Salvation and Secrets (9 page)

“You have something to say?” Braiden lifted his chin in challenge. Not that Kyler was dumb enough to stand up to him. He was the biggest kiss ass in the inner circle.

“I, hmm, I just wanted to blow off some steam, man. It’s been intense since the semester started.”

He wasn’t wrong. After the clusterfuck at the drop with Perkins, everyone was on high alert. Lucky for us, Uncle Marcus didn’t seem surprised when we had told him about Calder jumping us and leaving with the money and the coke. Things were happening. Braiden pushed to retaliate immediately. He wanted to go storming in, but that was his way. Act now and think later. Uncle Marcus was more calculated—he didn’t get to where he was by making impulse decisions.

“Pierce? You with us?”

Blinking, I looked up to find Braiden staring at me coldly. “Yeah, yeah,” I murmured, unsure of what I had agreed to.

“So you’re game? A little private party down at the cove?” His brow creased.

What the fuck?
My mind was confused as to how we went from Kyler and Travis receiving a Braiden bashing to a private party.

“A private pussay partay. Fucking hell yeah!” Shaun jumped up from his seat and started dancing around, and I caught Braiden join in laughing with the others.

“The girls will meet us out front. Grab some beers and a bottle of Patrón.”

Confused, I pulled Dennis to one side while the rest of the guys headed back upstairs. “What the fuck just happened? One minute Braiden’s chewing their ear off, the next we’re going down to the cove?”

“You zoned out. Braiden’s withholding their cut for a month. Told them not to touch that shit again.”

My hand gripped my jaw. This wasn’t usual Braiden behavior, but there was no time to argue as Dennis clasped his huge arm around my neck and cheered, “Let’s go get the birthday boy fucked up.”

Braiden stopped as he reached the top stair and turned back to us, his eyes meeting mine. A smug grin tugged at his lips. “And get him laid.”

Chapter 11

~ANA~

“So, he stayed over and
nothing
happened?” Elena’s eyes questioned me as she flopped down onto the end of my bed.

“Elena!” I shrieked. “I’ve told you a thousand times. Nothing has or is ever going to happen with Paul and me. I don’t… I can’t—” My breath caught, lodging in my throat as I pictured Jackson’s face when I told him that I knew it was best that we couldn’t be together.

“But he stayed over, in
your
bed?” Her almond eyes softened and she watched me like a dog begging for a treat.

Blowing out an exasperated sigh, I said, “Paul is a sweetheart, and yes, he did stay over. But that would be because he was worried about my sanity. I kind of lost it.”

Lost it didn’t really do justice to the state Paul had found me in. I didn’t like to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t.

“He hasn’t uttered a word to Tyson, you know. If we hadn’t caught him sneaking back into the house in the morning, we would have never of found out.” She hesitated, and then rushed out, “So if there’s nothing to hide, why the secrets?”

Reaching behind me, I grabbed a cushion and threw it at her. “It’s no one’s business. I was in a bad place. Paul came along at the right time. I needed someone. And he’s my friend.
Friend
, Elena.”

“You’re not over him, are you?”

I groaned, rolling my head back against the headboard. Tact was not one of Elena’s strongest attributes. “What do you think?” I inhaled, trying to calm my racing pulse. I hadn’t expected to be answering this question. “I spent the year before college shutting everyone out. Everyone. Besides you, Jackson was the first person to break down my walls. I let him in, Elena. And then he left me. He chose them.” The words hurt to say. “He brought me back to life and then crushed me…”

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, dripping onto my shirt. Elena shimmied up the bed until she was lying beside me. Wrapping her arm around me, she pulled me close. “I’m sorry; that was a dumb thing to say. You love him, don’t you?”

I nodded. It didn’t seem right to say the words when I never got the chance to say them to Jackson.

“So what now?”

“Now I learn to live without him.”

~

“Looking good, ladies.” Paul made a beeline for me, shoulder checking me with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“Papi,” Elena squealed, launching herself at Tyson, who caught her with little effort. “I missed you.”

“Seriously guys, it’s not even been twenty-four hours.” Paul made fake gagging noises as we headed toward the student center for the movie night.

