Sacred Serenity (Lotus House Book 2) (15 page)

Tugging my book bag up my shoulder, I turned the corner to where the classroom was and found Landen leaning near the door, standing on one Converse-clad foot, the other perched against the wall. When he saw me, he smiled and pushed off the wall.

“Hey you, where have you been? I haven’t seen you since we went to the pub.”

“Oh, yeah. I had a conflict with class the other day and met with my advisor. Professor O’Brien approved it. Apparently, all the newbies have an advisor around this time to make sure they focus their goals and academics on the right area of study.”

His eyes widened. “Did you pick one? A specialty?”

I grinned and nodded. It seemed stupid, but I kind of wanted to tell Dash first. Nevertheless, I really was bursting at the seams to share.

“Well, what did you choose?”

“Guess?” I quirked an eyebrow and shoved at his chest playfully. Landen and I were buds. I think.

He grinned and then tapped a finger on his lips. “Obstetrics and gynecology!”

I shook my head. “Nope. Peds!”

“Woo hoo!” he whooped, wrapped his arms around me, and spun me in a circle.

I giggled, and he set me back on my feet but didn’t let me go. He held both of my biceps and ducked his head close to mine. “That is so fantastic. Are you happy?”

“Yes and no. I’m still nervous I may have chosen wrong, but I couldn’t choose based on something that happened to my mother. I love kids. Want to have a gaggle of them.”

He smiled. “You planning to have a big family with that man who picked you up? The giant who claimed to be your boyfriend?” His lips pinched together into a thin line.

“I’m sorry about Dash. Yes, he’s my boyfriend. But that night, I don’t know. I was worried that we’d lost something, and he wouldn’t understand…ugh, I’m not explaining very well,” I said, my shoulders dropping down heavily.

“It’s okay. I mean, hey, we’re friends, right?” He lowered his eyes to mine.

I brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. “Yeah, we’re friends. Totally.”

“So then if you’re not available, you’ll just have to hook me up with someone as hot as you.”

On that I laughed, hard, butting my forehead into his chest.

“I’m serious!” He patted me on the back up and down before curling a hand around my jaw.

I leaned back, looking into his eyes. They were lovely, like fresh-cut grass on a bright, sunny day.

“You’re a hard one to beat, too, so you better find me a good one,” he finished.

I tilted my head up, making sure he could see the sincerity in my face when I patted him over the heart. “Easy. You’re perfect to me. Any woman would fall all over herself to go on a date with you.”

A loud booming male voice interrupted us. “What do you think you’re doing, Landen?” his father grated through a hardened jaw and clenched teeth.

Landed pulled me against his side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I locked an arm around his waist, as uncomfortable with the professor’s tone as he was.

“Dad, what’s your problem? Amber and I are just talking.”

His eyes pinched together behind his thin-rimmed glasses. The curls in his dark brown hair had been cut close to his head, making his normally distinguished appearance more severe.

“Talking?” He huffed. “That’s not what it looked like.”

“Dad, it’s not what you think. And even if it were, who are you to say who I can and can’t date?”

“I’m your father!” he warned.

I could tell by the way his face had hardened and the blue vein that pulsed in his forehead that his father was beyond unhappy. Why, I didn’t know. Still I felt the need to butt in and clear up the misunderstanding.

“Professor O’Brien, sir. I’m not sure what you think you saw, but your son and I are friends. Good friends. That is all. I have a boyfriend with whom I’m very much in love. Landen was just asking me to set him up. However, I wouldn’t mind knowing why you think I’m wrong for your son. Have I done something that has made you think ill of me? Because if I have, please give me the opportunity to clear it up. We have several more years together, and I’d rather not have that time tainted with a misunderstanding.”

The professor’s shoulders curled in and slumped forward as he sighed. He pushed his glasses farther up his nose, centering them. “Amber, I’m sorry. It’s not you. We need to talk. Privately. Are you available after class?”

“Is this about my mother?” I asked, deadpan. It was what I wanted to know most from him, and he’d steadily avoided it since the day he mentioned her name. I was pretty sure he’d gone out of his way to ensure we wouldn’t discuss it.

His eyes widened, and his entire face paled the same way his brother’s had the other night in the bar.

“Landen, go on in. I’d like a word with Ms. St. James.”

“Are you going to be nice, Dad? Seriously. She deserves better than the way you’ve acted around her.”

