Saved By You (26 page)

“Maybe,” I said. “If you see something, let me know.”

She smiled.

We laid there in silence for a long time. It was nice to have someone around that understood me. Sarah understood that, sometimes, I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. My phone buzzed on the nightstand next to the bed. We both glanced over at it, but I didn’t move. Sarah watched it buzz a few times, then looked at me.

“Not going to get that?” she asked.

I shook my head. It wasn’t the first call I’d avoided.

“Scottie stopped by a little bit ago,” she said after a pause.

“That was sweet of him,” I said.

“So… did he and your mom have a
thing
?” she asked.

I took a breath. “Yeah, I think so.”

She nodded, and we laid there in silence for a while longer. The clamor and music outside had faded away completely, and the evening crickets were beginning to sing their songs. Usually, they were annoying—but, in that moment, they were normal. I needed normal.

“So, call me crazy, but I could have sworn I saw Kyle skulking around here earlier,” she said.

“You’re crazy,” I said, dryly. She snorted a little laugh.

“You’re probably right,” she said. I couldn’t help but grin. “Actually, the crazy part was that I
didn’t
see Haden,” she said.

I swallowed. “They weren’t here long,” I said. My voice was tight. I had been trying to
not
think about Haden—but that was impossible.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked, after a while.

“What’s there to talk about?” I sighed.

She nodded her head again. Sarah was the only one who knew everything that was going on. I hadn’t kept anything from her—and even the both of us couldn’t figure out what to make of the situation. Apparently dating a rock star isn’t the most straight forward thing to do.

“You going to run off with him?” she asked.

My brow pinched together, and I turned to look at her.

“Why would you say that?” I said.

She jerked her palms in the air. “Well, there’s nothing stopping you anymore,” she said. A second passed, and she let out a little sigh. “I’m sorry, that was pretty insensitive.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said, shaking my head.

“So… are you?” she prompted. I gave her a stern look. “I just need to know if I have to start preparing what I’m going to tell Grandma and my mom. Just so you know, they’ll probably come hunt you down.”

“I’m an adult, I can do what I want,” I said.

“That’s true.”

“No… I’m not going to run off with him.”

She let out a little breath and we were quiet for a time. I had been staring at the ceiling for so long that it was beginning to look funny—like when you repeat a word really fast, over and over, and it loses its meaning and just turns into sounds. That’s what it was like with the ceiling.

“So where does that leave you?” she asked.

I shook my head. “There’s really only one thing left,” I said.

“Man, that sucks,” she said. “You two were so good together.”

“That’s kind of the problem—isn’t it? We can’t actually be
together
.”

The phone buzzed, again. Sarah jerked her head toward it, surprised, then looked at me. She watched me for a time, then reached over and grabbed the phone.

“It’s Haden,” she said.

I nodded. “I know.”

“Looks like he’s left you a couple messages.”

“I know,” I said, again.

She gave me a long look—her eyes narrowed.

“Maybe we should listen to one of them—just to make sure it’s not an emergency or anything.”

I looked over at her, studying her for a second. She was poised over the phone, just waiting for me to give her permission. I nodded my head in a swift jerk.

Sarah punched a few of the keys on the phone, and the most recent message began playing over the speaker.

“
Hey Maggie, it’s Haden… again. I hope everything’s alright. Listen, I really need to talk to you—so, either give me a call back, or come meet me at the rehearsal tomorrow. We need to talk.
”

When the message beeped and ended, Sarah gave me an ominous look.

“Sounds pretty serious,” she said. I nodded.

I played the message over in my head one more time. Haden had sounded nervous—pained. I didn’t want to consider what he could possibly want to talk about.

Sarah’s eyes were fixed on me. They looked sad.

“Maggie, I’m so sorry,” she said.

Then she laid back and curled up against me, and we held each other for a long time, neither of us saying anything.

The next morning I took my time getting up and getting ready. It was the first day of the rest of my life—and I was going to start off the rest of my life by breaking up with the only man I’d ever loved. I guess the world is funny like that, sometimes.

