Ride To The Edge (Lucifer's Saints MC) (Rough Riders MC Series Book 4) (20 page)

There were certain lines that weren’t meant to be crossed and Hardy was bypassing all of them in his sick quest for revenge on a man who was already dead and gone.

He pulled my hair to the side and kissed my neck. “I’m so sorry, so very fucking sorry that I did this to you. I don’t ever want you to leave the room still mad at me for what I’ve done wrong. You’re right and . . . sometimes I just can’t let shit go. But, baby, I can’t let you go either. Not ever so if you told me to jump off a cliff if it meant I’d die before you, I’d do it. I swear to God I would. Just don’t leave me. Don’t ever threaten to take my kids from me. You and them—you’re all I have in the world.”

“That’s not true, Dex. You have a whole family in Birch Tree not to mention Ronan and the club here. They will always have your back.”

“What good is the club or family if I don’t have my woman and children to share in the glory or pitfalls of my life? Do you think I would truly be whole without you as my ol’ lady by my side? Or my children in my life?”

The tears gathered in my eyes though I had no wish to cry and fell down my cheeks. I shook my head as I said, “I can’t continue to live like this, babe. You have to make up your mind. Either you’re going to do things the right way or you’re gonna go rogue but if you decide to make that decision then I want no part of it. I don’t want our children anywhere near it. You’ll get us all killed.”

Hardy turned me around harshly and his mouth connected with mine so brutally, I knew I would have a bruise but the moment he buried his tongue deep into my mouth, all thoughts of leaving him disappeared. All I could think about was how would I ever leave the man I loved and had made a commitment to? I didn’t break my word—it was my bond. That’s why it’d been so painful for me to have Jaden and Seth lie directly to my face and then do something entirely different.

Both had claimed to love me but all they’d done was use and discard me when I was no longer of any importance in their life.

True, Hardy was overly possessive, had too much passion to be contained in one person and loved me more than one person should ever love another but he’d never broken a promise that concerned me. He would lay his life on the line if it meant keeping me safe—this I had no doubt about. I never had to question his love, trust, devotion, respect or commitment to me because they were boundless.

That was part of the problem. Hardy would do anything for me and with me, there were no bounds of his feelings and emotions. He literally was crazy in love with me, and would do anything to keep me, even if it took scouring the earth and decimating a family that had nothing to do with one madman’s actions.

No one had ever felt like this about me before so I didn’t know how to react. I was on the defense when I should have been playing offense. I could talk him down but instead I was always threatening, goading, pushing him further into a corner until he felt like he had to show that he loved, adored and cared for me more than he did for himself or his own safety.

I’d caused him to be this way, and a small part of me hated myself for doing it. If I wanted us to last, I had to change my way of thinking the same way I was asking him to change his. This frightened me just as much—if not more—than it frightened him but it had to be done.

Our kiss ended just as abruptly as it began. “Take off your clothes.”

“Why?” he asked, his blue eyes bright with emotions that didn’t need words.

“Because,” I began as I tore off the tight t-shirt he was wearing, “we’re gonna fuck.”

“Damn, woman. You don’t have to ask me twice.”

W
hen Talia demanded we fuck, she wasn’t messin’ about.

We fucked all right. For almost half the damn day. My dick used all three of her holes more than once and I ate so much of her pussy, I felt like I was at a fucking buffet but we came together in such a deeply spiritual way that there was no way in hell, I could ever not love this woman.

She got me—every fucked up, scarred part of me that wasn’t on display for the world to see and I fucking had her. Pegged down to every goddamn insecurity she had about men, and relationships in general.

She never had any intention of ever leaving me but she also didn’t know what to do when I became overly possessive of her so I would have to put that shit on lockdown and stop trying to hold on so damn tight. She didn’t understand a man like me loving her unconditionally no matter what she did, how she acted, what she said or how she responded to my behavior.

I could never hurt a hair on her head but I wouldn’t allow her to walk out of my life either. That shit wasn’t gonna happen. I’d give her all the freedom in the world and she could commit the ultimate sin like fuck another man and I would still claim her as my own.

