Saving Dr. Ryan (12 page)

“Go on, now,” she said, her voice barely audible over the sound of the chicken sputtering and sizzling on the stove behind her. “Show the doctor what a good job you're doing.”

The boy's shoulders tensed; clamping down on the crayon even harder, he shook his head.

There were shadows in Maddie's eyes when she returned her gaze to Ryan's, shadows which didn't quite vanish when she smiled.

“Well. Good. You're back. I timed it just right, then,” she said, swiping her hair out of her eyes with her wrist. “The kids already ate, but I figured you wouldn't mind something that didn't come out of a casserole dish for a change. So why don't you go on ahead and get washed up, dinner'll be in about ten minutes. And afterward, we can discuss my idea.”

Uh-oh. “Idea?”

Her smile was just the slightest bit unsteady. “Uh-huh. And this one makes a lot more sense than the first one did.”

He could only hope.

 

He'd eaten four pieces of chicken. No, make that five. And mashed potatoes with gravy and fresh steamed broccoli—which actually wasn't all that bad, the way Maddie cooked it—and biscuits. Oh, sweet merciful heaven, the woman could make biscuits. Then she put the older two to bed, saying he'd need the time to let his dinner settle before the cherry pie.

Cherry pie?

They'd managed to redistribute a lot of the offerings from the week before, including most of the desserts, but there hadn't been a cherry pie among them. And Ryan was quite partial to cherry pie.

Quite
partial.

Maddie came back to the kitchen, met his gaze, then let out a sigh. “I'm real sorry about the way Noah acted before dinner. When you tried to see what he was coloring? That last year or so, Jimmy…well, he seemed to forget a lot that Noah was just a little boy. He got on his case about a lot of things he shouldn't've. It's made Noah real sensitive, afraid of being criticized, you know? He didn't mean to be rude—”

“Maddie,” Ryan said quietly, “it's okay. Little guy's been through a lot.” He felt his mouth twitch. “And I don't offend easily, believe me.”

She smiled a little at that, then stood there fiddling with her hands, as if she wasn't sure what came next.

Ryan sat back in his chair, his hands braced on the edge of the table. “Been a long time since I had a meal like that in my own kitchen. In fact, I don't think I've
ever
had a meal like that in my own kitchen.”

Her smile loosened up some. “So it was okay?”

“A lot more than okay, Maddie. I may not be able to move for a week. Where'd you learn to cook like that?”

A cloud flitted across her eyes before she went to clear the plates. “From my last foster mother. Grace Idlewild…no,
no—it's okay, I've got it,” she said when Ryan tried to help her. “Anyway, Grace figured learning how to cook would give me something to do other than sit around and mope all day.”

“Did it work?”

“Not at first. Until she told me if I wanted to eat, I'd have to cook. So I learned. It's all just plain home-cooking, though.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

Her gaze flicked to his. “I was afraid you'd maybe compare me to your mother or something.”

“My mother?” He shook his head. “Not a chance. Mama was a musician—she taught piano and violin—not a domestic. In fact, if it hadn't been for Ethel, our housekeeper, no telling what we would have eaten.”

“Ethel? The same Ethel Cal was talking about?”

“The very same. She's in her seventies now, but tough as they come.” Then something occurred to him. “Where'd you get the food? Don't tell me you spent your own money on this.”

She'd been gathering up the pie and what-all at the counter; he saw her hesitate a moment before carting it all over to the table. “It was all on special,” she said. “But even so, I considered it…an investment. Look,” she went on before he could question her, “why don't you serve up the pie while I get Amy Rose settled in for her feed? I can eat one-handed, but I can't cut a pie that way.”

So he did, just as glad for something to do while Maddie unbuttoned her blouse and put the baby to breast. But… “What do you mean, this was an ‘investment'?”

He saw the flush sweep up her cheeks, had a devil of a time tamping down his protective response to it.

“Okay.” She cleared her throat, then started in about her bill and needing a place to stay and how he probably wouldn't mind coming home to a real meal now and again, adding, “And then I saw all that paperwork piled up on your desk and I thought—”

“You were in my office?”