I took my time getting ready. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to facing Haden—but it had to be done. I couldn’t see any way around it. Might as well get it over with.

The drive down to the community college felt even longer than it had the last time. When I pulled into the parking lot, there were fewer cars there. But Haden’s Beamer was one of them.

I slid into the parking spot next to it, and took a deep breath before climbing out of the car. I was more nervous about seeing him than I was going to Mom’s memorial the day before.

As I entered the lobby, I heard the band playing one of their songs. It was my favorite—
Brandy Sweet
. It was the same song that Haden had played during his audition—if you could have called it an audition. I recognized his guitar playing before I even rounded the corner into the auditorium. He had a certain style that was becoming familiar to my ear. I loved the way he played. I loved a lot of things about him.

Apparently, not enough things
.

I took another deep breath, and pushed forward into the auditorium. The house lights were on, and I saw Stacey sitting by herself in the third row. The band members were all facing each other while they played—communicating the ebb and flow of the song in real time. I pressed forward, and turned down the aisle to sit next to Stacey. She flashed me a surprised smile as I slid into the seat next to hers.

“Come to see them rehearse?” she said, a smile on her face. “They’re really starting to sound good together.”

“Here to talk to Haden, actually,” I said.

“Oh.”

She didn’t press the topic, but it was clear that she was suspicious about the tone of my voice. I didn’t offer any explanation. Talking to Haden was going to be hard enough—I wasn’t about to try and explain things to Stacey, too.

When they finished the song, they all gathered in a tighter circle to talk it over. None of them had even seen me come in.

“Hey, Haden, you have a visitor,” Stacey yelled.

A nervous ball twined inside of me when he looked over at me. I swallowed hard.

“Hey guys, can we take five?” he said. They all nodded.

I gave Stacey a tight smile, and slid out into the aisle. Haden met me off to the side of the stage, his face dark and serious.

“Hi,” I said.

He studied me for a second.

“I was worried about you last night,” he said. “You weren’t answering your phone.”

I cringed. “Sorry about that,” I said.

I didn’t want to make up an excuse, and tell him that I had the phone turned off. But I didn’t think he wanted to hear the truth, either.

He let out a sharp sigh.

We stared at each other for what felt like an hour—neither of us wanting to talk first. I swallowed hard, again, knowing that if one of us didn’t say something, we weren’t going to get anywhere.

“You wanted to see me?” I said, softly.

He nodded. “I needed to tell you something,” he said. I raised my eyebrows. He let out a soft sigh. “I need to head back to LA,” he said.

“Back to LA?” I said, my eyes widening. My stomach did a twist and tried to drop through my feet.

After all of my agonizing, was Haden about to break up with
me
? Had our relationship—or whatever it was—boiled down to this? I didn’t know why I felt so dejected. Wasn’t I about to break up with him? Wasn’t this doing me a favor?

A look of horror washed over him, and he held his palms up.

“Just for a few days,” he said, quickly. “Not permanent, or anything.”

“Oh,” I said. I let out a breath, but my insides were on fire again.

“There’s a few things I’ve been putting off and need to take care of,” he said. “But I’ll be back in time for the Battle.”

“Right, the Battle,” I said.

My voice was detached as my mind drifted over to the band on the stage. I tried to push them out of my thoughts—now was not the time to start feeling guilty.

Haden’s head tilted to the side while he looked at me.

“Is everything alright?” he said. “You look like something’s bothering you.”

My lips pursed together. I tried to say that everything was fine—but couldn’t. Everything was most certainly
not
fine. I pinched my eyes shut, and let out a soft breath.

“It’s just that… Maybe you shouldn’t come back,” I said.

My insides were twisting in full circles, now. My fingers went numb from nervousness—I was surprised my hands weren’t shaking violently.

Haden’s eyes narrowed, and he looked confused. “Maybe I
shouldn’t
come back?” he repeated. He shook his head. “I don’t understa…” His voice trailed off, mid sentence. The tightness in his features slackened and drooped. “Oh,” he said, finally.

