Authors: Sinden West
Love
must have turned my mother’s brain to mush. She took Todd’s clear signs of
being uncomfortable around me to be my fault; which I guess they were, in a
way.
“Be
nicer to him,” she’d hiss in my ear and smack my arm when she thought he wasn’t
looking.
“I
am!” I’d reply in a pissed off tone. If only she knew just
how
nice I
had been to him. Todd only spoke to me if I spoke to him first and even then he
couldn’t meet my eyes. He sat at our table having breakfast while my mother
flirted and smiled. Even though she wasn’t really a morning person, she never
dropped the act around men. She never let them know that she had PMS or cramps,
or that her cat had died.
“Men
don’t want to know that kind of thing. They want perfection otherwise it’s too
hard to keep them under your spell. It’s best that they keep us on pedestals.
Always play the game, honey.” Other mothers gave their daughters advice like
always use a condom and hand wash your bras. But not mine, she’d created a career
out of men. All that effort she put into studying them, manipulation and
scamming, if she’d put that effort into something else, she could have had a
real career. Now she was stuck as an assistant to some fat cretin at a used car
dealership. Although, there was no doubt in my mind that she would twist
everything to work in her favor. She was honest about her feelings for Todd
though. She really loved him, even though he had little money or charm. I still
felt bad about seducing him.
I
wasn’t like my mother though. I was honest. I had never played the seductive
games with Finn, and I had no intention of changing my ways. It had been a
week since the funeral, and we were making up via text slowly. He had sworn to
me a thousand times that he hadn’t had sex with Melody; I wasn’t sure that I
believed him though.
I
heard his horn beep outside my house. “That’s my ride.” I pushed my chair away
from the table. My mother smiled, happy that I was leaving for the day and
leaving them in peace.
Todd
risked a quick look at me. “Have a good day.” This was progress.
Finn
grinned at me as I climbed in his truck. “I can’t believe you’re really coming
hiking with me.”
“You’re
not going to push me over the edge are you?”
He
smiled at me, but then it clicked with him at the same time that it clicked
with me about what I’d said. Our faces both dropped, and we sat in silence for
a minute.
“I
guess it’s too soon for going over the edge of cliffs jokes,” he said quietly.
I
looked away so he couldn’t see the tears shining in my eyes.
“Hey,”
he said softly, wiping a tear away on my cheek. “Don’t cry.”
I
blinked furiously. “Let’s get going.”
He
drove up the winding path up the mountain. It always gave me the shits going up
this road; just one wrong move and your car could easily plummet over the edge.
I gripped my seat belt for extra protection, while Finn just laughed at me.
There were a few other cars parked at the beginning of the trail. Finn pulled
his truck to a stop and grabbed a backpack. “C’mon, it’s beautiful up here. You
girls love this kind of scenery shit.”
I
grabbed my own bag and followed him. We walked in silence for most of the way,
and when we reached the top, I saw that he was right; the view was breath-taking.
I felt so small in comparison to the expansive mountains and ocean surrounding
me.
“You
like?” Finn came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his
head on my shoulder.
“I
like.” I turned away from the view and kissed him gently. When we pulled away,
he gave me a small smile.
“Are
we all good now?” The look on his face was confident. He knew the answer.
I
kissed him again in reply.
We
sat and ate our lunch overlooking the vista.
“You
want to come over to my house tonight? My Mom’s going out.”
I
shook my head. “I said I’d go to this séance thing at Merida’s house.”
“Creepy.”
I
shrugged. “It’s stupid. But Merida’s cousin is supposed to be psychic and I…I
just want to know what happened to them.”
He
didn’t make any stupid Finn-like comments. Instead he grabbed my hand and
squeezed it in comfort. “I hope you find out.” We stayed like that for ages.
Not talking, just holding hands.
It
was Merida’s idea to have a séance. I’d seen enough bad horror movies to know
that this was not a good idea. But curiosity and a thirst to know overcame me.
On her kitchen table, a makeshift Ouija board had been assembled from scrabble
pieces and an upturned glass. Candles were placed around the room for effect,
and that effect was creepiness. I half expected Merida’s cousin, Amanda, to be
dressed in gold earrings and gypsy velvet. I found myself slightly disappointed
that she was just wearing a sweater and jeans and looking like any ordinary
girl. I was more disappointed by the other girls in attendance because Melody
was one of them.
She
didn’t meet my eyes, which made me suspect that Finn was lying to me. She also
had a glass of cheap wine in her hand that she was guzzling like she was
nervous. The other girl, Corinne, kept topping up her glass, already drunk
herself. Corinne worked with me at the diner, and we got on okay. However, she
was firmly Team Melody all the way and not to be trusted.
Amanda
was a few years older than us, and I found her instantly annoying. She was
trying to act like she was all mysterious and superior to us, but I knew that
the reality was that she was just another struggling single mother who’d got
knocked up by some loser. And now she was looking for meaning in life and
yearned to be special. But she was a fool; there was nothing more than this.
“Let’s
get this thing started,” Merida announced, rubbing her hands together in a
nervous gesture. I felt slight anticipation as well at what we were about to
attempt, even though I wasn’t really a believer. We all took a seat at the
wooden table as Amanda turned off the lights so we were lit only by flickering
candles. Corinne giggled nervously and somehow managed to spill her wine.