She'd been busy poking her fork over and over again into her pie crust while she'd been prattling on, but now she lifted her chin and she looked right at him, which he'd already learned was a clear sign that she was both nervous and determined not to let it stop her. “Since the door wasn't closed, I didn't figure I was exactly breaking any rules. And if I was, I'm sorry.”

“You don't look sorry.”

A tiny smile flickered around her mouth. “Well, I don't suppose I saw anything your other patients don't. Anyway, my point is…before I got married, I used to work summers for a construction company, doing filing and billing and what-all, so I thought maybe I could help you out, too.”

He frowned. “Maddie, this is a doctor's office. Not a construction company.”

Now she lowered her chin. The better to stare him down, he thought. “It's all just record keeping, isn't it? And I'm a real fast learner. You only have to show me once what to do, and I've got it. Or tell me where to call for the insurance stuff and let them help me figure it out, whatever. But from the looks of things, Dr. Logan, I'd say you need me. You need me real bad.”

He'd never seen a pair of eyes that could manage to look so innocent and so…not at the same time.

Or that held the potential to make him feel foolish things.

Want to do foolish things.

Now it was Ryan's turn to poke at his piecrust. Well, he would have if he'd left anything on his plate to poke at. The problem was, on the surface, he couldn't find a single thing to object to about her plan. Swapping services was just a way of life around here, after all. Hell, he hadn't had to pay to have his truck fixed in years, especially not since Darryl Andrews, the town mechanic, and his wife Faith starting having all those kids.

But…

But.

He'd lowered his head, mulling things over; Maddie dipped hers to peer up at him.

“I know what you're thinkin'.”

He jerked. “You do?”

“Uh-huh. You're worried about us being together in the house for too long. That I might start getting ideas.”

“No, it's not that—”

She half-laughed, half-sighed. He told himself she was sitting too far away for him to feel her breath on his face.

That the last thing he wanted was to feel her breath on his face.

She adjusted the baby in her arms, then cocked her head at him, which made her hair do that shifting, sifting thing it did. “Well, shoot, if I were in your shoes, I'd sure be nervous about the idea of having a young widow with three kids living in my house. What if they get too attached? I'd be thinking. What if she starts looking at me and seeing her next husband, a father for her kids? Well, that's not gonna happen. Trust me, after what I've been through? Marriage is the last thing on my mind. So you can rest easy on that score. Far as I'm concerned, this is as a strictly temporary solution.”

Their eyes locked for several seconds, Maddie's slender hand stroking her baby's head, over and over. It was everything Ryan could do to tell her to let out the breath she was holding.

He looked away, so he could think.

Then she said, probably because she felt she needed to get in one final argument, “All I want is a place to stay and a way to work off what I owe you, until I can save up to get a place of our own. I'm not looking for anything beyond that. Any more than you are.”

Ryan's gaze jerked up from the pie, which he'd been eyeing, considering a second piece. “How do you know what I am or am not looking for?”

The baby had fallen asleep. Maddie pulled herself together, then got up, not looking at him. “A woman just senses these things, Dr. Logan,” she said quietly, gently bouncing the baby as she stood there, the way mothers did. “So. Is it a deal or not?”

Some
deal,
Ryan thought, feeling a rueful grin tug at his
mouth. Wasn't as if he was going to throw the woman out, whether there was any way of her paying off her debt or not. That there was only made things worse. No, worse than worse. Impossible.

Yep. What he had here was one of those impossible situations, all right. The kind of impossible situation that made a man's stomach roil with apprehension. Never mind the line they'd both duly noted and sworn would never be crossed. Lines were all well and good, but that didn't mean a body wouldn't be tempted to cross that line. Especially a body as deprived as Ryan's. Having Maddie and her kids around…

Oh, hell—it wasn't his
privacy
he feared for.

Ryan leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over that roiling stomach, and said, “You feel up to going over some of that mess in the office tonight, or would you rather wait until tomorrow?”

