“You wanted Jonas dead, or you would go.”
“I did go.”
“Yet you came right back.”
“You’re leaving out the invasion of angry slammers.” Caleb put his hands on his hips, drawing attention to his form.
Matching his stance, McBride softly pointed out, “They’re gone now.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“Of course not.” As much as Caleb leaving would make everything so much easier for McBride, he realized the foolishness of such a request. “You’re strong. You can fix things—we need you. But you need to keep your place, Caleb.”
“My place?”
“You threatened Jonas. And now I’m not so sure you won’t do something against Quintus.”
Caleb’s eyes and mouth rounded. “I have a legitimate concern with Jonas.”
“That you dropped when you realized there was nothing for you out there.” McBride pointed in the general direction of the town. “As soon as you understood that you had things better here, you dropped your demand against Jonas.”
“I didn’t drop it.” Caleb looked toward the big house, his hatred clear. “But things are what they are. Killing my brother’s mate would leave him without someone to comfort him and offer him solace. Since those damn slammers have basically killed everyone they’ve encountered, including thralls, there aren’t a lot of good men left walking this planet.”
What he’d said was entirely true. McBride had had the same thoughts himself. “Like I said, I want you to stay. All of us need you, and I think you need us, too. But you have to get along and go along. I will do everything I can to find you a mate—”
“I want you.”
“A
suitable
mate. There won’t be any more disregard for the law on my land.”
“Law?” Caleb laughed. “Didn’t you listen to Karsten and Quintus? There is no more law anywhere around here. Everything has changed.”
“Not everything
has
to change.” McBride felt certain that if he kept to the true ways, he could eventually restore the town to a functioning society. “Right now there’s chaos, but if we keep to our traditions and refuse to tumble down into lawlessness, we can rebuild the world the way it ought to be.”
“How is that going to happen when we’re it?” Caleb spread his arms as if he were encompassing every man on the ranch. “This is the last of mankind. Everyone who is alive right now is the end. At least on this planet. There won’t be any more men made when there aren’t any more men to make them.”
McBride had all the same thoughts, and he was certain many others had, too. “We don’t know that the Genetics Board is disbanded.”
“Do you really think they’re huddled up somewhere cranking out more men on top of the mess they’ve already made?”
“As unlikely as it seems, yes. I have to have faith that we can put everything back together.”
“If you really want to stick to the old ways, then why haven’t you done something about Ollie and Jonas?”
McBride realized he couldn’t pick and choose which laws he was going to enforce. If he didn’t think it was right for one man to form a relationship outside his class, then the same should be true for all men. As much as he wanted to put himself on the side of law and order, he couldn’t let them stand if he was going to paint himself as the leader of the old ways.
“Perhaps I should send them away.” Even as he spoke, he knew it wasn’t right. As a group, they needed them, but also McBride felt he owed them. Jonas had proven himself to be a powerful organizer and a man who wasn’t afraid to defend the farm. Ollie had shown the same, and as an added bonus he could cook. Right now, he was the only one who could. Exiling either man or the both of them was foolish.
“If I can forgive Jonas, then surely you can let them stay.”
“Tell me about that, Caleb. When did you have this change of heart regarding Jonas?”
“I don’t have to tell you my mind.”
“And yet you insist on knowing mine.”
Caleb grimaced. “He stood in front of Ollie.”
“You mean when I went down and he thought you would hurt your own brother?”
“Yeah. That’s when I changed my mind. Happy?” Caleb turned away.
“It was more than that.” There was simply no way that Caleb forgave Jonas so easily. Unless the issue had never been about Jonas in the first place. Perhaps McBride wasn’t the only one telling lies.
“When I told everyone about them, he didn’t deny it. He was proud. I thought he’d be ashamed. I thought—he didn’t behave the way I thought he would.” Caleb shook his head. “And you aren’t at all the man I thought you were.”
“Me?”
“All this law-abiding crap is just a way for you to push me away again.”
“You pushed
me
away after relentlessly pursing me.” McBride had practically gotten down on his knees and it still wasn’t good enough for Caleb. “Something profound caused you to reject me, and I want to know what it was.”
Caleb was silent for so long McBride didn’t think he was going to answer, or if he did, he would only tell him another lie. But he waited, hoping that they could at last hash things out and move forward.
“I already told you.”
“You told me a lie. A convincing lie because at the time I believed it, but it couldn’t have been true for you to so easily let it go.” McBride wanted to reach out to him but didn’t quite trust himself to do so. “Please tell me the truth. If you have any respect for me at all, you’ll be honest with me now.” McBride realized that if he wanted honesty, he should give it in return, but he was determined to go through with claiming Quintus. If he didn’t, he’d lose face and appear weak in front of his men, who needed to see his strength.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. If I left, you’d find one of your own kind, and then you’d be happy.”
“I find that hard to believe when you kept saying we were equals.” McBride considered how Caleb had never had a problem standing up to him. “Even out there on the road, you had no issue taking charge.”
“That was different. If I would have stepped back in deference to you, they would have started firing.”
As much as he didn’t want to agree, he saw that Caleb was right.
“I said that we were on the same footing because I guess I was hoping I’d believe it, but I didn’t. I don’t.” Caleb winced. “You’re a gentryman, and I’m a slammer. There’s no question that there’s lust between us, but do we really have what it takes to be together for the long haul? Sadly, I didn’t think so, especially when the world started falling apart. I suddenly realized that if you scratched your itch with me enough you’d eventually move on. But you just aren’t that kind of man, and I couldn’t settle for half measures.”
