“What are you going to do?” Quintus moved away from the window, returning to his seat by the vanity. He seemed much more relaxed now that he knew McBride wasn’t going to banish him or demand more than he could give.
“I honestly don’t know.” McBride turned and faced Quintus. He could understand why Renner fell hard for him. He was handsome and had a tough look about him that belied his kind nature. “I want to tell him and the rest of my men the truth, but I don’t think it will do any good with Caleb.”
“You won’t know unless you try.”
“And lose face.”
Quintus frowned. “What if we say we tried and it simply didn’t…work?”
“We tried to have sex and it didn’t work?” McBride chuckled. “Which one of us is impotent?”
“Neither. Or both.” Quintus laughed. “Okay, never mind. That’s idiotic.”
“No, it’s an idea that won’t work. Doesn’t mean anything negative about you.” McBride settled back on the bed. “If I could go back in time, I’d do everything differently, but I can’t.”
“And you probably wouldn’t. Every book I’ve read or movie I’ve seen about time travel, it seems the hero always manages to end up right where he was in the first place.”
“That would be just my luck.”
“Tell him the truth.”
“The truth that I lied to him?” McBride considered how that would go. He pictured Caleb listening to him and nodding his head in that mocking way of his until McBride stopped talking. Then Caleb would ask if he was finished. When McBride said he was, Caleb would say “good” and walk off without a look back.
“Well, explain to him what you were trying to do.”
“I was trying to put the final nail in our relationship coffin.” McBride dropped his head into his hands as another headache started to build. “I think I actually succeeded this time.”
“You won’t know unless you try.”
“Right.”
They sat in silence for a long while.
“How will we handle this in front of your men?”
McBride’s earlobe itched, and he rubbed it absently. “I don’t know. After that toast last night, they’re going to be expecting you and me to make some kind of official announcement.”
“We could say it was just to cover for me and Renner.”
“Because I’ve done that before.” It had possibilities. McBride thought most of his men would believe it but not Caleb. Even if he did, he would be furious that McBride had lied to him again. “We’ve lied to one another so many times. What’s so ironic is that we both did it to protect the other. Well, until this last time when I just wanted to close that door permanently.”
“Why did you want to do that?”
“I thought if Caleb was no longer an option I would automatically see you as suitable.”
“Suitable?”
“It’s not the most romantic term in the world, is it?”
“Not in the least.” Quintus finger combed his spiky hair. “
Suitable
is better than
adequate
, I suppose.”
“Tell me about you and Renner.”
“There’s not much to tell.” Quintus shrugged. “He knelt down beside me out there on the road and I just—that was it. I wanted him. I’d never even drank from a man until Renner.”
“You didn’t?” McBride was stunned. Once his teeth erupted at around age sixteen, he was allowed access to slammers. Feeding was conducted under the watchful eyes of his wards, but he was still drinking directly from humans. Before then, he’d taken sustenance from bags, but he’d never liked it. No one did. They all talked incessantly about when they were going to get their teeth and be able to sink them into a real, live man.
“No. There was something…unwholesome about the whole idea to me.”
“What about your wards?”
“They said it happens sometimes, that a gentryman doesn’t have the urge to feed from humans. Even though I was an exact replica of my father and his father before him, the cloning process doesn’t clone personality.” Quintus rubbed his extended teeth with his fingertip. “They didn’t even erupt until Renner was close.”
“So he was your first.”
“And hopefully only.”
“I was Caleb’s first. The first to drink from him.” McBride’s teeth slipped past his gums when he recalled his first drink of Caleb. “I’d never confused blood and lust until then. It was something about him. His scent, the feel of his massive body surrendering—all of it—everything about him just pushed me into this intensity that I was totally unfamiliar with and woefully unprepared for.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” Quintus touched the scar on his neck that Renner had given him, making McBride hunger for a scar of his own. “I had never wanted to feed, but then Renner was leaning over me, tending to my injury, and my teeth just exploded out of my gums. What shocked me was that didn’t hurt. I always imagined it would, but it just itched and then my belly rumbled.”
“I should have known when I saw you feeding from him that there wasn’t any hope for us.”
“It was that obvious?”
“There was a look in your eye, something that I couldn’t really understand until now.”
“What?”
“You looked surprised. I thought that was strange, but now I understand why you were. You hadn’t ever fed, and you’re, what?” McBride considered his harsh features. He thought they probably made him look older than he really was. “Thirty?”
“Twenty-eight.” Quintus rubbed his hand over his unshaved cheeks and chin. “I’ve been told I look older.”
“It’s all the hard angles of your face.” McBride touched his own face and found his was feeling pretty grizzled. “I don’t even want to know how old I look today. But anyway, now I know why you had that look. It also explains why Renner was so jumpy.”
“He thought you were going to pounce at any moment and kill him for stealing your mate.”
“Did he tell you what happened?” At Quintus’s baffled look, McBride offered, “I accidently walked in on him masturbating. Since there aren’t any locks, it was bound to happen eventually. Normally, I knock and wait to be granted entrance, but I was avoiding Caleb, and—anyway, I thought that was why he was so nervous around me.”
“Because he was embarrassed?”
“Yeah. Nothing like being caught with your leather gear on and your cock in your hand.” McBride laughed lightly and then realized Quintus’s brows were so high they were practically running into his hairline. “You didn’t know about his—oh.”
“Don’t worry. It was bound to come up sooner or later.” Quintus sighed. “I guess everyone keeps secrets.”
“I guess we do. But that doesn’t mean we have to keep on keeping them.”
“So you are going to tell everyone the truth?”
