River's Escape (River's End Series, #2) (26 page)

Ian surprisingly nodded. “I might have. Come by tomorrow morning at eight o’clock. We’ll be working down along the river.”

Caleb spun on his heel and left with a salute.

Kailynn watched him retreat and blushed warmly when Ian’s arms encircled her from behind and she leaned against him. “That was the strangest encounter of my life. But I just didn’t know he cared so much. I never imagined he was scaring off all my boyfriends, or guys he perceived might be.”

“I have to admit I always wondered why Shane didn’t go after you. You weren’t subtle about your feelings. He had to know. He cared more about Caleb’s friendship than another hookup.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, apologizing for the same thing… again.

“You don’t have to be. I was just stating.”

“This was really awkward and weird and embarrassing… and wonderful. He loves me. He looked out for me. In his own way, he always has. And my dad said he was proud of me. I don’t think either of them has ever said anything close to that before. Now with the threat of me leaving, they both unload their true feelings. I wonder where Jordan is?”

He suddenly loosened his arms from her and took her hand. He pulled her towards a bench that overlooked the river. They stopped along the bank and stared down at the rushing water. It was still cold out and the gun-metal gray of the day melted into the turbulent water. “He, ah, has a friend here that he often comes and visits.”

“A friend? Oh, like a girl?” She frowned and shook her head. “But what girl is here? There’s only me and Erin.”

“You know that controlling thing you don’t like? Might not like this either. I’ve known something for awhile, but I wasn’t sure if I should tell you.”

“For future reference, err on the side of being cautious and
tell me.
”

He nodded and pitched a rock into the river. “He’s gay, Kailynn. He comes here to see Pablo, that kid who helps out AJ.”

Both of her brothers had virtually morphed three-hundred-and-sixty degrees in less than an hour. “What? That doesn’t even make sense. I’ve seen Jordan with girls. I’ve heard them in his room. I mean, I know he’s been with girls.”

“Yeah. I know that too. But I also know I saw them together when I entered one of the outbuildings. They obviously didn’t hear me and I saw way too much of them. I’m not mistaken. You can be sure of that. There is no mistaking what I saw.”

She watched Ian’s profile as he turned to her slowly. “You were so quiet, they didn’t hear you? How long ago? When was this?”

“I don’t know. Probably last winter.”

“You really are like a shadow around here, going around and collecting all your tidbits that you only share when you want to.”

“Actually, I just thought he deserved some privacy. None of my business.”

She drew in a breath and shut her eyes. He was right, of course. It wasn’t even her business, really. If Ian had been another kind of man, he might have hurt her brother with what he knew. He could have ridiculed and taunted him. Or made Jordan’s life miserable in the valley.

“Do you think he cares about Pablo?”

“I don’t know. I know he comes here often when Shane and Caleb are gone. I assume he must mean something to him.”

“What about all the girls?”

“A cover? I don’t know. Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself he’s not. Or he’s simply confused and can’t live with or without it. I don’t know. I just know what I saw.”

She turned and watched the river. Finally, she leaned her head over and set it on Ian’s arm. He glanced down at her. “Thank you. You could have hurt him so much with that information. You could have gossiped, or made fun of him, or blackmailed him. Instead, you just kept it to yourself.”

“I wasn’t sure I should tell you or not. It really is his business. Not even yours. I just was thinking about what you said in the shop… and you’re right, I do control everything. Or at least, I try. The thing is: I don’t really realize I’m doing it. But I don’t want to control you. I want to
be
with you.”

“You are with me.” She tilted her head up so she could see his face, and smiled a small, shy smile.

“I am with you.” He spoke the words seriously, as if testing them out. He nodded and looked forward. “So, you’re not angry at the college thing?”

“I’m angry. But other things since then have made me not feel so angry.”

“And you’re willing to use the money and go there?”

“No. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’ve let my lack of self confidence keep me from most everything in my life.”

“You could just owe me the money.”

“I don’t want to owe you.”

He nodded and sighed deeply. “I know.”

“I could apply to closer schools.”

