“I don’t know.” Quintus gave Renner a squeeze and then took him over to the bed. They sat down on the edge, holding hands. “We can’t hide forever.”
“What if you pretend it doesn’t mean anything?”
“Our bloodbond means everything.”
“No, I mean, finding him in there. You came home last night, found he was asleep, so you found another bed.”
Quintus considered. “It sounds kind of iffy.”
“Do you have a better idea?” Renner realized he sounded snotty and promptly apologized. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want him to banish you.”
“I don’t want that, either.” Quintus looked out the window. From this part of the wing, he had a great view of the long drive. The area where they had confronted the slammers was a long ways away, but Renner knew that was what Quintus was thinking of when his hand tightened on the bedding. “But I also don’t want to lie to McBride. He’s a good man.”
“He is.”
Quintus took a deep breath and stood. He lifted and kissed the back of Renner’s hand. “I’m going to go down the hall and talk to him. Stay here.”
“No!” Renner stood, too. “We go together or not at all.”
Quintus shook his head. “As much as I admire your courage, think of how much more difficult it will be for McBride to have you there. It’s bad enough I’m rejecting his suit, but to have you standing there, witnessing it, just seems like pouring salt in his wounds.”
Renner knew Quintus was right, but he felt like a coward by staying behind. “Now I know exactly how Jonas felt when he had to stay here with Alden rather than going to confront the slammers.”
“But do you see why McBride made that decision?”
“I do. I don’t like it, but I do understand it.”
Quintus kissed him and brushed his fingers through Renner’s hair. “You are so beautiful.”
“Me?” Renner laughed. “I’m nothing like the pretty little thralls.”
“No. You’re not. You’re beautiful in your own way.”
Something about what he’d said almost brought tears to Renner’s eyes. It was sweet, unbearably so, but more importantly, Quintus hadn’t said it just to be kind. His honesty was evident by the cast of his gaze and the open expression on his face.
“If he should tell you to go, you must take me with you.”
Quintus stiffened and then deliberately relaxed. Rather than answer, he simply nodded, but when he did, he turned away.
“No, no, no.” Renner cupped his chin and searched his face. “You’re lying without saying a word.”
“If McBride decides that he doesn’t want me here, I’m not going to drag you off the land with me.”
“But we’re bloodbonded. Without you I’ll die.”
“You won’t.” Quintus cast his attention on the long drive again and sighed. “If McBride won’t let me stay, I don’t think I’ll survive long out there.”
Even though he didn’t want to, Quintus left Renner but only after thoroughly reassuring him. As much as he wanted Renner at his side, he didn’t want to do anything to embarrass McBride. Quintus had never agreed to become his mate, but that still didn’t mean the situation shouldn’t be handled with all due caution and care.
After a dozen deep breaths, Quintus went down the hall toward his bedroom. McBride was still in his bed, just like he had been last night. He was facing the wall rather than the door, but he was still tangled in his sheets. Quintus had been so shocked to find him there last night he’d actually run back down the stairs before he stopped himself in the foyer. When he realized there was nowhere to run to, he plodded back up the stairs, favoring his injured leg. He found it odd that it hadn’t hurt all evening until that moment.
He’d returned to his room and stood in the doorway, gazing at McBride. Why couldn’t he want him? It would have made everything so much simpler. They were of the same class. They should naturally fit together, but Quintus had lost his heart as soon as he’d looked at Renner.
Renner was extremely handsome, but that wasn’t what compelled Quintus. It was his kindness, his compassion, and even his bold yet shy way of approaching him. When he’d been tending to his injury and his hand had strayed up Quintus’s leg, he’d yanked it away like he hadn’t even been aware of what he was doing. But then, after a few hot kisses and a lusty drink of his blood, Renner straddled his hips and rode him proudly. It was his mix of dominance and submissive surrender that sparked Quintus to crave him.
All he had to do now was tell McBride how he felt. Quintus wanted to confess without any drama or hurt feelings, but he didn’t see how that was going to happen when McBride seemed so convinced they were right for one another.
Quintus entered the room and settled on the edge of the bed. McBride stirred, stretched, and rolled over.
“Hi.” He blinked and looked around. “Why am I not in my room?”
“You’re in my room.”
McBride bolted up in the bed so fast he startled Quintus into a standing posture.
“Sorry.” McBride shook his head, clearly trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. “What am I…” His voice trailed off as he looked down at himself. When he realized he was dressed, he seemed to grasp that they hadn’t spent the night together. “I stayed in here waiting for you.”
Now McBride’s sky-blue eyes turned dark. “I was in here all night.”
“I came up and found you here. You were asleep, so I just went to another room.” Quintus silently thanked Renner for giving him a passable lie.
“Oh.” McBride didn’t seem to believe him, but he wasn’t calling him a liar and a cheater, so that was good.
Quintus smiled, but he was sure it looked as forced as it felt, so he stopped.
“We need to talk.” McBride swung his legs out of bed. When he stood, Quintus took a step away. He tried to hold his ground, but he couldn’t. McBride was almost half a foot taller and at least fifty pounds heavier. Quintus had always taken pride in his muscular form, but there was no mistaking that McBride was bigger and clearly stronger. “Why are you backing away?”
“I don’t want to be your mate.” Quintus wanted to slap himself. Instead of handling the situation with care, he’d blurted out the truth like he was a criminal confessing to the crime of the century.
“I kind of figured that when you didn’t come home.” McBride finger combed his hair as he looked out the window toward the yard. “Renner?”
For some crazy reason, Quintus thought about lying, but what was the point? Instead, he nodded. “Please don’t be angry with him. It was me.”
