits back on his knees and runs his cock up and down the length of my slit.  My breathing gets faster and my hips undulate as I try to get more friction.  "Colt," I moan.

His eyes seem to darken when I say his name.  He continues to torture me until it feels like I'm going to detonate without him even being inside of me.

"Colt, please," I beg.

He drags his length against me one last time before he stops, leaving me a panting, quivering mess.  "Tell me you want me," he says.

"I want you.  Now.  Please."

His tip presses against my entrance before he plows into me in one quick thrust.  My back arches up as I cry out, my voice echoing in the room.  He pulls back one last time before entering me again, and this time he doesn't stop.  My pussy tightens around him as he drives into me, my hips meeting his thrust for thrust.

I'm clawing his muscular back and trying to focus on breathing, but it feels too good.  I know I'm close, and I'm almost afraid to go over the edge.  It might just break me.

"Your tight pussy is milkin' my cock, baby," Colton groans, and his words almost undo me.  "I know you're so damn close.  I want you to come for me, Penny," he says before roughly taking my mouth with his, forcing his tongue inside and possessing me.  His hips move quicker then, driving into me with a torturous rhythm.

I hold onto his shoulders as he fills me over and over again.  I cry out one last time as an intense orgasm explodes within me, my core squeezing him relentlessly until he fractures right along with me.  Colton slams into me one final time before burying himself inside so deep.  He whispers my name like a benediction, wrapping his hands around me and pulling me closer.  I lie there in his embrace for a long time, and I cherish every second of it.

Eventually, he collapses onto the bed beside me, taking me with him.  I lie there on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat.

His fingers lazily trail down the center of my back, making me shudder again.  "Wow," I whisper, the word catching in my throat.

I feel his lips kissing my temple and my cheek, and I want to live in this moment and never leave.  I've never felt more content.  It's like the last five years washed away, and here we are with a fresh new start.

Sitting up, I stare down at him.  He looks sleepy and sexy with a satisfied smirk on his face.  I kiss him one last time before going to the bathroom to clean up.  When I come back, he's crawling back into bed with his boxer briefs back on.  I watch him pull the sheets and comforter from the floor, spreading them out over the bed.  I stand at the end of the bed, not knowing whether I should stay or go back downstairs.  He answers for me when he folds down the edge of the blankets and pats the mattress while looking up at me.

I'm almost giddy as I practically run to the bed and jump in.  I curl up next to him as he pulls the covers over top of us.  Then he kisses the top of my head like he always used to do before we fell asleep together.  I wrap my arm around his waist and sleepily sigh, contentedly.

"Goodnight, Penny," he whispers.

"Goodnight, Colt."  And then right before I pass out, I whisper, "I love you, Colton James."

CHAPTER 13

COLTON

"I LOVE YOU, Colton James."

Penny's words echo in my mind over and over the next mornin' as I get out of bed.  I stare at her as the first light of day cascades in between the mini blinds, highlightin' her blonde hair spread out over my dark pillow.  Her lips are in a sexy pout, and she looks like an angel with her long eyelashes fanned out over her cheeks.  Last night was like a dream.  And if she weren't here right now in my bed and in front of my very own eyes, I probably would be thinkin' that it was all a dream.

Her chest rises and falls in an even, steady pace, and it's almost hypnotic.  I could stand there and watch her all day.  But instead, I pull my gaze away from her and get dressed.

"I love you, Colton James."

I close my eyes, unable to get those words out of my head.  I can still hear them just as if she's speakin' them right now.  It was strange hearin' the words come out of her mouth.  She was asleep and probably didn't even know she said the words out loud.  But she still said them…and I'm still tryin' to get a grip on how those five simple words are affectin' me.

I force myself to walk out of the bedroom as an intense feelin' of fear courses through my veins.  But it's not because of what she said.  It's because I almost told her that I love her too.

Feelin' confused, I head outside and into the shed beside the house.  There's a weight bench and a punchin' bag, and I go there when I need to let off some steam.  And I suddenly have a lot of steam to release.

As I'm wrappin' my hands with tape, my thoughts keep driftin' to last night.  It still seems unreal.  I lost Mack.  Penny stayed with me all night, helped me get through yet another nightmare…and then we had sex.  I still can't believe all of that happened within the span of a few hours.  How did we go from pretty much hatin' each other to sleepin' together?

When Mack died, Penny was the only person I could think of callin'.  Why I didn't call Buddy or Ruby Sue, I have no idea.  My mind focused on needin' Penny and only her.  And it felt right when she was here.

But now that we've had sex, things are more complicated than ever.

