Rising Up: Finding Me book 1 (26 page)

"I thought I'd let you know that Ginny is coming back to work tomorrow."  He gives me a sly glance as he helps himself to coffee.  "What did your Mom want this morning?  I haven't seen her here for a while."

My head whips up.  "What do you mean?  I haven't seen her today, when did you see her?"

"I was just coming back from a run and saw her get into the elevator before me.  I presumed she was coming to kick your ass in to shape."  Taking a seat on my sofa he puts his feet up on the table in front of him.

"Well she sure as hell didn't come here.  How long ago was it?"  I push past him knocking his feet to the floor and walk over to the window and look down and see her car is in the car park below. 

"What is she doing?" 

I reach over to grab my cell when I see her walking back to her car with her arm linked through Ginny's and they are laughing at something, my heart lurches when I see Imogen's face smiling and looking happy, it's been the longest month of my life, not seeing her or touching her soft skin. 

Her scent has gone from my bed and the apartment long ago but I can still recall every touch, sigh and moan she ever had with me.  The anger I felt when she made me leave has left me now and I just have hollowness and ache in my chest where my heart used to be.

So as I watch them, I can't help myself from calling my mom.  "Hey Mom, how are things?  I haven't seen you for a while.  What are you doing today I thought about coming over."  I can see her stop and look at Imogen who turns round and looks up at my window I don't think she'll be able to see me this high up but I step back anyway.

"Oh Mason honey, sorry I'm out today I'm meeting up with Beth for some lunch and a bit of shopping.  Why don't you call in after work one night this week?"

"Okay, maybe.  Is it just you and Beth I wouldn't mind lunch with the two of you."  I know my voice is strained.

"Mason, just leave it today.  I think you know who else I'm with so you'll just have trust my judgment on this.  I'll call you later. I love you, bye Mason."

"Yeah, I can see who you're with I only hope you are not meddling.  Don't butt in Mom.  I'll speak to you this evening. Bye."  As I end the call I can’t stop myself from watching Imogen walk away from me and my heart tears just a little bit more.

Lake has walked over and stood with me while I watch Imogen look up again before getting in the car.  "I sure hope your Mom knows what she's doing.  Come on let's go and have a few beers and watch Lucas get shot down by Tamsin again.  She sure has got it in for him, but he keeps going back."

"Yeah, fuck it!  Why not?  Gimme ten minutes.  Go and shout Lucas and I'll meet you at your place.  What's Maddie up to today?"

"Fucked if I know, she went off in a right strop this morning when she found out about Ginny coming in tomorrow.  So I'm keeping out of her way till she calms down."

"We sure have fucked up lives right now."  I look back out of the window and see the car pull out of the lot.  "I just want her back Lake and if my mother has anything to do with it I'll get her soon."

Lake was right about Lucas and Tamsin, she's just knocked him back again and it’s so funny to watch him flounder.  "Seriously dude she's just not in to you, give it up and move on." 

Lake slaps his back hard and leans back in his chair laughing.  The afternoon has been good for me, I've been shutting myself away for too long now, I did this after Lauren, I'm not going to be beaten by this, it's time to stick my neck out and get my girl back.  But just then a familiar tingle goes down my spine and I know Imogen has just walked in.

"Shit Lake, Ginny is here.  I can feel her."  I don't want to look around but Lake does.

"Yeah she's walked in with Amber, I know you have this freaky reaction to her but leave her alone today, it's the first time she's been out and I'm telling you mate she knows you're here, but looks a lot like a deer in your headlights, she looks really nervous and shit, Mase she's lost shit loads of weight."

That's it, that's enough for me, and I stand up and turn to face her and as she looks at me her face crumbles and her shoulders droop.  I can't stop myself from walking over to her and pulling her in to my arms.  "It's all right babe, I'm here and I've got you."  Then the unbelievable happens and she puts her arms around my waist and holds me tight against her too thin body.

"Oh Mason, I'm sorry."  She’s squeezing me even harder and before I know what I'm doing I lean in and kiss her softly on her lips, she replies by opening her mouth and sweeping her tongue across the seam of my lips, and as I open up to taste her a sigh leaves her lips and her unique scent washes over me.  That's it I've found her and me again.