I’d never felt that way about anyone before. I didn’t even know how to handle the emotions I had for her because they were as new to me as they were to her. She was my entire fucking world—her and my kids. Without them, I was nothing. I knew that, and now she knew it too.

We lay in bed, exhausted. My dick was so fucking sore but it was worth it just to have her wrapped in my arms, her damp hair tangled with loose waves upon my sweaty chest. We both stunk of sex and our own bodily fluids but I was in sheer fucking heaven. This bitch was mine and I owned her: heart, mind, body and soul. No one would ever be able to have her the way I did because I’d branded her and I dared a motherfucker to try to take her away from me. He’d be one sorry son of a cunt who’d hurt like he never dreamed possible.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice hoarse from screaming my name so many times and from all the orgasms she’d had.

“How I’m gonna miss the fuck outta you while you’re gone for a month.” I kissed her forehead and allowed my lips to linger there, my nose inhaling the scent of her expensive shampoo and hair products.

“You’ll make do. You’ve got two free hands, don’t you?”

I slapped her ass playfully. “Yeah but it’s not quite the same as being inside your pussy or ass or mouth now is it?”

“Use some of my favorite lotion and get busy, fella. You’ll feel just like you’re inside of me.”

“It’s gonna take more than your lotion and my calloused palm to make me feel like I’m inside of you, love, but thanks for thinking about me.”

Talia laughed out loud. “My God, you are so crude but I don’t love you any less. Think of it as a way to spend more time with the kids, get to know Beatriz and Kassandra. Ask them to teach you how to feed Eden, how to rock her to sleep when she’s fussy, hold her when she’s insecure. She may look like you but she’s got a lot of me in her you know.”

It was my turn to laugh out loud. “Goddamn, Tal, I’m not a Neanderthal. I already know how to do all that shit. What do you think I did when I came home from pussy parties after I took a shower? You were usually passed out from being at the studio all day. I’d go into Kaelan’s room and just watch him rest while holding Eden in my arms. That’s probably why she doesn’t always go to sleep after a feeding. She was used to being in my arms for an hour or two, even after she did drift off to sleep. I’d hold her, inhale her scent and watch her sleep because she looked so fuckin’ peaceful. She made me feel like everything was right with the world. It was a great feelin’ . . . one I often didn’t want to let go of, not even at four in the morning.”

She slapped my chest. “You bastard. You’re the reason why she cries if I put her back in that extravagant fucking crib too soon after a feeding. I bet you Kassandra and Beatriz do it too. They probably hold her for an hour or so when all I want is to get some rest.”

“Who do you think I got it from? Kassandra was the first to tell me that she often didn’t like being on her own in the crib and sought the touch of another human being. There were nights I would find either her or Beatriz, fast asleep with Eden in their arms, wrapped in that damn contraption so she would be pressed against their breasts and could hear their heartbeats. It works you know. We all crave the touch of another. It’s a living thing—species, especially mammals—don’t like to be on their own.” I wrapped my arms around her and held her close.

“I see the beast wants to play,” she teased as my hard-on pressed into her stomach.

“Not yet. The beast is as beat up, sore and bruised as your beautiful pussy. He can chill a bit. I’m not eighteen anymore. You’ve worn me out—”

“I’ve worn you out? Motherfucker please! After you beat my pussy up like Mike and fucked my ass up like Ike, I’ve worn you out. I’ll be walking bowlegged for a goddamn week thanks to you.” Talia exclaimed indignantly.

“Yeah but you love me though, right?”

“Yes, you asshole, I love you.”

“Good, because bitch, I love you too. You and the kids—you’re my world, and I don’t think it’s possible to love three people as much I do all of you but you know what?”

She looked into my eyes, her pale green irises bright. “What?”

“Every day, I find myself loving all of you a little bit more. Who knew this fucked up heart of mine could carry so much warmth and emotion for anyone? I never felt it about myself, not ever, until I met you.” I kissed her nose and she laughed out loud. It was musical and lit up the room.

“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. You make me feel like the luckiest woman alive so I guess that makes us even.”

We stared at one another for what felt like forever before we burst into laughter together.

