Runaway Love (5 page)

I look over my shoulder and watch my husband deep in conversation, drinking his beer. I smile just looking at him because when he’s passionate about what he’s talking about, he becomes so animated. I love seeing him so calm, and relaxed, and normal. Kim and I start playing pool until I notice the breaking news on the flat screen television that’s above the bar. It’s on a sports network, and the broadcasters are talking about soccer. I put the pool stick down as I listen to the commentator talk about Scott and the drunken brawl he got into at a bar last night. Because everyone is so loud around me, I can’t hear everything that is being said, but I can read the ticker on the bottom of the screen:

Former bad boy soccer player, Scott Peters, returning to his old ways…

I’m so intent on trying to hear the broadcasters debate back and forth about the “old” Scott and the “new” Scott that I don’t even notice my husband come up behind me.

“Since when did you become interested in a sport other than shopping?” I turn around and look at Tony. He has a relaxed look on his face with a teasing smile, so it’s difficult for me to tell what he’s really thinking.

“Oh, I’m not. I was just watching them discuss some brawl at a bar. It looked pretty interesting,” I respond as nonchalantly as possible as I walk back to the pool table, acting as if I could care less.

“Yeah, Scott Peters is really good. I’m not a soccer fan, but I’ve heard about him a few times. I guess he was a complete asshole in the beginning, but later he got himself back on track. I hope he doesn’t go backward.” I begin to wonder if Tony is just saying this to see what my response is, but I quickly put that thought out of my mind. I would know if Tony knew about Scott.

“Well, I hope he stays on the right path then.” I finish playing a round of pool before I tell Tony I’m ready to go home. Kimberly’s mad of course, but I can’t stay because I need to lie down and curl up with Tony. I need to feel my safety net around me.

When I feel like I’m going to cry, I tend to cling to Tony. I know it’s wrong on so many levels, but it’s what’s right for me; it’s what I need. We have a silent ride back home, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

“I’m going to grab myself a beer. Would you like some wine?” Tony asks as we settle into our quiet, empty house. It feels so different not having Scottie here, even though he’d be sleeping at this time. Just knowing my son isn’t under the same roof as I am is disconcerting. Geesh, what am I going to do when he goes off to college?

“Yes, baby, I’ll take a glass of wine. Full, please.” Tony laughs as he heads toward the kitchen. I turn the TV on and once again Scott is on the screen. I look into his hazel eyes, and I see that he’s drunk. He’s cursing at the paparazzi trying to take pictures of him as they shout questions at him. I shake my head. I can’t watch this anymore. I don’t want to care about Scott acting out and thinking that it might be my fault. He abandoned me. I turn the channel and find
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
on.

“No, not a Brad and Angelina movie,” Tony whines as he sets down our drinks. I laugh and toss the remote to him.

“Then you find something, you big crybaby,” I tease.

“Oh, this is what we’re going to do? Name calling?” He starts to tickle me knowing full well that I’m very ticklish.

“Stop, Tony! Cut it out before I spill the wine!” I’m laughing as he pulls away and looks at me. God, I love this man! I feel my pussy getting wet as I watch him come closer to me with intense desire in his eyes. Yes, this is what my body needs right now…

“You know you want my tongue on your body… Or do you want my lips?” He murmurs right before he licks my face!

“TONY!” I scream and run upstairs with him following close behind me.

We make it to the hallway floor when he tackles me. “Do you remember when we reconnected after you left Ms. Allen’s?”

“Of course. I could never forget. I needed a place to crash, and you and your
girlfriend
gave me a place to stay.” He starts to laugh.

I remember that day because I called him, and he immediately told me to bring my things without asking any questions. I knew it was because Tony liked me, but I wasn’t interested in him. I just needed a place to stay.

“Yeah, she was just a roommate I was fucking until you came and turned my world upside down.” I laugh awkwardly because at that time, I thought it was funny how he’d do anything and everything to get my attention, but I only wanted Scott. Yes, I found Tony’s feelings for me amusing, and I know I used those feelings to my advantage. Hell, I still do. Remember, I’ve already admitted to being fucked up.