"Oh Mason, I've missed you so much.  I've been lost without you.  I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through.  Can you forgive me?"

"Imogen, there's nothing to forgive you for, I told you I would wait for you, I love you babe.  Do you forgive me for letting you down, for not protecting you the way I should have?"

"Mason, he would have found a way to reach me one way or another, it was not your fault."

"Can we get out of here?" 

My arms have released her and my hands are now running down her arms to reach her hands and hold on tight to them.  "Are you comfortable being alone with me?"  I step away from her to look in her eyes, the dullness is fading but the sparkle hasn't returned yet.

"I'm okay with being alone with you Mason, I think we have things to say to each other but right now I would like us just to be together."  She picks up the bags from her shopping spree and turns to walk out, not even noticing that everyone around us has been holding their breaths.

"Holy Shit Mason, you are one lucky son of a bitch.  Go on, go after her.  Just don't let her go this time and for fucks sake feed her, she looks like she's wasting away."  Lake smiles and punches my arm.

"Can I say 'I told you so' yet Mase?"  Lucas laughs.  "Oh ye of little faith."

Mason

Stepping back into my apartment with Ginny gave me the most amazing feeling of comfort, of being whole again.  I watch her run her hands over the surfaces as she reacquaints herself with my home.

"I've missed being here you know, my apartment just doesn't feel as good as this one.  I feel like I can finally breathe again."  Standing there with her head stretched up taking deep breaths into her lungs, my heart swells again and starts beating properly, it's in time with hers again.

"Imogen, come here babe."  I open my arms and she rushes into them, her head presses into my chest as her shoulders shake.  "Shhh, Ginny, it’s okay babe.  It's all over."

"I feel so stupid!  I hated myself and what had happened to me and I didn't want you to be with me out of pity." She sobs into my shirt.

"What happened today with my mother? 

Please don't tell me she bullied you into coming back to me, I don't want your pity either Imogen."  I lean back and look in her face for something telling me I'm right but there's nothing there, just her honesty shining through.

"Well...” She almost giggles but it turns into a hiccup.  "She read me the riot act and gave me a few home truths." 

I frown when I hear this.  "Was there an argument Ginny, 'cause if there was I'm gonna kick her butt!"

"Yeah right, like you'd stand a chance with her.  But no there wasn't any arguing and she really did help me see past my problems, and recognize that I was the cause of a lot of yours.  Your mother loves you very much Mason and came round to help.

But she isn't the reason I'm back here, I've wanted to come back to you from the moment you turned and walked away.  Being on my own for these last four weeks has given me time to focus on my faults and to come to terms, that although I was led to Jake like a lamb to slaughter by my parents there were plenty of times I could have put a stop to it all and I didn't and I now recognize that my desire to please him came from never having any praise from my parents as I grew up, I craved his attention just because it was some sort of attention."

"You sound like you've had some help with your feelings."  We've separated from each other now and are sat at the breakfast counter.

"I have, can you hear the therapist speak throughout all of that?"  She laughs and reaches out to tentatively touch the back of my hand which I automatically turn over to hold on to hers.

"I can but it sounds like you found a good one and it has helped you."  My eyes roam over her body and I can feel my passion for her rising in me, but now is not the time for that, I'm going to let her take the lead with that.  She just raises her eyes from staring at our linked hands and nods.  I lift our hands up and kiss the back of hers.

"Ginny, you've lost so much weight why haven't you been looking after yourself?  I'm going to have to feed you up starting right now."

"I couldn't be bothered to eat, I didn't like my body very much so feeding it wasn't very high up on my agenda.  Tamsin and Amber would come round and bring a take-out so I would eat then but I just sort of forgot when I was by myself."

"Well that stops now and I'm hungry so you must be too, did you eat out with my Mom and sister today?"

"I did, we went to a very quaint little Italian place just off the market square, I liked it a lot."

"Okay so not Italian tonight, how about Mexican?  I can rustle up a pretty decent enchilada."  I start hunting through fridge and the cupboards gathering everything together.

