Risking it All (27 page)

braced her hands on either side of his

head, more of the discomfort fled. Her

lips hovered just above Bowen’s as she

rocked her hips up and back, grinding

down where their bodies joined. In the

beginning it felt good…then it started to

feel
great
. The pressure stopped feeling

like a hindrance to her movements as she

worked her sensitive flesh against his,

finding the perfect angle. Beneath her,

Bowen watched her under heavy

eyelids, his body flexing with the effort

to keep his hold on the headboard. He

looked ready to shatter and for some

inexplicable reason, that turned her on

even more. She wanted to shatter him.

Wanted them to shatter together. She

planted her hands on his chest and

increased her pace, bucking her hips one

minute and circling slowly the next.

“Fuck. I have to touch you.” One hand

left the headboard to grab hold of her

bottom, goading her into moving faster.

With the other, he reached between their

writhing bodies to stroke her clitoris

with his thumb. She cried out as a

tightening in her abdomen started,

working its way lower, encompassing

her thighs and the suddenly needy place

between them. “Don’t stop, Sera. Give it

up to me. Give it
up
.”

Instinct took over, making it her

mission to find out where this ache

ended. It was unlike anything she’d ever

felt, stronger than any pleasure she’d

found on her own. She was suspended

over the edge of release, but felt

suddenly unsure about taking the leap.

This would change something inside her.

She could feel that with perfect

certainty, yet she couldn’t deny it, either.

Her confusion escaped in the form of a

whimper.

Bowen jackknifed into a sitting

position, as if propelled by her chaotic

thoughts. His mouth found hers for a hard

kiss, the rough hand on her backside

forcing her to slow down. “Hey, you

look at me. I don’t know where you

went, but get the hell back here.
Now.

You don’t get to drive me out of my

mind, then disappear. I’ll drag you back

kicking and screaming.”

Having his warmth pressed against

her, his mouth so close, sent reassurance

pouring over her, bringing with it a

renewed heat. Even the course, blunt

way he spoke to her boosted her

confidence and once again, she started to

roll her hips, desperate to find the edge

again. His answering groan sizzled

through her bloodstream.

“I’m driving you out of your mind?”

she whispered.

“You like hearing that, don’t you?” He

bit her bottom lip and tugged. “Does it

make you hot to know how fucked up I

am over you? Over this pussy?”

Her hips pumped faster, of their own

accord. “Yes.”

Bowen wrapped her hair in his fist

and tugged her close, so he could speak

against her ear, hot breath sending a

shiver down her neck. “You don’t fuck

like no virgin, Sera. You don’t get on

your knees like one, either.” He leaned

back slightly, thrusting up into her at a

new angle that made her head spin. His

expression was pure lust, the filthy kind

that she didn’t realize she’d been

craving. “If you weren’t choking the hell

out of my cock, I wouldn’t believe it.

You a natural, baby? A tight little

natural?”

She moaned loudly and let her head

fall back. The need for relief came

charging back, her mind going blank

except for Bowen and the promise that

he could provide it. She arched her back

and widened her thighs, riding up and

down on his slick, rigid length. One

calloused hand palmed her breasts,

squeezing, before his greedy mouth

found her nipples. He growled as he

licked and sucked, sending the final dart

of pleasure through her she needed to

climax. It felt like drowning and being

rescued at the same time. Not being able

to breathe, but somehow her lungs had

never been so full. Bowen’s hands on

her backside urged her to ride it out fast

and hard, as he drove himself up high

and deep with forceful thrusts, making

her scream.

Bowen crushed her to his chest,

barking a curse as he came apart beneath

her. His teeth raked down her neck, his

powerful body shaking in time with hers.

“God, Sera…baby, it’s so good. So

fucking perfect. Mine now. My girl.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck

and held him tight, still attempting to

catch her breath. “Yes, your girl.”

He rocked them for a while, a move

she wouldn’t have expected from

Bowen, but somehow felt completely

necessary. She couldn’t fathom ever

leaving that position, his warmth, the

smoky masculine scent he carried with

him. The reality of their situation tried to

intrude, but she pushed it away in favor

of savoring the moment, their bodies

molded together.

It was hard to say when reality started

creeping back in. Perhaps with the

tightening of Bowen’s shoulders, his

prolonged silence. The way he went

still, stiller than she’d ever seen him.

Panic invaded her, horror that she’d seen

this for something it wasn’t. Minutes

ticked by as she tried to summon the

courage to move, to face whatever

change had come over him. Dreading

what she would find on his face, she

slowly lifted her head and found his icy

stare back in place, the one he’d worn

after the scene outside Marco’s.

“Bowen?”

He nodded once, but didn’t meet her

eyes. “Remember what I said. You stay

in this room with the door locked.

Anyone tries to come in, you shoot them.