He took a long breath. “Yes, son. She’s safe with me, and you’re right. She does deserve better. Hopefully, we can work some of that out. Go on in.”

Landen tugged me to his side and laid a friendly kiss on my temple. I watched as his dad’s nostrils flared. “I’ll be just inside if he starts being a brute again. Okay?”

I chuckled and patted his arm. “I’m fine, buddy. See you in class.” He left me alone with his dad, who did everything but speak to me for a full two minutes. He shuffled his feet, adjusted his collar, shook the coins in his pants, all while I waited, arms crossed over my chest, trying desperately not to scream or shake it out of him.

Eventually, I couldn’t wait any longer. “Are you finally going to discuss your problem or whatever your issue is with my mother? She’s dead, Professor. It’s not like she’s going to rise up and haunt you or anything.”

He shook his head and coughed into his hand. “Just like her. Quick wit and so damn bright. You know you’re probably the smartest student in the class?”

“Um, okay.” That being a bit of information I’d fist pump to later, like when sitting down to dinner with Dash and my grandparents tonight. “I’m sorry, but what does this have to do with my mother and your reaction to me because of her?”

The professor rubbed at the back of his neck and looked off to the side. “Amber, it has everything to do with your mom. Because if what I suspect is true, a lot is about to change.”

Right then, two of the girls from class scuttled up to us in a rush. “Sorry we’re late, Professor. Won’t happen again.”

He sighed and opened the door. “Can we continue this after class?”

A little niggle of dread tap danced its way up my back and settled on my shoulder. “Yeah, that’s fine, but my boyfriend will have to come. He’s picking me up for dinner. I’ll call my grandparents and change the time. Would an hour be fine?”

His lips pinched together. “Yeah, that should work fine. Thank you for waiting, Amber.”

“I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life.” I wanted to add…
to learn about my mother
when the words he said under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear, sent a stone the size of my car crashing on top of my chest, cracking my ribs open, and flattening my heart to a gooey mess.

“Me too.”

D
ash arrived right
at the tail end of class, as planned. He was waiting for me in the hall. I could see him through the open lecture hall door, his tall, muscular frame in a pair of black dress slacks and a lavender button-down shirt, sexy as sin. He looked positively edible leaning against the wall opposite the door, as could be attested to by the gaggle of women copping a look-see, flirting, or attempting to make eye contact as they passed him in the hall.

The best part was, he didn’t even give them a second glance. His eyes were on me and only me as I took each step slowly toward the top of the stairs to the exit.

“Hey, Cosmo.” I smiled huge, unable to contain it. “You look handsome.”

He winked and made a show of rolling up the arms of his dress shirt to display those golden forearms with the light smattering of dark blond hair. Yum.

“As do you, Dr. St. James.” He lifted an eyebrow, ramping up his sex appeal times about a gazillion.

“Oh, I like the sound of that,” I said, walking toward him. I didn’t stop until my breasts bumped against his chest.

“Then I shall address you as such more often, Doc.” He grinned.

I practically preened, looking up at him with a heaping dose of love and desire. How had this man so quickly become the center of my world?

Dash wrapped both arms around my waist and locked his wrists together over my bum. Then he did the ultimate. He leaned down, brushed his lips along mine, nuzzled my nose, and asked, “How’s my girl?”

Swoon.

Lord, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. I was born a sinner, and sin I will.

“Perfect, now that you’re here,” I whispered before curling a hand around his neck, rising onto my tiptoes, and kissing the daylights out of him.

If he was surprised, he didn’t act like it. No, my guy took over the kiss, hissing into my mouth like a snake ready to strike its unsuspecting prey.

I nibbled on Dash’s lips, alternating between licking and sucking the top then bottom, adding just enough pressure to get the lower half of his body in the game.

I’d learned a fact pretty quickly about Dash. He had absolutely no qualms about PDAs or public indecency for that matter. When he got in the mood to show his affection, he went for it. And me? Well, I was incapable of stopping that train once it left the station. Not that I’d even try.

His lips devoured mine while his hands gripped my ass in a firm squeeze, rubbing my groin against his hardening shaft. I gasped into his mouth and attempted to pull away, knowing I was in the hall at school and lacking all common sense. Dash would have none of it. He chased my mouth, wrapped a hand around a section of my hair, and tugged my head back far enough so that it was immobile, and I had to take his kiss.

