Authors: Renee Travis
"No! Mom you can't!" I screamed it; both of my parents looked shock, my father even took a step back.
"Yes, I can and it's final." mom frowned.
"Please, don't do this, please, daddy?" I looked to my father, eyes begging.
"I'm sorry Rose, I've argued this point with your mother but she's being... difficult," he got a rather evil look from mom.
"Rhodanthe, when it comes to your safety and health there will be no tolerance, do you understand? I will not lose you and I believe part of your relapse is his fault."
I stared at my mother, and I knew my face was frozen in a look of sheer panic; I could feel something akin to hatred welling up inside me for her. She had ruined so many aspects of my life; she would NOT take this one from me too. My heart began to pound fiercely in my chest and I didn't fight it, it would serve them right if something happened because of their bad judgment.
"I hate you both." The words were out before I could stop them. My mother froze and I could feel the hurt radiating from my dad from across the room.
"You don't mean that Rose," dad murmured.
"I do, I love Julian, he makes me happy AND healthy, nothing, especially you, will keep us apart," I opened my mouth to say more, but I choked a little, pain welling up from my chest.
"Honey what's wrong?" mom asked. I refused to answer her, stubborn and childish yes, but I was truly hurt.
As mom began to reach for the pill bottle on my night stand I felt Julian's hands on my throat, just his light touch and my body relaxed, my heart deciding that a normal beat would suffice for now.
"Please just get out." And amazingly, after mom gave me another once over, they did just that. I could tell I hurt them, but they hurt me much deeper. I'd rather be dead than living the non-life my mother had just prescribed.
Once the door shut, Julian appeared to me, he climbed in my bed and wrapped his chilly arms around me, I laid my cheek against his neck and we just spooned there together for a few minutes, his hands rubbing circles on my back. Feeling silly I began to cry, not pretty tears that model girls cry but big fat unattractive sobs all over him. My hands were claw like as I grabbed his white T-shirt. My whole body shook.
Julian murmured in my hair words of comfort but they felt empty, they were not words of love, just normal condolence words, phrases I had heard my whole life, robotic responses that I hated.
When I was done, we pulled away from each other. Julian wiped the tears under my eyes with his fingers and I watched as the water was absorbed into his alabaster skin. His face looked so sad and I knew in that instant what he was going to say.
I took his hand in mine and began to shake my head,
dear Goddess please no
. I hiccupped, shaking my head faster, mouthing "no" over and over again as the silent tears began to leak from my eyes and stream down my cheeks.
"Rhodanthe please, don't make this any harder," he murmured, eyes trained on my face, "I am sorry love, but I have to agree with your parents. Had we never began our doomed relationship, Athol would have stayed your friend; he never would have attacked you. Every pain you have suffered these past months, it has all been my fault."
"No! No Julian it's not, please we're not doomed, we love each other, that's what's supposed to matter most," I whispered, desperation in each word.
"You have no idea how hard this is for me, please my Rose blossom help me keep you safe, don't make this any harder than it needs to be." Julian stood then and let go of me, he backed up to the window so I couldn't reach him.
My tears dried up with his words, like there were no more of them to shed. My whole body felt quiet, sad, achy and miserable. All I could think of to say was, "No you're wrong, Athol.... he would have come after me anyway." But even those words felt like dust on my tongue.
"No sweetling he would not, Avalon and I did some research. Athol comes from a long line of vampire hunters. When they hit 18 they have to prove themselves by making a vampire kill, you were just to be the bait for me. I think Athol loves you in his own way but he never would have come for you if not for me," His face was passive; he'd made this decision before tonight, he must have.
"I don't care." I told him coldly, even as I tried to absorb this new information. Athol was a vampire hunter? How much more insane could things get?
"I do." Julian blew me a kiss and then he was gone.
I just sat there for a few minutes, hurt and angry. No, not just angry PISSED. I was pissed that my mother was running my whole world, stopping my life even before my heart could. I was furious that Julian felt like he had the power and the control to end our relationship, furious that I was feeling powerless and disrespected.
I stood up and made myself walk to the vanity; I grabbed my ivory handled hair brush, the one my grandmother had sent me for Christmas the year before. I missed her, and if things didn't improve, I might just run away and stay with her. Thinking about running away gave me a little more perspective. Nana wouldn't allow me to stay with her, she'd always told me not to run from my problems.
I began to brush my hair and look at myself in the mirror. I asked myself what Grandma Lacey would do? She would fight back, I answered. So I finished brushing my hair and concocted a plan.
Chapter 10
"I think we've made a mistake Elizabeth."
"You would blame us for this instead of that boy."
"It's us who told her she couldn't see him anymore."
I stopped, bare feet just touching the last step of the stairs. My parents were discussing me again; they had done that a lot over the last nine days.
"Have you even LOOKED at your daughter Elizabeth? She's pale and she almost never sleeps, you could fall into the bags under her eyes."