Tell me you understand, Sera.”

She flinched over the detachment in

his voice. “You’re leaving now?

After…”

Finally, he looked at her. What she

saw caused the blood to drain from her

face. Pure, lethal determination. “Did

you think if we slept together, it would

make me
less
eager to kill for you?” He

leaned in and captured her mouth for a

thorough, possessive kiss. One that

brought back the throbbing between her

legs. “If that was your goal, it backfired.

I’ve had you now. Made you mine. The

one who tried to take you away from me

is going to pay.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Sera.

Bowen woke up with a head filled

with sand.

His body ached for reasons he

couldn’t remember and the hardwood

floor he lay sprawled on wasn’t helping

matters. Sunshine blinded him, sending

splitting pain through his skull. As soon

as the light vanished, his memory

returned with the force of a tsunami,

rushing in like moving cement. He shot

up

into

a

sitting

position

and

immediately regretted the action as his

stomach pitched. His hands rose to

clutch his head and he saw the blood. So

much blood.

No. Not blood. Paint.

He’d come home and found Sera

asleep in the guest bed, looking so

beautiful he could have stood there

staring at her for the rest of his life.

Watching her chest rise and fall

underneath

her

halo,

where

she

belonged. He had no idea how long he

stood there before returning to his room

to paint. And drink. God yes, he’d drank.

Enough so he wouldn’t have to think

about what he’d done. Her face when

she realized he was leaving her,

abandoning her after what she’d given

him.

Now that he was thinking semi-

clearly, his head free of blinding

vengeance, he recognized his massive

mistake. He’d proven himself unworthy

of her. Something he’d already known

with absolute certainty, but she’d

seemed willing to ignore. There would

be no ignoring it now. She’d given him

the best night of his life and he’d

squandered it by letting his inner demons

get the better of him.

How he’d managed to pull himself

away from her, he still didn’t quite

understand. Hell, he couldn’t
remember
.

After she’d wrecked him for any other

experience life had to offer, his

protective nature had swelled inside

him, cutting everything else off. In his

arms, he’d been holding the most

precious thing in the universe and

instead of enjoying it, instead of holding

her through the night as he should have

done, he’d only been capable of

picturing that man’s hands around her

throat. He’d thought about what they

would have done to her, how they would

have hurt her, and his mind had gone

berserk.

God, he’d give anything to go back in

time and sleep beside her. To tuck her

against him and keep her warm, make

her feel safe. What if he never got that

chance again? He
shouldn’t
get that

chance. If she gave it to him, he’d

probably attempt to talk her out of it,

then beg for the opportunity anyway.

Jesus Christ. What a pathetic fuck he

was turning out to be. After drinking

himself into oblivion, he’d stumbled out

of his room and parked himself in front

of her bedroom door like a guard dog,

which is where he still lay. He needed to

clean himself up before she came out,

maybe put on some coffee. She liked

coffee. Maybe that would at least get her

talking to him.

But…what then? Hadn’t he decided

last night he would call Troy and

demand they come get her, whether

she’d secured the ledger or not? There

were too many threats around her,

including himself, as was proven last

night. As long as she stuck around, his

enemies were her enemies. He’d made it

obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes

she was important to him, and someone

would eventually get the balls to use her

against him again.

A new pounding took up residence in

his temples at the idea. Right now, she

was safely tucked in bed, right where he

wanted her,
needed
her, to be. She was

scheduled to work tonight at Rush, but

there had to be a way to keep her away

from the place. Just one more day.

Please God, he just wanted one more

day with her.

His hand went to the guest room

doorknob without any conscious thought.

The sudden need to see her sleeping

peacefully, unharmed, wouldn’t leave

him. As quietly as possible, he turned

the knob and pushed open the door.

Gone.

Bowen’s knees buckled under him. He

grabbed the doorframe for balance as

denial went off like firecrackers in his

already-pounding head. The bed was

unmade; her clothes were still there. She

hadn’t planned on leaving for good. Had

someone come in and taken her while he

lay passed out on the floor, unable to

intervene?
No, please. No.

Calm down. She could still be here.

He stomped toward the bathroom and

nearly ripped the door off the hinges to

get a look inside. Lights off. Empty. He

spun in a circle, searching through the

apartment, seeing no sign of her.

Commanding himself to focus, he

dialed Troy’s Manhattan cell phone

number. He answered on the first ring,

the sounds of the precinct behind him.

“What is it?”

“
Did you take her?
” he shouted. “
Did

you take her from me?
”

A long pause on the other end had

Bowen pulling his hair out. Finally, Troy

spoke. “Calm down and explain

yourself. Sera’s
gone
?”

Red danced in front of his eyes.

“Don’t play dumb with me, you asshole.

Where the hell is she? No cops. I told