“Connor, I should have talked to you first before getting your dads hopes up. I can call him tomorrow
and apologize if you want or…”
“Let’s go inside before we get into this Princess.”
Connor sounds calm, but then I remember how calm he was when he took out Jax at the bar and my pulse spikes.
Screw that!
I was just trying to make him and Les happy. It’s not like I committed a crime. I walk briskly to the door with my head up. No way was I going to let him get mad at me for this. I’ll go take a shower and give him a chance to rethink everything. Maybe then he will realize…
“Ooof!” I’m barely in the house before Connor is slamming the door and pinning me up against it. He brings his lips down to mine hard. They will probably be bruised tomorrow
, but I don’t care because he’s kissing me! He lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist and he grinds against me. I pull away from his lips and groan. When he stops his torturous assault and grins at me, I untangle my hand from his hair and punch his shoulder.
“Ouch what the hell was that for?” He says
, but his eyes are still brimming with desire.
“You made me think you were mad at me!” I shout at him.
He just smiles. “Oh you mean like you did to me on our first date?” Connor raises his eyebrows at me and I giggle. Damn it he’s right and it was kind of funny. Connor looks at me intently and I stop laughing. “You really mean it? You’ll move into my Dad’s house with me?” I nod because the hope in his voice makes my throat thicken and his body is still pressed against mine robbing me of speech. “I’m warning you Nina Ryan. If we do this, I’m never letting you go.” In answer I kiss him. This is what I had been waiting for. I didn’t need him to say it. Words are meaningless compared to actions and Connor has showed me again and again how much he loves me.
I never thought that this moment would come for me. My whole life has been sh
aped to protect me and keep my heart safe. I know that I’m about to change all of that and I should be terrified. I lean forward and brush my lips across his. The fact that the fear never comes and all I can think about is Connor and his mouth on mine gives me the courage to speak. “Connor, make love to me.” I say against his lips.
Connor lifts his head and looks i
nto my eyes searching again. His expression is wrought with disbelief, so I stare back at him and let my fingers run down his back, trying to convey without words how much I want this. Finally, his features soften, but somehow his eyes burn brighter at the same time. He understands. He always does.
“Nina.” He breathes then kisses me and
starts walking backwards to the bedroom.
When we get there he covers my body with his
, with our lips still sealed together. This kiss doesn’t turn desperate like it usually does. This time it slows, like we have all the time in the world. I bite down gently on his lip and he inhales sharply, his fingers tightening in my hair. I love that I know how to do this to him. He breaks the seal slowly, reluctantly and sits up guiding me to kneel in front of him.
His hands leave me to remove the loosened tie around his neck
and I reach forward to undo his buttons. My fingers tremble as I push his shirt off of his shoulders. Connor reaches down and strips off his under shirt and tosses it onto the ground. His bare chest is only inches from my face and my lips move of their own accord to press against his warm skin. His breath rushes out on a groan and he grasps the hem of my blouse and pulls it up over my head. He deposits my top over the edge of the bed and the look on his face makes me glad I splurge on my lingerie.
“You’re so beautiful Princess. I’ll never get tired of looking at you.” His voice is reverent and full of the love I’m sure he has for me.
I undo Connor’s belt and he helps me slide his slacks off. His hand moves to my chest and pushes me back on the bed while the other slips down to pull my skirt over my hips. My skirt barely makes it to my knees and his eyes bug out of his head like a cartoon.
“Garters Nina! Holy shit! You wore this to work?” He runs his hands down the garter straps and down my stocking covered legs. “I don’t know if I should spank you or bow down at your feet. It’s a good thing that skirt is so long. You would have ruined the little boy who saw these.” He unsnaps the clips from my stockings and slowly pulls them from my legs and takes the belt from my waist.
The look on his face and the touch of his hands trailing down my skin makes me feel so sexy. This man has given me so much, made me feel so many new things and now he is going to replace the bad memories with a good one.
Connor’s eyes trace my body covered only in a bra and panties once, twice, three times and smiles. “If only I had a camera.” Then
, he strips me bare without another word and kisses me. He drags his lips down my neck to my breast and takes the peak in his mouth while palming the other. I reach down and shove his boxers to his thighs and use my feet to push them further. Once I start to struggle to get them all the way off without breaking our connection, he kicks them to the ground to join the rest of our discarded clothing. His hand glides down my torso as I reach mine between our bodies. We touch each other at the same time and I can’t tell whose voice is who’s when we both groan.
“Are you sure Princess?” Connor asks, his sapphires blazing into me, branding me.
I brush my lips across his once and nod. “I want you Connor.” He closes his eyes briefly, opens them and then swallows.
“I saw your birth control in your bathroom. If you’ve been taking it and you trust me, I don’t want anything between us. I have a condom
and if you want me to use it I will. It’s your choice.” I can tell he’s nervous asking me this. I love that he cares enough to ask and that he wants to be that close to me.
“I choose you Connor. I’ve been on birth control since I was 16. I trust you. No condom.” I kiss his lips and say, “I’m ready.”
He doesn’t ask me again and I feel him start to push into me. “Tell me if I hurt you.” He grits through his teeth. “You’re really tight.” Connor grabs my leg and lifts it up at the knee and pushes all the way into me slowly. His forehead drops to mine and I gasp. “Okay?” He stops moving and I grab his ass and pull while I tilt my hips up to force him deeper. “
Fuck Nina!”
Connor gasps, his eyes clench shut and we both groan.
“Move your ass Connor.”