Secretly, I loved when he turned alpha Neanderthal male. I found it wickedly sexy. He wasn’t demeaning me in the slightest. On the contrary. The man was so taken by our connection that he
worshipped
me wherever I stood. Public be damned. Now, if I could get him to keep these reactions to more private locations, we’d be set.

“Told you, Dad!” I heard Landen’s voice behind us.

I ripped my mouth away, but Dash only allowed us to separate a few inches. “Dash, um, we have company.” I hooked a thumb behind me.

He glanced over my shoulder. “I know. I’m deciding if I care.”

Oh no, he didn’t. “Seriously, rude!” I growled into his face, fisted his shirt, and pushed off. Finally, he let me go. By go, I mean he allowed me to shift to his side where he wrapped one hand around my shoulders and the other he splayed low on my belly. Very low. Too low to be considered just friendly.

Professor O’Brien smacked his hands together, the loud clap echoing off the mostly empty hallway. “Well, I guess I owe you an apology, son,” he said.

Landen nodded and smiled smugly.

I did my best not to roll my eyes at his immaturity. However, I did think it was funny that I was the only one who noticed the professor didn’t actually apologize, just said he owed Landen one. Point for Dr. O’Brien.

Whatever worked for them. I didn’t want to get them going at it again, especially in front of Dash if it had anything to do with the concept of Landen and me in a romantic sense. Not that I understood why it would be an issue. I mean, I never thought I was much of a catch before, but I definitely wasn’t a dog. Also, he had told me I had the highest intellect in class, so what was I lacking? Not that it mattered per se, other than the fact that it irked me not knowing.

“Ms. St. James, would you be so kind as to join me in my office?”

Landen blinked. “Why? I thought we were having dinner with Mom?” His tone was curious but lacked any knowledge of whatever his father had to say about my mother.

“Son, go on home and tell your mother I’ll be there within the hour. I have a matter to discuss with Ms. St. James.”

Landen tucked his hands into his pockets, looked at his dad, then me, and finally Dash. I don’t know what he saw in Dash’s eyes, but whatever it was got him to move along because the next thing he said was a grumbled, “Fine, see you in class on Wednesday, Amber.”

“Yeah, see ya. Thanks for the help with the A and P today. I owe you one.” Anatomy and Physiology could be tricky when the sole focus was the nervous system.

“Score me a date with a girlfriend of yours and we’re even!” He laughed, walking backward toward the turn in the hallway.

I shook my head and looked at Dash. “Professor O’Brien wants to talk to me about my mother. Would you, you know, like to sit in?”

Please say yes. Please say yes.

Dash cupped my cheek. “Amber, I told you whatever you need, I’m your guy. When you’re uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t mind if I join you, do you?” Dash geared the question to my instructor.

Dr. O’Brien rubbed at the back of his neck and yanked at his collar again. Looking more closely, I noticed a layer of darkened strands at his hairline. Either he was nervous or sweating due to being overheated, and frankly, the temperature in the building felt just fine to me.

“If Amber is okay sharing very private information with you, then it’s okay with me.”

Dash threaded his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand so we were palm to palm. “Lead the way.”

The professor walked in front of us and led us down two barren hallways to a row of offices. Each door had frosted glass with a different doctor’s name on it. I recognized a couple of them from the program syllabus. They’d likely be one of my instructors for certain portions of the coursework. Dr. O’Brien couldn’t teach every specialty. He had to bring in experts in the different fields beyond general medicine and emergency care.

He opened the door to his office and turned the light on. The room was chaotic, to put it mildly. Bookcases ran the length of both walls, making the room feel closed in and dark. A single window on the back wall was covered with shutters closed tight so you couldn’t even gauge whether it was dark or light outside. On his desk were books, stacks of files, and bits of paper with words scrawled on them. Only a small eight-by-ten-inch space in front of him was bare for working. Even a chair in the corner was filled to the brim with a stack of books, a wayward plant that could have used a cup of water, or twelve, and a hat that was teetering on the edge of the seat just waiting for a strong wind to push it over.

“Nice digs,” Dash commented dryly.

The doctor glanced at the two chairs sitting in front of his desk. Both of them held stacks of files and other odds and ends.

“Sorry, Landen’s my TA, but I haven’t let him into my office to organize me. The last time he came in here, I couldn’t find anything for a month.”

