Salvation and Secrets (16 page)

"Hey, hey." His finger lifted my chin forcing me to look at him. "It's not what you think. I'm just so sorry I put you through all this. On top of everythi-"

"Don't. Don't you dare do that. I wouldn't change it. Okay, maybe the drugging and watching you lie motionless on the beach. But you warned me and I made my choice. If there was ever a choice to make. It's been you since that day at the beach when we played Shakespeare Alphabet. I was just scared to tell you."

Jackson shifted slightly so that he was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. "I'll never hurt you again. I know things are still fucked up, but it's me and you now. You are my priority. My life."

His words filled me with hope, and my eyes flickered to the tattoo near his heart. I reached out to trace the delicate script with my fingers unable to make out the words.

"Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family," Jackson's voice said in a hushed tone.

As my fingers continued to trace the sentence, I wondered what the future held for us.

Chapter 18

~JACKSON~

"And where the fuck have you been?" Braiden didn't bother to pick up his head from his cell phone as I entered the basement.

"Busy."

Dennis flashed me a discreet knowing grin while Braiden grunted. "Busy a lot lately."

I didn't reply. There was no point. Tension between us was higher than ever, especially now that I was back to sneaking around with Ana behind everyone's backs. Well, everyone except Dennis and Elena. They had spent the last couple of weeks covering for us at every opportunity.

It wasn't that I had chickened out of telling him. I tried...more than once. It just seemed that every time I tried to fess up, something happened. But Braiden was no fool and he knew something was up; I saw it every time he looked at me. He was just too obsessed with the shit with Calder to care. Which, right now, worked in my favor. It meant Ana and I could enjoy each other without him breathing down my neck.

But it was only time before the shit hit the fan.

"Any word from the old man?" Kyler handed Braiden a beer and dropped down beside him. The others were gathered around the flat screen, watching the animated assassins pick off the enemy one by one.

"He said he's handling it. Whatever the fuck that means. I told him that I could take care of it, and instead, he pulls rank!" His fist came down hard against the wooden table. "And I'm left waiting. This shit sucks!"

"And you don't know the plan?"

Braiden's head whipped up and he glared at him, causing Kyler to press back into his seat. I laughed to myself.
Tough guy isn't so tough now
.

"Do you really think I'd be sitting here ready to murder something if I was in on the plan? Are you that fucking stupid?"

Kyler's hands shot out in front of him. "Chill man, it was just a question."

"A fucking stupid one."

"You should call Lacey, Braid. Get her to suck some of that frustration right out of you," Shaun hollered from his position on the worn couch.

"That's not a bad idea, fucktard. Beats sitting around with you losers. I'm out."

Braiden stomped out of the basement, slamming the door behind him with such force that Travis jumped in his seat.

"Something's gotta give soon or he's going to do something stupid."

Dennis cleared his throat and caught my eye. "Pierce, fancy spotting me in the gym?"

I nodded, glancing around and hoping that no one else would want to join us.

"We'll catch you fuckers later."

The guys called out their goodbyes as we made our way to the house's gym. Chances were some of the other guys would be working out, but Dennis wouldn't think twice about telling them to scram.

We just made it to the door when my cell buzzed in my pocket.

Counting the hours x

I hit a quick reply to Ana and pocketed my cellphone. When I looked up, Dennis rolled his eyes at me and smirked. "You have it bad. You should see the shit-eating grin on your face. Real discreet, man, real discreet."

He was right. I did have it bad, and I was becoming complacent. But between Braiden's constant bad mood and tensions within the inner circle, I spent every second I could afford with Ana. We rarely left her dorm room, and when we did, it was under the disguise of night, but I couldn't get enough of her.

It was as if the night I set things straight between us made her walls come down and she finally let me in. All of me. She loved me as fiercely as I loved her. I could see it in her eyes, written all over her beautiful face, and I wondered how I'd ever doubted her feelings for me.

"Earth to cupid. I'd rather not get decapitated by three hundred and fifty pounds because Romeo couldn't get his head out of his ass and stop daydreaming."

I punched him square in the chest and he doubled over faking injury. Dennis was solid and I figured my hand came off worse. "Show me what you got."

I spotted Dennis for the next thirty minutes. The dude could lift, and then some. His arms were like steel, and he made lifting three-fifty seem like a walk in the park.

"I'm done. Want to swap in?" He mopped the sweat from his forehead with his tank, and I shook my head. "Nah, I'm going to head out."

Dennis hesitated and I could see there was something he wanted to say, which concerned me. He wasn't the kind of guy to hold his tongue.

"What is it?"

"Nah, man. Forget it."

"Dude, just spit it out. I can take it."

"I'm happy for you, I am, but have you considered how this all ends? Have you forgotten what Braiden did to you at the end of last year?"

And what he did to Ana
.

"Way I see it, it's only going to end one way. Badly."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I raked a hand through my hair, not wanting to admit what I already knew...Dennis was right.

"Shit is already strained. You two hardly talk and Ky is so far up Braid's ass that it's hard to see where one ends and the other begins. I'm just saying, things are coming, shit’s fucked up, and you're slowly jumping ship."

While everything he said was true, it was nothing I hadn't already considered. Shit was fucked up, and yet again, I'd placed Ana in the line of fire. But she was still in it with me. At least with me by her side, I could protect her. I just needed to find a way to make Braiden understand. To make them all understand.

"Just go. You've gone all googly eyed again. So much for my pep talk," Dennis muttered, shaking his head at me.

I laughed before holding my fist out to his. "It was just what I needed, Coach."

Dennis' laughter followed me all the way out of the house.

