I stand in front of room 426 and knock twice and wait with my heart beating in my throat. The door opens a small crack and sapphire eyes widen through the tiny opening. Connor opens the door just enough to walk into the hallway leaving the door cracked. I’m worried he’s going to turn me away when he doesn’t invite me in. I’m just about to start begging and then I take a good look at him. He looks like he hasn’t shaved in a few days and his eyes are duller than their usual brilliant blue. He’s wearing a wrinkled shirt and sweats and his hair is slightly too long and disheveled.
“Connor are you okay?” I ask worried about his appearance. Maybe he’s sick.
Connor laughs once and runs his hand through his too long hair. “No Nina. I’m not. What do you need?”
He rasps and I hear a feminine voice come from inside the room.
“Connor who is it?” I instantly know why he didn’t let me in
and I walk past Connor pushing the door open and step into the room, ready to get to the bottom of everything and tired of all the secrets and misconceptions. Sitting on the bed, like I knew she would be, is the blonde from the coffee shop. She smiles at me shyly. “You must be Nina. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” She blows her nose on a tissue and wipes her eyes with a perfectly manicured hand.
“Uh yea. I’m sorry, who are you?”
I blurt and Connor steps in behind me. I turn to see him rake his hand through his hair again.
“Nina, this is my cousin Tony. Tony this is, was, my girlfriend Nina.”
I process that for a minute and stare wide eyed at Connor then back at the beautiful blonde woman. Who is Connor’s cousin. And is a girl. And has a boy’s name.
Shit.
“You’re Tony?” I ask in disbelief.
The woman shrugs and smiles. “Toni with an "I".”
I look at her and smile.
I AM AN IDIOT!
Toni giggles and Connor sighs. “I said that out loud didn’t I?” I roll my eyes at myself then step forward. “I’m so sorry, I made a huge mistake. I saw the two of you at Starbucks looking really close when Connor said he was with Tony, who I thought was a man and you’re just so pretty! I thought that…well obviously I was wrong.” I look at Connor who is looking at the floor.
“Yea my daughter was sick and Connor came to my rescue. I was in need of some caffeine and he was telling me about you.” She says and then smiles. Her eyes are watery and her nose is red but she smiles a real smile. I like her on the spot. “I should probably go. It sounds like you two need some time to talk.” Toni gets up and walks toward the door, stopping to kiss her cousin on the cheek.
“Is she okay?” I ask quietly to Connor when his cousin shuts the door behind her.
Connor looks up at me. “Her husband gave her divorce papers today so not really. He’s an ass.” Then he chuckles. “Leave it to you to be worried about the girl you thought I was cheating on you with.”
I sit on the bed and Connor walks over to lean on the wall across from me. I look up at him and say the most important thing first.
“I love you.”
Connor’s eyes widen and he drops his arms to his side, but doesn’t say anything. “I know you wanted me to trust you before I found out about Toni and now you think that’s ruined but it’s not. I realized there was no way you would hurt me like that the day I read your letter.”
Connor sighs and walks over to sit down next to me on the bed. “That was two weeks ago Nina.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out the key and hand it to him. “I had some things I needed to take care of first.” Connor flips the key over in his hand and looks at me. I turn to face him fully then pull my set of keys out my pocket and show him my matching one.
“What is this Nina?”
I look right into his eyes. “It’s the key to our new house Connor. I moved into it yesterday, with some help from your dad, Lo, Drake and Ben. Your dad is going to use my apartment until he can start traveling and Ben is keeping Sam to give us time to settle in.” I swear I see a flicker in his eyes that brings a bit of the old color back to them and he frowns.
“Let me get this straight. You knew I didn’t cheat after reading the letter and yet, you and my father made me suffer for two weeks while you switched houses?”
I wince. “Yes, but I didn’t know you were this…”
Connor throws his hands up.
“This what? This fucked up! This utterly devastated and incapable of functioning properly because the girl I’m in love with thought I cheated on her and left me without letting me explain or talking to me!”
I
drop my head and stare at the keys in my hands while mentally chastising myself.
Great job Nina!
You may now add asshole to your long list of attributes. “I thought you deserved some grand gesture to prove that I trusted you and that I loved you.”
Connor chuckles at me and shakes his head. “Princess, the whole idea of one grand gesture is bull shit. If you’re with someone who never shows you they care in the little ways and then they do one huge drastic thing, that’s not love, that’s desperation. It’s not what really matters. The small gestures are what count. The little things. That’s all I want from you.
” He reaches forward and grabs my chin forcing my face upwards to look at him. “Your smiles and your kisses and your time. Telling off the waitress at the Chinese restaurant.” He smiles at that last one then his eyes blaze blue. “Making love to me and trusting me to take care of you. Telling me about your parents and that dickhead ex boyfriend.” He reaches down and grabs my hand and my body hums in pleasure at the familiar warming sensation his touch brings. “I don’t need a house Nina. I need you.”
I
stare with my mouth open in complete shock. He’s right. Of course he’s right. That’s what he’s been doing this whole time. Trying to show me in small ways that he loves me so I would trust him and it worked. I trust and love him completely and intensely. I realize then, that the whole time I was with Connor I never once spoke to the Universe and it didn’t speak to me until Connor and I weren’t together. Connor Wright had become my everything, the most important thing to me. Now that I had something that meant more than my past, or my rules, or my solitude, I wasn’t drowning in my own world. I close my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek and then open them to look into the sapphire eyes that had become my whole Universe as I tell him the truth.
“You have me.”
Connor brings his hand up to my cheek and follows the trail the tear took to my neck then wraps his hand around to my nape and pulls me forward. He rests his forehead against mine and whispers. “Tell me again.”