“You already missed the winter quarter cutoff.” He stared out at the river and didn’t speak. The quiet was like a mountain of land that sat between them. Finally, he said, “I think you should go, Kailynn.”

“I know,” she said, in a hollow tone. She didn’t want to talk about the why. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Luckily, she was with the un-chattiest person on the planet. He let the silence stand as they sat on the beach and watched the river flowing by.

MONEY
. FOR THOSE WHO don’t have it, it can be one of the leading factors in making critical decisions. Always before, the lack of money determined what Kailynn did. It was the sole reason she had to take two jobs right out of high school that she didn’t like. She nearly freaked out when she saw the tuition prices for college. She thought it was more money than the trailer her family lived in probably cost. It was why she refused for almost five years to do anything about the direction of her life. She was drifting aimlessly, rotting away in River’s End, because she simply couldn’t conceive of how they could all eat if she didn’t work to provide for them. Especially, her dad. Her brothers might have managed to land on their feet, but what about her dad? Lacking enough money was something that always hindered her dreams as well as her motivation to manifest them.

Ian didn’t understand that. He always had easy access to money. Money did separate them by polarizing their views of it. He couldn’t understand the passionate resistance she displayed when he offered his money. It was easier to be magnanimous and give to a loved one, than to be on the receiving end. It was easier to be the donor than the one pitied by others.

Ian made a convincing case for why she should simply do it. He finally convinced her she was never going to if she didn’t do it now. Her brothers could work for Jack and him, so her family could afford to eat. Her brothers would also handle her father. It really wasn’t enough to keep making excuses anymore. It was time to quit procrastinating.

In the end, however, she did take the money. She agreed to let Ian pay for the start of winter quarter, and applied for financial aid. After winter quarter, she hoped she would not need Ian’s money. But Ian’s money could let her start school
now
.

How could she want to be in two places at once so much? Having been stuck in River’s End for her whole life, her feeling of being trapped had increased tenfold since her graduation from high school. All she ever wanted was to get out of there. But now, with people actually urging her and pressuring her to go, it suddenly felt possible. However, for the first time, being in River’s End was… fun and she liked it. She liked dating Ian, and letting people know about them. He could come into the café and freely flirt with her now. In his odd and intense way, he continued watching her as if they were the only two people on the planet. Now she could go up to his room in the evenings, and no one commented. She no longer cared where Shane was. Or what anyone else thought. It was a new feeling for her.

She was trying to take a page from Ian’s playbook by not caring what others thought of her, or what she was doing; and found it easier than she expected. She was bolstered by Ian’s strange, unflappable belief in her as well as his unending support.

They didn’t really talk about January. School was scheduled to start up January sixth. She intended to move there, and had been assigned student housing: an apartment to share with three other students. She grew anxious to go. Her insides started to dance with joy whenever she browsed the school’s website. It looked like everything she ever imagined it could be. She wanted to go very badly.

She wanted to stay just as badly.

A sense of unreality always accompanied her anticipation to leave home. Her dad. Her brothers. Her boyfriend. At the start of this year, she would have said every one of them would have said they didn’t care if she stayed there or not. It was startling to find out how much they did care. After the day in Shane’s shop, she felt a new closeness with Ian. She got a daily sense of familiarity with him, despite his placid exterior, that was new and exciting. Before Ian, there had never been one thing or person, except the unattainable Shane, of course, that excited her about River’s End, but now there was. Every single day, she woke up and almost bounced out of bed. Why? Because she’d see Ian at some point in the day. Their meetings became daily. And constant. And real.

Her brothers both started working for Ian, although neither of them said much to her about him. She didn’t confront Jordan about his sexuality. She decided he’d tell her when he was good and ready. She started trying a lot harder to be nice to her brothers, and see them as more than just annoying, naughty boys who bothered her and always tried to gross her out. She tried to talk to them, and interact with them. As soon as she stopped doing everything for them, she stopped resenting them. And when she allowed them to get close to her, she discovered they weren’t so obnoxious as before.

