Authors: Phoebe Conn
placed the cup to her mouth, but she was pleased that her lip was not as swollen as she'd expected. After a little practice, she was able to sip the steaming liquid without letting it dribble down her chin.
She took care of the horses, gathered the eggs, and milked the cow, a task in which she was not yet entirely proficient, and then she returned to the house. She considered searching for Jason. In the clear light of day, it seemed doubtful he'd been the victim of an accident. It was far more likely that he'd spent the night elsewhere. That thought infuriated her all the more. First he'd left her alone to face an angry confrontation with Beau as best she could, and then he'd not even bothered to come home. Needing a distraction, she dragged the copper tub inside, heated plenty of water to fill it, and climbed in. She washed her hair; then she leaned back to soak away the cramps in her tired muscles. She'd not recommend sleeping in a rocking chair to anyone—it had left her sore all over—but by the time the water began to lose its warmth she felt somewhat better. She didn't know what to do then. It was Sunday morning, but she had no desire to ride Sunny into town to attend church alone. That would only provoke questions to which she had no answers. Gossip must already be circulating about her since she'd fainted so dramatically the previous day. At last, she decided to put on a good dress and prepare Sunday dinner as she would if she had a husband who had the courtesy to come home for meals.
It was close to noon when Jason arrived home, and he was amazed by the savory aroma which greeted him when he opened the front door. Gabrielle was seated in the rocking chair, reading from one of her treasured books while the food she had placed in the oven was baking. It was such an unexpectedly pleasant scene he was astonished and did no more than stare at the pretty young woman, waiting for her to be the first to speak. He'd bathed at the hotel and borrowed a razor so his appearance gave no clue as to how he'd spent the night. His head ached painfully, but he knew he deserved that
after the amount of whiskey he'd consumed.
Gabrielle leaped to her feet, tossing her book upon the chair cushion as she approached him. "Where have you been?*' she demanded. It was plain he'd not been lying somewhere injured and too weak to drag himself home. She was furious because he'd treated her so meanly.
Jason opened his mouth, at first meaning to say that was none of her business, but he realized suddenly he was no longer a bachelor who could call his time his own. As a married man he owed his wife some explanation of his whereabouts. First he walked past her to replace his rifle upon the pegs above the mantel. "I thought you'd prefer to entertain Beau without my presence last night," he finally said as he turned back to face her.
"What?" Gabrielle's long lashes vividly fringed her bright blue eyes as she shrieked at her husband. "You thought I'd ask him to spend the night here, alone, with me? Is that what you're saying? That you actually thought I'd invite Beau to share your bed with me?" Clearly she was appalled by his comment and could barely contain the fury of her anger.
"I'm pleased to see you're feeling like your old self again," Jason remarked slyly. "I thought you'd be glad not to have me around. I knew how far you and Beau would want to take your delight at seeing each other again, and I was discreet enough to stay away. Not every husband would be so understanding, but you needn't thank me."
"I won't!" Gabrielle screamed as she slapped Jason's face with thebackof her hand. He'd not seen the blow coming and it caught him full upon the right cheek, leaving a bright red mark which was visible even upon his deep tan.
Jason was more startled than angry. He stared at his bride, confused by her Outrage, since they both knew damn well what had happened between her and Beau. "I think we'd both better leave what happened last night unsaid. Neither of us needs to give an accounting of our companion last night." He hoped she'd think he'd not slept alone either.
"How dare you!" Gabrielle clenched her fists at her sides to restrain herself from slapping him again. "Beau was here for no more than ten minutes. I didn't appreciate your leaving me here alone with him any more than I appreciated your not coming home! I won't stand for that, Jason. I simply won't. If you plan to sleep with other women, then just say so and I'll file for a divorce. I won't put up with you if you have no intention of being faithful to me."
In an instant, Jason realized the depth of his folly. He'd just given Gabrielle the ammunition to blast him right out of her life, and that had been the farthest thing from his mind when he'd come through the door. How in the world had this woman managed to turn the tide of their argument in her favor when she was the one who'd spent the night in the arms of her lover? Unless, of course, preposterous as it might sound. Beau truly had stayed no more than a few minutes before departing. Taking a deep breath, Jason tried to sort things out in his mind before speaking aloud. "I spent the night at the hotel, alone. I didn't want to embarrass you by walking in on any tender reunion scene so I stayed away all night. If what I did was unnecessary or if it unintentionally hurt you, then I apologize."