In short order, she gasped, squealed, and leaned over and gave him a peck on his cheek.

His skin fairly burned where her lips had touched.

“Y
ou here
again?
Dammit, woman—I do not understand why you can't just leave me the hell alone!”

Since, word for word, this was how Jimmy's uncle had greeted her every time she'd come to visit him during the past two weeks, Maddie didn't even blink.

And each time, her reply was the same.

“Because,” she said over the drone of the TV as she walked right past where her uncle was sitting and over to his roommate, Charlie, “you are my only living relative and I care about you whether you want me to or not.” She smiled brightly for the old black man, his cast leg extended in front of him. “How are you today, Charlie?”

“Well, I reckon I'm doin' okay, Miz Maddie.” At the sight of the cookie tin in her hands, a pair of bushy gray brows lifted over yellowing eyes. “What's that you got there?”

“Since it's nearly Halloween, I thought you all might like some pumpkin cookies.” She opened the tin; Charlie wasted no time in reaching for one with a gnarled brown hand. Behind her, her uncle continued muttering rude things she'd just
as soon not hear, but whether they were aimed at her or Jenny Jones, she couldn't quite tell.

“Mmm-
mmm,
” Charlie said, “these are sure good. Got cinnamon in 'em, right? And some nutmeg, too.”

Maddie grinned. “They sure do.”

Charlie took another bite of cookie, careful to keep crumbs from dripping all over his bright yellow sweatshirt, then waved the remnant in Ned's direction. “Mr. Hard Head over there don't know what he's missin'. You know, I'm not sure but that these are even better than those lemon squares you brought last week.”

“Oh, for the love of—” Ned reached over, poked Maddie in the arm. “Just give me one of the damn things before the two of you drive me out of my skull.”

She turned, deliberately keeping the tin out of Ned's reach. Santa Claus's evil twin, is what he looked like, with his thick, white hair pulled back into a ponytail, his bushy beard. “Don't do me any favors, Uncle Ned. No skin off my nose whether you eat 'em or not.”

“I
said,
give me one!”

Maddie held out the tin, smothering a smile as Ned snatched a cookie like he was afraid she'd yank them away from him. Then, chewing, he squinted up at her. “What's different about you?”

“Got my hair cut. That new girl at Luralene's did it for me. You like it?”

Ned shrugged. “I s'pose it's okay. Lemme have another one of those pumpkin things.” He waved his hand at her. “That sweater new, too?”

Maddie's brows lifted. It would appear they were having an actual conversation. Of course, a commercial was on, so she didn't suppose she should get too excited. Still, it was more than she'd had in the beginning. A lot more. In fact, it wasn't until the third visit that he'd relaxed enough to talk to her at all. Most folks would probably call her nuts, trying her hand at taming the old pook after the way he'd treated her. But that's just the way she was. And all in all, she wasn't doing too badly, considering. Now, moving slowly so she
wouldn't spook him, she sat on the edge of the remaining free chair in the room.

“Got my first paycheck yesterday,” she said, grinning.

That got a frown. “Thought you were working for Doc Ryan for swaps?”

Her skin heated a little. “I was. But he said he figured two weeks was long enough to pay off my debt. It's not much, though, since the kids and I are getting free room and board. But it's somethin'.”
And I earned it,
she thought, satisfaction lapping through her.

Ned grunted. “And naturally, you went and spent it on new clothes.”

“Honestly, Uncle Ned—” She put the tin down on Ned's bed, then reached over to straighten out his collar. Only took five visits to get to this point, but by now it was clear he was not averse to her fussing over him. “It's just one sweater, and I got it at Wal-Mart at that. I'm saving at least half of every paycheck, so I can eventually get the kids and me a place of our own.”

She decided not to let on that she fully intended for Ned to come live with her, too, soon as that was possible. Anything to keep him from going back to that hovel of his, which she was sorely tempted to set fire to. Seemed a shame to spend all this time and energy recivilizing him, just to have it go down the tubes.

Yet another reason why she couldn't stay at the doctor's any longer than she absolutely had to.