"That sounds good.  Can I help?  I'd like to."  She steps up to the sink and starts to wash her hands.

"I'd love you to help, you're a great cook."  We settle down to our tasks of chopping and dicing.  "What did you buy today babe, whenever you go shopping you seems to come back weighed down with bags."

"I decided it was time for a new start so I bought a whole new wardrobe of clothes."  She glances sideways at me before saying. "I went to see Trudy too and bought some very nice things from her."

My mouth goes dry as I digest this information and have to swallow hard as I imagine what she has purchased from my friend.  "Anything I might get to see some time?"

"Oh yes I'm sure you will, the dresses she has are stunning I can't wait to have a party to go to so I can wear one of them."  She knows full well that that wasn’t what I was referring to.

"Am I gonna have to spank that delectable ass of yours soon?  You should know better than to tease me."  Then I look at her and she has gone still and has her head down. 

Shit I've overstepped the mark with that comment.  "Fuck Ginny I'm sorry I didn't mean it.  Shit!  Babe look at me please."  But when she does she’s smirking at me and the bright green sparkle is back.

"Oh you're for it now Missy!"  I turn to grab her but she slips past me and runs into the lounge and dodges behind the dining table.

"You're not going to get away from me babe, so be a good girl and come here."  My eyebrows are raised up at her and I'm laughing.

"No way Mister you want to spank my arse and that really isn't going to happen."  She darts off again but this time towards my bedroom.

"There's no escape from here Imogen so be a good girl and come here."  I stalk towards her and I can feel my body adjusting and dominating the room, and with one quick grab as she runs past me, I grab her around the waist and pull her down on to the bed and I cover her with my body. 

We are both breathless when we look at it each other, and our lips crash together, and as we start to devour each other’s mouths a deep groan releases itself from my chest and my hands are running through her beautiful hair.  Just as it reaches its crescendo a loud beeping interrupts us.

"Shit!  That's the smoke alarm I left the pan on the stove!"  We both jump up and run laughing back to the kitchen, luckily it was only the oil in the pan.

"I don't think that wasn't the only thing that was about to catch on fire Mason, I've missed your body on mine."

"You can't say things like that to me right now Ginny.  I want you so much but I want us to reconnect with each other before we start sleeping together again."  As I turn to look at her face has fallen and again she won't look at me.  "Imogen what have I said to upset you?"

"You don't want me like that anymore, I didn't think you would but I hoped I would be wrong.  I think I'll go back to my place now.  I'll see you at work tomorrow."  She starts to walk away and begins to collect all her shopping and her purse when I reach out to stop her.

"Can you feel that Imogen."  I place her hand on my jeans where my erection is straining against the zip.  "That's how much I want you, I would happily tear your clothes from your body and devour you right here but I want us to base our new relationship on love and trust as well as passion. 

The ball is in your court Imogen, I'm not going to take the lead in this so please put your stuff back down and have dinner with me, I’m not ready for you to be out of my sight again." 

Her hand has been stroking me the whole time and her eyes have darkened but I take her hand and lead her back to the kitchen.  "Okay Mason, as long as you do still want me we can take our time.  So feed me now please."

Imogen

The rest of the night is perfect and after we'd eaten we just sat and talked.  We didn't skirt around the horrors of the attack and after we had both explained how we felt, I think we can close the door on it for now at least, Lake has been keeping me informed of all the proceedings and so far I haven't had to deal with the police once they had my statement, they were happy to leave me alone.

"Is work going to be difficult for me tomorrow Mase?  How have things been there, is Maddie still enjoying her work?"  I knew I had to talk to her and try and see if there was still a chance of our friendship surviving.

"She seems to be working well, her team is happy with her.  Lake says she is withdrawn at home and won't talk about you, and today when she found out you were coming back she stormed off in a mood.  I think she is struggling to come to terms with what happened and her involvement in it.

If I were you I wouldn't go rushing up with open arms to her babe, I think she needs to reach out to you, to test the waters so to speak.  She is sorry and if you want to be her friend you are going to have to let her back in and accept her apology.  Do you want that from her?  Do you want your friend back?"