“Do you remember when you found me on that bridge when I was drunk as hell in the rain?” All I can remember about that night is wanting to die while Tony confessed his love for me. He was pleading and begging me not to jump from the bridge. He said he’d always take care of me and be everything I needed. He made the greatest promise of all: that he’d never leave me. To this day, I don’t know if I would’ve done it if Tony hadn’t talked me down, but I know he saved me from my insecurities and deepest fears.

“How could I forget it? You were trying to leave me alone in this world because you were unhappy for some reason. I had to confess how I truly felt about you. When that man answered your phone when I called you and said you were about to jump, I drove like a mad man trying to get to you in time. I thought my life was going to end that night, too.” I start to cry as I get up off the floor, but Tony pulls me back down.

“Let’s go to bed, crybaby.”

“Not yet. I want to make love to you right here on this floor.” He kisses me, and I relax into his embrace. We make love on the floor over and over. Our bodies always seem to know exactly what to do when we’re together. Only Tony can fill the aching loneliness that resides within me, just beyond my grasp. As we reach our climaxes together, I feel complete, like I’m where I’m meant to be. I don’t know how I wound up in bed some time later, but when I wake up in Tony’s arms, I drift right back to sleep with the precious gift of knowing everything is fine as long as Tony is with me.

I feel Scottie jumping on the bed to wake me up. “I’m up. I’m up, son. I’m happy you’re back home! I missed you,” I say drowsily. I can barely open my eyes as Scottie sits down and moves the hair out of my face.

As soon as he knows I’m paying attention to him, he starts speaking a mile a minute! “Yay! Mom is up! I missed you! I had so much fun at Patrick’s! We played on his xBox. When can we get an xBox? And his dad let me ride on his four-wheeler with him. That was so much fun! I wore a helmet even though I didn’t like it. We stayed up late and ate popcorn with M&Ms. Oh, Daddy is cooking again.” Oh, Lord! Let me get up before Tony burns the house down.

“I’m going down right now. Oh, and Scottie, I’m glad you had so much fun!” I get up, grab my robe, and head downstairs. I smell bacon, and I pray it’s not burnt.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” I nod and sniff as I look around the kitchen. I’m pleasantly surprised to realize Tony didn’t burn or break anything.

“Umm…Who you are and what did you do with my husband?” Scottie and Tony start laughing.

“I cooked this by myself. I took my time,” Tony tells me, puffing out his chest like a proud peacock. Scottie and I giggle at him. These are the moments I live for!

“Wow, this looks amazing. Let’s hope it tastes yummy, too!” I wink at my guys as they finish setting the plates of eggs, toast, hash, and bacon on the table. I sit down, quite impressed, and Scottie brings me over some flowers.

“I picked these outside before I came in from Patrick’s. I missed you, Mommy, but just a little bit.” Scottie gives me a huge bear hug before sitting in his seat.

“Oh my! Thank you, Scottie, these are beautiful!” I don’t know what made today so special, but I’m not going to question all the wonderful attention!

We sit at the table and enjoy the delicious breakfast Tony made. After we clean up, Tony pulls the Wii out so we can play family baseball. These are the moments that make me forget about my past! Tony and Scottie move on to Wii tennis, so I take a minute to check my email. I’m disappointed that I don’t have any new messages, but I close my laptop before I’m tempted to send Scott an email to see how he’s doing. I tell myself that I shouldn’t care, that I
don’t
care. I’m about to take my place against Scottie, the tennis champion, when my phone chimes with a new text message. I’m surprised when I discover it’s from Scott.

Scott:

I’m in the US. I had love to see you. Can you meet me somewhere? You pick time and place. I’ll be there. Promise.