"Jason!" Gabrielle cried out in exasperation. "I am your wife! Do you think that means nothing to me?"
"No," Jason replied honestly. "I think you are a woman who'd respect her wedding vows but I also know how dearly you love Beau. Have you forgotten that?"
That Jason had no idea she loved him more broke Gabrielle's heart, but she knew this would be a poor time to make such a declaration. He'd think she was lying, merely trying to fool him while she continued to see Beau in secret. What a wretched mess she'd made of everything. It was too late now to try and make him understand that she'd loved him for a very long time and had never had the courage or the sense to say so because she'd feared he'd only be embarrassed and would not say he loved her too. She turned away, picking up the book she'd
tossed so carelessly aside and smoothing out the pages before she replaced it in the bookcase.
"I was very worried about you. I thought perhaps something dreadful had happened to you, and I didn't even know where to look, how to try to find you. You've not taken me out riding to show me how far your property extends and—"
"Gabrielle," Jason called softly. "I said I was sorry. Let's have something to eat, and then I'll take you out riding all afternoon if you like. I'll show you the farm and where I go to hunt as well—whatever you'd like to see. Would you like that?"
Gabrielle smiled slightly. "Yes, I really would. I don't know what supper will taste like. I was so preoccupied I'm not even certain what I put in the oven." She hurried to look and was pleased to find several slices of ham baked to perfection, some yams, and a pan of corn bread. She tried not to cry as she set the table and served her husband, but she felt that everything had gone wrong and in spite of his encouragement she didn't know how to put it right.
^X.yi^.^XC^
Jason kept a close eye on Gabrielle as he escorted her around the boundaries of his property. The wheat he'd planted in the spring before departing for Missouri had simply withered in the fields, leaving nothing to harvest. He'd been trying to justify the fact that he'd not put the acreage he owned to good use without explaining why he'd had so little interest in farming to Gabrielle. That seemed like a ridiculous way to spend the afternoon if she planned to leave him, but despite his pledge to himself to make her be the one to request a divorce, he finally had to ask her a question about Beau. He reined Duke in and turned to confront her. "Where is Beau's farm?"
Startled by that question since her husband had been discussing his land and that of his immediate neighbors, Gabrielle stuttered nervously as she searched for a lucid response. "He . . . well, he doesn't have one." She brushed a wisp of hair away from her eyes and hoped he'd return to the commentary he'd been providing on his own holdings.
Finding her announcement absurd, Jason leaned forward. "But I thought that's why he made the decision to come to Oregon first, so he'd already have land and a house built when you—
"Oh, stop it, Jason!" Gabrielle snapped angrily. Unwilling to reveal any more of the brief conversation she'd had with Beau,
she jabbed her heels into Sunny's sides and left her husband where he sat. Blinded by tears, she let the stallion run across the barren fields until he slowed of his own accord. Jason overtook her then and yanked the reins from her hands with a vicious grab.
"Have you gone mad? Or have you merely chosen to ignore the danger in riding Sunrise like that?" he demanded, his handsome features set in a furious scowl.
Gabrielle didn't reply. She wound her fingers in Sunny's long flowing mane and let Jason lead her back home at the sedate walk they'd maintained all afternoon. The wild ride had been worth it though. For a few brief moments she'd enjoyed the same freedom the magnificent horse had known and she doubted there had really been any great risk. Sunny was sure footed, and she knew the burrow of a field mouse wasn't large enough to catch his hoof and trip him.
By the time they reached the barn, Jason's temper had cooled sufficiently to allow him to speak in a more reasonable tone. He helped Gabrielle down from her saddle with great care, placed her gently upon her feet, and then stepped back with a mock bow.
"You mustn't risk your life so foolishly. If you have something you want to tell me then just say it."
Gabrielle's expression grew puzzled, for she'd not understood his remark. His voice was soft, his manner inviting, but she didn't know what he expected her to confess. "The ground looked safe enough to me, surely there's no danger of quicksand or of prairie-dog burrows here."