I bring both my hands to his hair and tilt his head so he can see the sincerity on my face. “I love you Connor. I love you so much. More than anything.” Connor pulls me to his lips with the hand on my neck and uses his other to guide me to his lap as he kisses me. His kiss is desperate, like he is starving for it. I kiss him back with everything I have and pour all my emotions into his mouth, knowing that he is feeling every one of them on his lips. When Connor starts undoing my coat I stop him. “Let’s go home. I have something to show you.” I whisper.
Connor kisses me one last time “Whatever you want Princess.”
Connor and I drive separately to our new house. Connor gets there first and when I pull up he’s standing on the front porch staring at the blue and green lights I had hung around the front. I walk up next to him and when I look at his face I realize he isn’t staring at the lights, he is looking a carved wooden sign hanging from the front door.
Connor and Nina
.
“That must be from Les, that sneaky man.” I say smiling at Les’ surprise gift.
Connor nods and pulls out his key and unlocks the door. When we step inside I know the second he sees the Christmas tree and our picture sitting on the mantle of the fireplace. He smiles at the tree and walks up to the picture and touches the green and blue stained glass frame. “Who took this? It’s of us dancing on our first date right?” He asks.
I come up behind him and link our hands together. “Lo took it. I nearly dropped her phone when I saw it. I’d remembered you l
ooking at me like that. But I’d never seen that look on my face before.”
Connor smiles smugly at me. “You loved me already.”
He says and I laugh at his cockiness, but tell the truth anyway.
“I suppose I did.”
He turns to me and his eyes are no longer dull. They are intense and bright, but there is still a hint of that desperation and fear clouding them. He brings our hands up to kiss my knuckles. “It’s been the worst two weeks of my life Nina. I need you and I don’t think I can wait.” He slams his lips into mine and backs me into the wall beside the fire place. Connor tears at my coat without breaking the kiss and I kick my shoes off. I pull at his hair feeling his need reflect mine. When he starts to peel my leggings down my thighs, I yank down his sweat pants and kick my leggings the rest of the way off and reach between us to take him in my hand. “Christ, Princess.” He hisses when I start to move my hand up and down his steel length. He removes my hand and lifts my legs around his waist bracing my back against the wall and pushes inside me in one hard thrust. We both cry out as our bodies connect for the first time since our split.
“Yes.” He hisses when he’s seated as deep as my body will allow.
I gasp at the sensation of having him inside me after so long. I’ve never thought of myself as an overly sexual person, but with Connor I feel as though it’s a necessity. I don’t ever want to go this long without feeling this again. It’s expression in its most basic form. I clutch is shoulders and run my lips up his neck and he groans.
“I love you Nina.” He says and then closes his lips around the base of my neck as he pulls back and slams forward the first time. He pauses for a moment and runs his tongue up my neck to my ear before repeating the torturous retreat and thrust a second time.
“I know, I love you.” I manage to whisper and he steals my next breath with the same desperate kiss as before. He moves inside of me at a bruising pace and I cling to him until I feel him tense. He circles his hips once and it sends us over the edge together.
He stays inside of me for a few seconds and cherishes my face with his lips. I kiss him back once I come down from my high and he slowly pulls out of me. I slide to the floor, my legs incapable of holding me up and laugh at the sight of us half clothed in the living room with Connor’s pants around his ankles. “Come on hot shot we need a shower.” I say taking his hand so he can pull me up
Connor smirks at me and his eyes are finally back to being brilliant sapphires. “Didn’t get enough of me?” He says pulling his sweats all the way off. I roll my eyes and turn him toward the master bedroom. When he gets inside he starts laughing hysterically. “Couldn’t handle sleeping in the same bed as my parents huh?”
I giggle back at him. “It wasn’t really the thought of them sleeping that made me want to go buy a new bed.”
Connor frowns and gives me a disgusted look. “Princess, if you love me. Never under any circumstances, bring that up again.”
Many hours later we are lying in our new bed in the same position as the last time we were together. He runs his fingers around my lips and smiles. “I know I’m going to sound like a big sissy right now, but I’ve been wondering, when did you know?” The way his eyes light up when he asks the question tells me he wants to know when I realized I was in love with him.
“I’m not sure. I think I knew it the morning after the tequila incident.” I say and Connor’s eyes widen.
“I’m not trying to be an ass here Nina, but that was before you laid out the “no sex” rule. If you loved me already, why….” He trails off and I giggle. He
may be an amazing guy, but he is definitely a guy.
“I wasn’t worried about being in love with you before we had sex. I was worried about knowing if you were in love with me.”
He frowns. “I must not have been as obvious as I thought I was. I’m pretty sure it started for me as soon as in the hospital. I may have even realized it that first morning in the movie theatre. It’s been building for a while.”
I kiss his lips and think about that. If what he says is true he started falling in love with me almost hours with in meeting me
and I wasn’t exactly the most charming person that day.
Connor notices my pensive look. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
I shrug. “I just don’t get it Connor. I’m a mess on a good day and you’re gorgeous and sweet and patient and thoughtful.” He scowls at me but I continue. “Why aren’t you married to a model from New York with two kids?”
He rolls on to his back and closes his eyes. “I didn’t know you in New York Nina. None of the girls I met or hooked up with made me feel the way you did when I first saw you. When I met your stubborn ass, you were beautiful but in a different way than the girls where I’m from. Softer. It made me curious and next thing I knew I wanted to know everything about you. I had to know.”
I lean up and kiss him. “I’m glad the bus crashed.”
Connor chuckles at me. “Me too, Princess.” I hear one of our phones beep from the pile of our clothes on the floor and it reminds me of something that’s been bothering me.