"I think it's cute," Lydia said, her hand linked in Nate's. The two of them had finally gone public and couldn’t get enough of each other.

"That's because you’re seeing Nate. You've gone over to the dark side," Paul joked.

Nate hugged her closer, grinning like he had won the lotto. "Well, I think the dark side rocks."

My eyes rolled north. They were as bad as Elena and Tyson. Another loved up couple to gag over.

"What movie is playing, again?" Lydia looked back and asked Elena.

When Elena suggested we check it out, I knew why. There was going to be a huge party at Fallen House. I’d heard the guys talking about it, and then I’d heard it in conversations in the hallways as I had walked to class. Everyone was talking about the party. The one Braiden was throwing in honor of Pierce’s birthday. I didn’t even know it was Jackson’s birthday—he’d never mentioned it last year when we were getting to know each other. Just another sign that maybe he made the right decision in choosing them. We both still had secrets. Our relationship was doomed before it ever got started.

Paul nudged me, pulling me from my thoughts. “Hey, what’s on your mind?”

“Just thinking.”

“Are you o-okay? You know, after the other night?”

This was about as uncomfortable as it had been waking up next to Paul the other morning.

After Paul had intervened on what I was sure would have taken me to a place I would have regretted, he had just held me and let me cry into his shirt. At some point, we fell asleep and I woke in the middle of the night tangled in his arms. Too exhausted to freak out, I closed my eyes and let sleep claim me again.

But in the light of morning, even the exhaustion couldn’t dampen the awkwardness as our eyes found each other. Paul had stumbled over his words and pretty much bolted from the room.

We hadn’t really talked about it since.

Turning my head slightly to meet Paul's concerned eyes, I said, "I'm okay. I'll be okay. Thank you."

He nodded, probably sensing that I didn't want to talk about it, and we followed the others inside.

A couple of hours later, we all filed out of the student center.

"That was freaking hilarious. I haven't laughed so much in ages."

I was surprised Lydia even knew what film had been playing. She only had eyes for Nate the whole time. It was no surprise that Cassie had decided not to join us. She didn’t want to play third wheel.

"It was okay. I still can't believe we were pretty much the only ones in there. Usually, it's a hit, or so I've heard."

Silence descended over the group as we walked the path back to the guys’ house, and Elena and Paul regarded me out the corners of their eyes before sharing a look.

Trying to lighten the mood, I said, "So what's the plan when we get to the house?"

Paul slung his arm around my neck. "Eat, drink, and get our Xbox on.”

The guys all laughed, and I wriggled free of Paul’s hold on me to join the girls while they started discussing gameplay tactics.

“Ana, what do you think?” Lydia whispered, slowing down and forcing us to drop behind the guys. “It’s too early to say it, right?”

“To say what?” I asked.

“To tell Nate that I’m in love with him.”

Elena squealed, causing Lydia to grab her arm and pull her back even more. “Shh, will you. I don’t want the guys to hear.”

“But this is so freaking amazing. I knew you had it bad but didn’t realize you were in love with him.” Elena linked her arm through Lydia’s and demanded the lowdown on things with Nate. I half-listened, too lost in my own thoughts as we lingered behind the guys, following the path to the campus houses.

Rounding the corner, Fallen House came into view and I took a deep breath, trying my best not to look in that direction. But a group of people leaving the house caught my eye. I instantly found him, walking next to a leggy brunette wearing a barely there dress. His arm was draped over her shoulder, and they were laughing along with the rest of the group.

Elena and Lydia slowed to a halt, and I wondered why they had stopped. Then I realized they were staring at me with sad expressions. And I was rooted to the spot unable to move, watching Jackson head toward the path leading to the main campus entrance. Jackson and the rest of Braiden’s most trusted were each with a girl. My chest cracked and a sinking feeling spread through me. He was with someone. And she was beautiful. They weren’t near enough to get a good look, but she was tall and slim, with long poker straight hair and curves in all the right places.
He’s with someone.

“…chica, are you okay? Why don’t we…talk about it back at…” Elena’s lips continued to move, but I only heard a few words, too transfixed on the group moving further into the distance.

