Reunited with the Cowboy (12 page)

She quietly left the room, and as she came down the stairs, Keira called out to her.

“Mom and Dad don't mind taking care of Adana, just like I figured. Meet us at the corrals in ten minutes. Don't be late.”

Heather hurried down the stairs to stop her, but Keira was already out the door.

“You look a little flushed, honey,” her mother said, as she carefully rolled up the plastic bags to be reused. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I'm fine,” she quickly returned. “What did the specialist say about your collar?”

Her mom sighed and sat back in the chair as Heather's dad gave her a quick kiss hello, then picked up some of the cans to put away.

“I'll be wearing it for at least another month. So disheartening. The break isn't setting as quickly as he had hoped. But at least it's getting somewhere. How were things here while we were gone?”

Was it Heather's imagination or was her mother looking at her a little too keenly? With a little too much expectation? What had Keira said to her?

“John wasn't feeling well, so not a whole lot.”

But Heather couldn't help stealing a glance toward the living room, where she had opened her heart to John. Where they had shared a kiss.

Where things had changed between them.

“Cows got fed?” Monty asked as he returned to the table empty-handed.

“Yes. Because John wasn't feeling that well, I helped him the one time.”

“Good.” Monty paused a moment, watching her, a faint frown creasing his forehead. “And otherwise everything went okay?”

“Yes.” Heather sensed an undertone to his question and thought of what John had told her about her father's implied warning.

“And now you're going riding?”

“If that's okay?”

“Of course it is. Just make sure that...that you're careful.” He held her eyes a beat.

Heather paused a moment, feeling like a little girl again, waiting for some punishment to be meted out.

“Oh, Monty, don't be such a father. She'll be fine, won't you, Heather?” her mother asked with a bright smile. “Don't want to keep John waiting.” She gave her a wink, and Heather sensed that her parents had a fair idea of what had happened while they were gone.

Trouble was, while her mom seemed perfectly happy about it, she sensed her father was not.

* * *

“Everything good?”

John stopped by the stall as Heather tightened the cinch of her saddle, then lowered her stirrups, her face turned away from him. When she'd joined them at the corrals she had seemed uptight. For a moment he'd thought she was coming to tell them that she wasn't joining them, but then she had gotten her tack out of the shed and taken it to where Rowdy was tied.

“Just fine,” Heather said, stroking Rowdy's mane as she checked his headstall. She flashed John a smile, but then looked away.

He was fairly sure that her reserve had everything to do with meeting Sandy's parents in town. He and Heather were moving toward something. And he didn't want to lose what was growing between them. Didn't want anything to jeopardize it.

So he took a chance and caught her by the arm. “Whatever Kim might have said, it doesn't matter,” he stated quietly.

Heather's features softened. Her smile gave him hope.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

He moved a bit closer and stroked her cheek with his finger. “I'm glad you came,” he said. “I'm looking forward to this ride.”

When she returned his smile, he felt a settling in his soul. He had to trust that God had brought Heather back into his life for a reason. That the feelings that he knew were growing between them would go somewhere.

He also had to believe that Monty would agree to take him on as a partner. Her dad had to know that John could take care of Heather and provide a future for her and Adana.

He pushed the nagging thoughts aside. For now they were going for their first ride out into the hills, and he was determined to enjoy it.

He walked over to his horse, Clyde, checked the cinch once more, then climbed into the saddle.

Tanner and Keira went ahead and John let his horse lag until Heather and Rowdy caught up. They rode side by side in companionable silence, the warmth of the sun and the gentle plodding of the horses' hooves on grass still soft from the snowmelt creating a soothing rhythm. Whenever John glanced at Heather, he saw a look of peace and contentment on her face.

“I missed this so much,” she said as they made their way across the pasture toward the hills behind the ranch house. Rowdy shook his head, his bridle clanking, and she reached out to stroke his neck.

“Don't imagine you had much chance to go riding in New York,” John teased.

“Sometimes I would go to Central Park and pet the horses there,” she said, giving him a shy smile. “Talk to the hansom cab drivers. Horse talk.”

“Mitch ever go with you?”

Heather grew silent. Her peaceful expression faded and John felt like kicking himself. Why did he seem to have this obsessive need to find out about her and Mitch?

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean to make you upset.”

Heather shook her head. “No. You didn't. Not really.” She looked away a moment, as if gathering her thoughts, then her gaze returned to him. “I don't like talking about Mitch because I've been trying to forget that time. I'm not...not proud of that part of my life...”

Again she hesitated and again John had to stifle a flicker of curiosity. What had happened to her while she was married to Mitch?

“I don't really want to talk about him,” she said. “Not yet.”

