Kade.
He let the door slide shut with a
thunk.
They stared at each other. They were going to do this now. She nodded toward one of the utility rooms used to clean their firearms. Wynn opened the door and flipped on the light.
Kade followed her in and shut the door.
He backed her against the counter in a slow, casual way. There wasn’t going to be anything casual about the conversation they would be having. She was about to be cross-examined, and she didn’t want to testify in her own defense. She wasn’t prepared.
“So, you work for the Forest Service,” he said.
She tilted her chin defiantly. “Yes. I’m in the internal affairs division.”
Hurt moved through his eyes seconds before he snapped into work mode. “IA. Why were you in the Red?”
The truth felt heavy and thick in the back of her throat. “The FS put me undercover to see if I could find out more about the pipeline.”
He snorted, coming in close. “I didn’t know fucking me was part of undercover work.”
“It wasn’t. That’s why I’m removing myself from the case.”
She blushed all the way to her roots, and he chuckled as though he wasn’t sure what to believe. She couldn’t blame him for feeling so betrayed.
“What’s the plan, or can’t you tell me because I’m not in the know.”
She deserved that. “You’re in charge of this evolving case, Kade. That’s why I need to step back.”
Ha laughed in a self-depreciating way. “I suppose I should ask you your rank. It wouldn’t look good if you fucked someone below rank, would it?”
She deserved that in a harsh way. “You outrank me by being the SAC leader.”
He came in close, purposely invading her space. Wynn felt her heart hammer. She knew she was losing him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening.
“Tell me one thing, Special Agent South...were you paid by the orgasm, or was I just part of your bonus?”
“You were the one that came on to me first!”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot how you pretended to be frightened of the storm when we were deep in the Red.”
She
was
frightened of the violence of thunderstorms, but would he believe her now if she said so? Probably not. She swallowed hard and hated how her lies destroyed the something special they could’ve had. Tears gathered steam behind her eyes, but she looked away to keep them from falling. “I am frightened by them.”
Kade stabbed his fingers through his hair with his right hand. “Stop lying to me!”
“I’m not. It’s the truth.” She shook her head. How did she make such a mess out of this for both of them? “I didn’t mean to lie to you. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I didn’t want either of us to get hurt.”
“Yes, you did. You were just doing your job.”
His accusation stung. “As were you when you came out to the Arrowhead that morning.”
“I came out to the Arrowhead in search of a missing person. I suppose that was a lie, too.”
“I didn’t want to lie to you. I didn’t have a choice.”
“But you did,” he said. “How can I ever trust you again?”
“You would’ve done the same had the roles been reversed.”
He frowned. “I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“You would.”
“How long have you been with internal affairs?” he asked.
“Three years.”
Wynn knew she stopped doing her job the second they first touched.
“What are we going to do?” Wynn asked.
“The only thing either of us is going to do now is our jobs.”
She didn’t know what to say or to expect or where to go now that they were working together. Kade shook his head as the truth sunk in completely.
“I knew you were hiding something...I never expected it to be this.”
Hurt flashed through her body. There was no getting over this. This was the deal breaker for him. She was sure of it.
“Why don’t we agree that you and I both stopped working the minute I fell into your lap,” she said.
Kade paced away and leaned back against the counter opposite her. He crossed his arms and stared at her in quiet contemplation.
“Is there anything else I should know?” he asked.
She swallowed hard. “They think someone at your branch of the FS is letting the drug activity slide. There may be some bribery going on.”
His eyes widened. “You were down there to investigate me?”
She nodded, and he cursed something foul in another language. “Is there anything else I should be aware of?”
“No. Nothing. I’ve told you everything about why I was down there.”
He fumed. “Why did they think it was me? I have the right to know.”
She paused thoughtfully. “They wanted me to rule you out before they brought you in the know. I wish I had a chance to tell you the truth before you found out this way.”
He came in close. Anger vibrated through his taut muscles. She could tell he wanted to fight this out by winning every round.
“Did you rule me out?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know I’m not the one?” he demanded.
She shook her head. “I just do!”
“Fucking me really put you in an awkward spot.”
“Well, I guess we don’t have to worry about that anymore,” she snapped.
He glared, coming in close. A muscle in the ranger’s jaw flexed hard. Wynn could see that Kade Gentry wasn’t a man that liked to be used by anyone.
“Don’t fucking talk to me ever again,
sweetheart
.”
He turned and walked out, slamming the door. Wynn’s racing heart felt as though it seized up in her chest. Tears exploded from her eyes and rushed across her cheeks in a downpour she couldn’t begin to stop. She slid to her bottom and sat on the floor and cried. The parting endearment was like a slap across the face she couldn’t recover from.
She was crying. He could hear her sobs as he walked away from the utility room. Kade stopped in the hallway and paced it back and forth. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get control of his emotions. Bottom line, he felt lied to. He felt betrayed by her lies of omission and her lies for the job she was asked to do. He felt like a fool, and he was played for one.
Why didn’t they tell him? He could’ve helped her with the job. He wouldn’t have slept with her, either.
Why did she do this to me?
He stopped pacing. He wanted to run back to her and make this all right, but he couldn’t fix the problems she created between them. He shouldn’t have been so hard on her. It was wrong.
Kade hit the stairwell at a fly and didn’t stop until he was outside his superior’s office. He knocked out of formality. Special Agent Jim Anders looked up from his computer. Anders could read people a mile away, everyone, that was, except Kade. It was his gift in and out of the field to keep his emotional grid off the radar of others.
“Got a minute?” Kade asked.
“Shut the door.”