C
hurch had just let out as the guys and I all walked out only to find Catrin and Eve in the clubhouse. The Saint Slappers still around were busy cleaning the clubhouse while Chantal, Estelle, and Harley were busy making breakfast.

Hailey’s sister had decided to stick around after Winter’s Regret left on their month long tour and I had to admit it was nice having another decent woman around who wouldn’t fall to her knees and pull out a member’s cock at the most inopportune moments.

I didn’t know exactly what she and Razr’s status were; they acted like good friends rather than lovers but then again, maybe that’s what they both needed. They had this weird way of communicating where her seaweed green eyes would glance into his and they both seemed like they knew what the other was thinking.

She was a carbon copy of her father though her skin was tanned the perfect shade of brown, and her curly dark auburn hair almost reached mid-back. In fact, if each sibling didn’t share different combinations of their parents’ features, it would be hard to peg them as sisters at all because neither looked a damn thing like the other.

I stopped concentrating about Harley though the moment Eve and Catrin walked up to me. They both wore designer pants suits—Eve’s was gray while Catrin’s was a royal blue. Both had minimal makeup and their hair was coiffed to perfection. I had no idea how Eve was going to get away with allowing Catrin to go undercover. She couldn’t look like a chick from the wrong side of the tracks if she tried. Not with her creamy skin, doe-like features and innocence swirling in those hazel-blue eyes of hers.

“Hello Dex and Maarten,” Eve greeted with more warmth than usual.

The other guys left our area and headed to the bar to get served breakfast while we stood in the corner, not far from where we’d just held church.

“What’s up?” Pyro asked.

“Well, we’ve just gotten the go-ahead. As we speak, all the White Knight members are being rounded up,” she replied.

“That’s good news, right?”

Catrin nodded her head. “The problem is someone got word about the bust and told them. All we managed to catch were patched members but Stella and Brooklyn are in the wind. So are all the founding members who held positions on the Council. We don’t have any VPs, Sergeant-At-Arms, Road Captains, Secretaries or Treasurers. From either Brad or Nel’s charter clubs.”

“Shit!” I banged the wall with the palm of my hand in disgust.

“You think Mira said anything?” Eve asked.

Pyro’s ice blue eyes widened in shock. “Are you talking about my old lady? She’s fuckin’ laid up here in the clubhouse about to pop any moment. You wanna ask her? She’s in my room down the hall.”

“It was just a question,” Catrin replied calmly. “We don’t know how else they all managed to get away.”

“Maybe Nel never making it back to Black Oak was a sign somethin’ was up? Who the fuck knows what he told them before he came here. Not to mention Brad disappearing. It’s not like he’s in a room where he can call them and tell ‘em everything is okay. I’m sure Stella and Serra talk—they’re cousins aren’t they?” I offered in way of an explanation.

“Sisters,” a female voice corrected.

We turned to see a very pregnant Mira with a fashionable white peasant blouse and pale yellow maxi skirt holding a hand against her back as she walked toward us in a pair of daisy yellow flip-flops.

“Did your water break?” Pyro questioned nervously.

“Do you see a trail of liquid behind me? Course not.” She turned toward me, her ice blue eyes cold, almost murderous. “They’re not just dumb hicks you know. Jake woulda known somethin’ was up especially after she started going out with Quinn. They expected to lose me but they didn’t count on losin’ Marion. Believe me, my family is a lot like a cult. When shit starts to look bad, they prepare for the worse.”

“Is there anywhere they would go? They have to be someplace. Have they left the country?” Catrin inquired.

“All I know is they have a safe house or ranch of some kind. It’s in Montana or Wyoming—I get ‘em confused. Or maybe it was a diversion tactic and they’re in California or Oregon. At this point, they can be anywhere but they’re in the wind.”

Mira shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “That’s all I can tell you. And no, Miss Ivy League FBI agent, I didn’t tell my family shit about anything because Pyro doesn’t talk about his job with me. I don’t ask either because frankly, I don’t want to know. Plausible deniability and all of that.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Decker, I meant no offense—”

“
Reynolds
. My name is Mira Reynolds. Mira Decker died a long time ago,” she snapped before she walked over to the breakfast bar.