Ned took a third cookie, then squinted at her. “You're one determined little gal, ain'tcha?”

“Yes, I am.”

She managed to keep the conversation going for another twenty minutes or so, but when she stood to leave, putting the cookies where both men could reach them without killing themselves, Ned looked almost…stricken.

“You goin' already?”

Maddie tried to school her expression, but this was the first time he'd seemed to care whether she came or went. “I've
got a lot to do before I have to pick up the kids. I'll be back in a day or two.”

He folded his hands together in his lap, the corners of his mouth turned down. “Don't hurry back on my account.”

“Don't worry, I won't,” she said back when all she really wanted to do was lean over and kiss him on the cheek. But that would be a mistake.

Too bad her early warning signals hadn't been working two weeks ago, she thought a few minutes later as she got into her car.

Maddie had told herself a million times it had just been a quick peck on the cheek, for pity's sake. Nothing for anybody to get riled up about, even if her impetuousness had come as much of a shock to Dr. Logan as it had to her. But the look on his face…well. She would just have to control her natural inclination for touching people, that's all.

She supposed learning to control one's impulses was part of what growing up was all about.

She also supposed she shouldn't be surprised that all she'd done was to trade one set of worries for another.

Oh, on the surface, things were going pretty well. Noah seemed to be doing okay in kindergarten, Katie Grace was getting on fine with the other kids in the church day care—and Maddie enjoyed her one morning a week shift there, as well—and Amy Rose was not only growing like a little weed, but almost sleeping through the night already. Maddie was getting caught up on all the doctor's paperwork and had just filed the last old insurance claim yesterday. And the best part of it was, on those mornings when the older two were out of the house and Amy Rose was down for her nap, she'd taken to helping out a little when the patients were in for their appointments, which helped her to get to know her new neighbors more quickly than she might have otherwise done. In other words, Haven was becoming just that for Maddie and her kids. Every day, the town felt a little more like home.

Even if Dr. Logan's house didn't.

Not that it should, after all. Since this was just temporary and all. And it wasn't like the doctor wasn't as good to her
as ever. In fact, those nights he made it home for supper, or got all the way through it without being called away, he always made sure to let her know how much he appreciated the meal. Which was a darn sight more than Jimmy did, especially at the end. Still, despite their agreement—and how well the arrangement seemed to be working out otherwise—she just couldn't shake the feeling that her being there still made him uncomfortable.

Hence, her worries.

When she got back to Haven, her spirits lifted at finding a parking place practically right in front of the Homeland. She'd truly gotten spoiled, being able to go to the supermarket without having to take everybody with her, although she practically had to referee between Ivy, Ruby and Luralene, who all wanted their turns watching Amy Rose whenever Maddie went over to Claremore to see Ned. Next time, though, she thought she might take Amy Rose with her. The nurses had all said it was okay with them, and Maddie figured it was about time to move into the next phase of Ned's taming, which was introducing him to her kids, one at a time. And not even grumpy old Ned McAllister would be able to resist a month-old, toothless baby with dark hair that stuck up every-which-way all over her head.

At least, that's what she was hoping.

Maddie grabbed a buggy and headed toward the produce section, still having a hard time believing she could basically buy anything she wanted. Dr. Logan gave her a healthy food allowance every week, although she was still careful to take advantage of all the sales, since she was not a person inclined to extravagance in any case.

The string beans being too scraggly to warrant more than a passing glance, she moved on.

“Hey…Maddie, isn't it?”

Startled, she looked around, a plastic bag filled with cucumbers dangling from her hand, only to jump a foot when a tall, beanpolelike man she only vaguely recognized suddenly appeared right in front of her buggy.

“I'm sorry, I don't—”

“Hootch Atkins. I was in to see Doc Logan t'other day.” She frowned, shaking her head. He held up a bandaged arm. “Fish hook.”

“Oh, right. Well.” Clearing her throat, she returned to her task, which was picking out the biggest head of lettuce she could find. Lord, the price'd gone up so much, she was tempted to go without. She spared Hootch a quick glance and an even quicker smile. “Arm healin' okay?”