It was the “yet” that sparked hope. The imperceptible promise of other confidences and a deepening relationship.

“We can talk about Adana, if you prefer.”

“She's such a sweetheart,” Heather said, her grin restoring his good spirits. “She certainly has a way of working herself into someone's heart.”

“She does. In spite of how hard it was after she was born, what I had lost, holding her created a fierce love that surprised me.”

Heather turned to him, the spring breeze tossing her hair around her face. “You must have had such mixed emotions, taking her home and leaving Sandy behind.”

John nodded slowly, thinking back to those difficult months after Sandy's death. In spite of the passage of time, he felt his throat thicken. He blinked away tears, then Heather moved Rowdy closer to Clyde and stroked John's shoulder.

“Again, I'm so sorry. Sandy was such a good person. She should have been able to hold her baby. To see Adana growing up.” To his surprise, Heather's voice broke and her grasp tightened on his shoulder. “I wish I could say the right thing. Do the right thing.”

“You already have,” he said. He caught her hand and squeezed it, then his horse moved away from hers and their hands were pulled apart. But the moment had helped bring them closer together.

“Hey, you two, this was supposed to be a ride,” Keira called back to them, turning to grasp the cantle of her saddle. “Not some sedate stroll in the pasture.”

Heather gave John a quick smile, then pulled her hat lower on her head.

“I'll take that challenge,” she cried to her sister. She nudged Rowdy and he broke into a canter, then a gallop.

John held his horse back, appreciating the sight of Heather riding ahead of him, her hair flying, her movements easy, fluid, in tune with her horse.

This was the real Heather, he thought with a sense of satisfaction as he nudged his own horse into a canter. This was the Heather he remembered and had loved.

Though memories of Sandy lingered, he thought she would have approved of him moving on with his life.

And in that moment John knew exactly what it was he wanted and what he needed to do.

* * *

This was freedom, Heather thought—having wind in her face and Rowdy's hooves beating out a happy rhythm. Pure, unadulterated freedom.

Exhilaration hummed through her as the ground sped past, Rowdy's hooves tossing up huge clumps of dirt behind her. The Montana sunshine beat down on her, the wind snapped her hair away from her face and in spite of the speed, she was in control.

She raced down the pasture along the fence, feeling as if she was shedding the last fragments of her past. As if Rowdy's speed and the wind whistling past her were brushing away the memories.

But as she rode, she saw they were getting closer to the gates leading to the upper pastures.

Reluctantly, she pulled back on the reins, slowing Rowdy to a canter. The horse shook his head, showing his reluctance to stop, but Heather stayed firm and he moved from the canter into a trot.

Posting in time to his movements, Heather slowly brought him to a full stop. She leaned back in the saddle, taking a minute to catch her breath and enjoy the utter peace of the moment. The breeze dancing through the trees and the faint chirping of warblers and sparrows were the only sounds in the stillness of the day. She turned Rowdy toward the others, catching snatches of conversation as they crested a hill, heading toward her.

John waved to her, then nudged his horse closer. Rowdy's ears pricked up and his head lifted.

“You look flushed,” John said when he joined her, his own horse breathing hard. “Out of shape?”

“Maybe a bit, but so excited and happy.” She gave him a wide smile, her heart full. “I haven't felt that free for years.”

He leaned back in his saddle, resting his hands on the cantle as he glanced over the field. “That's all well and good, but it seems you've made some divots in the hay field,” he teased.

“I'll replace them,” she said, still smiling. “But I'm sure by the time the cows get out here you won't even see the evidence of my race with the wind.” She pulled her hat off, ran her hands through the tangle that was her hair, and dropped her hat back on. “But I'm happy to find out that even after all these years, Rowdy's still got it,” she said, reaching down to rub his heaving sides. He snorted, shifting his feet. “You want to go again, buddy?” she asked him, smoothing his tousled mane. “You miss racing?”

“The real question is, do you?” John asked.

Heather shook her head. “I don't miss running around from rodeo to rodeo, but sometimes I miss the exhilaration of competing,” she said, gathering up the reins. “I enjoyed pushing myself, pushing Rowdy, trying to see how close I could cut the barrels, how quick I could make the turnaround.”

“You were good at it. I was always surprised you didn't take it further.”

Heather shrugged, trying not to let regret take over. “I might have, if Mom and Dad hadn't pushed me to go to college.”

“You know, when I see you riding, I feel like I see the real Heather,” John murmured.

“What do you mean?”

“I see a smile on your face now that wasn't there when you first came home.”

“There's other reasons,” Heather stated with a coy grin.

