Saved By You (22 page)

“You don’t have…” I began, but she clapped her hand on mine, cutting me off.

“I didn’t treat you like the girl I raised,” she continued. Her lips curled back in a smile. “You’re a beautiful girl, and you’re smart. I was just… scared.” Her eyes grew distant and I felt horrible for ever having been upset with her. “I think I knew I wouldn’t be around long,” she said. “I didn’t want to see you hurt.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to worry about me, anymore,” I said. I tried to give her as serious a look as I could, but the tears were still flowing freely. “You
did
raise a smart and beautiful girl. You are…” My voice quivered, and another sob came out. I pinched my eyes shut, and my head nearly crumpled under the weight of everything. I took a sharp breath, and tried again.

“You’re the best mom anyone could have,” I said.

Her lip quivered too, and we squeezed each other’s hands. I scooted onto the edge of the bed with her, and did my best to curl up into her arms. I closed my eyes and tried to remember exactly how she felt—exactly how she smelled. That smell wouldn’t be around much longer.

When I finally looked back up, she was giving me a soft look. Her head tilted forward, and her lips moved, slowly.

“One more lesson, then,” she said, softly.

I nodded at her, intent on her every word.

“Once I loved a man,” she began. “And he loved me.” My heart pounded even harder in my chest. “The biggest mistake I ever made was not thinking I was good enough.” She gave me a soft smile.

“Scottie?” I asked. Her head tilted forward only a fraction of an inch.

She let out a long sigh. “I had a choice…” she said, her voice trailing off.

I gave her a soft smile. She looked so sad, but I didn’t know what to say.

“At least you got me,” I offered.

Her smile spread a bit wider.

“I was going to get you either way,” she said. My brow pinched together, confused about what she meant by that, but, before I could ask, she continued on. “I hope I’ve taught you that you’re good enough for anyone,” she said. “Don’t ever settle.”

I frowned, thinking about Haden.

“I don’t think it’s that simple, Mom,” I said. I rested my head against her chest, again. I could feel her ribs press into me with each breath she took. “It’s so complicated.”

She ran her fingers through my hair. Her touch was soft and gentle.

“It’s only as complicated as you make it,” she said.

I curled up against her even tighter. I didn’t want that moment to end. I knew that it was going to be the last time I ever spoke to my mother—and I didn’t want it to end.

“I love you, Mom,” I said.

“I love you, too, dear.”

She rested a hand on my shoulder, and cupped mine in the other. We held each other like that until everyone came back in to check on us. I wasn’t going to move until I had to.

By the time everyone came back, Mom was already back to her normal self. That is to say, what had been normal over the last few days. She was exhausted again, and could barely speak.

Had she woken up just to say goodbye to me?

I considered it, and decided that it was exactly what had happened. Mom and I hadn’t really put our faith in a higher power in a long time, but, right then, I was curious if we were wrong.

Grandma gave me a soft look when they came back in. She could tell that the conversation with Mom had taken a lot out of me. I was drained—physically, and emotionally. I just didn’t have anything left. I wanted to crawl into bed and not come out for a month.

“Why don’t you get out of here for a bit,” she said.

I frowned at her. “What do you mean?” I asked.

She shrugged a shoulder. “You’ve been cooped up here for the last few days. Maybe it’s a good idea if you get out and get some fresh air.”

The thought was appealing, but I didn’t know if I could do it.

“I need to be here for Mom,” I said.

“She’ll be fine, child,” she said. “If anything changes I can give you a call. Everything will be fine.”

My thoughts went straight to Haden. I hadn’t seen him since he’d dropped me off after our date to the falls, and a part of me was dying to know what was going on between us. I didn’t know if I should be calling him, or if I should just be leaving him alone. It would take a load off my shoulders if I was able to figure that situation out.

I gave her a slow nod.

“Okay,” I said. “But, you’ll call me if
anything
comes up, right?”

Her smile was warm. “Of course, dear,” she said.