“Yes, ma'am, just fine. Doc really knows what he's doing. 'Course, he's had lot of practice on me.”

The chosen head got dumped into the buggy. On to the tomatoes. “Oh?”

“Uh-huh. This makes the tenth hook he's taken out for me. Maybe the eleventh.”

Oh, Lordy.

“You're looking real pretty today, Miss Maddie.”

Oh,
Lordy.

For some reason, there seemed to be a lot of single men in this town. As there were a lot of single women. Unfortunately the average age of the women exceeded that of the men by a good thirty years. Which she supposed accounted for why a single mother with three young children looked downright good by comparison. Hootch Atkins, bless his heart—he was a sweet soul, but not exactly the type to stir wild, passionate longings in a girl—was the third man this week to try cozying up to her. While such attentions were flattering, to a degree, they were also getting tiresome.

“Um, thank you, Hootch—”

“Maddie! Hey!”

She caught a glimpse of Hootch's crestfallen—and more than slightly annoyed—expression as she turned around. Wearing an up-to-no-good grin, Cal Logan was about fifteen feet away and closing in fast. Once there, Dr. Logan's brother slipped the hand that wasn't hanging on to his grocery basket—which Maddie noted was filled with frozen dinners and packaged cold cuts—into his jeans' back pocket, allowed a tight smile for the other man.

“Hootch.”

The taller man nodded. “Cal. What're you doin' here?”

“Same as everybody else. Shoppin'.”

“Thought Ethel did that for you?”

“Went to visit her daughter in Kansas City for the week. So I'm on my own.”

The two men stood there, staring at each other, while Maddie wished they'd just both go away so she could get on with what she had to do.

“Well.” Deliberately she wheeled the buggy between them, headed for the milk section. “Nice seeing both of you.”

Hootch took the hint, apparently, said his goodbyes, and left. Cal didn't.

“You gotta watch out for that guy,” Cal said, trotting a little to keep up with her. “He tries to hit on everything in a skirt.”

“I'm wearing pants today.”

“I noticed. Nice sweater, by the way. And I like the hair, too.”

Maddie stopped the buggy dead, then looked up into Cal's grinning face. Now here
was
a man to stir wild, passionate longings in a girl. Just not this one. “But
you
wouldn't be comin' on to me, would you?”

“Me? Hell, no.” But he was wearing that goofy smile.

On a sigh that was equal parts amusement and exasperation, she continued on to the milk, heaving the first gallon of four up into the buggy. Naturally Cal took over—men just did that around here, she'd finally gotten used to it—still grinning like a fool. She'd run into Ryan's baby brother a couple of times in the past two weeks, and he was always like this. Just an overgrown puppy, is what she'd decided. A little overenthusiastic, but basically harmless.

“How're the kids doing?” Cal asked.

“What? Oh, fine.” Maddie made a big show out of dragging out her list, then heading for the rice and beans aisle. She'd done a ham the other night; the leftovers would make a real good ham-and-bean crockpot. Then she had to pick up a few things for Mildred Rafferty—she'd taken over doing the grocery delivery for the old woman, who now looked
forward to seeing Maddie and the kids every Tuesday afternoon. She glanced over, decided Cal really was like a great big dog. One you wished would just go on back home. “Is there something you want, Cal?”

“Now, Maddie, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to give me the brush off.”

“And you would be right.” She tossed a bag of navy beans into the cart. “Your brother warned me about you, you know.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Uh-huh. And from what he'd said, Hootch Atkins is an amateur compared to you.”

Cal's grin grew even more smug. “Hey, you'll get no arguments from me on that score. But actually, I was thinking…what about bringing the kids out to the farm on Saturday? Think they might like that?”

“They probably would. I wouldn't.”

“Oh, come on. I had a mare foal a couple weeks ago. And maybe the kids'd like to pick out a few pumpkins from our patch.”

“Uh-huh. And what're you trying to pick out?”

He laughed. “My intentions are completely honorable, Maddie,” he said gently. “I swear.”