McBride rose to his feet. “Lies got me into this mess, so maybe the truth will get me out.”
Renner waited in the extra bedroom for Quintus to return. He paced for a while, and then he sat still, but he found neither posture gave him any relief. He was dying to know what was happening just down the hall from him, but he didn’t dare get up to go look. If he walked in at the wrong moment, he could ruin everything. After what felt like forever, he opened the door to the room he was in, poked his head out into the hall, and listened intently. When he didn’t hear anything, he resumed his pacing.
“Well, at least they aren’t yelling.”
But then he had a horrible image of them rolling around together in the bed. Rather than arguing, McBride was claiming Quintus with his big, hairy body, and then he’d kill Renner to end the bloodbond.
That didn’t sound at all like the master he knew and loved.
“Love?” Renner considered that word. He knew without a doubt that he loved Quintus, but he didn’t think he loved anyone else. Well, his brothers, of course. He loved them but not the way he loved his mate. And McBride was similar to his brothers in that he trusted him. He also looked up to him. So Renner decided that he could love McBride. There was nothing wrong with that. But he didn’t want him to take his mate. If Renner had to fight for Quintus, he would. He wouldn’t like it, but that wouldn’t stop him from doing what he—
The bedroom door slowly opened, making Renner shoot to his feet. He was expecting just about anything but found he was surprised to see Quintus. And he was smiling.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
Quintus had just barely gotten the door closed when Renner plastered himself against him. Relief made his body feel loose and comfortable again. But when Quintus eased him back and insisted they needed to talk, he tightened right back up.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Not exactly. Just—why didn’t you tell me McBride walked in on you?”
“Oh, that.” Renner knew he was blushing because his face felt all kinds of hot. “I was embarrassed.”
“That he caught you touching yourself or the way you were doing it?”
“He told you?” Renner felt violated anew.
“It wasn’t like he was doing it to hurt you. He thought that was why you were so jumpy around him. In a way, it was a blessing. Had he not interrupted you, he would have figured out much sooner what was going on between us.”
“Is that why he was in your bed?”
“He wanted to talk to me.” Quintus kissed the back of Renner’s hand, tugging him over to the bed where they sat side by side. “He wanted to clear the air and state his intentions, but when I didn’t come home, he knew.”
“And he wasn’t mad?”
“I think he was disappointed.” Quintus wrapped his arm around Renner, pulling him so he rested his head against Quintus’s shoulder. “He thought if we became mates he could bring back the way things used to be.”
“Before the virus?”
“Before the collapse, yes. It was a nice idea, but he knew it wasn’t ever going to happen. But it’s hard to let go of a dream.”
Renner nodded. He had lots of dreams, and even though he was too afraid to share them still, he wasn’t ready to let go of them, either.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” Renner lifted his head from Quintus’s shoulder so they could look at one another while they talked.
“About what you like.”
“I like a lot of things. I could give you a list.”
“About what you like in bed.”
A dozen excuses came to mind, but Renner didn’t want to lie. “I thought it would upset you. I didn’t want you to think I was interested in you only because you look stern.”
“Stern?”
“Sometimes you do. Like now because you haven’t shaved and you’re all disheveled.”
“And you want me to be stern with you?”
“Sometimes.” Renner lowered his voice along with his face. He felt weird talking about his sexual fantasies. “But you don’t have to. I won’t try to make you be something that—”
“Please stop.” Quintus cut him off with a kiss. “I don’t even know what you like, so I can’t really say no.”
“I like the idea of being compelled.”
“Explain.” Quintus rose and grasped Renner’s hand, tugging him to a standing position and then leading him out of the room and down the stairs.
“What are you doing?”
“I think I’ll enjoy this conversation more if we’re over at your house and you can show me
and
tell me.”
Renner’s immediate response was to shake his head and beg off, but he changed his mind. They were bloodbonded mates now. He had to be honest, or they simply weren’t going to work. “You’re not going to laugh at me, are you?”
“No.” Quintus frowned at him. Since the sun was high, it cast dark shadows across his face, turning his looks from stern to severe. “I wouldn’t ever laugh at you over something so personal. You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”
“No.” Renner would never mock his mate.
“So we’re in agreement.”
As they crossed the yard, Renner surreptitiously looked around for McBride.
“He’s in his room.”
“How did you know who I was looking for?”
“Because you’re slumped over like you’re expecting to be struck.” Quintus kissed his hand right out in the open.
For some insane reason, Renner expected McBride to spring out and scream while all his brothers threw rocks at him.
“Relax.” Quintus opened the door to his house. “I’m telling you everything is fine.”
Renner wanted to believe him, but he thought it was going to take some time before he really accepted that Quintus was his. “But won’t McBride be lonely?”
“I hope not.” Quintus kept right on pulling Renner’s hand until they were in his bedroom. “Now show me.”
“Show you?”
“The items you use on yourself. The ones you want me to use on you.” Quintus looked at his reflection in the mirror across from Renner’s bed. “I think I can embrace the idea of being a brutal man.”
“Not brutal.”
“No?”
“Stern. Harsh. Demanding. But you wouldn’t ever do anything to really hurt me.”
“I wouldn’t.” Quintus kissed him then urged him toward the closet while he took a seat on the bed.
Renner decided to start with the tamest things he owned, so he pulled out the leather gauntlets. When Quintus didn’t balk at those, he pulled more items out of the back of his closet. Each time Quintus took an interest without mocking him, Renner became emboldened. When he noticed Quintus was becoming aroused, he realized they were compatible in this way, too. He didn’t think it was possible, but he was even happier.