Minutes later I was driving the ‘Vette toward town. Haden was at rehearsals, and I was going to have to make a little surprise visit if I wanted to talk to him. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, though. Without Seth around, the band seemed like a pretty cool group of guys.

A groan rumbled through me as I thought about Seth. He was the lead guitarist that Haden had replaced. Correction—he was the lead guitarist that Haden had got in a fight with because of something he said to me—because of that vile name he had called me.

I shook my head, trying to push the memories away. There was only one thing to focus on right then, and that was getting everything sorted with Haden.

It took about ten minutes to drive to the community college where the rehearsals were taking place. A number of cars were parked in the parking lot, and I pulled into a spot next to Haden’s BMW. I wondered, idly, when he would actually return the rental.

The auditorium they were using to practice was something you could have pulled straight from any high school. For that matter, the college campus didn’t look much bigger than any high school campus either. I pulled on a few of the doors until I found one that was unlocked, and I heard the sounds of the band echoing through the lobby, immediately.

I rounded a few corners as I worked my way back toward the main seating area, and was surprised to see just how big the auditorium was. It could have held a few thousand people, easily. There was a row of a few people sitting toward the front, and the band was aligned on the stage next to all of their instruments. My eyes locked on Haden straight away.

He was wearing tight jeans with a buttoned up blue shirt. He had a thick black band around his left wrist, and a familiar-looking electric guitar hung from its strap around his shoulder. He was strumming it, slowly, and he tweaked the knobs on the end of the guitar between each strum. The band appeared to be talking about something, though Haden looked like he was paying little attention to them.

A tight knot of nerves appeared in my stomach as I watched him. This could be the last time that I was coming to visit him. It had never occurred to me that, after everything we’d been through, it might all come to an end that afternoon. We needed to figure things out. I needed to know if Haden was really committed to
me
, or if he still planned to go out on tour with his band.

I groaned as I considered how selfish I was still being. It’s not like it would be an awful thing if Haden wanted to go on tour. That had been his dream after all, right? Who was I to hold him back from the goal that he had worked so hard to achieve?

With a final deep breath, I set off toward the stage. I hadn’t made it more than a few steps when a hand grabbed me out of nowhere.

Spinning around, I saw the voluminous bloom of blond hair that erupted in front of me. The hand was bony, and the arm it was attached to was gangly.

Kyle
.

He spun me around, and started walking me back out to the lobby.

“What are you doing?” I said in a hushed whisper. “Let me go.”

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice tight.

With a final jerk, I freed myself from him. But, with one look at his face, I could tell there was something serious going on. I followed him to the lobby, quietly, wondering what had happened.

When we were out of eye-shot of the stage, he whirled on me.

“Why haven’t you ended it yet?” he said, his tone dark.

My eyes went wide as I looked at him.

“Excuse me?” I said. “I thought we moved past the part where you were an ass to me?”

He shook his head. “And I thought we had an agreement?” he said.

A twinge of guilt shot through me, but I tried hard to ignore it. I pursed my lips tight, and gave him a hard look. He stared at me, dumbly, waiting for a response. When I didn’t say anything, he flipped out a hand, his eyes going wide.

“Did you change your mind or something?” he asked, his head shaking.

I tilted back on my heels, shifting my weight. I shook my head.

“I don’t know,” I said. He leaned forward, waving his hand for me to explain. I shrugged. “I just think it should be Haden’s decision—don’t you?”

“We both know what he’s going to choose,” he said. “That was the whole reason you were supposed to handle it yourself. You can’t give him a choice.”

“It’s not that simple,” I said.

“It is,” Kyle said, his voice hard. “You just walk up to him, tell him it’s not working out, and that you can’t see him anymore.”

I frowned. “I tried that before,” I said. “And he told me he wasn’t going to leave Green Falls without me.”

My stomach still fluttered when I thought about him telling me that. It had been one of the most honest and sincere things anyone had ever said to me.

“That was then,” Kyle said. “Things are different, now.”

“How so?” I asked, my face tightening.

Kyle regarded me for a long moment. He looked at me like I was an idiot who needed everything spelled out for them.

