Sacred Waters (30 page)

Colin’s shoulders visibly tensed as he scowled at Braydon. His jaw ticked and everyone quieted not understanding his reaction.

“Colin,” Braydon began apologetically.

“I aught to kick your ass,” Colin growled.

“What the hell has gotten into you, Colin Francis McCullough?” their mother asked, appalled at her eldest son’s manners.

Braydon stood up and tipped his chin at their older brother. “Do it. I’d love an excuse to knock some sense into you.”

“Everybody sit down!” their father barked. “What the bloody hell is going on here?”

“Oh. My. God,” Sheilagh suddenly chimed in. “It’s not yours,” she said turning to Braydon.

“What’s not yours?” their mother asked.

“The baby,” Sheilagh informed the rest. “It’s Colin’s.”

As one, everyone slowly turned to face Colin. He at least had the decency to not deny it.

Their mother uttered a long drown out, “Ohhhh.” She looked to Sam, and Kelly almost laughed. His mother was clearly embarrassed for the girl. She looked down at her plate and gently said, “Oh, my poor girl, I know all my sons are handsome, but you’ve gone ahead and had yer fill now. How will we know who the father is? And—”

“Maureen, quiet,” his father interrupted. That was a first. He looked to Colin and asked, “Is this true, son?”

Colin nodded and their father looked to Braydon. “And you, Braydon? What is your part in all this?”

Blushing, Bray admitted, “The baby isn’t mine. I never thought it was. It would be impossible. I just didn’t correct all of you when you made the assumption.”

Everyone turned to Sam who kept her gaze glued to her lap. Colin finally stepped beside her and said, “All of you can just clam up and mind your own business for a spell. I need to talk to Sammy alone and she doesn’t need the rest of you passing judgment on her. If you want to judge anyone, judge me. I’m the only one who pretended to be something I wasn’t. She was never disloyal to me or to Braydon. If you don’t believe me, ask Bray, but we’re going up to my room and I don’t want anyone to interrupt us until we decide to come down.”

He took Samantha’s hand and helped her from the table. She looked at him a bit insecurely, but followed him nonetheless. As soon as they cleared the threshold everyone began talking at once.

Chapter Twenty-One

Sam stepped into Colin’s room and went right to the window. She had missed the view. The mountains were beautiful covered in snow. The trees looked like little confections sprinkled with powdered sugar.

The sound of the door shutting and the snick of the lock scattered all of her thoughts away. She turned and faced Colin.

“Colin, I’m so sor—”

He held up his hand. “Stop. I’ve had time to think, and I don’t want your apology.”

She swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “Okay,” she rasped.

“Do you want to sit?”

She didn’t want to feel more vulnerable, but she was starting to get Braxton Hicks, and the last thing she wanted to do was go into early labor before she made it home to her parents. So she nodded and sat down on the bed. He waited patiently as she arranged the pillows against the headboard and tried to get comfortable. There really wasn’t any comfort left at this stage of the pregnancy, but she fiddled with the pillows and tried for it anyway.

Colin let out an exasperated sigh and walked over to her.

“Here, let me.” He held her forward by the arm as he fluffed and placed the pillows so they wouldn’t slip behind the mattress.

“There,” he said softly and eased her back.

Sam sighed in pleasure and he watched her for a moment making her feel terribly exposed. When he looked at her like that she never knew how to look back. She had forgotten how quickly he could disarm her with a glance.

“God, you’re beautiful, Sammy. I tried to convince myself I was embellishing my memories of you, but really I wasn’t giving you enough credit.”

That was the first kind thing Colin had said to her since she arrived earlier. It was the first thing that even remotely reminded her of the man she thought he was, the man she fell in love with.

She couldn’t stop her tears. Her emotions were out of control, and she was too exhausted to combat them at the moment.

He pulled her into his arms and the sensation of him finally holding her again was too much. She cried long and hard for all the times she told herself he’d never touch her like this again.

