Authors: Phoebe Conn
"May I stay awhile longer then?" Beau asked politely. "I've a long way to go and maybe it will let up."
"Of course you may stay." The teakettle began to whistle then, reminding her she'd not served the refreshments she'd promised, and she hurried to the kitchen to prepare them.
As they sat in front of the fire, sipping tea and enjoying the maple sugar candy, Gabrielle turned their conversation to the memories she had of him, hoping to lift his spirits. "I did not teach you half the things you taught me. Beau. You had so
much practical knowledge, so many useful skills, and I had none. I might have been successful in the schoolhouse but you were years ahead of me in everything that truly mattered."
Beau laughed at her praise; then he agreed that her estimation of herself had been correct. "I guess you were pretty helpless if you didn't have a book in your hands."
"I was pathetic, so shy I jumped at my own shadow."
"It was a very cute shadow as I recall."
Gabrielle blushed as he winked at her, and her blue eyes grew bright with the same mischief which had enchanted him when they were children.
"Come with me, Gabrielle," Beau said excitedly. "I want to go to California. We can go on down the Columbia River to Astoria and get a ship there for San Francisco. Together we can have any life we choose. We can make our dreams come true. There's millions to be made and together—"
Gabrielle shook her head slowly. "Our dream was a modest one, and had you truly believed in it as I did you would have claimed land here, built a small house, planted wheat, and come back to marry me. None of those tasks were impossible to accomplish. Plenty of other men have done them alone, including the twenty bachelors who asked Clayton Home to bring them brides." She carried her empty teacup over to the sink, surprised by the calm with which she'd recounted his failure to live up to the promise he'd made her when they'd parted. "Go to California if that's what you want to do. Just start believing in yourself and that will be the first step to making any dream you have come true."
"There's no dream worth living if I don't have you." Beau rose to his feet and came toward her. "I've learned plenty about Jason Royal in the last few days and he's a rogue by any standard. Look what he's done to you. You've not been tnarried two weeks and he's gone off chasing Indians. No husband worth his keep would have done that to his bride. He thrives on adventure. He couldn't live the peaceful life of a farmer for even two weeks, could he? He's gone, Gabrielle.
Lord knows when he*ll bother to come back."
Gabrielle's stare grew as frosty as the chill rain which continued to fall outside. ''I meant what I said. Beau. I won't leave Jason, not ever.*' She had little hope that what Beau said wasn't true, but she planned to make a home for Jason and his child no matter how infrequently he cared to occupy it. "I grew up loving you. You were the very best part of my childhood, and I shudder to think what sort of a person I'd be today if I hadn't had your love. Now I can offer you nothing but friendship. Jason means the world to me, and I'll be his wife for as long as he wants me."
''Which will be forever!" Beau responded hoarsely.
"I certainly hope so." Gabrielle went to the back door and opened it a crack to peer outside. "The storm's gotten worse. I'll not ask you to leave, but if you want to stay you must promise to treat me with the same respect you've always shown."
Beau clenched his fists at his sides, infuriated by that insult. 'Til not rape you if that's what you mean. I love you far too much to take by force what you no longer want to give."
Gabrielle closed the door and leaned back against it as she turned to face him. His defiant stare was difficult to return when she knew exactly what he was thinking. There had always been something magical about their relationship, something precious to them both. They had been far too cautious to make love. She'd been too young, and if she were to become pregnant they knew her aunt would have called it rape and sent Beau to prison. Neither of them had been willing to take that risk when they'd thought there would be plenty of time to express the depth of their love in every way possible once they were married. "I am trying to be glad for what we had. Beau, not to grieve any longer for what we've lost. I can't bear to see you bitter when our love was so very beautiful. Isn't there some way you can accept what must be and let me go?"
His eyes filling with angry tears. Beau responded swiftly. "No! Not when the woman I love insists she wants to stay
married to a man who's deserted her on their honeymoon!"
Gabrielle thought honeymoon an odd way to describe the beginning of her marriage, for truly she and Jason had been working from dawn to dusk with only a few brief hours to enjoy the marvelous attraction which existed between them. "That's enough. Beau. Think me simply fickle, or a fool if you must, but stop insulting Jason or I'll insist you leave no matter how foul the weather has become."