This was how most of my mornings started; Mom and Dad arguing in the kitchen and me perched on the stairs just listening. I was wearing a deep purple peasant skirt and a black scooped neck T-shirt. The clothes hung off me; I had barely eaten in the last week. Thoughts of Julian making me feverish, angry and sad. I didn't want to talk to my parents: this was partly their fault too. Julian was just being Julian, a martyr.
Tired of them talking about me I cleared my throat to let them know I was there, they stopped talking instantly and came out of the kitchen.
"Rose, good morning, how about some orange juice before school?" my dad asked, plastering a big fake smile on his face.
"Or maybe some wheat pancakes?" My mom looked tired and her offer sounded bored. I could tell they were each on their last leg.
"No thanks, I've gotta go," I said. I walked past them and slipped on socks and boots. Before they could offer me anything else I was out the door.
Mel had been giving me rides to school and back pretty much every day, she felt sorry for me, I could tell. I steeled myself for her normal conversation topic as I got into the passenger seat, cringing against the fake leather, missing the soft buttery feeling of sliding into Julian's vehicle.
"Hey hun how you feeling today, you eat?" Mel asked, looking over at me briefly.
"I'm okay, I ate some crackers when I got up this morning," I told her as I buckled myself in.
"Well that's healthy," she said sarcastically. "I still can't believe your Stepford mom put so many damn restrictions on you; that sucks and we both know it. How are we supposed to celebrate Christmas together, your mom always lets you attend at least that party."
I let her ramble knowing that it comforted her to be able to bash the people who had hurt me.
"Thank God stupid Athol is being home schooled now, if we had to deal with him and the restraining order on top of everything else I'd pull my hair out!" She exclaimed while we were stopped at a red light. This was one thing I agreed with completely. Per the restraining order Athol could not be within 50 feet of me. Seeing the issue with this since we went to the same school his parents had reluctantly enrolled him in home school so my parents didn't bring a civil suit against them.
"And that Julian eh? I still can't believe he listened to your parents and agreed with them! I knew there was something wrong with him that first night at the dance. I said to Killian, 'Killy, no guy that perfect looking survives without a flaw', bet he wears his underwear two days in a row." Mel giggled at her own little joke. She even made me smile a bit.
As we pulled into the parking lot my eyes searched for Julian's huge Ford, like always, but like every school day in the last nine it's wasn't there. Neither he or nor Avalon had been in school since we broke up. She had called me a few days ago saying she'd be back later in the week but they just wanted to give me some space. She hoped she and I could still be friends. I hadn't said anything, just hung up.
Most days I just wandered from class to class, barely speaking to anyone but Mel. I'd been working on a plan, a plan to make Julian see he couldn't live without me. I didn't know if I had the courage to pull it off but I was going to damn well try.
My anger was always beneath the surface, sometimes things, words or thoughts made it rise, but I had pretty good control over it.
But this day was different, Tuesday and the rest of the week seemed to loom ahead of me like a giant black cloud. Sitting in last period, the November breeze floating through the open door, I felt my anger burst to life. I hated the empty feeling that filled my soul. Abhorred that I woke in the night craving Julian, his presence, his touch, even his smell and I wouldn't have felt that way if Julian hadn't given me his blood, if he'd just let me die.
I tried to use our bond on several occasions but each time just touching his essence had made me cry, but it was different this time, because of my anger. Our bond flared open in my mind and while I was still seeing with my own eyes my surroundings, in my mind I was seeing a dim path to where Julian was.
I stood up, clutching that path and my anger to me like a blanket; I ignored my teacher's protest and walked out of the door. I heard people talking to me as I walked out of school and toward the sidewalk. I shook them off, all I could think of was getting to Julian before he moved and I lost the connection.
I could feel his sadness, blue and dark moving quietly along the blush colored link I saw in my mind, the link that connected us by love and blood. Also covering our connection was a deep bruised purple, my own anguish.
My heart began to beat a little faster as I made my way up the small hill that led to the main road, my short heeled boots leaving depressions in the wet grass. My senses were honed into him, playing an almost sick game of hot or cold. I pulled out my cell phone and my numbing fingers dialed a local cab company.
Waiting, I began to fidget with my clothes, keeping my hands at my sides so not to chew my fingernails. Even now I could hear my mother's reprimand in my head if she saw bitten and uneven nails.
The cab showed up quickly, and I was glad, the bell would ring soon, I was sure to be missed; Mel had been trying to escort me to each of my classes. As we drove I called Mel. I wanted to leave her a message so she wouldn't call my house and freak out mom and dad.
As I climbed into the backseat of the cab I left a brief message telling her where I was going and that I was fine. Hanging up I told the cab driver, an older man who smelled like peppermint, where to head. He looked a little curious, but thankfully didn't ask questions and drove away.