Runaway Love (3 page)

“Umm…Yeah, crybaby. I didn’t know why you were crying then, but yet I still understood. I knew you were hurting so terribly, so deeply, that you were barely hanging on to any hope that your life would get better.”

“Yeah. Crybaby, huh? Well, at least Paul tried to be nice to me even though I had to follow everything he did.” I remember how Paul tried to be the good guy the first week Tony was there. I would just write in my book and watch. I knew how it was going to play out, but I never said anything to Tony until he came to check on me the day after I tried to sneak out. That was the first time we ever really spoke to one another.

“Yeah, it was funny because he had you do all the bad things and would blame everything on you. Then he’d play like it was okay, and you never got in trouble with Ms. Allen. Lucky ass.” We laugh together at the memories we can share. Out of nowhere, Scott comes to my mind as Tony and I share funny stories from the group home. I should be having these moments with Scott, not Tony. However, considering the circumstances, I’m grateful Tony was there for me because I don’t know how I would’ve survived without him.

I return my attention back to Tony as he’s saying, “After you passed out in the bathroom, I carried you to your room and bandaged your knee.”

“I don’t remember that.” I look up at him in wonder.

“Of course you wouldn’t. You were still asleep, baby. I brushed your hair out of your face and told you that I would try to take care of you.” I look into his whiskey brown eyes and see nothing but love and tenderness in them. My gaze moves down to his sexy, full lips that I remember noticing when I first saw him. I give him a deep kiss and feel his smooth tongue invade my mouth as he deepens the kiss until I’m on top of him. I love how Tony is always soft and gentle with me while being extremely passionate at the same time. I know, without a doubt, that he believes I’m the only woman for him.

“Grace, I meant it then, and I still mean it now. I’ll always be here for you, always take care of you. I love you and will always love you.” I want to cry because I love Tony so much, but I can’t give him my heart. I’m too fucked up for this amazing man, but I’m too selfish to let him go. That night we have the best sex as our bodies express how we feel for one another in a way words never can.

I wake up early the next morning to make breakfast for Tony and Scottie before they leave to start their day. After I finish, I get ready to drop Scottie off to school. I kiss Tony on the lips, and he smacks my ass as he walks past me out the door. He starts to laugh as I give him my evil stare - my ass still hurts from last night. I double check Scottie to make sure he’s ready for school.

Just as I finish dropping Scottie off at school, my phone alerts me that I have about ten minutes before I can call Scott. Surprisingly, I wasn’t really thinking about it until the alert came through on my phone. Maybe I shouldn’t call him. Hell, he left and never came back for me. However, I think I do need an answer as to why he broke my heart. I need to know how he could tell me he loved me and then just leave and not come back for me. Once I know, I can finally move on with my life and forget about Scott Peters. I’ll call him
just
to get answers. After such amazing sex with Tony last night, I’m totally resolved to focus on my marriage. I’ll get the answers from Scott and never talk to him again. I need to prepare myself that this isn’t going to be a happy reunion type conversation, though. When I get home, I sit in the living room and control my breathing before I dial the numbers.

The phone rings a few times before a man’s deep, accented voice speaks, “Hello, this is Scott.” I can’t breathe. He says hello several times until I find my voice.

“Me, Grace.” Oh my God! I’m such a dork! I take a deep breath and try again, “Hi, Scott. This is Grace. Do you remember me?” Really? Way to go, Grace! But, at least I got sentences out this time! I hear things moving around in the background.

His surprised and excited voice responds, “Is this really Grace? Grace from Ms. Allen’s group home?” Well, I guess he hasn’t found any other Grace.

“Yes, that is me. Or, you may remember me better as the Grace you left behind.” I hear him take a deep breath and know both my words and my tone have hit him in the chest. Good.

All of a sudden, I hear shuffling as he’s obviously covering his phone so I can’t hear something. I can’t make out the words, but I can tell there’s a woman with him.