Instead of stayin' away from her like I told myself I would, I fucked up and did the one thing I should have never done.  Angry with myself, I stand in front of the punchin' bag and take a hard right hook to it.  The board the bag hangs from creaks and groans as I slam my fist again and again into the inanimate object.

I made a mistake by sleepin' with Penny.  I know that now.  She's gonna think we're in some kind of relationship.  She's gonna try to fix me even more so than she has over the past couple of weeks.  I just know it.  But what she doesn't realize is that I don't want to be fixed.

I slam my fists into the bag over and over until my knuckles practically scream in agony.  Pantin', I slump down on my weight bench and unwrap my sore hands.  My knuckles look bruised.  I always overdo it when I come in here.  This is sometimes the only release that gets me through the day.  I have so much built up anger.  Anger over the accident.  Anger over the fact that I couldn't save my brother.  Anger over the fact that I'm alone in this world with no family left.

Glancin' at the clock on the wall, I see that it's only eight o'clock in the mornin'.  I don't know how late Penny will sleep, but I'm not stayin' to find out.  When she wakes up, I won't be here.  That's just the way it has to be.  I don't need to get close to Penny just to have to turn around and lose her.  Either she'll leave or she'll end up gettin' hurt, but I won't be here to go through that.  I can't lose anyone else in my life.

I can't.

I won't.

*  *  *  *  *

PENNY

I WAKE UP with a stretch and a satisfied groan.  I feel sore in all the right places, and I can thank Colton for that.  With a smile on my face, I reach for him beside me, but instead find the bed empty.  The sheets are cold, telling me that he hasn't been here for a while.

Thinking that maybe he's surprising me with breakfast, I quickly use the adjoining bathroom before going downstairs.  My smile falters when I see that he's not in the kitchen…or the living room…or any of the rooms downstairs.  "Where are you, Colt?" I whisper.

An aching pain starts in my chest, and I rub my palm over it as I swallow back the lump forming in my throat.  Does he regret last night?  Does he feel like we made a mistake?

I shake my head, dismissing the ideas.  No.  That can't be it.  Maybe he just went for a jog.  Or maybe Buddy called about something that happened at the bar.  Or maybe he did go to get breakfast because the last I knew he couldn't even make eggs if his life depended on it.

I plaster the smile back on my face, determined to think positively.  Things changed between us last night, and I know he felt it too.  We're back on the track to finding each other again, and I'm not going to let anything deter that…especially not my negative thoughts.

I leave his house and return to my apartment.  I'm working in a few hours, but it's way too early to start getting ready.  I decide to make myself a blueberry bagel with cream cheese for breakfast and chill out on the couch while reading a romance novel.  The book keeps me preoccupied for the most part; but after a while, I find myself rereading the same page over and over again.  All I can think about is Colton.  Our night together was passionate, hot, and it has me squeezing my thighs together just thinking about it.  Colton and I were always so great together.  Five years is a long time to go without being with anyone else, but I'm glad I waited.  Somehow I knew Colton and I would end up back together.  And last night proved it.

Sighing, I glance at the clock and realize it's time to get ready for work.  I take a long shower, enjoying the hot water and steam.  I straighten my long blonde hair and put it up in a high ponytail.  Then I paint on smoky eyes, a touch of blush and a pale lip gloss to complete the look.  I pull on a black Crawford's Bar v-neck tee and a pair of cut-off shorts and slip my feet into my favorite strappy sandals.  It's almost eleven o'clock by the time I make it downstairs.  That gives me plenty of time to prep for the lunch crowd.  Buddy is already in the bar when I walk through the door.  I swear he lives here.

Buddy has a solemn look on his face as he says, "I can't believe old Mack died."

So, apparently Colton talked to Buddy, but not me this morning.  I match Buddy's expression as I say, "I know.  It was a really bad night for Colt."  I glance around the empty bar.  "Is he here?"

Buddy shakes his head.  "He called me a little while ago.  Said he was going to be gone until later."

My footsteps falter at Buddy's words.  So much for Colton going out to buy me breakfast or any of the other hundred excuses I had thought up for where he disappeared.  He didn't even mention about having anywhere to go today.  Maybe it just slipped his mind with everything going on.  Shaking the negative thoughts off, I go to the kitchen and start prepping.

*  *  *  *  *

WORD MUST HAVE traveled fast in town, because we are the busiest we have been since I first started working.  All of my baked goods sell out by two o'clock, and I realize I will have to bake more sooner than I thought.  Buddy looks pleased as punch as he counts the money in the cash register after the last customer leaves.  "Do you think you could bake some more before supper?" he asks eagerly.

I grin and nod.  "Sure, Buddy.  I want to see if Colton's home yet anyway."