Kade shut the door and paced into his superior’s office. Anders was mid-forties with three children and a wife at home. There were gray streaks in his hair at the temples. At five seven, he had a short man’s complex that had him going big in all areas of his life. Kade would’ve towered over him had they been standing beside each other. There were pictures of his family on the corner of his desk. Three teenage girls.
Jim was the one to hire him personally. Kade considered him to be a friend.
“What’s up?”
“Do you really think I’m involved in the pipeline?” Kade asked.
Anders seemed to mentally chew on the question. “No. I suspect someone is in your department, though. That’s why I sent Agent South down there.”
Kade shook his head. “Why investigate me, then?”
“It was my call. I wanted to be sure before I brought you into the investigation.”
Nothing about what happened between Wynn and himself had gone by the books.
“Is this about Agent South’s performance in the field?” Anders asked.
“She did her job very well. The truth is I feel lied to by both of you.”
“It wasn’t personal.”
“It became personal the moment you both started questioning my integrity.”
It had everything to do with Wynn. This entire situation had been one setup that could’ve brought down his career with the wrong allegation. He ran a hand through his hair. Frustration made him want to hit something hard. He understood why they did what they did, but it didn’t change the fact that he felt betrayed.
This investigation very well could still ruin his career if word got out about what happened between the two of them. Kade sat down in the chair across from Anders and made himself comfortable.
“I want to know everything about her Jim and I want you to start at the beginning. If she’s going to be investigating my team, I have the right to know.”
The demand seemed to surprise Jim, but he nodded. “She’s been with internal affairs for three years, plus another three with the FS. She’s dedicated and efficient.”
“I know
that
,” Kade said. “I want to know if she’s married with a husband.”
Jim’s eyes widened a little. It was then that he probably knew that something had happened between them, but Kade no longer cared.
“Not married. No kids. Her mother was killed by an ex-boyfriend when she was growing up. She grew up with her sister in foster care. She doesn’t trust men easily. Her skepticism of the human experience makes her a great ranger.” There was a long pause. “Tell me what happened out there?”
“Is she afraid of storms?” Kade asked.
“Yes. Terrified.” Jim leaned back in his chair, watching Kade closely. “I know you’re upset because she kept the truth from you.”
Through the window, Kade caught sight of Wynn heading to her office. Her hair was now down and shielding her face. Hurt sliced through his heart and made it weep bitterly. He fucking loved her, and he just crucified her for doing her job well. He was the one who seduced her at her weakest moment. He was the one to seduce her when he should’ve been doing his job.
“Kade?”
“I fucked up with her, Jim. She wants off the case because of me.”
“How are you going to fix this?” Jim asked.
“I don’t know.”
Jim blew out a breath. “I suppose you better figure it out. You’re both the best I’ve got. I can’t lose either of you.”
Wynn made sure she was the first one to arrive at the Red River field office. The lights were on in the building, but only Kade’s truck was parked out front. This was good. This was what she wanted. A neutral place and a few minutes alone with Kade to work out this awkwardness they were working with. They were both adults. There was no reason why they couldn’t put what happened behind both of them and play nice.
Wynn parked her Jeep and ran her hand through her hair as she got out. She left it down to dry and was planning on twisting it up before they went into the field. Now she wished she’d done a little more to it before she left the house.
Kade probably would’ve avoided her as though she had the plague if she showed up with the rest of the team at 0500. She didn’t work well that way. Wynn had to be buzzed into the building. She looked through the atrium windows for him as she pressed the access button next to the door.
Kade stepped into the hall. Their gazes locked, and her heart seized for several seconds in her chest before it started beating again. Wynn thought about heading in the opposite direction, but she knew she could be adult about their situation, so she didn’t. Relief poured through her body when he buzzed open the door, and she opened it.
She could do this. She hated all the tension and the fighting. His strong features hardened into a quiet caution that gave her hope. Wynn’s heart raced as she walked toward him. Wynn knew she had to apologize, despite him not wanting to ever to talk to her again.
“You’re early,” he said.
“I needed to talk to you.”
He turned and headed down the hallway with her following. “What about?”
Kade went into a large conference room where he went to work reviewing a stack of files on the table. He stood on the other side of the table. He glanced up from the files when she hesitated.
“I know you’re angry with me. I just want you to know I’m really sorry for everything. If I could do things over again, I would. I didn’t handle what happened between us very well.”
Kade tossed the file in his hands onto the table. “What do you want from me, Wynn?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Why can’t you just drop it?” he asked.
“I just wanted to apologize to you. I don’t like the tension between us. I can’t work this way.”
“You’re worried about work now?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Kade stalked around the table and blocked her in against the door with both palms. The heat of his body seared through her clothing, and the heat of Kade’s controlled power ignited something dark and forbidden deep within her body. She shouldn’t be feeling any of it, but when he got close, he always managed to awaken something powerful and sexual sleeping inside. What would she do if he offered her another chance? She knew exactly what she’d do. She’d take everything he gave her and more. She wanted the chance to make things right between them. She couldn’t live a lifetime wondering if only she tried something more.
“I understand why you had to do what you did,” he said.
“Kade...please.”
His gaze searched hers, and she was struck by the coolness of it. “Let me finish.”
His look was predatory and sharp and covering for the hurt she hoped he was feeling inside. Tears misted her eyes, but she blinked them away. She wanted to take the first moment they met back completely. If she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t have kissed him at all.
“It doesn’t change things between us right now. We need to focus on doing our jobs. Distractions get people hurt in the field. You and I both are living proof of that.”
He pulled away, and Wynn felt her heart break. There was nothing left for her to do. She couldn’t make him love her or want to be with her forever. There was nothing more she could do on her end to make this right.