“I am so sorry for the way I treated you earlier, Samantha. You didn’t deserve my anger or the cruel things I said. I’m sorry for acting like a complete arse.”

“I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know,” she babbled as she cried into his shoulder. “I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until October. Like an idiot I thought I was depressed and getting fat. I replaced you with two guys named Ben and Jerry. My mom was the one who brought it to my attention. By then I thought you were already ordained. I did try to look you up, I swear, but I wasn’t sure where to call. I found Saint Peter’s online and came across their bulletin and on the bottom I saw your ordainment. Why did they put it on the bulletin if you never went through with it?”

“They must have published it beforehand and never removed it. I planned on going through with it, but when the bishop asked me to swear to always love God above all others, I couldn’t. I knew it would be a lie. Remember how I told you I realized I wanted to become a priest when I discovered a certain passage in the bible?”

She nodded against his shoulder.

“It’s from the Old Testament. It says,
‘It becomes like a fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones: I grow weary of holding it in.’
That no longer represents my passion to serve God. It is my love for you that burns in my heart, hotter and stronger than any love I have ever known. You’re written into my bones and I realized in the past few months I would never be able to erase your presence inside of me. You have become a part of me and I love you so fiercely sometimes I fear it’ll swallow me whole and I’ll no longer recognize myself.”

He kissed the top of her head and down the side of her face.

“Oh, Sammy, I grow weary holding it all inside. So many times I wanted to say to hell with it all and come find you and demand you come back to me, but I didn’t think you would ever forgive me for letting you go. I was such a stupid fool to think I could wash away what we shared. I don’t think I will ever stop loving you and I don’t ever want to. That day of my ordainment, it was as though God was whispering to me, telling me he had a different plan. That plan was you, Sammy.”

His lips found the corner of her mouth and kissed her there. The familiar, almost forgotten touch filled her blood with such wanting she thought she would die if he stopped touching her.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her mouth.

“I’m sorry too.”

His fingers sifted through her hair and her ponytail loosened. He pulled her to him and kissed her hard as if he could not be gentle in that moment. She kissed him back with equal passion.

Her fingers went to the buttons of his flannel shirt and began quickly undoing them. His hands coasted down her back and held her firmly.

She felt like a whale when she tried to lean farther into him. She wanted to press herself against him, but her belly prevented her from doing so.

When she undid the last button she yanked his shirt off of his shoulders. He was bigger than before, more muscled, harder.

“I want to see you,” he breathed as he scattered kisses up the sensitive side of her neck and nibbled the lobe of her ear sending shivers through her body.

“I’m fat,” she whispered, as she ran her hands over his bared flesh.

He held her away from him and looked at her sternly, “No, Samantha, you are beautiful and that is my child you’re carrying. Do you know how magnificent that is to me, what a miracle it is to be creating life? Let me see you.”

Well, if he was going to put it that way… She lifted her shirt over her head then undid her hideously functional maternity bra. Tossing the offensive garment aside, she leaned back on her elbows and let him look his fill. His gaze was fixated on her belly. It was huge. Her belly button had somehow turned inside out and her skin was stretched thin.

He looked up at her in complete awe.

“You are the most stunning beauty I’ve ever looked upon. I don’t think I have ever even seen a painting of the Virgin Mary as breathtaking.”

She blushed when his focus moved to her breasts. They resembled nothing of what they were that summer.

“You’re nipples are darker,” he said and her blush intensified until she actually felt as though her face was on fire.

“The doctor says that’s normal.”

He looked at her with a mixture of excitement and curiosity. “And what about everything else? Have you had any other issues? Any trouble with anything? Does the doctor say you and the baby are healthy?”

“We’re both fine. Aside from a little heartburn I’ve had a fairly easy pregnancy. It makes me terrified for the delivery. I’m afraid because everything has been easy God will punish me with a thirty pound newborn.”

He laughed. “If it’s a boy he’ll likely be close to ten pounds. We were all big. But if she’s a girl, well, Sheilagh was only six-two. No matter what though, I’ll be there with you the whole time, Sammy. I’d take the pain for you if I could. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

Her heart elated at his words, but like a knee jerk emotion her mind told her not to believe having Colin would ever be possible.