But if she stayed, what could ever change for her? She still had no other jobs she was interested in pursuing. She still wasn’t ready to abandon that feeling of wanderlust that kept beckoning her spirit.

She didn’t really know what that would mean yet for Ian and her. Neither of them broached how it would affect them as a couple. Christmas was soon upon them, and the tree that shone from the Rydells’ front window was fourteen feet tall. It was filled with crazy-colored lights and decorations that spanned more than thirty years. Most of the ornaments were from their parents, and being guys, they never really changed or updated anything. It was always the same tree decorations, year after year, a relic from their childhood.

The plan was for Kailynn’s family and the Rydells to spend Christmas Eve at the Rydell house. She intended to spend that night with Ian so she could be with him on Christmas morning.

She was almost becoming comfortable in letting others know about Ian and her. It became easier each time. Ian held her more often in public, and hugged her in front of different family members. She was surprised to realize she was a shy prude about PDA, and certainly not Ian, who often tried to secretly still grope her just to see what he could get away with, and how far she’d let him go. She was often slapping his hands in jest with they inched too far up her thighs, or he slid his hand beneath her blouse when others weren’t looking.

For Christmas Eve dinner, Kailynn cooked despite Ian’s protests. She tried to explain that it was only because no one else could really do it. In fact, the rest of them sucked at cooking. Erin was learning, but wasn’t a natural and couldn’t read the recipes, or do it alone. So… the onus was on Kailynn. She made ham and potatoes along with half a dozen salads and various side dishes. One thing all the Rydells did quite well was eat. Erin set the table with special linens and illuminated the room only with candles. When they all sat down and dimmed the rest of the lights, the tree shone in beautiful colors against the dark windows, while fresh snow fell outside and carols filled the air. Charlie’s presence only further enhanced the feeling of Christmas and kid-like magic. It was one of the happiest dinners Kailynn could ever remember having. Everyone was in a good mood. Jack and Erin were smiling, and Charlie even sat beside Erin while they sorted through the piles of gifts. Ian brushed Kailynn aside to do the dishes, but not before yelling at Caleb to come and help him. Her brother grumbled and bitched, but got up all the same and followed Ian. Kailynn leaned back and enjoyed the sight.

As the evening wore on, they made a circle around the living room. Everyone laughed as Charlie tore apart some of the gifts he received from his uncles, the Hayes, and Erin. Kailynn’s brothers and dad also exchanged gifts with her now, but that was because she wasn’t coming over tomorrow. Not that they ever did much of anything on Christmas. It made her feel guilty when she thought of them being alone on Christmas. She knew they wouldn’t cook anything special. She tried to ignore her thoughts. It wasn’t her fault if they didn’t have a special day tomorrow. At least, they had one tonight.

Her mother called earlier in the day to wish her a Merry Christmas. She said she’d forgotten to get Kailynn’s gift in the mail soon enough, so it would not arrive until next week. Kailynn hung up without letting it get to her. She was glad she made sure her mother received the small jewelry box she sent her in time for Christmas.

Finally, Jack got up and left the room. He came back and set something down on the coffee table. No one noticed at first except Kailynn. She was curious about the small, black box, and glanced up at Jack. He noticed her big eyes and gave her a little shrug and a smile. She finally couldn’t take it so she nudged Erin, using her eyes to direct Erin’s attention to the box.

Erin’s eyes grew huge as saucers. Kailynn might have laughed if her shock wasn’t so tragic. She glanced around. Jack got up and came next to Erin, nudging her leg with his knee. “Why don’t you open it?”

Silence enveloped the room. Erin visibly swallowed, grabbed the box with trembling fingers, and opened it. Kailynn gasped for Erin, who could only gawk. She’d been rendered speechless. Jack took Erin’s hand and she stared at him, appearing almost horrified. Christmas music softly echoed in the background.

“What are you doing?”

“Asking you to marry me,” Jack said, smiling up at her. With his gaze glued on Erin, he got down on one knee before her, and asked, in a more formal voice, “Will you marry me, Erin Poletti?”

