Authors: DeLaine Roberts
“Of course, Grayson, I...” he shushed me with his lips. Those sexy lips taking mine, like he owned me, this time he was lavishing my mouth with his tongue and biting my lower lip, our hands were in each other's hair, he was nibbling my neck, and then, he slid one of his hands down my back and rested it on my backside pulling me as tight as possible to him.
“I can’t get enough of you Alexandra. You are simply beautiful. I am drawn to you. I have been ever since I turned the corner in my office and laid eyes on you. Your red hair is breathtaking. Your glorious green eyes talk to me. I long to touch your creamy white skin and gorgeous long legs, and this delicate backside of yours. I don’t want to let you go. Will you stay here with me tonight?”
“Grayson, um, I...I don’t know.” he held up his finger to my lips.
“Shh, Alex, please don’t say no. I am not expecting anything. I just want the time with you alone, whatever it takes. I just need time with you! Please say you will give me that?”
“Grayson there are things about me that you don’t know and may not understand. I don’t know how to say this,” at this point I am trembling so bad that he has to hold me tight just so that I can stay standing.
Guiding me to his black leather sofa, “Come sit with me, just enjoy the music and relax, you don’t have to say anything. Just let me hold you.” He was running his finger down my bare arm and holding my hand with the other. Gently leaving tiny butterfly kisses on my temple and taking long breaths in my hair. It was as if he was drinking me in with all of his senses.
“It’s been awhile since I have met someone that enjoys so many of the same things that I do and also can appreciate my chosen profession as a breast surgeon without being jealous. You understand the challenges that come with such a sensitive subject. I can talk shop with
you, you get it, I can talk sports, and you get that too! You are a guy’s gal, the complete package. I am surprised some lucky guy hasn’t snatched you up by now?”
“Well, I haven’t found the right person that can deal with my love for the Chicago Bears!” Trying to laugh and keep it simple. But the way he was looking at me I could tell he wanted to know me inside and out. Realizing before we could go any further, I would have to let him know I was packing baggage. If he decided that he couldn’t deal with all of me, I needed to know now before it hurt too bad to let go. I was used to men walking out on me once they knew my story, once they knew I was damaged goods. It still amazes me to this day to see how shallow people are!
“Grayson, there is something you must know.” My voice quivering and my lips trembling, I paused taking a big sip of wine, “I have never had an adult...um, sexual experience. This is very hard for me, I’m sorry.” I paused and took a deep breath of courage. “When I was 16, I was raped and I have never been with anyone since. I have tried and can never get past my anxiety. It just comes over me in a panic attack.” Before I could stop, I jumped up and ran out the door, running so fast, not even realizing that I ran out of my shoes and left my purse.
I bolted to my apartment and the door was unlocked, grateful that Cooper was home early. I ran in screaming and sobbing hysterically. My makeup is a mess.
“Alexandra what the hell happened?” Cooper ran into the kitchen, grabbing me.
“What the hell did that son-of-a-bitch do to you? Where is he, I will?”
“NO. STOP. He didn’t do anything. It was me, I had...am having an attack. When I told him what happened to me, and” sobbing erratically, I sunk to the floor, while Coop held on to me.
“Slow your breathing down, Alex. I will get your medicine” mumbling under his breath, “Just freakin’ great, her nightmares will start all over again.” I suddenly realized that we were not alone.
Cooper had company, I just interrupted his evening with Mark, and I must have left the door open because Grayson is standing in my entry hall holding my purse and shoes. He looks completely withered.
Cooper returns with my medicine, turns to Grayson asking him to come in and close the door. “Hey Doc, she will be out cold in less than 30 minutes on that stuff, so I will just help her get in to bed and then you and I can have a nice long chat.” As he helps me off the floor, he starts to lead me to my room.
“I want Grayson to come too. Oh, and Mark, I am so, so sorry.” Pausing in between sobs, “Coop will fill you in and I promise I will make it up to you both.”
Being the gentleman that he is, Grayson bends down, scoops me
up, and carries me in to the bedroom with Cooper giving him a gritty-eye look and following close behind us. It was going to become the battle of the caretaker, Grayson being the good doctor that he is and Cooper always being my savior.
Coop pulled out my Chicago Bears t-shirt and yoga pants. He helped me get my skirt off while Grayson fidgeted with the TV remote in my room. I have no idea if he snuck a peek or not, at that moment the meds were kicking in and I didn’t care. Besides, it is what he sees everyday at the office.
Grayson’s voice was barely audible, “Alexandra, what do you want me to do, do you want me to go, need me to stay? What, what can I do? However, I can tell you this, if you are trying to scare me off, it’s not working.”
I didn’t know when Coop left us alone, but he wasn’t in my room that I could see. I was all snug in my bed and Grayson was sitting on the edge of the bed by me. He was just looking at me with the most alluring blue eyes. There was no sign of fear, no sign that he would run away from me.
“I'm really sorry Grayson. I didn’t handle that well. Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Alexandra, I am here for you and I’m not going anywhere” and then, the fog set in and I disappeared into dreamland.
I woke up early in the morning before dawn. The delicious aroma of something cooking smelled heavenly. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Grayson was not in my room, but my spare pillow and a blanket was folded neatly on the bench at the foot of the bed. I suppose he spent some time or even the night here, I’m not sure, but he was gone now.
I walk in to the kitchen and there to my shock is Coop,
Mark, and Grayson cooking breakfast and chatting away. It sounded like a frat house!
“Hey, what is this? A slumber party and I am not invited?” Trying to find my humor.
“And a good morning to you too, Alexandra” Grayson says to me as he walks over and hands me a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, planting the sweetest kiss to my forehead.