He laughs and pulls back then slides forward, oh-so-slowly. The friction makes my toes curl. When he starts to move at a steady pace, my other leg moves up as I try to get closer to him. He reaches down to grab it and pull it to my chest. He shifts so he’s at a different angle while holding both my legs and I cry out at the shock. The feeling is so intense, like he’s hitting some sort of trigger inside of me.
Connor chuckles again
and it’s kind of cocky this time. “I think we’ve found it Princess.” Then, he really starts to move and I feel every slide and push all the way to my toes. I thrust my hips up to meet him and it spurs him faster. I feel the familiar tightening, in my body, but this time it’s deeper and so much stronger. Connor reaches down between our sweat covered bodies and starts to move his fingers against me. I bite into his shoulder to fight against the all-consuming pressure
. It’s too much.
“Let go Nina, I’ve got you.” Connor half moans and it unravels my control. My body bows off the bed and the sound I make is half scream half whimper. “Thank God!” Connor yells and pounds on toward his own release. I run my hands down his chest and then back up into his hair and our eyes lock when I feel him stiffen and shout my name. He rolls his hips twice and shudders then collapses on me. He rolls so I’m draped across him and our ragged breathing is the only sound in the room. “I was right.” Connor says in between breaths. “I’ll never survive you.”
CHAPTER 9
We just lie in bed on our sides looking at each other afterword, basking in the afterglow. This is what I have been craving, this connection that goes deeper than skin. It makes tears come to my eyes thinking about how perfect it was. How the damage done by someone so careless was healed by someone so wonderful and he’s mine. Connor notices my unshed tears and frowns.
“Baby I didn’t hurt you did I? I’m sorry I wasn’t very gentle there at the end.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and looks tortured.
I shake my head. “No it was perfect, you were perfect. It’s just making me a little emotional.” His eyebrows pull in and I reach up and run my fingers across his lips. “I have some things to tell you.” I whisper.
Connor kisses me. “You can tell me anything.”
I take a deep breath. It’s surprisingly easy and I realize that I do trust him. The thought makes me smile and I start my story.
“My parent’s names were Cameron and Brooke.” I say and speaking their names is so difficult
, that I have to take a deep breath before continuing. “They were so in love. My mother was a country girl and my father was from the city. They met in college and fell in love and got married. My dad knew how much she loved it here, so he moved for her and worked construction while my mom stayed at home with me.
One night when I was 16
, my dad went out for drinks with the guys and didn’t come home till really early the next morning. The guilt must have been too much, because that night he told my mom he got drunk and ended up sleeping with a girl from the bar.” Connor is staring at me now, his fingers running over the strands of my hair, soothing me.
I can do this.
I take another breath and continue. “My mom didn’t take it well. She kind of lost it I think. Brook Ryan was a hopeless romantic and
always after the “big gesture.” She dropped me off at Lo’s after school the next day and told me she would see me in the morning. I had heard them fighting the night before, but she looked fine so I thought they had made up. I had no clue. I didn’t even tell her I loved her.” Connor brings my hand up and kisses my palm. “She left my dad a note telling him she was leaving, hoping he would go after her. He did. He drove off while calling her over and over again, just driving around trying to find her.” I close my eyes at the memory of that horrible night. “They say another driver didn’t see him and went to change lanes and ran right into him. He was speeding so when he swerved he lost control and the car flipped. He was killed on impact.”
“Baby I’m so sorry.” Connor murmurs.
I take another deep shuttering breath. “When the police told my mom what had happened, she broke down. She never answered any of his calls, trying to make him sweat it out and blamed herself for the accident. I think she was so overwhelmed with grief and guilt that she didn’t even think about what she was doing.” I close my eyes as I say the next part too scared to see the look of horror I know will be on his face. “She went home and shot herself with my dad’s .45.” At Connor’s harsh intake of breath, I slowly lift my lids to see that he has closed his and I’m grateful for it.
When he
finally opens his eyes, they are full of nothing but affection and he continues stroking my hair. “They found a note. On one side, was her message to my father telling him she was leaving and on the other, was her note to me. It said; I’m sorry, I love you.” I close my eyes as a tear rolls down my face remembering that note. How I kept it so long and would just stare at it and wish she had been strong enough to stay for me. Wondering how she could forget about the fact that even though dad was gone, I was still here and she was leaving me alone when I needed her the most.
I open my eyes and force myself to finish. “So my mother ran off because my father cheated. My father cheated because he drank too much and made a stupid mistake. My mother wanted the grand gesture and my dad died giving it to her.
” The words come easily this time. I have analyzed everything from that night so closely that it’s almost as though I’m reading them off of a check list. “My mother killed herself so she could be with the man she left. It’s all totally ironic and horrible because if they had both just slowed down and looked around them they could have seen that the Universe gave them a way out.”
Connor gives me a questioning glance and I look
down to find my hands tracing patterns over his heart. I didn’t even know I was doing it, but it calms me so I keep watching my fingers on his skin and explain. “My dad told my mom about the woman and he was so sorry. He loved her. He didn’t have to go out that night, he shouldn’t have gone out. My dad hurt his hand on the site that day and my mom wanted him to stay home and not push it, but he went anyway. My mom shouldn’t have left him like that either. Her car wouldn’t start the morning she dropped me off at Lo’s so she had to borrow mine. It was all right in front of them! They were just too consumed to realize it.” I stop when I realize my voice has turned angry and try to control it. “Anyway, I turned 17 the next week so the courts emancipated me.”
Connor leans forward and kisses me softly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that Princess. I wish I had lived here. I would have taken care of you.”