“I'm glad for that,” he said. He took her hand, and pressed a gentle kiss on the back of it. “You are precious to me, you know.”

His words spilled over the dark places of her life like a waterfall. She curled her hand around his cheek. “Thanks,” she said.

“You have your own specific strengths and talents. I think you should find a way to use them.”

“Like doing that clinic your mom was talking about?”

“It's a thought. There's also a growing demand for trained barrel-racing horses. That could be another possibility.”

Heather felt as if God was gently pointing her in a different direction than she'd been heading when she'd come here. Ever since she had heard about the job from John's mother, the idea had lingered in her mind.

“I think I would love the work. I just don't know if it would pay enough.”

“That's important to you?”

“I need to be able to take care of myself,” she said. She wanted to be a survivor. Not a victim, as she'd been in New York.

“I'd like to think I can help you there,” he said quietly.

The import of his words hung heavy between them. Her heart fluttered, moved by his offer. Did she dare accept what she thought he was suggesting? It would mean changing her plans. Securing her future with his.

Would she be able to do that? Would he be willing, once he found out everything? She knew eventually she would have to tell him all the sordid details of her life. She wasn't sure she was ready for that yet.

“What's wrong?” John asked.

Confusion rushed through her, even as she looked at him. He had always been so important to her, and now, as they spent time together, as he was slowly weaving his way into her life again, she knew that leaving would be difficult. She wouldn't leave with her heart intact.

She looked at him, wondering what she dared tell him. Wondering how she could. “Let me think about it,” she whispered, pulling away.

His eyes seemed to pierce her soul, as if trying to see what she was holding back from him.

She heard her sister call out, and glanced up as Keira and Tanner drew closer.

“You're looking very somber,” Keira said. “Rowdy not performing up to his usual standards?”

“He's faster than your old nag,” Heather retorted, jumping at the chance to tease her sister and focus on something else.

“You'd like to think so,” Keira declared. Then she dug her heels into her horse and took off. Heather, never one to turn down a challenge, nudged Rowdy in the flanks. It was all the encouragement he needed. In ten strides they had caught up to Keira. Four more and they were past them.

And Heather let the troubles that clung to her brush away with the wind that blew over her face.

She would deal with them another time. For now, she was free.

Chapter Twelve

“I
have to say, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.” Keira stood at the table in the church hall, looking around the festively decorated room, full of women who had come out for her bridal shower. Green and yellow paper puffs hung from the ceiling and mini lights sparkled from some trees that Heather and Monty had placed in buckets. A pile of gifts, now unwrapped, spilled over a table beside them. All a harbinger of the wedding that would take place in early summer.

Heather smoothed out a wrinkle in her dress, glancing around at all the ladies from her seat beside Keira. Many of the faces were familiar, a few were new. All were smiling as Keira spoke.

“I'm so thankful for the support of the community and I'm so thankful for all the lovely gifts.” Keira paused and Heather caught a surprising shimmer in her eyes. “It's overwhelming and I'm thankful that God has brought us all here together. Living here is a real blessing, both to me and to Tanner.” Keira turned to Heather and placed her hand on her shoulder. “I also want to thank Heather, as well as my friend Brooke, for helping Mom with the shower. It means a lot to have my sister here beside me.” Her hand tightened on Heather's shoulder.

“And I want to extend an invitation to all of you to come visit Tanner and me at our home, once we have it all set up after the wedding.”

After a round of applause followed her comments, Keira sat down again, slowly exhaling, as if she'd been holding her breath the entire time.

“You okay?” Heather asked.

“Just glad the speech is done.” Keira took a sip of her coffee. “But I was glad to have you beside me. You did such a great job with the baking and the decorating. Thanks again.” She beamed as she looked around the hall once more. “It looks so beautiful.”

“I enjoyed doing it and I would gladly do it again.”

Heather had been working until late last night, baking and frosting cookies and squares. This afternoon she, Monty and John had met Brooke at the hall, and they had decorated and gotten most of the food set up. It was worth it to see Keira's look of surprise and delight when she'd seen the place.

And it had been even more worth it when John had caught her in a corner of the kitchen and stolen a few kisses.

“You might have to help me come up with some ideas for decorating the hall for the wedding,” Keira said. “I'm still not sure what I want to do.”

“Really? I can't imagine that,” Brooke chimed in from her seat across the table. She closed the notebook she'd been writing in, noting gifts and the names of their givers for thank-you cards. “I think I've had my wedding planned since I was a little girl.”

“And I see from your Pinterest account that you're still going with the pink-and-black theme,” Heather teased.

“It's very hip again,” Brooke returned with a grin. “What about you? You still have your dream wedding planned? I seem to remember peach being a favorite color.”