Jason shook his head, surprised by the innocence of her response. "I was referring to the danger to you, not to Sunny." When she still appeared confused, he simply raised an eyebrow quizzically as his gaze swept the slender lines of her figure and lingered at her waist. >-
Gabrielle turned away quickly to hide her deep blush. She'd wanted to win his love by being a devoted wife, not by being the mother of his child. That was the same ploy she'd been
unwilling to use to trap him into marriage, and she'd not use it now to keep him. She hurried into the house.
Jason did not pursue her but saw to the stallions' needs before joining his wife. She was never going to tell him a damn thing, he realized, and he was so frustrated by her silence he couldn't bear it. "This is going to be the worst winter of our lives if you continue to be so secretive, Gabrielle. What do you plan to do, just ignore me every time I ask a question to which you'd rather not respond? That won't make me any the less curious you know."
Gabrielle picked up the poker and proceeded to give the coals smoldering on the hearth a few vicious jabs to vent her anger. "Jason, please!" She cried out, her frustration equal to his.
"Please what?" he inquired politely.
"Please just leave me alone to sort out everything for myself."
Jason laughed ruefully. "The last thing I will ever do is leave you alone, my pet. As long as we are man and wife, our relationship will be exactly the same as it has been."
"That's not what I meant!" Gabrielle sank down into the rocking chair, her expression a mask of sorrow as she lifted a hand to her eyes. Was he trying to fool her or himself? Nothing was the same now that they knew Beau was alive. Gathering all her courage, she looked up at her husband. "I didn't tell you the truth at the church because I didn't even know what it was. When I awakened in Reverend Murdock's study I thought my imagination had played a horribly gruesome trick on me. I didn't really believe I'd seen Beau, I thought I'd seen a man who merely resembled him. I haven't kept secrets from you, nor do I plan to do so," she explained calmly, knowing all the while that not revealing the love she felt for him was the greatest secret possible.
Jason busied himself with laying a new fire, not wanting to hear any more about Beau but unwilling to tell her to be quiet now that she'd begun to speak of her own accord. "I understand," he finally managed to mumble, but truly he
didn't and his words sounded unconvincing even in his own ears.
Mistaking his response for sarcasm, Gabrielle lost her temper completely. "Both of you are furious with me, but none of this mess was my doing!*'
Jason straightened up slowly, then turned to face her. "Is it our marriage you're calling a mess?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"No!" Gabrielle shouted emphatically. She was at a loss, able only to blame the fates for causing their argument and for ruining what little hope she'd had to make Jason happy.
Knowing he was dangerously close to forcing Gabrielle into saying the last thing he wanted to hear, Jason decided instead to seize the initiative himself. "I've no doubt Beau must have made some sort of promise to return to see you. I won't allow that, Gabrielle. The three of us are not going to pretend we're the best of friends. That's simply impossible for a reason too obvious to explain. I don't want him anywhere near you. From what I heard him say, he has no excuse for not writing to you or his parents. He was just too damn busy to bother, doing what I can't imagine if he wasn't working to make the home he'd promised you. He's no more than a boy, a tall and well built one, but also a very selfish one to have been so foolish as to have lost you." A mistake I very nearly made myself, Jason thought.
That is precisely the problem, Gabrielle thought sadly to herself. Beau hasn't lost me.
He'd been taken from her by a ghastly mistake; that was what hurt most of all. During the long painful months when she'd done little but grieve for him, he'd been alive and well and so involved in his own pursuits he'd given no thought to her. Her devotion had been repaid with willful neglect and that was too bitter a fact to accept.
"I don't even want to see him. You needn't forbid me his company; I'll do it gladly."
As her voice trailed off in a whisper, Jason's frown did not
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lift. There seemed to be no way he could turn this regrettable situation to his own advantage. Clearly she was simply angry with Beau for neglecting her. She was not refusing to see the man because she was a married woman. As usual, this was a matter between her and Beau and he was to be excluded. Turning away, he excused himself as he moved toward the door. "There's still light enough for me to see to some of the things I'd meant to do today. I'm not hungry so you needn't prepare any supper. Just go on to bed if you're tired. I'll not wake you when I come in."