I chuckled. “What did he do? Toss your stuff?”

He shook his head while clearing the files off the chairs and stacking them on an already leaning pile at the edge of his solid wood desk.

“No, he put it in order.”

“Blasphemy,” Dash joked, and the doctor actually laughed.

“All joking aside, it’s…”

“Organized chaos. Looks like my desk at home. Drives my grandparents insane. I’m meticulous with my room, clothes, study habits, but my desk is an utter nightmare to anybody…”

“But you.” He pointed at me, a strange look crossing his eyes.

I tilted my head. “Yep.”

“Birds of a feather,” Dash said, grabbing my hand across the chair and pressing his lips together in a small air kiss.

Professor O’Brien sat down across from us and positioned his hands on top of the desk. He looked me straight in the eye and proceeded to blow my God-loving mind.

“Back when your mother was nineteen or twenty, she and I had an affair. For a year.”

“Holy shit!” I said out loud. The plan was to stay quiet while Amber and the doc discussed his knowledge of her mother’s past, but him stating he’d had an affair with her was not at all what I’d expected.

Amber opened her mouth, closed it, and then swallowed. “Excuse me?” she whispered.

He ran a hand through unruly hair that had bits of gray at the sides. “It was my first year teaching Anatomy and Physiology, just about mid 1990s. Kate, your mother, was in my class. She was a sophomore. As a second-year student in my program, Kate was my first choice to be my teacher’s assistant.”

Oh Christ. I knew where this was going before he even said it. The old “late one night…things got out of hand.” I could already hear the excuses a mile away.

As it was, Amber was squeezing the life out of my hand. I would have pulled her into my lap to give her the extra touch I knew she needed right then to ground her, but she’d never approve. Definitely not in front of her instructor. Instead, I ran my thumb along her wrist to remind her I was there, listening, and ready to battle any demons that might surface with this new information.

“Go on.” Amber’s voice was raspy, emotion already starting to muddle her beautiful timbre.

“Kate was top of her class, like you. Bright, had the entire world ahead of her.” He took a slow breath and sighed as if he’d been waiting years to let the weight of this secret fall from his shoulders. “My wife and I were at odds, separated. I was living in a hotel and running back and forth between teaching, spending time with my six-month-old son, and trying to give her space.”

“You were married at the time? And you had Landen?” Amber closed her eyes and took several breaths.

Waves of painful energy banged against my psyche. My girl was not taking this information well, but she deserved to know the truth, and I was determined to help her through this until she got it all.

The doctor sighed. “I’m not proud of what we did. Not only was I ten years her senior, the breach of the teacher-student relationship unethical, I was cheating on my wife. Kate though, she had this way about her. She was convinced that we were meant to be and had I not already been married with an infant son, I’d have agreed with her. Hell, I
did
agree with her, in silence. I loved your mother deeply, Amber. Please know that. She was everything I’d ever wanted in a mate. She just came into my life too late.”

“So you carried on a relationship with Amber’s mother for a year, you said?”

He nodded. “Yes. My wife and I were separated almost immediately after having our son. She didn’t take his birth and being a mother well. She wanted to be at work where she was confident, strong and, in her mind, needed. Ultimately, she was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Only it took over a year for her to even remotely return to the woman I’d married eight years prior.”

Amber choked on a sob. “You’d been married eight years before you were with my mom?”

He licked his lips and looked away. “As I said, I’m not proud of the decisions I made. I can only say that your mother, there was something about her. I couldn’t
not
be with her. It was like she was gold dipped in liquid sunshine. Her warmth and love shone so bright, it blinded everything else in my world so that all I saw
was
her. She got me through the most difficult time in my life.”

If everything was all roses and rainbows between Kate and the professor, why’d she end up pregnant and alone? Oh no. Oh
hell
no. Dread so strong crawled up my throat and coated it with a thick slime. I could hardly breathe. There was just no way…

“Then why were you not together?” Amber sniffed, and he passed her a box of tissues. She wiped her eyes and licked her lips. “I’m okay. Go on.”

He clasped his fingers together in front of him. “Well, throughout the time I was with Kate, my wife was seeking help. She was officially diagnosed and then given antianxiety meds and antidepressants to help with the depression. Within a couple months, she was a new woman. The woman I married. The very same woman I had a child with. Our son…Landen…needed both parents. I couldn’t just give up on him.”