“Been there, done that,” Heather said, thinking back to the hastily put together wedding to Mitch. Monty, Ellen and Mitch's mother had been the only family members in attendance. Heather had preferred it that way.

“I'm sorry,” Brooke said with a lopsided smile. “I wasn't thinking.”

Heather held up her hand to dismiss her concerns. “Don't worry about it, sweetie. I don't know if another wedding is in my future.” She caught Keira's raised eyebrows and knew her sister was thinking about her and John.

Her hand touched her lips as if to feel the kiss John had given her only a few hours ago.

“I think it might be a strong possibility,” Keira said with a mischievous grin.

“Really? What's going on?” Brooke leaned forward, her eyes bright with anticipation. “Is it John? Are you two back together again? I saw how he looked at you today.”

“Right now, the focus is Keira and her upcoming wedding,” Heather said, putting the brakes on that train of thought. “We're not talking about peach-themed weddings.”

“Who's having a peach-themed wedding?” Marnie Giesbrook stopped by the table, her jean jacket slung over her shoulder. Marnie and her husband, Seth, ran the Feed and Seed, and as long as Heather could remember she had never seen Marnie in anything but plaid shirts and blue jeans. “I thought you were going with green and yellow?” she said to Keira.

“It's nothing. Just girl talk,” Heather's sister replied.

“Girl talk about a certain George Bamford?” Marnie said with an exaggerated wink Brooke's way. Brooke's attraction to the laconic owner of the Grill and Chill was no secret, but Brooke blushed, anyway.

“We're not talking about George anymore,” she said, looking down at the notebook she had been writing in.

“She's done with him right now,” Keira said in an exaggerated whisper.

Marnie's loud bark of laughter echoed through the hall, catching a few people's attention. “I'm sure that will change the next time he pours you an extra cup of coffee without you asking,” she said, patting her on the shoulder.

Brooke gave her a wan smile, then got up, beckoning to Keira. “I need to go over the list of gifts with you.”

When they walked away, Marnie turned to Heather. “I hear that you might be sticking around?”

“Who did you hear that from?” she asked, puzzled. She hadn't been in town much, other than the day she and John had seen his and Sandy's parents.

“Paige Argall told me.”

“John's mom told you that?”

“She might have said that she was hoping you would stick around.” Marnie winked.

Heather couldn't help grabbing a quick glance across the hall to where Paige stood, talking with Laura McCauley, the church's organist. The secondhand comment nurtured a glimmer of hope that John's parents wouldn't be completely against John and her getting back together.

“Anyhow, based on that, I thought I would talk to you about a couple of riding clinics I want to start up,” Marnie was saying. “There's lots of girls who've been asking for 'em, but I don't have near the experience or expertise you do. I could have it at our arena. I know Seth's brother in Missoula was asking me about setting up some clinics around the state, too. You could be involved in that, as well. Pay isn't as much as you'd make modeling, but you could take on private clients, too. If you had a place to work with them, mind you.”

Heather weighed Marnie's words carefully. It was as if pieces of her life were suddenly fitting into place.

It seemed too good to be true. Working at what she had always loved and staying in Saddlebank.

“I'll think about it,” she said. Marnie gave her a quick nod, then left.

Heather noticed that one of the platters on the serving table was empty, and got up to fill it just as John's mother joined her at her table, Kim Panko right behind her.

“What do you think about Marnie's idea?” Paige said. “I know she has some good connections in the horse business. It could work out really well for you.”

“It sounds great,” Heather agreed. “I know I would love the work.”

“Really?” Kim asked with a questioning lift of her eyebrow. “I can't see you working with horses and young girls anymore. You seem more the city type now.”

Heather glanced down at the high heels, skinny jeans and chiffon top she had worn to the shower. Sure, her outfit looked more like it belonged in an upscale Fifth Avenue showroom, but it wasn't an indicator of who she really was.

“Looks can be deceiving,” she murmured.

“I think you look lovely,” Paige said with an encouraging smile. “And I think you should seriously consider Marnie's offer.” She held Heather's eyes for a beat. “It would be lovely to have you back in Saddlebank.”

Heather's heart jumped as the implications of what Paige was saying set in. As if she was giving her and John her blessing.

“Thank you,” she said. “That means more than you can know.”

Paige gave her a slow nod, then looked past her as Heather's mother joined them. “Ellen, this was a lovely shower. You must be so pleased.”

Heather's mom slipped her arm around Heather's waist and gave her a gentle hug. “I am. Heather did an amazing job with all of this.”

“She's an amazing girl,” Paige said. “She has a good eye. I remember that time she helped me paint my bedroom. I think you picked out the colors.” Paige turned to her. “They were so cheerful.”