“You thought all I wanted was to fuck you?” McBride had never been so surprised in his life.
“Maybe.” Caleb lifted his hand, cutting McBride off before he could defend himself. “If you would have bloodbonded to me, I think you would have regretted it.”
Never had he ever thought Caleb left under some misguided notion he was protecting him. McBride thought he was going for his own selfish reasons. “I never would have regretting claiming you.”
“Don’t you think I know that now? You wanted to know how I felt then. Here it is. I wanted—I want what’s best for you. I thought it was me, and then I didn’t.”
“And now?”
Caleb looked out the window but didn’t seem to be seeing what was there. He appeared to be looking at the past and projecting that onto the murky future. “I don’t know if I’m right for you, but I know Quintus isn’t.”
What astonished McBride was that he agreed wholeheartedly with Caleb. McBride thought they’d spent all their time at cross purposes when the fact was they’d been very much in sync. He’d loved Caleb enough to let him go, but he felt too trapped by his own lies to claim him now. It was a mess. McBride saw no way to get out of it without completely losing face in front of his men.
“If you love him, or think that you really
can
love him, I won’t ever come between the two of you.” Caleb moved across the floor until he was standing a breath away from McBride. With him so close, McBride could smell that scent that always seemed to cling to him. Spice and soap and a light sheen of sweat. It was all things masculine and powerful. McBride wanted to find the source of that essence on Caleb and spend hours licking the spot. “Just tell me that you honestly want him.”
Determined to end their relentless back-and-forth, McBride told Caleb the one thing that would shatter any hope he still clung to. “I fell in love with him the moment I claimed him.”
The look of devastation on Caleb’s face confirmed his blow had landed and utterly destroyed any chance for a future reconciliation.
Renner woke with the scent of Quintus on his bedding and body, but the man himself was gone. He’d stayed as long as he dared last night, but he didn’t think the way for McBride to find out about them was to discover his potential mate in another man’s bed. So Quintus had dressed and left after a dozen passionate kisses.
Even with him across the yard in the big house, Renner felt him. Such was the nature of a strong bloodbond. Renner shivered and pulled the covers up to his neck. The remembrance of his love’s blood made him smile and grow erect in a simultaneous flush of excitement. Renner couldn’t remember how many times he’d pictured the moment when he would claim his mate with his mouth, but the taste of Quintus put all his daydreams to shame.
“He was luscious.”
Rather than attend to his arousal with his hand, Renner got out of bed and ignored his erection. He’d much rather wait for Quintus. It seemed a shame to let any of his lust go to waste now that he had someone he could share everything with.
Well, not quite.
He hadn’t yet come clean to his master, so he couldn’t really share everything with Quintus. If that really were the case, then his mate would still be in his bed. Although, if he were, Renner doubted his feet would have hit the floor this early.
Humming to himself, Renner went through his usual morning routine. He showered, groomed, ate, and then he was out the door, heading toward the garden. When he stepped onto his porch, the last thing he expected to see was Caleb standing there, arms crossed and anger turning his face red.
“It’s about time you got your ass up.” Caleb pointed to the garden. “There’s a row of weeds with your name on it.”
Rather than argue or point out that Caleb wasn’t the boss of everyone, Renner slid past him and hustled toward the garden. On his way, he looked at the porch of the big house, but he didn’t see Quintus. He frowned but then let it go. He hadn’t gotten into his own bed until late, so he probably wasn’t up yet. As Renner looked around, he realized neither was McBride.
Apprehension tightened his muscles as he joined everyone else in the garden. A cursory head count told him that everyone was here but Quintus and McBride. While he was weeding a fresh row, he kept looking up at the big house. The shutters were up, but he couldn’t see into the windows since they were clean and reflected back the yard and sky. Renner knew the only way he was going to find out what was going on was to go into the big house and see for himself.
As soon as Caleb disappeared into the shed, Renner excused himself under the guise of checking on his patient. It was true only up to a point. What he was really doing was checking on his mate. Renner had always thought when he took that step he would be overjoyed, but he was terrified. He’d never been all that good at keeping secrets. Even with his diligent closing of his drapes and hiding his leather clothing away, most of his brothers knew he had a kink. Not that he cared, just that they ribbed him about it. But then again, they all ribbed each other about everything. All but for Caleb. He was too mean to tease.
When Renner stepped into the foyer, he heard the mantle clock chime nine times, reminding him it was indeed a very late start when he was normally up at six. He closed the door behind him and then stood, listening. Nothing. Concerned but unsure why, he went up the stairs as fast as he could without running and then moved swiftly down the hall to Quintus’s room.
Finding the door open sparked more fear across his nerves. As he crossed the threshold and looked toward the bed, he was expecting almost anything other than McBride. When he realized he was asleep, Renner backed away from the door. He was just turning to go back outside when he saw Quintus down the hall.
Rather than speak, Quintus waved him over. Renner ran as quietly as he could to the room where Quintus was. As soon as he was inside, Quintus closed the door and embraced him.
“What is he doing in your bed?” Renner couldn’t decide if he was more angry or afraid.
“I don’t know.” Quintus looked as worried as Renner felt. His hair was a mess of tangles, making him appear disheveled and yet still so handsome. “When I came back last night, he was in there.”
“He knows.” Renner sagged against Quintus, who held him up.
“I guess he fell asleep waiting for me.”
“What are we going to do?” Renner wanted to run, but where could they go? The slammers who’d tried to come onto the farm the other day had made it clear that any gentryman in town would be tossed in the stocks and used until he died. Just the thought of that happening to his handsome mate terrified Renner, tightening his grip on him.