I'm disappointed when I walk into Colton's house and realize it's empty.  It feels even emptier without Mack around.  I miss that dog so much already.  Dashing tears away, I go to the kitchen and get to work on baking pies, a welcome distraction.  I picked a bunch of apples the other day, and since apple pie was our bestseller, I decide to make a lot of them.

It takes a while for all the pies to bake and cool before I can return to the bar.  Buddy is busy in the back grabbing liquor bottles when he sees me.  He sets the bottles down, and takes the large box of pies out of my hands.  "These look great, Penny."  He breathes deeply.  "Smell great too."  He takes a pie out of the pile and puts it to the side.  "I'm keepin' this one for me," he says with a lazy grin.

I chuckle and help him with the rest of the pies and the liquor bottles.  Supper is crazy, and I struggle to keep up with all of the orders.  I added a few more items to the menu; and now that we seem to be really taking off business wise, it's hard for me to do everything on my own.  Buddy comes in and out of the room, running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  I don't think he even knows whether he's coming or going.  I sure as heck don't.

A few times I notice he attempts to call Colton with no answer.  "Come on, Colt.  Where the fuck are you?" he mutters as he rounds the corner while looking dismally at his cell phone.

"Should we be worried?" I ask, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.  What if something happened?  I start thinking about the worst possible reasons he could not be returning Buddy's calls just as I hear Colton's voice from the front of the bar.

Feeling relieved, I follow Buddy out to the front of the bar.  My face falls as I see Colton stumbling in with his arm around Ruby Sue.  She's giggling at something he said, and he looks up at me with a smirk.  His expression falters for a second before he returns his attention to Ruby and plasters a big grin on his face.

Now I really do feel sick.

"What the hell, Colt?" Buddy asks.  "You don't answer your phone when someone calls you?"

Colt fumbles with his phone and finally draws it out of his pocket.  He's clearly drunk.  "Oh, yeah," he says nonchalantly.  "Whadidja want?" he asks, running his words together.

Buddy motions to the back room, and I hurry back there before Colton and Buddy join me.  I stay in the corner of the room near the sink with my head down.  I am so embarrassed and furious right now that I can't even think.

"Supper crowd was crazy.  We needed you!" Buddy reprimands Colton.  "Shelby Rae is out of town visitin' family and couldn't come in.  We could have really used your help!"

"S-sorry, man.  I was with Ruby S-Sue," he says, slurring his words.

"You show up here drunk off your ass.  Fuck, Colt.  I thought you'd show up to help.  You can't do shit now that you're plastered."

Colton shrugs his shoulders and stumbles out of the room.  Buddy looks to me with raised brows, and I tell him, "We've been managing okay without him.  Let's just get through tonight."

Buddy nods once.  "I don't know what I'd do without you, Penny.  I mean that."  He gives me a small smile before leaving the room.

Alone, I hold onto the sink for support.  I feel like my whole world is coming down around me.  Last night apparently meant nothing to Colton.  Nothing.  All my hope for finding him again has been dashed away in a single moment.  I thought last night would change everything.  In the very least, I thought he would break things off with Ruby Sue for good.

Steeling myself, I stand up straight and march over to the stove.  I continue making the orders, thankful for the diversion.  Everything will sort itself out in the end.  I truly do believe that.  I have to believe that, or else I might just drive myself crazy.  I refuse to even acknowledge the logic behind Colton bringing Ruby Sue here tonight after the night we shared.  I keep reminding myself that he's a different person now, but I'm still clinging to the
old
Colton,
my
Colton, the boy I fell in love with.  Although my Colton would never have hurt me the way he is right now.  And I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get him back.

*  *  *  *  *

THE NEXT NIGHT I go on another date with Tucker.  He always takes me to a fancy restaurant, wining and dining me, and then brings me back to my apartment for a goodnight kiss that always turns heated, but never goes anywhere.  And that's where we're at right now --- first base, rounding second.  I know he wants more, but he never pushes me.

Breaking off the kiss, he pulls back and places his forehead against mine as he pants.  "Penny…is it me?"

"No," I whisper, feeling like a complete bitch.  We have been on a lot of dates.  Many girls would have put out on the first or second or even third date.  I feel terrible for not going any further with Tucker.  We haven't even made it past kissing and some PG-rated on-top-of-the-clothes stuff.

"Is it Colton?" he asks with irritation lacing his tone.

"Yes," I answer him honestly.  I stare into his blue eyes and say, "I'm sorry, Tuck.  I'm not being fair to you."

"It's okay.  I get it."  When I look at him skeptically, he puts his hands up in defense and says, "I do."

"I'll understand if you want to date other girls," I tell him.

Gently, he cups my face in his hands and says, "Penny, I would wait a thousand years until you're ready.  I've already waited almost my entire life.  What's another twenty, give or take?"