“Or very bold,” Kim said.

“I thought it looked nice,” Ellen interjected.

“Russ certainly thought so, which surprised me. I thought he wouldn't like them.” Paige gave her another smile. “But once he found out you had picked them, he thought they were beautiful. Of course, Russ always had a tender spot for you.”

“Excuse, me, Paige, I think we should get going,” Kim said.

“Sorry, Kim. Just reminiscing. But you're right.” Paige gave Heather a quick hug. “So good to see you again. I'm so glad...” She paused, then shook her head, her smile widening. “Never mind. I'm just glad you're back.”

But as she patted her gently on the cheek, Heather couldn't help wondering what she had been going to say.

“Thanks for everything,” Kim said to Ellen as she slipped her coat on. Her eyes flicked to Heather, then away. “I've been trying to contact John, but he hasn't returned my calls today. I was hoping that I could come to the ranch and pick up Adana. We missed her a lot while we were gone, and would love to keep her for a couple of days. Maybe you could tell him to let me know if that works?”

Ellen nodded. “Of course. I'll get him to call you.”

“Thank you so much. I truly appreciate that. And I want you to know that I'm praying for you. Praying that you will recover soon.”

“Thank you so much, Kim. That is so kind of you.”

Kim smiled at her, then glanced again at Heather, her smile fading just a bit. As she walked away, Heather couldn't rid herself of the notion that the woman's attitude toward her hadn't changed and probably wouldn't. It shouldn't matter to her, she told herself, and yet it did. Kim was Adana's grandmother, and Adana was John's daughter. And John was becoming more and more important in Heather's life.

More people started leaving, each saying their goodbyes, many of them telling Heather how happy they were to see her. The warm welcome eased away the feelings Kim Panko's veiled disapproval had created.

Half an hour later, the last person had finally left and Monty had arrived to help take decorations down. The gifts were packed away in the cars and the kitchen was cleaned up.

“I think we got everything,” Heather announced, setting the last container of leftover blondies in the back of Keira's car.

“Let's go, then,” her sister said, turning the key.

Heather climbed in, closed the door and let out a loud sigh.

“You sound tired,” Keira commented, as she pulled out of the church parking lot.

“No, no. It was fun and I am so glad I could help out. It's just...” Her thoughts shifted back to Kim. “I'm never very comfortable around Mrs. Panko. I don't think she liked me much when I was friends with Sandy, and that hasn't changed.”

“She's had a tough couple of years. Losing Sandy really took a lot out of her. After all, she was their only child.”

“I know that and I feel bad for her. I know I should have at least written to her when Sandy died, but I just didn't think she would appreciate it.”

“It's hard to lose a child. But she has a strong faith and the support of a community. She'll get through it.”

“I hope so,” Heather said. Keira turned at the grocery store, taking a different route out of town. Heather felt her stomach drop as they passed a too-familiar street.

“Stop a minute,” she said, touching Keira's arm. “Do you mind driving down this way?”

Her sister frowned, then slowed and turned onto the street Heather pointed out. They drove past a number of well-tended yards and houses, then past an empty field that still had some leftover hay bales lying out. Then the road went down toward the river and took a turn, and they ended up at a trailer park.

“Wait, isn't this—”

“Where I lived before I came to the ranch,” Heather said, looking around at the trailers. “I haven't seen it since I left. Never had any reason to come down here.”

“And Mom and Dad would never have let you.”

“Funny that I never visited my mother after I was adopted. She never asked to see me. Never asked for a visit.”

“Not the best mother, was she?”

Heather nodded. “I used to feel guilty that I didn't miss her more when I moved to the ranch.”

“What was there to miss?” Keira asked. “She wasn't a good person to you.”

Heather acknowledged her, then looked away from a place she had spent such a short time. “Thanks. I think I just needed a reminder.”

“Of what?”

“Of where I came from. Let's get out of here.”

Keira made a quick U-turn, then drove away. Heather gazed ahead, feeling as if she had put that part of her past behind her.

“So, I think the shower went well,” she said as they made the final turn onto the highway and headed back to the ranch.

Keira beamed from ear to ear. “It was a wonderful day. I'm so thankful for all you did,” she said. “Thanks again.”

“Glad to help.”

“Maybe someday I can do the same for you?”

The question hung between them, and Heather felt a flash of hope. Of possibilities.

“Maybe,” she said softly.

“I get the idea that things between you and John are coming to a good place.”

Heather thought of the moments they had shared the past few days and she wondered if she dared to change her plans for her future.

“They are. I think.”

“So what's the problem?”