“Down the juice and sip the coffee, as you get a shower, Dr.’s orders. When you come out we will get you something to eat, does an egg white omelet and artisan toast sound good?”
“Grayson, have you been here all night?”
“Yes, I said I would not leave you; although, I did this morning while I went for a run, home to shower and change. I don’t know how you’re feeling this morning, but if you’re still up to it today, we have
four cases in the O.R. starting in 90 minutes. So move it soldier,” pausing to kiss me again quickly, like he’s 14 and trying to get up his courage for a first kiss with an audience. “IF and that’s only IF, you feel up to it?”
“I do. I can’t wait. Be out in a few minutes.”
No need for glamour since we are going to be in the O.R. all day. However, I did want to look perkier, so I applied a facial scrub to bring back some color to my cheeks and put my hair in a ponytail. I pulled on my scrubs and Danskos', the most comfortable shoes on the planet, and some pretty coral lip-gloss.
The kitchen was bustling and the guys seemed to be in control. The fresh baked bread with an omelet was just the right remedy. I haven’t felt more relaxed and more excited about a
workday in so long. Well I simply can’t remember a day starting like this.
Bidding
good day to Coop and Mark, I grabbed my purse and rummaged for my keys walking out the door with Grayson.
“Alexandra, I will drive you today since you will be with me all day.”
“But...”
“No buts, Alexandra. You took strong pills very late last night and it is early morning. They are still in your system. If you need to leave for any reason, I will get you a cab, but for now, you are riding with me. Understood?”
“Absolutely. Thank you for being here and for not running away from me?”
“Alexandra, I have told you I am not going anywhere. Just so you know, I’m not a stalker, but I also don’t beg, ever. So if you tell me straight out that you want nothing to do with me, then yes, I’ll take a hike. However, if you are as interested in me as I am you, then we will work through our issues.”
He drowns out the noise of the traffic with the smooth music on his iPod, holding my hand and stroking my knuckles with his thumb. Just then, Lover
You Should’ve Come Over
starts playing in the background and both of us seem to be lost in the music and drift off in our thoughts. Listening to the words of the song on Grayson’s playlist tells me that maybe he too, has an unlucky-in-love story, and that I am not the only one dragging a
spent love cart
behind me. I want to get to know Grayson more and explore my feelings that are developing for him. I want to know the man that cares for his patients as much as I have seen in him so far. I want to know why he isn’t married already. Or has he been divorced and does he have children? I want to know about his family life, his ARMY life, boxers, or briefs. Seriously, my mind just went there and I am thinking boxers! This guy is under my skin, like I have never known. When he touches me, I tingle in delicate places, which is a first for me. I have never experienced a burning, yearning desire deep within my inner goddess before. My brain always kicks in and I’m always running away.
Pulling in to the Physician parking lot, we received a few looks from other physicians when Grayson got out and opened my door before I could do it on my own.
“Grayson, people are looking. We need to remain professional. I don’t need hospital gossip or a conflict affecting my work!”
“Alexandra, I get it but it’s just a door and I still believe in chivalry!” His look was as stern as his tone.
The surgery team was none the wiser for the first case, as things ticked along like clockwork. However as the day progressed, the team began to give funny looks to each other. I am sure it was because Grayson had become very friendly and was in the best mood. He talked to me throughout the procedures and even sang along to the music playing on his iPod throughout the room. I am sure that they could feel the chemistry between us. In fact, at one point, the anesthesiologist looked over at me and winked. He was on to it, on to us. I’m sure of it.
We finished the last case around
two and he still had rounds to make. So I waited for him in his office, the ill-fated break room again. This time, Zoe and Millie joined me from time-to-time to chat in-between calls and charts.
Zoe took the time to stop in and try to give me sisterly advice. “Alex, Grayson has been in the best mood ever since he met you. I can tell already that he is very interested in you. Did he tell you why he moved to Dallas?”
“He said you were here.”
“Alex, there are things you need to know. Grayson was finishing up his commitment to the Army when he met a drug rep, Olivia, at a conference in Chicago. She was in the process of relocating back here with a new job
. They became serious, he moved here when the Army released him to start his practice. They quickly became engaged. The week before their wedding, he discovered that she was sleeping around: guys from the gym, other physicians, and guys from her company. It wasn’t pretty. Grayson was devastated, trust is a big deal to him, and the whole thing rocked him to his core. Emotionally, he just ran away.”
“How long ago was this, Zoe?”
“Last December. You are the first person he has given the time of day to since this happened. He even refuses to see reps because of it. Believe me, there are a ton of female reps that parade in and out of here vying for his attention, to no avail. Just so you know the life that you have put back in to him in just a few days is nothing short of wonderful. I hope you understand his pain and will take it easy on him.”
“He’s a stubborn one. I had a hard time getting in to see him. I have come here so many times, always sent packing by the front desk police!” We both laughed.
“Alex, he is obviously smitten with you. That must be some serious witchcraft you are practicing! You have put him under a spell! Just take it easy on him, be patient. Sometimes he has a hard time communicating how he feels and he just shuts down instead of talking it out. Grayson is great communicating with his patients, but the rest of the world, not so much. He just bolts! When he gets mad at me, he goes forever without saying anything, not like holding a grudge mind you, but rather, just avoids conversation completely.”
“Zoe, I am not a witch, so no worries about putting spells on him and secondly, he is not the only one packing baggage. I have my own issues that warrant a slow start. You love him and I appreciate you wanting him to be happy. I just hope that you will be willing to give him, us, whatever this is, some space. After all, geez, it has only been a few hours!” We both enjoyed a laugh, after which, I began to feel more relaxed. We started discussing all my witchcraft efforts and began to lose our minds giggling. We were still giggling and having a sisterly chat when Grayson made his way back to the office.