Salvation and Secrets (13 page)

Chapter 15

~ANA~

"Come with us? Mami would love to meet you. And I promise we can keep our hands off each other for most of the time. Please, come. I don't want you holed up here all alone. On Thanksgiving again. Please," Elena whined, dropping her bottom lip for effect.

"Elena, we've been over this. I've agreed to help Sarah out over the weekend so that only leaves Thanksgiving, and I can go to the student center if I get lonely. Which I won't."
Liar
. "It’s only four days. I'll see you Monday."

Elena huffed some unintelligible Spanish at me and threw her arms wide, wrapping me in a hug. "In case I don't get one after the game. Text me, call me, hell, send carrier mail. Just don't sit here all weekend moping."

I pulled back and smiled. "I do not mope."

"You kind of do."

"Paul offered to stay. He's becoming a little overbearing ever since we crossed into the friend zone."

"I bet Marielle would love that."

"He said she suggested it. What have they been dating, like two weeks?" I frowned. For as much as I was relieved that Paul was dating, Marielle had taken it upon herself to try to befriend us all. She was a little intense.

"Strange one, that one. But if she makes Paul happy then we have to suck it up and smile."

I glanced at the clock on the wall behind Elena. "Better start now then because we're meeting them in five minutes."

Elena groaned. "Dios mio. Let’s go."

~

The atmosphere in Lowe Stadium was electric. I missed who Paul said we were playing but whoever they were had brought a large crowd, and their sea of white and navy jerseys stood out against our white, black, and green.

Even if Thirty Seconds to Mars hadn't have blasted out across the PA system, the roar of the crowd would have alerted me to the team's arrival on the field. People cheered and whooped, stomping their feet and singing along to the opening bars of the music. It was something else, and despite my eyes searching him out, I was swept up in the buzz.

"So, Ana, how do you like football?" Marielle shouted over the noise, and I shrugged holding my fingers to my ears to indicate it was too loud to hear her. She pursed her lips and nodded but relaxed when Paul pulled her into him, tucking her petite frame into his side.

I didn't feel anything. Not even a tiny sliver of jealousy. Not that I wanted to be jealous, but considering how close Paul and I had gotten recently, I thought I might have felt something. If anything, I was just relieved and happy for him. He seemed genuinely into Marielle and they were undeniably cute together, in a goofy kind of way.

My eyes tracked the team until they landed on him. Tense posture, squared jaw. Jackson always looked ready to pounce; worlds apart from the gentle and loving guy I had gotten to know the year before. But he did have two sides, like polar opposites. Serious and playful. Uptight and laidback. Controlling and understanding. He was like two different people sometimes, but then living with the Donohues for most of his life couldn't have been easy.

I watched the game with my heart in my mouth. Every time Jackson ran straight into a player, I winced, feeling every bang and crash right along with him. But this time felt different to the other times I had watched, from the time I had a total meltdown on Paul. Something in me was changing. My love for Jackson remained the same, but I was tired. Tired of the lies and the secrets, tired of never knowing what side of Jackson I was going to encounter. Maybe it was Elena’s words playing on my mind. She made it sound like I never knew the real Jackson, and maybe I didn’t. Maybe it was all an illusion. Maybe Jackson was never going to choose me over them. Maybe there was never a choice in the first place.

Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I let my eyes find him again. Jackson Pierce had stolen my heart, but Paul was right. I was stronger than that. I had survived worse.

“Ana, isn’t this great?” Marielle nudged my shoulder, a huge grin smeared on her face. “I didn’t realize how much fun it would be.”

I nodded, returning her smile. She was right; it was fun. The noise, the nail-chewing tension, it was infectious. And for the next hour, I would enjoy the atmosphere and push thoughts of the guy wearing the number thirteen to the back of my mind.

Thirty minutes later, the score was tied at seventeen. The Fallen were in control of the ball, and my eyes watched in awe as one of our players flung the ball toward Braiden, who was tracking the ball’s projection. He caught the ball with perfect precision, clutching it to his body as he turned and started to sprint down the field toward the end zone.

At first, I thought people were screaming with delight at the prospect of Braiden scoring a touchdown. But the sound became more frantic and people sounded scared, not excited. I followed where everyone seemed to be looking but couldn’t see anything to cause concern. And then I heard it.

Three rounds of gunfire sounded out and chaos erupted all around me. Some people dropped to the ground, shielding themselves with their arms. Others started to run for the exits. I stood rooted to the spot. The distant sound of Elena’s and Paul’s voices unable to penetrate the bubble surrounding me. My eyes followed Braiden as he ran for Jackson. The rest of the guys joined them and their eyes darted around the stadium.

Another shot sounded and they all hit the ground.

Moments passed and the frenzy around me continued. I was vaguely aware of it but couldn’t move. And then Jackson turned his head in the direction of my row. He was staring directly at me, only I was so far away I was sure he couldn’t see me. Not really. But still, I stood there. A statue, unable to move.

“Ana,
ANA
. What the hell is wrong with you,” Elena shrieked, and then an arm wrapped around my waist yanking me to the side. “Come on, girl. We have to get out of here. This shit is crazy.”