He drops his phone, and I hear a thud as he says, “Don’t fucking touch me right now!” I guess I called at a bad time, even though it’s when he told me to call. He could’ve at least gotten rid of his whore before I called. Asshole.

I cough into the phone before asking with mock sweetness, “Is this a bad time?”

“No, it’s not a bad time. Did you really say I left you?” I start to laugh. Is he seriously going to play the he-don’t-know act?

“Wow! Really? Maybe I need to refresh your memory, Mr. Peters. You left me when you turned seventeen, and you never looked back. You promised me you’d save me from that hell-hole and we’d always be together. You were all I had! You were my sunshine, my happiness, my hope! If you didn’t love me, all you had to do was tell me instead of stringing along the poor, abandoned, reject girl! You never should’ve promised to come back for me when you had no intention of doing so!” I am so pissed that I get up and start pacing the floor. I can’t believe all the hurt and anger I’ve kept pent-up inside all these years.

“Grace, listen to me, please,” Scott begins with an edge of desperation in his voice. “I did come back to visit you. I came back because I wanted to tell you that I was leaving for England to play soccer. I was so excited to share my news, but you weren’t there when I came so I told Paul to tell you since I knew Ms. Allen wouldn’t. I tried, Grace! Honestly, I tried!” Scott’s voice quivers as he fights to hold back tears while I struggle to not break my phone.

“Are you serious, SCOTT? You told
Paul
? Out of all the other kids, you chose the one who hated me and loved to make me miserable? After you left, he treated me even worse because he knew I had no one to protect me! He reveled in my misery, yet you trusted him with the information that would’ve saved me! Deep down you had to have known he wouldn’t tell me! Why didn’t you wait for me or come back later? I’m sure you had plenty of opportunities, especially once you became a celebrity! It’s been ten years, Scott! Ten fucking years and not a single ounce of effort on your part to be with me! How could you do that to me? How could you abandon me?” I don’t try to hide my pain, hurt, and disappointment as I yell at him. I want, no, I need him to feel my anguish. He needs to realize what he did to me, how much he hurt me. Tears stream down my face and my breathing is erratic, but I don’t really notice because I’m on the verge of hysteria by this time.

“Grace, I swear I didn’t know. Paul said you were grocery shopping with Ms. Allen. I had to go, Grace. I couldn’t wait around. Yes, I trusted Paul to relay the message to you because he was doing me a favor. He promised he would tell you, and I had no reason to doubt him. I never saw him be mean to you; I honestly thought you made that stuff up because you were jealous of our friendship. Please, Gracie, please understand I did everything I could under the circumstances,” Scott desperately pleads.

I remember that day. It was the first and last time I ever went grocery shopping with Ms. Allen. I was pissed because Ms. Allen chose me to go with her to bag all the groceries, load them in the car, carry them into the house, and put everything away. She usually had three or four kids help her, but that day it was only me.

As I was making what felt like the hundredth trip back to the car, I watched Paul whisper to Ms. Allen before she looked at me and started laughing. I knew they were talking about me - duh, it was quite obvious, but I had no idea they were keeping vital information from me. My blood begins to boil as I think of them standing there smugly, holding on to the secret that would’ve altered the destructive path my life was about to take. How could they have been so cruel? What did I ever do to them to make them hate me that much? And yet Paul was the one Scott trusted to give me the most important message of my life. I begin to wonder if Scott ever really cared about me or if I was just a group home distraction.

Scott must think my silence means I’m agreeing with him because he continues, “I was out of time, Grace. I couldn’t come back because I had a plane to catch. Imagine how I felt when you never contacted me! Sure, I could’ve reached out to you again, but why should I have? I figured the ball was in your court and that if you really wanted me in your life, you would’ve contacted me. I was so distraught that I almost ruined my career!” Oh, hell no! He’s
not
going to turn this around and play the victim! 