~

"Oh, no you don't." I dragged Ana back to me, wrapping a leg around hers, pinning her to the bed.

"Jackson, I need to pee. I have to go-"

My lips brushed against the sensitive part of her ear and her whole body trembled.

I loved that. Loved how her body responded to me.

"Jacks- ahhh, stop. Stop."

"What did you just say?" My head craned around her to look into her soulful eyes.

"Jackson? Or the moaning part?"

"No, you called me Jax."

I slipped a hand under the shirt covering her delicate frame. My shirt. She looked so fucking good in my clothes.

She shook her head, trying to wriggle free from my grip. "No, I called you Jackson, well, almost. Your tickling put me off.”

"Say it again."

Ana frowned and I leaned forward pressing my head to hers. "Say it."

"Jax." It came out breathy, and I rolled my head back. "God, I love how that sounds coming from your mouth. Say it again."

"Hmm," she laughed nervously. "You're totally freaking me out right now."

I inched my lips to hers, pausing just before they touched. Her breath lingered against my skin and I soaked her in. "Please. Just say it."

Blowing out an exasperated sigh, she said, "Jax."

My heart dived. Or soared. I couldn't think clearly enough to work out which. Only two people ever called me Jax. Dad and Otis.
Family.
But it sounded right coming from her lips. Ana was my family now. As much as Dad ever was, or Otis and Velma. As much as Uncle Marcus and Braiden.

She was it.

And in that moment, I hated myself for ever dragging her into my fucked-up life. She deserved better, but selfish or not, I did not intend to let her go again.

"Jackson, what's going on?"

"I like hearing you call me that. It's nice."

"People call you Jax all the time." Ana dropped her eyes and I could tell something was bothering her.

"No, they don't. There's Otis. And occasionally Marcus, but that's it. No one else since Dad." I lifted her finger and tilted her head back to me, my eyes trying to make her understand. "Only family."

She tried to tilt her head away from me again, but I held her firm. "Ana, what is going on?"

"It's silly- nothing, not really." Her voice sounded so small and I sat a little straighter.

"Tell me."

"She called you Jax. When she was threatening me, she- she called you Jax."

My whole body stiffened. Briony had threatened Ana? A million thoughts stormed through my mind and I tried to calm the rage building. Of course, that crazy bitch had threatened her.

“Jackson?”

I couldn’t look at Ana, unable to get a hold of the anger pulsing through me. Briony was there, at the cabin. I thought that was the first time, but I should have known. Should have guessed there was more. When Briony wanted something, nothing would stop her from getting her own way.

Fuck.

“Jackson, Jax?”

Ana’s voice cloaked me like a calming blanket, cutting through my rage, and I blinked, realizing I was staring at her. "You know how much I love you, right? Only you!"

She twisted onto her knees, pulled away from me and nodded. The loss of her warmth was immediate.

"Things could get a lot worse. When Braiden finds out, he will lose his shit. That's if he hasn't already figured it out. I'm prepared for whatever he throws my way. I've made my choice. But you can still walk away. I'll understand." The words lodged in my throat and I choked them down. Losing Ana would tear me apart, but she had to know. It was only fair, after everything, that she knew what was coming.

Ana regarded me, her wide brown eyes drinking me in. I wanted to know her every thought. I wanted her to say something. Anything.

But she didn't.

Shimmying between my legs, Ana leaned in close and brought her lips down to mine. I held my breath, waiting. It was unlike her to take control, to make the first move. But something about the determination in her eyes had me rooted to the spot.

The kiss was gentle at first and she swept her tongue into my mouth moving her soft lips against mine. My body instantly responded and my dick strained against my boxers. I wanted her so fucking much. But this was as much about her as it was me. This had to be on her terms. I had laid all my chips out and now she had to choose. Once and for all.

Ana's hands ran up and down my chest sending waves of pleasure zipping through me. Just her touch drove me wild. But it did something else—it comforted me. When Ana touched me, it was like everything else disappeared. All the shit with Braiden and Calder just melted away until there was only her and me.

Eventually, her fingers paused at the bottom of my jersey, hooking underneath the fabric, brushing my stomach, and I gulped back the urge to pounce on her. I wanted her so fucking much, but I could see how much this meant to her. So I sucked it up and locked eyes with her.

"I love you," she whispered before yanking up my jersey. I leaned forward allowing her to pull it over my head.

Without realizing it, I reached out to remove the huge shirt covering her, but she tapped my hand away. Crossing her arms, I watched as she slowly peeled it over her head, dropping it to the side of her. My heart was pounding in my chest, so hard it hurt. She was so beautiful; smooth milky skin and delicate curves. I didn't even notice the scars; I was too entranced by her. My beautiful, broken girl. All I wanted to do was piece her back together.

Her fingers skated up her stomach and brushed over her perfect tits, and she fluttered her eyes shut, almost gasping. "I need you, Jax."

It was all the permission I needed. I grabbed her hips and swiftly lifted her over me. My fingers slipped inside of her black panties and dipped inside of her with ease. Ana's head fell back in pleasure and I knew I couldn't wait one more second. Withdrawing my fingers, I freed my dick and pushed the black material of her panties to the side.

"Are you ready?" My voice was thick with need.

She nodded, her eyes hooded with desire and lust, and her whole body shuddered against me as I lowered her onto me.

"Fuck," I hissed, loving the feel of her wrapped around me. "I love you, Savanah Parry, so fucking much."

I pulled her legs around my waist, clamping her to me, and started to lift her up and down, my fingers digging into her ass, taking us higher and higher.