“What are you thinking? You look sad.”

“I’m wondering if this is really happening, that I’m actually here with you. I’ve dreamed this moment, or moments like this, a thousand times, but my mind always tells me I’m an idiot for entertaining such fantasies.”

He cupped his palm to the side of her face. “My love for you is no fantasy, Samantha. It’s the most real thing I’ve ever known.”

For once, she shed tears of joy. “I love you too, Colin. Thinking I would never be able to touch you again, kiss you, laugh with you, swim with you, it was the worse hell I’ve ever known. I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

“Marry me. Be my wife, Samantha, and make me whole again. I’m miserable without you.”

She laughed through her tears. “I’ve never wanted to belong to a family the way I want to belong to yours. I want to belong to you. Yes, I’ll marry you, Colin McCullough.”

He kissed her, and she knew that everything would finally be okay.

When they pulled apart they gazed at each other with unrefined lust in their eyes and unconditional love in their hearts.

He carefully unlaced her shoes and placed them beside his bed. Strong fingers plucked her socks from her feet and tossed them aside. She tried not to blush when he pulled her pants and panties away leaving her completely nude before him. She wasn’t sexy. She could barely pull off sexy when she wasn’t pregnant, but the way he looked at her made her feel more desired than she ever thought possible.

He placed both hands over her belly, forming a heart with his fingers and thumbs around her bellybutton, and pressed a kiss there. She watched, mesmerized, as his thumb traced the sign of the cross over the tight flesh of her abdomen as if he were anointing their child, blessing their baby.

He whispered promises as he spread kisses over her flesh, to their child, to her, and to God, and when the intimate moment had passed into something too large to voice he finally stood.

He never took his gaze from hers as he removed his pants and the last of his clothing. Her gaze strayed, the intimate moment pressing into parts of her still tender from losing him. The last time they’d made love it had been dawn. She hadn’t looked at him. When she finally saw him in all his naked glory she swallowed hard.

Yes, that would definitely get a girl pregnant.

He reached for her. “Come here.”

She let him help her to her feet and they stood toe to toe as he kissed her. His hands cupped her full breasts and she moaned into his mouth.

“Are you sensitive there?”

“Extremely,” she admitted.

His head dropped lower and he gently pulled one dark nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked over the nub and her thighs pressed together. It seemed ergonomically impossible for them to actually make love in her condition, but she sure hoped Colin had a plan, because she never wanted him so badly.

“Do you think you can manage on your knees, Sammy?”

Liquid poured from her center, coating her swollen folds. She nodded. He turned her, swept her hair over one shoulder, and kissed the back of her neck. His soft, warm lips traveled down her spine and back again until she was trembling with desire.

“Please, Colin.”

He helped her onto the bed and carefully climbed up behind her. The touch of his hard thighs against her much softer ones was enough to make her come apart. Holding her hips supportively he fitted his knees between hers. “You’ll tell me if it is too much, Sammy.”

“It won’t be.”

“But you’ll tell me if it is.”

“Yes,” she agreed and his hard arousal nudged against her sex.

He parted her moist folds and began stroking slowly back and forth, making shallow dips into her wetness. His erection became slick with her cream. No barrier lay between them aside from Colin’s worry.

“Colin, the doctor assured me there isn’t a man alive large enough to do any damage to me or the baby. As long as you’re gentle everything will be fine.”

Her encouragement and the shared wisdom of her obstetrician seemed to be the only persuasion he needed. He pressed forward and filled her completely. It was incredible. Again she wanted to cry for how amazing it felt to be with him again, the touch of his skin to hers, his amazing warmth blanketing her.

He slowly moved in and out of her and they each moaned with pleasure. His hands held her lovingly and petted over her shoulders and thighs. Soft lips kissed the nape of her neck reverently and, again, he whispered his undying love for her. It wasn’t long before they were both coming apart.