Noticing we had all stopped, the guys slowed down and turned back to us. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Paul follow my line of sight. His Adam’s apple bobbed and I didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath. After the other night, he knew this would hit me hard.

I blinked rapidly and steeled myself. “Ready?” Stalking past Elena and Lydia, I ignored their slack jaws and forced myself to move in the direction of the guys’ house. I could hear all of them whispering behind me, but I kept moving. I had to keep moving. Despite my unsteady legs, I had to keep going.

We finally reached the house, and Tyson let us in. No one said anything about my meltdown. They just continued talking among themselves like nothing had happened. I felt Elena and Paul eyeing me a couple of times, but neither said a word.

“Who wants a beer?”

“Me.” It rushed out.

Paul scowled at me. “Are you sure?”

I scowled back. “Yes.”

“Get the girl a beer, Deputy Dad.”

I could have hugged Tyson right then for sticking up for me. I just needed something to take the edge off. To dim the urge.

“Fine. Fine.” Paul didn’t disguise the annoyance in his voice as he stormed to the kitchen.

He came back seconds later and handed me a bottle. I took a long pull and let the bitter taste flood my senses. Turning my back on him, I found a seat in the living room.

~

Things had gotten messy. After daring Nate to a drinking challenge, the guys had ended up wasted. Jamie joined us at some point earlier in the night and cheered Tyson and Nate on, taking a shot for himself occasionally. Elena and Paul had tried to talk me out of it to start with, but after the first couple of shots, the anxiety clawing at my insides started to subside. So I had another. And another.

And now I could see double and was giggling at everything.

“Paul, we need more tequila, man. Paul. PAUL.” Tyson’s voiced boomed through the house and I let out a giggle, causing Elena to explode with laughter.

“Dude, I’m right here. Fuck, how drunk are you?”

Tyson beat his fists on his chest in Tarzan style. “Me, man. You, fetch more tequila.”

This caused another outburst and Elena and I ended up on the floor in fits of giggles, while Lydia snuggled up to Nate, trying to discourage him from doing any more shots.

“Jamie, take my place? I’m out.” Nate hiccupped and rolled his head back.

“I’ll do it.” Pushing up on my knees, I twisted into a standing position and brushed myself off.

“Ohhh no you don’t, chica.” Elena tried to pull me back down, but I shrugged her off and stepped up next to Tyson, who was craning his neck in the direction of the kitchen. “Papi, tell her.”

Tyson turned to me, towering over me. “Think you can take me, little lady?”

Elena shot me a look, but I ignored her focusing only on Tyson. “You’re on, big guy.”

Paul returned to the room carrying a bottle of tequila and warily approached us. “Ana, what are you doing?”

I was staring Tyson down…or trying to. But the guy was built and drank most nights, whereas I could count on one hand the amount of times I’d been drunk in the last year. And neither time ended well! But the warm buzz was slowly replacing the hollow feeling. And I craved more.

“Shot,” I demanded.

Tyson wasted no time in snatching two glasses from the tray in Paul's hand and passed one to me. "For the lady."

Elena and Lydia were trying to dissuade me, but I ignored them. My eyes remained locked on Tyson and I tilted my chin in challenge, causing a slow smirk to spread over his face. "You're going down, Ana Parry."

My whole face scrunched up. He was going down!

Lifting the glass to my lips, I shut out the strong smell and the tears forming in my eyes. And knocked it back in one.

Fire erupted in my throat and I wanted to gag, but unwilling to give Tyson the satisfaction, I swallowed it down. Slamming the glass on the tray, I picked up a second and drank it straight down.

Tyson's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "Shit, Ana, where did you learn to do that?"

A sense of achievement washed over me and I smiled. But then my stomach lurched and acid started to gurgle up in my throat. Clutching my hand over my mouth, I bolted out of the room, with a chorus of laughter and Spanish expletives following me, as I made a run for the bathroom.

After emptying the contents of my challenge into the guys’ toilet, I washed my face and rinsed my mouth. Paul was waiting in the hallway as I exited the room.

"Feeling better?"

I waved a hand in the air at him, not wanting to open my mouth to speak. My stomach was still churning.

"Come on, follow me." Paul's hand found mine, and he dragged me toward the stairs. I followed, too sick to care.