I read it again before I lock my screen. Do I really want to open that door again? Will he even understand the pain I’ve been going through? Does he even care? I’d like to pretend that I don’t know what to do, but I know what my decision is, without a doubt. I’d never turn down Scott or tell him no, even if he did break my heart. I get up to pour myself a little bit of wine and go back to pay some attention to Scottie as he continues to beat Tony in tennis.

I think about how and where I can see Scott. He’s famous in England, but I don’t think the paparazzi will seek him out here during the day. I’ll have to find a nice, low-key place where both of us can go undetected... I send him a quick message letting him know I’ll decide where to meet tomorrow.

Yesterday seemed to go by so quickly. I’m a little anxious this morning, and I hope it doesn’t show because Tony reads me so easily, and I don’t need him staying home to check on me. I drop Scottie off at school and send Scott a text to meet me at the National Park. I rush back home to change into a cute dress and comfortable flats. I pull my hair up in a ponytail and apply some makeup to highlight my features. I’m so incredibly nervous, but I can do this. I’ve waited for this moment for so long that I don’t even know what to say or how to act. Do I hug him, shake his hand, kiss his perfect lips, or smack the ever living shit out of him? All I know for sure is that I need to ask some questions and he, unfortunately, holds all the answers.

I pull up, and I check myself one more time in the mirror. I take a deep breath before I get out of my car and stand on my shaky legs. Geesh, I’m surprised I’m not causing an earthquake right now! I look around until I notice Scott sitting on a bench under some trees. I’m thankful he chose a discreet location without a lot of people nearby. I walk over and get my first good look at him - short brown hair, clean shaven, chiseled face, sun-kissed skin, muscles so big I can see them underneath his V-neck T-shirt. I cough and he looks up at with his unforgettable hazel eyes that momentarily take my breath away. He looks like he’d been lost in thought and needs a moment to gather himself, so I give him an encouraging smile.

“Grace, is that you?” I blush because he doesn’t even recognize me anymore.

“Yes, Scott, it’s me.” He grabs me and pulls me in for a tight hug then spins me around in the air. I didn’t expect that, really, so I’m stiff in his arms.  He puts me down, and I don’t know how to respond. He just totally ruined my agenda.

“Let’s go for a walk on the trail,” I offer as a suggestion to break the tension between us. I hope walking along private paths will encourage us to talk more openly.

I can’t stop looking up at him; he had quite a growth spurt! He’s so different from the skinny, athletic kid I used to hang out with. I guess that’s what money and success can do for a person! We walk until we reach another set of benches, and I decide to rest. We still haven’t talked.

“Grace, does your husband know you’re out here with me?” Really? Is he
really
asking me that? 

I give him a dubious look as I exclaim hotly, “Of course Tony doesn’t know! Do you really think my husband would allow me to come meet up with the man who’s owned my entire heart and soul all these years? No! He doesn’t know anything, and I intend to keep it that way!” Scott shakes his head and turns toward me.

“Grace, I could hear the hurt in your voice when we talked the other day, and it really affected me. I was totally taken by surprise by what you said, so I knew we needed to talk about this once and for all. We both deserve to know the truth about what happened.”

“What truth, Scott? The
only
truth I need to know is that you didn’t bother to wait for me! I have nothing else to reveal! I didn’t do anything to cause you pain or destroy your entire being!
You
left
me
! No, you
ABANDONED
me like my parents did! You could’ve come back for me; you should’ve come back for me, no matter what you thought I knew or didn’t know. I was only fifteen when you left! Did you ever consider that maybe I couldn’t contact you because something was wrong? NO! You went off and lived your life the way you wanted to live it – with no baggage and no responsibilities while I – while I…” I am cry-yelling by this point and almost on the verge of hyperventilating. I try to take deep breaths while I take in the hurt, regret, and sadness in Scott’s eyes. I have more I want to say, but I just can’t speak anymore right now. He puts his hand on my arm to try to calm me, but I shake him off. I’m a hell of a lot stronger than he’ll ever know!