My body moved along with the arm pulling me, but my eyes remained transfixed on Jackson. He was running off the field with Braiden and the rest of the team, and a couple of officers passed them, their hands wrapped around their weapons.

“Ana. Move it.”

“Just pick her up or something. I think she’s in shock.”

My feet lifted off the ground and my face met Tyson’s jacket as he hoisted me over his shoulder. Something in me snapped, and I yelled, “Put me down. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Tyson lowered me to the ground, and I took in the crazy unfolding around us. People were rushing out of the exit, spilling onto the sidewalks leading back to campus. Girls were crying, holding on to one another with tears streaming down their faces. But the sound of sirens drowned out their sobs and the night sky filled with flashing red and blue.

“We need to get out of here. Let’s head back to the house.” Tyson sounded so calm, and Elena followed his lead, as he started to maneuver us through the crowd. I was wedged between them and Paul and Marielle, who were behind me. She was sobbing while Paul reassured her.

Eventually, we reached the house. The door was open; Jamie and Nate stood in the doorway with strained expressions.

“Campus is being locked down. Jay just got the call.”

The call?

“I want to go back to McGinley.” The words rushed out of me, surprising me. I didn’t really want to be alone, but I had said them all the same.

Paul whispered something to Marielle and she nodded. “We’ll walk you back now. I’ll stay with Marielle tonight.” He looked at the guys.

Elena protested, but Tyson ushered her into the house, and Paul took my hand, still holding onto Marielle. “Come on. We should hurry.”

And we did. Minutes later, we arrived at McGinley. Girls were huddled in the common room, replaying the events of earlier. I thanked Paul and Marielle and told them to go ahead to Adkins Hall.

“Be safe, Ana.” Marielle hugged me, before stepping back into Paul’s embrace, and they left.

Once inside my room, I checked all of the windows and pulled the blinds. At some point, my hands started shaking, making it difficult to undress. Eventually, I managed to pull on a tank and slouchy pants and climbed into bed. When my phone vibrated next to me, I almost jumped out of my skin.

Elena: That was crazy. Apparently, no one was hurt. Cass and Lydia are here now. Police are everywhere. Are you sure that you’re okay on your own? What was that, chica? You scared me back there! Xx

I typed out a quick reply, telling her that I was fine and would speak to her in the morning. And then I closed my eyes.

~

“I have to keep you safe. That will always be the most important thing to me. I love you, Ana. I. Love. You.”

My eyes flickered opened, heavy from the dream I didn’t want to awaken from. But something had breached my subconscious state. A noise.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

My phone vibrated on the last knock, sending me into a panic.

It’s me. Open the window.

J x

A million thoughts flooded my mind, unsteadying me, and I flopped back onto the bed. The game. The gunfire. Jackson crouched on the ground. Dreaming of Jackson declaring his love for me. Jackson standing outside my window a year ago.

He knocked again and I hauled myself up, running a hand through my bed hair. I avoided looking at him as I pulled up the blind and unlocked the latch before retreating to my bed.

Jackson climbed through the gap, and when his eyes found mine, a painful ache zipped through my heart.

“Thank God you’re okay. I’ve been going out of my mind, but Coach ordered us straight back to the locker rooms, then the police wanted statements, and Principal Kellar came by. Then Uncle Marcus arrived and-”

“Stop.” My voice was steady, unwavering as I watched Jackson’s eyes widen.

It was unusual to see Jackson like this—so unguarded. And my chest ached even more with the realization that this was a glimpse of
my
Jackson.

“What are you doing here, Jackson?”

His eyes narrowed, and he closed the distance between us. My body instinctively pressed into the headboard, but I ignored the rapid beating of my heart.

“I had to know that you were okay.” He remained at the foot of the bed, staring at me.

“You could have texted.”

He sighed, raking a hand through his damp hair, and I wondered if it was raining out. “I had to see you.”

“Why?”

The room filled with our silence and we stared each other. We were on the precipice of something. I could feel it.

Jackson inched closer until his legs touched the edge of the bed. “Because I had to know that you were okay, that nothing had happened to you.”

I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath. When I opened them again, I looked directly at him. “Why?”

His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure me out. “You know why, Ana.”

“Say it.”

“Because I love you. There, I fucking said it. Is that enough for you? Can we stop playing these games now?”

“GAMES? You think I’m playing a game? Me?” I yelled, tears of frustration brimming in my eyes. "I'm not the one cuddling up to beautiful girls, playing happy family with
him
," I spat out.

Jackson flinched like I'd physically hurt him but quickly recovered, his green eyes darkening. "And what about Cormack? Don't try to tell me that you two are just friends. I've seen how you are together, Ana."

He has?

"Paul is my friend. He's been there for me." I met his severe glare with my own.

"Friends? Bullshit."

Anger descended over me and all I could see was red. How dare he turn things on me? After everything. Before I could take them back, the words tumbled out. "Fine. You want the truth? That night I saw you leave the party with that girl, I kissed him. Paul. I. Kissed. Him," I screamed, panting for breath as I let out my frustrations.

Jackson didn't move. He didn't flinch. He just watched me, but I didn’t have time to collect my thoughts or consider how to fix things as Jackson pounced on the bed bringing his face level with mine. “Why are you so worked up, Ana?”