I take a deep breath and with as much righteous indignation as I can muster, I tell him, “Scott, thank you for finally making things clear for me. Now I know you are nothing but a no-good-piece-of-shit asshole, and I can get on with my life.” I don’t wait for a response; I simply end the call. It is then that I allow myself to succumb to the pain and disappointment. My tears begin to flow with a renewed urgency, and I can’t control myself any longer.

I’m balled up in the corner of the living room when my phone alarm goes off letting me know it’s time to get Scottie. I start to feel a little guilty for hanging up on Scott and calling him names.  I shouldn’t be because he’s the one who let me down. He messed up, not me. He didn’t wait for me. He could’ve waited. If he truly cared about me, he would’ve come back or at least tried calling me, right? I shake my head. I can’t do this now or I’ll break apart again. I need to gather myself quickly and focus on my child. I grab my keys and get into the car. I pull down the visor so I can take a look at myself; I notice my eyes are puffy and red. I put my shades on so Scottie won’t notice I’ve been crying.

I pick up Scottie, and soon his good spirits and positive energy help me put Scott in the back of my mind.

“Mom, it’s the weekend. Can we go out tonight? Please? Everyone is going to see
Big Hero 6
!” I’ve seen the previews, but I forgot to mention it to Tony.

“Well, let’s ask Daddy when he gets home if he’d like to go.”

“Okay, Mom. Did Daddy do something to make you cry?” I’m so shocked that I can’t answer him at first.

“No, Scottie. Daddy didn’t do anything. Why would you ask that?”

“You have sunglasses on.” I start laughing to hide my discomfort.

“Oh, sweetie, everything’s fine. It was a little too sunny when I was on my way to get you.” He doesn’t respond back. My son is too smart for his own good. I guess I need to come up with a new trick.

“Did your daddy ever make your mommy cry?” Scottie asks quietly and timidly. I’m caught so off-guard by his question that I almost slam on my brakes.

“Scottie! Why are you asking questions about daddies making mommies cry?” I look in my rearview window to see Scottie shrug his shoulders with tears in his eyes.

I notice an empty church parking lot up ahead, so I put my signal on to pull into it. Once I’m stopped, I unfasten my seatbelt so I can face my son. Scottie won’t look at me, and it breaks my heart to see him so conflicted about something. I sit there quietly, waiting for my little boy to reveal what’s weighing down his heart.

“Where are my grandparents? How come I never see your mommy and daddy or daddy’s mommy and daddy? All my friends get to see their grandparents and get hugs and kisses and presents, but I’m the only one who doesn’t. Don’t they want to see me?” Scottie’s sadness and frustration spill over as tears stream down his precious cheeks, and his fists clench tightly.

I rack my brain for a second. Have we really never had this discussion with Scottie? Why did it never occur to me or Tony to tell our son about our own parents? My heart breaks to know that Tony and I caused our little boy to cry, then my heart accelerates as I realize that I’m the one who has to explain our past to Scottie and take away a little bit of his worldly innocence.

Taking a deep breath, I begin, “Scottie, I’m really sorry that Daddy and I didn’t tell you about our parents. It’s not because we didn’t want you to know about them, but because we get sad when we think about them.”

“Were they bad people? Did they hurt you and Daddy?” Scottie’s eyes are huge as he thinks the worst of his grandparents. Well, he’s right about one set at least.

“No, Scottie. Your daddy’s parents were wonderful. They were kind, generous, loving, and fun – just like Daddy.  They loved their son with all their hearts and gave him the best they could.” Tears clog my throat as I think of the people who would’ve been my in-laws. Oh, how I wish they were here! But, then, I wouldn’t have met Tony…

Scottie smiles as he remarks, “Good. I’m glad Daddy had a nice mommy and daddy. But, why don’t I see them?”

“When your daddy was younger, they were in a terrible accident. Daddy’s parents died and left him all alone even though they didn’t want to.”