Beau swore under his breath and turned away, deciding he'd be wise to simply bide his time. He added wood to the fire and, taking a book he recognized from the bookshelf, sat down and began to read.
Pleased that he'd decided to be so reasonable, Gabrielle turned her attention to preparing supper. She'd planned to make a pot_of soup so there would be plenty of that for her unexpected guest. Once the rich stock was simmering, she added the vegetables which took the longest to cook and put a pan of cornbread in the oven. Returning to her place by the fire, she made herself comfortable and waited for Beau to speak. They'd read all of Shakespeare's plays, acting out the parts in order to understand the complexities of the plots, but to see Beau contentedly read such difficult material on his own impressed her.
Sensing her curiosity. Beau gave her a sly grin. "Remember Romeo and Juliet? Would you like to act it out again?"
Gabrielle shook her head emphatically. "Oh no. I think we came too close to living that tragedy to be amused by reading it."
Beau realized his mistake instantly and closed the heavy book. "I'm sorry you thought I was dead. I know that doesn't ease what you must have suffered, but I'd never knowingly hurt you, honey, you must know that."
As Gabrielle's gaze swept his well-shaped features, she wondered why he didn't realize that that was exactly what he had done by not even attempting to live up to the promises he'd made to her before he'd left for Oregon. She had grown up
while he'd been gone, but obviously he hadn't. Perhaps he never would. Rather than respond to his question truthfully and begin another argument she went back to the stove to check the progress of their supper.
'*Vm still not much of a cook, Vm afraid, but this soup is always good."
'Tm sure it will be delicious." Beau waited a moment, and when she did not reply but began to set the table, he again opened the book and continued to read.
As she served the simple meal, Gabrielle could not deny that she still enjoyed Beau's company. He smiled often and his love was so obvious in each gesture and glance that she could not help but be flattered. However, she had not the slightest desire to display the affection she still felt for him with more than words. Her emotions confused her. She knew she loved Beau, but she felt none of the deep longing she experienced when Jason was near. Jason's appeal was magnetic, an attraction she'd never been able to deny, while Beau's was like the gentle warmth of a summer day. She did not feel guilty for going against her husband's wishes and entertaining him when their relationship had become an innocent one.
When they'd finished eating and had washed the supper dishes. Beau walked to the door to assess the progress of the storm. 'This downpour isn't going to let up all night, and since I know you don't want me in here, do you mind if I borrow a blanket or two and sleep in the barn?"
Gabrielle thought his request absurd. 'There are extra beds in the loft. I'll give you bedding and you may sleep up there. I'll not ask the best friend I've ever had to sleep in the barn. That's good enough for the animals but not for you."
Beau closed the door and walked toward her. "Are you sure you want me in here tonight?"
The warmth of his smile was very inviting, but Gabrielle simply ignored it. "Yes, I trust you to behave well."
Beau's expression did not change. He'd known she'd not make him sleep in the barn before he'd suggested it, but he
wanted to make her think his being inside had been her own idea. The storm was making a fearful racket, and he hoped as soon as she got into bed alone she'd become frightened. Then it would be most natural for her to seek comfort in his arms; she'd done it all her Hfe. Only that night he meant to take things further than he ever had before, with her consent of course. They sat by the fire awhile longer; then she gave him the bedding she'd promised and he bid her good night without asking for so much as a kiss upon the cheek. Once he'd made one of the beds in the loft, he didn't bother to get in. He just pulled off his shirt and boots and stretched out on top of the covers, waiting for Gabrielle to call for him.