He stared at me for a long moment, not saying anything. I couldn’t read the layers of emotions that were rolling through him—but I knew he was upset.

“It’s just that, we both know you belong there,” I said, trying to explain. “You belong with your band—you belong in LA.”

He shook his head, slowly. “Don’t do this, Maggie,” he said. “Don’t do this—we can figure this out together.”

I let out a sigh, and looked around.

“It’s like this whole trip—ever since I left Jersey—has felt like a twisted fairy tale. It’s been one unbelievable thing after another. You. Mom. The job.” I let out another soft sigh, and waved my hand. “I just want to feel normal again—I just want to get back to my life. And you should get back to your life, too.”

Haden shook his head. He set his jaw in a determined way. “This isn’t a fairy tale for me,” he said. “I’ve seen the fairy tale, and there isn’t always a happily ever after. There are no guarantees—ever.” He let out a sigh. “I want to get back to my life,” he said. “And I want my life to be with
you
.

I cringed, swallowing hard. He wasn’t going to make this easy on me. Breaking up with him would have been a lot easier if I wasn’t so completely in love with him.

I shook my head. “You don’t belong in some little country town. You belong on a tour bus, with your band, traveling all over the place.”

“No,” he said, refusing to listen. “No. Let’s figure this out together. We can make
us
work.”

He took a step forward, and touched his fingers to my cheek before I could dip away. An electric jolt shot straight through me. I snapped back, out of his reach, but my body was already buzzing. Haden’s hand fell to his side, limp, and he had a look of wide-eyed horror on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said, taking another step away. “I’m sorry—I can’t do this.” I began to back off, letting my feet carry me before my heart made them stop.

“You can’t do this,” Haden said. It took every bit of my willpower to turn my back on him, and begin walking toward the back of the auditorium as fast as I could. “You’re making a mistake,” he called out. His voice was loud, and the auditorium acoustics made it echo.

I glanced over my shoulder, one more time. Haden stood, fixed in place, watching me. Pain twisted his face. Everyone else was looking between us, shocked and confused. I took the moment in, and then kept walking straight out of the building, and out of Haden’s life.

I spent the next week cooped up in the guesthouse. Well, I shouldn’t say cooped up, rather I just didn’t feel like leaving. I avoided calls and messages from Haden. Eventually, they trickled away until they stopped altogether.

The first few days weren’t so bad. I did some reading, and watched some TV. Then it got to the point where I didn’t even feel like doing that, either. Sarah came and hung out with me everyday—and Grandma spent some time with me. Mostly, everyone gave me my space, though. It was a weird time—a reflective time. I had to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Everything I thought I had known before had been upended—and it left me feeling alone and clueless.

Finally, one day, Sarah poked her head into the room that Mom had stayed in that I’d claimed as my own.

“Okay, Maggie,” she said—there was determination set in her cheeks. “You need to get out of this funk.”

“I’m not in a funk,” I said.

“You’re definitely in a funk,” she said. “No one wants to say it, and no one blames you for it, but you’re in one.”

I let out a sigh, shaking my head. “I don’t know what to do,” I said.

Sarah gave me a soft smile. “Let’s start with something small—like, maybe going outside.”

I gave her a flat stare. “You know what I mean,” I said.

She sat down next to me, and we were both quiet for a time. “I don’t know,” she said. “You just have to take things one step at a time. No big life decisions, or anything like that.”

I nodded, not wanting to let out a groan. There were plenty of big life decisions that needed to be made—and made soon. I had to figure out what I was going to do with college. If I was still going to try to go to State back in New York, I needed to start figuring out how I was going to get back there and get everything setup and taken care of.

The idea of
not
going to State had never occurred to me before. It had been something I wanted to do for so long, that I never considered much else. But, now that everything had changed, I wasn’t sure if it was still the best choice.

Sarah gave me a little smile. “What about getting a drink at the Saloon?” she said. I shot her a worried look.

“You remember what happened last time I did that,” I said.