“He said that then because he knew you were upset with him,” he said. “He wasn’t going to leave you like that.”

My face was still tight. “And what’s so different about it now?” I said. “What makes you think he’ll leave if I tell him to?”

Kyle gave me a serious look. “If you tell him now, he’ll know it’s for real,” he said. “He’ll believe you when you tell him you don’t want anything to do with him.”

I gave him a pained look. I knew he was right. But I also knew that I didn’t want Haden to go.

“I love him,” I said.

Kyle’s eyes flashed and narrowed for an instant. Then, the steely look he was giving me melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he took a step toward me.

“I know,” he said, softly. “But, don’t let that love get in the way of his dreams.” He watched me quietly as the weight of what he said sank in. I shook my head, trying to remind myself just how unfair life was. When I finally looked back up at him, he gave me a slow nod. “We’re running out of time,” he said. “If I don’t get him back to LA, soon, we can kiss the tour goodbye.”

I cringed and felt my legs wobble. Kyle’s eyes searched me, and I nodded that I understood what he was saying. He reached out and gave me a slow pat on the shoulder, and then walked past me back into the auditorium.

Life seriously sucks, sometimes.

I stood in the lobby for a few minutes, trying to compose myself. I blew out a deep breath, and set myself to what I had to do. I needed to talk to Haden—I had to be straight with him. Maybe that meant that I had to push him away?

I poked my head around the corner and into the main auditorium room. Kyle had disappeared off somewhere, and the band was still on the stage discussing what they were going to play. Haden stood there with a bored look on his face, not even bothering to mess with his guitar anymore.

I took a few steps into the room, nervously, and then a few more as my confidence grew. This was just something I had to do. As I realized that there was no alternative, I realized that there was no reason to put it off. I couldn’t stand the distance between us over the last few days. Maybe he didn’t even want to be with me anymore? Maybe he was planning on going on tour the whole time.

When I was almost at the stage, August, the lead singer, saw me and waved. The rest of the band turned and looked, too. They all knew me from the scene I had put on for them in San Antonio—when I had rudely interrupted their practice. Haden’s eyes connected with mine, too. They widened in surprise, and he pulled the guitar off his shoulder and set it on its stand.

“Why don’t we take five,” August announced.

Haden hopped down off the front of the stage and walked up to me at the same time that Stacey appeared from the row of people in the audience. Stacey Meyer was the band’s manager, and she had been the one responsible for getting me a second chance to check out the band after I’d horribly botched the first one.

“Maggie, it’s so good to see you,” she said, a huge smile on her face. “I bet you’re really busy getting everything setup for the big show, aren’t you?”

I gave her a tight smile.

“That’s not really my thing,” I said. I realized how rude that sounded, and quickly added, “I mean… Scottie’s handling that part. I was just supposed to find the band.”

She gave me a polite nod.

“Well, we’re all glad that everything’s working out. Haden here has been a real blessing for us—he really knows his stuff.”

Haden shot her an awkward smile.

“Thanks,” he said. “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t be so bashful,” she said. “There’s a reason Rolling Stone is raving about that little band of yours.”

Haden and I both stared at her, confused.

“What are you talking about?” he said, quickly.

She gave him a puzzled look. “No one’s shown you the article?” she said, genuinely surprised.

She rifled through the stack of papers in her hand until she pulled out the July 2013 edition of Rolling Stone. She held it up for us to see. In the bottom right hand corner of the cover was a little blurb that read “Are
You
a Believer?” There was a small promo picture of the band attached to it. It must have been a few months old, because Haden’s hair was a lot shorter.

I groaned as an all new tension rifled through me. Haden stared at the cover for a long time, his face openly shocked.

“Would you mind if I kept that?” he asked, jabbing a finger at it.

Stacey shrugged. “Not at all,” she said. “We’ve got plenty of copies.”

He pursed his lips in a tight smile as he took it from her.

“Well, Maggie, it’s been wonderful seeing you. I hope we see you at the show.”