“You forced him?” McBride lifted one brow as he considered Quintus.
“No. Yes. In a way.” Quintus took a deep breath to stop himself from babbling. “Are you angry?”
“If you took advantage of one of my men, yes.” McBride walked over and closed the door, sending Quintus’s heartbeat into the danger zone. “But I have a feeling you’re just nervous.”
“You closing the door isn’t helping with that.” Quintus swallowed hard and realized he was near to the bathroom door. If he was quick, he could duck through there.
“I want privacy.” McBride settled down on the bed then pointed to the chair tucked under the vanity. “Have a seat.”
Reluctantly, Quintus sat.
“I’m not angry.”
Even though he wanted to sag with relief, he didn’t, because he had a feeling McBride had a lot more to say. Quintus realized he wasn’t off the hook yet.
“Believe me, I know how difficult it would be to forget one man for another.” McBride sighed like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Quintus was starting to see that in many ways he did. This was his land, and everyone on it looked to him as the ultimate voice in what would happen and what wouldn’t. “I think I told myself I wanted you because it was somehow easier to pick you than…”
“Than?” Quintus prompted.
“Than the man I really want.” McBride straightened his bed-creased clothes. “I’m not even sure why I came in here. I just was so surprised when you didn’t leave Renner’s. I thought maybe I missed you, so I came into the house and up here, but you weren’t here. I stood by the window for a long time, watching.”
Quintus hung his head. He’d been about as subtle as a thrall running naked through the street. “I wanted to leave, but I just couldn’t get my feet to go. Renner was convinced it was going to be our last night together and—you don’t want to hear all that.”
“Not really. I mean I don’t need the details. It’s clear there’s no putting the brakes on your interest in him.”
“We bloodbonded last night.” The look on McBride’s face made Quintus feel like he’d just plunged a knife in his heart and twisted. “It was an accident.”
“Renner’s teeth accidently fell on your neck?”
“I’m sorry. I’m making a mess of this.”
“No, I think I made the mess all on my own.” After releasing a long sigh, McBride looked at Quintus with terrible sadness turning his sky-blue eyes cloudy. “I should have asked and not assumed. I just wanted to put an end to something, and I thought making you my mate was the best way to do that.”
“What were you trying to end?”
McBride lowered his head, clearly reluctant to answer.
“Never mind. It’s none of my business.”
“No, but your love life isn’t any of mine, either.”
“It’s your land.” Quintus had another urge to slap himself. Why in the world was he reminding McBride that he could punish him for what he’d done?
“It is, but it isn’t. I can’t run it alone. I need everyone. I need…I needed a mate to keep me on the side of law and order.”
“You realize how crazy it is out there, right?”
“I do.” McBride removed his boots from under the bed and pulled them on. “I think that was another way to stop the inevitable from happening.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know. I want to explain, I really do, but I think I hurt him so badly this time that there’s no coming back from it.” McBride rose and went to the window. “I thought if I stood on the side of law and order the world would go back to the way it was. But that’s foolish when I can’t very well claim another mate when I already have one.”
“Jonas?”
McBride nodded. “I can’t turn around and claim you legally when I already took him.”
Quintus wasn’t sure, but he imagined McBride was looking down at Jonas.
“But you don’t really love him.”
“No. I love…another.”
Quintus was just about dying of curiosity. Since every man on the farm was already mated…“Are you in love with Renner?” The notion of it shot Quintus to his feet. “You want to claim one of your own slammers?”
“You want to claim one. Why can’t I?” McBride pressed his hand to the glass and traced his finger over it almost as if he were touching the man below.
Determined to find out who he was talking about, Quintus stepped forward and peered down into the yard. The only person he saw was Caleb. Automatically, he shook his head, but then the more he thought about the pairing, the more he could see the two men finding peace in one another’s arms.
“He’ll forgive you.”
“I don’t think he will this time. Not after what I said.”
When Caleb looked up, McBride pressed his palm flat to the window. After squinting up at them, Caleb deliberately turned his back and walked away.
“He can’t see us up here.” Quintus didn’t want McBride to make too much of that action, but his words seemed to fall on deaf ears.
“He knows I’m here.”
“Are you bloodbonded to him?”
“I’m afraid it’s something much more intense.” McBride turned, and his weary gaze landed on Quintus. “I’m soul bonded to him.”
“I made a terrible mistake.” McBride wished he could go back in time to last night and take back all the lies. “I told him I’d already claimed you.”
Quintus uttered a stunned gasp but had the good grace to keep silent.
“He was hurt beyond words.” McBride would remember that look for the rest of his life. Caleb had been devastated, but he wasn’t going to grovel or keep trying to win McBride back when there was no hope. He’d kept his head held high as McBride walked away. What he did after McBride left, McBride didn’t know, but he imagined it wasn’t a pretty picture.
“Surely, you’ve had relations before.”
“With grinders, yes, but it was meaningless. The only time it mattered was the night when I found one who looked like Caleb. I tried to fuck that man into oblivion, but I ended up alone and frustrated.” McBride’s hand turned to a fist against the glass. “I have wanted Caleb since the moment I laid eyes on him. I thought it would go away. I thought it was just a passing fancy for a man who was so arrogant and proud.”
Quintus placed his hand low on McBride’s back. His touch was comforting but unnecessary since there wasn’t anything in the world that was going to give him solace against the pain of hurting Caleb.
“I saw what my comments about you were doing to him, and I just kept right on going.” McBride watched as Caleb came back across the yard, heading toward the shed. He moved with grace for such a large man. “My grand plan to find all of my men mates actually worked out, but the last one doesn’t want the man I have for him.”