Kailynn temporarily wondered if she’d say yes, and clenched her fists, worried for Jack’s sake. Erin was hard to predict. She had such strange views of life and sometimes didn’t react like most people. Kailynn prayed Jack had read this moment right, and that Erin was ready for it.

“Are you sure?”

Kailynn’s heart ached for Erin’s soft, unsure question. Only she would ask the man who so obviously adored her, if he might be wrong, or accidentally asking her that question. God, she was so clueless. Kailynn looked up and found Ian staring at her, not at the little drama between Erin and his big brother. His gaze made her hot and she felt that weird shudder traveling down her spine. Was it desire? Or lust? Or just the need to feel wanted that only Ian could create in her?

Jack didn’t laugh at Erin’s question, or when he saw her scared, ashen face. His tone was so gentle, kind, and steady, it made Kailynn’s heart ache. She knew now what Erin and she shared, and it wasn’t just the Rydells they had in common. No, it was their complete lack of faith in themselves. Ian and Jack just had to persuade them by using different methods.

“I’m sure. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. That’s why I’m doing it in front my whole family. My brothers. My children.
You
are the woman I want to share all that with. I want you to realize that all of them want the same woman for me too,” Jack replied.

Everyone nodded, and seventeen-year-old Ben leaned forward and nudged Erin’s shoulder. “You should answer Dad, Erin.”

Erin looked over at Charlie as his mouth widened into a big, nine-year-old grin. “You too, Charlie?” Her cheery tone failed to disguise her disbelief.

“Dad told me last week. I kept it to myself this whole time. He said he’d take away my Santa toys if I didn’t keep quiet. Not that there’s a Santa, of course, but I want those toys all the same, and now I get them. Sure, you should marry him, that is, if you wanna.”

Jack grinned at his son and reached over, lifting Erin’s chin and raising her eyes to his. “What do you say, Erin, do you wanna?”

She drew in a breath before nodding in the affirmative. She almost seemed too choked up to speak. Jack swept her up in his arms and held her snugly against him as he stood up. She clung to his neck, and Kailynn had to turn away when tears filled her eyes. They so obviously loved each other, it was almost painful to watch. It soon became embarrassing and Kailynn felt like they were infringing on an intimate moment that was full of private love.

But then, Jack suddenly let out a “Whoop!”, as he spun Erin around. Erin finally smiled and laughed freely.

Shane stood up. “We need a damn toast to that.” With a happy grin, he went off to the kitchen before coming back with champagne and a handful of glasses. The sentiments were shared by all and a jovial, fun, crazy-happy atmosphere was refreshing for all of them. It was just so cool. After all the pain and heartache that recently surrounded the Rydells, especially Jack, a new sense of hope, new possibilities and rebirth were emerging. They all toasted and congratulated the blissful couple as they hugged and laughed. As for Kailynn, she was startled when Ian suddenly put his arms around her, and turned her around to kiss her, tongue and all. The taste of alcohol on his breath nearly made her dizzy.

Caleb noticed and yelled for them to “Get a fucking a room,” while Shane made cat calls at them. She heard her dad’s voice cursing Ian, and demanding that he take his hands off his damn daughter. Strangely, Ian didn’t stop, but kept kissing her until she felt boneless. She was bent back over his arm and thrilled, to say the least. He grinned at her when he finally stopped and lifted her closer to him, whispering simply, “Merry Christmas, Kailynn.”

She melted inside and out. It was because of his tender tone. It was no banal greeting of the season, and she could see the glitter of emotion and heat in his eyes. She was ninety-nine percent sure his
Merry Christmas
was Ian-code for
I love you
.

Much later, after he made love to her in the quiet solitude of his bedroom, he gave her a beautiful necklace with a heart-shaped diamond pendant on it. He waited until she was naked before putting it around her neck and telling her how perfect she looked. The strange thing was, while naked and standing before him, she glimpsed her gift in the mirror’s reflection, and this time, didn’t balk at seeing herself. She didn’t shy away from Ian, either, or attempt to cover herself. She wasn’t perfect, but maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.