"I do I miss her, she has been my friend for most of my life and that's too many good memories and happy times to throw away.  I think I will offer her an opening and see how she takes it, but I'm not going to beg for our friendship."

"I think that's a good approach, babe.  Look it's getting late, shall I walk you back to your place?"

"Is that what you want to do or what you think you should do?" 

I look expectantly at him, I've been sat comfortably on his large sofa, tucked between his legs lying against his chest and I really don't want to go back to my empty room.

"You always know just which buttons to press with me, don't you?" 

I just shrug at him.  "This is up to you Mason, I can go home tonight or I can stay here with you.  I have things with me after my massive shop today so I'm able to get ready for work here in the morning, but if you think we should take things slowly I'll go home."

"Okay, if you are leaving it up to me then I want you to stay.  I don't like you calling the apartment downstairs your home but I don't think you are ready to move in here with me, so please Ginny will you stay here with me tonight?"

"I would love nothing more, Mason.  I'm not expecting you to make love to me tonight but I would like to sleep with your arms wrapped around me.  I didn't think I would ever get the chance to feel you around me again."  I've twisted myself around and am facing him.  "Can we go to bed now please?"

He looks down at me and swoops his arm under my legs and lifts me into his arms and carries me through to his room.  "I'll let you use the bathroom first Ginny, I'll just go and lock up."  His voice has deepened and his eyes are dark but I can see him trying to get himself back under control.

I decide to have a shower and quickly strip off and step under the hot water.  I had stocked up on all my toiletries today so I have my own shampoo and body wash.  But throughout my washing I was imagining Mason's hands on me as his eyes wandered over my body. 

Shaking my head I snap out of it and hurry to finish but when I opened the shower door I see him standing in front of me his eyes looking down as his hands clench into fists at his sides as he tries to resist me.

"Mason, darling.  Please look at me."  I step towards him and start to wrap a towel around me hoping that by covering myself up he will take control.  As I step closer to him he moves back away from me.  "Don't move away Mason, let me pass and you can have some privacy."  He steps away still unable to look at me.

I'm dressed in a new pair of sleep shorts and vest top and have blasted my wet hair with the dryer but as I’m about to climb into his bed he comes out of the bathroom and I see the torment on his face and it is hard for me to deal with.  "Mason if this is going to be too difficult for you then I think I'd better go back to my place."  I start to pick up my clothes to get dressed again.

"No Ginny, I don't want you to go, I just wasn't expecting you to be here with me ever again, and I am so happy that you are but I'm struggling to keep my desire for you under control."  He has pulled on a pair of cut-off sweats to sleep in and has thrown his damp towel in the clothes hamper.  "Come on, let's just get in and sleep, one day at a time please Ginny."

"Of course my love."  I clamber in next to him and turn onto my side facing him, my hands are tucked under the pillow so that I don't reach out to touch him, but with his face so close to mine I can't resist leaning towards him and breathe in his unique scent sighing as I let it permeate my skin.  His arms snake around my waist and tugs me closer to him, this time my hands escape from their prison and reach up to his face.  As I stroke his face he chuckles at me.

"Mapping my face again Imogen, I don't think it has changed babe."  His breath washes over me and brings goose bumps over the whole of my skin.

"Not really, just reacquainting myself with you.  I wasn't expecting this either so I'm making the most of my time with you.  Tomorrow I will be back at work and will have to focus hard on catching up with April and I think my days will be very long for quite a while now."

"I want you to step back into work slowly Imogen, you have been through an awful lot of trauma and have not been taking proper care of yourself."  His words are genuine but I don't like them.

"Don't baby me please Mason, I have wasted enough of my year here with you already, please let me get back to work as I see fit.  I know my body has recovered and now it's time to get my brain working again. 

That is why I'm here and why you employed me, let me learn from you all and let me earn my salary."  My hands reach his face again.  "Please."  I implore him

"Jesus, Imogen.  I can't resist you when you plead.  Okay, I'm going to leave you to get back into work your own way.  Now please turn over so I can get some sleep."  He kisses my forehead and turns me away from him.

I can feel his arousal against my back as I curl into him and can't resist just a small wriggle against him.