Gabrielle got ready for bed. Although she'd told Beau she trusted him, she was no fool. She bolted her bedroom door securely. What she'd told Beau about Jason was a brave front. She did feel deserted and she had little hope that her husband's return would be a rapid one, but she'd not use Beau's generous affection as a substitute for Jason's. She could scarcely sleep with the young man and then send him on his way the next morning as if she'd merely owed him her favors for the many years they'd loved each other but had been unable to express their affection with more than fevered kisses and caresses. Their exchanges, she recalled, had been as intimate as any lover's could be. In one way she could justify making love as something they should have done long ago, but since they hadn't, she knew it would betray the memory of their love to sleep together now and then part. She got into bed and said a quiet prayer for Jason's safety and then a prayer for Beau. It was a long while before she fell asleep.
Beau became increasingly impatient as lightning continued to flash through the heavens and thunder shook the sturdy house with the fury of its power. Finally he could wait no longer for Gabrielle to summon him. He climbed back down the ladder and went to her bedroom door. He laid his ear upon the wood and strained for the sound of weeping but heard none. Apparently Gabrielle was sound asleep while the thunderstorm
buffeted the house with a torrent of rain. Careful to make no sound, he tried the door handle. Finding it locked, he raised his hand and pounded upon her door. "Gabrielle! Wake up!'' he called loudly.
Startled from her dreams by the sound of his voice, Gabrielle sat up to reply. "What is it. Beau?"
Having no ready response. Beau simply made up one. "There's water seeping in under the windows. I've cleaned it up, but perhaps you should come look at the problem before it gets any worse."
"I'll be right there." Not even suspecting his ruse, Gabrielle leaped out of bed, threw back the bolt, and opened her door. "Which windows are they?" she asked anxiously, surprised the rain had not seeped in before then.
Beau did not reply, but swept her into his arms, his mouth covering hers with an urgent kiss he had no intention of ending until she began to respond. She struggled against him, but he had her arms pinned to her sides and knew she could do him no harm.
Cursing herself for being such an incredible fool, Gabrielle tore her mouth away from Beau's and screamed at him to release her.
"How dare you!"
Undaunted, Beau grabbed a handful of her hair and drew her closer still as he whispered. "How dare you tell me no!" He shoved her backward into the bedroom, ready to toss her upon the bed. But he wanted her to admit she still wanted him so he kissed her again, hoping to revive the love he knew she'd once felt for him.
Imprisoned in Beau's passionate embrace, Gabrielle could scarcely breathe. His kisses were suffocating her while his hands moved over her breasts with a knowing touch she couldn't escape. If she gave in to his demands, she knew he'd treat her sweetly. If she didn't his uncontrollable temper would soon flare up and the force of his confining grasp might swiftly turn to savage blows which could cost the life of her
unborn child. She was no more than a few weeks pregnant, the new Hfe within her doubtless a tenuous one, but she'd not risk the babe for any reason. Having to surrender to Beau's unbridled lust rather than risk a beating which could have tragic results seemed a terrible alternative, but as a bolt of lightning lit the room she had a sudden inspiration. She went limp in his arms, hoping he'd think she'd fainted, and he caught her as she ceased to struggle.
"Gabrielle!" Beau was the one who was terrified now. He'd not meant to harm the beautiful young woman he loved, only to make her admit she was rightfully his. Overcome with remorse he placed her gently upon the bed and quickly lit the lamp upon the dresser so he might see her face. He rubbed her hands and gave a sigh of relief when he saw her eyelids begin to flutter. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear I didn't!" He brought her hands to his lips as he begged her to forgive him.
Perhaps if he hadn't reminded her of how greatly they'd enjoyed acting out plays together, Gabrielle might not have tried such a dangerous ploy. However, she seized the advantage which was now hers and lifted her hand to cover her eyes as she whispered sadly, "Just leave me now. Beau, and in the morning neither of us need speak of this unfortunate encounter. I will forgive you if you will but leave me now of your own accord."
Ashamed to think how badly he'd treated the only woman he'd ever loved. Beau leaned down to kiss her cheek lightly and then left her room, closing the door. He climbed the ladder to the loft, threw himself across the bed he'd made up, and furious with his own folly, wept like a child for having been so mean to Gabrielle. He had failed her in every way possible, and it had cost him the greatest wealth he could ever hope to own, the treasure of her love. When he awakened the next morning with a splitting headache, he was too embarrassed to climb down the ladder and face her.