“Fuck!”
Melody pushed her chair back, knocking it over in an attempt to avoid the wine
travelling toward her lap.
“Sorry,”
Corinne said, giggling.
Merida
threw a cloth at Melody and a cloth at Corinne.
“Come
on you guys! Take this seriously. Otherwise it won’t work.” Amanda tapped her
foot under the table.
“Okay,
okay. Sorry,” said Corinne, who didn’t sound sorry at all as she mopped at the
table. “Right, I’m ready.” She threw the cloth onto the kitchen bench and sat
back down. Melody still looked pissed off, but she sat back down again as well.
The
lights were flicked off once more. We all rested a finger on the glass as
Amanda began to speak.
“Spirits,
we implore you. We need to speak with Mara and Torrance, who recently passed
from this world.”
Silence.
And then she tried again.
“Mara
and Torrance, are you there?”
I
shivered involuntarily.
“Please
speak to us. Are you there?”
And
the glass moved. Short, shaky movements made it swing to the “YES” spelled out
in scrabble pieces. I heard a sharp intake of breath that mirrored how I felt,
but I kept it in, not sure that this was legit.
“Are
you Mara or Torrance?” Amanda’s voice was calm.
And
once again the glass moved. “NO”. I shivered, and I felt Merida’s nervousness
as she clutched my hand tighter. The glass started to move again.
“W”
Amanda said. “ARNING. Warning? For who?”
The
glass moved again. “P” “A” “I” Paige? Do you mean Paige?”
The
glass swung to “Yes” and then it spelled out “COMING FOR YOU”.
Merida
and I dropped our hands at the same time, both jumping to our feet. She darted
to the light switch and soon the room was flooded with light but it didn’t make
me feel any better.
“You
ruined it!” Amanda was pissed.
“Ruined?
What the fuck was that?” I spat at her, my fear turning into anger instead.
“Don’t
get mad at me,” she sniffed. “I can’t help what comes through.”
“Really?
You’re telling me that was real?” I said to her in disbelief.
“Of
course it’s real,” she snapped back. “I don’t lie about this kind of stuff.”
“Calm
down, Paige. You’ll give yourself an aneurysm,” Melody sneered. I turned to
face her.
“It
was you, wasn’t it? You’re doing this to freak me out?”
“Yeah
right, like I could move the glass by myself.” She stared straight back at me
with narrowed eyes.
“Then
Corinne helped you,” I shot back.
“Hey!
Don’t go accusing me of stuff. I wouldn’t do that. It’s mean.” Corinne looked
affronted. “Honestly, I wouldn’t.”
My
eyes switched back to Melody. “This is your way of getting back at me about
Finn, isn’t it? You can’t have him so you–“
“
I’ve
already had him.”
Melody’s
words stopped me short, and she got to her feet looking smug. “I’ve already
been screwing him behind your back, so there.” She gave a short laugh. “You’re
not the only pretty girl at school, Paige, and–“
My
punch knocked her down. Her mouth opened in surprise as she clutched her eye.
“You fucking psycho bitch!”
I
was breathing hard and flicked my eyes around the rest of the group. They all
stared at me warily, mouths open.
“I
have to go,” I choked out, before spinning on my heel and making my way blindly
to the door. I heard my name called behind me by Merida, but I waved her away.
Once outside, I ran home with the adrenalin rushing through me so hard that I barely
remembered how I got there.
When
I got inside, I found my mother waiting inside for me, her face white and lips
thin. I shouldn’t have been surprised when she slapped me hard.
My
head bounced against the wall, and I tasted blood. I nearly smiled at the irony
of the situation. That hand that slapped me was bundled into a fist and kept
close to her body like she was restraining herself from doing it again. The
other held a cigarette; she only smoked when she was really pissed off.
“You
stupid little slut. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Her tone was ice
cold, and I shivered.
“You
know?” My voice was small as I cowered against the wall. But then I remembered
myself and raised my body to stand up straight and stare at her without fear.
“Of
course I knew. You think someone like Todd could keep a secret that big from
me.” She shook her head at me. “You are so
ungrateful
,” she said through
clenched teeth. “Why did you do it?”
I
couldn’t answer her because I didn’t really know. To one up her perhaps?
Because I could? Because years of pent up anger finally exploded in me?
I
shrugged, and she gave a small, humorless laugh before slapping me hard again.
I resisted the urge to hold my face to ease the stinging. I did wipe my lip,
blood coming away on my hand. The blood made me angry.
“What’s
the big deal? I’ve slept with your boyfriends before.” My voice sounded casual,
but my heart was beating violently inside my chest.
“You
fucking idiot. I’ve worked so hard to keep us surviving for all these years,
and this is how you repay me?” Her teeth were bared, and I steeled myself.
“I
worked too,
Mom.
The things you made me do–“
The
third slap felt like a truck slamming into my cheek. I balled my hands into
fists and hugged them to my body to stop from hitting her back. “You’re
scared,” I sneered. “You’re getting old, and you’re scared that no one else
will want you soon. That’s why you think you’re in love with him, you
hag
.”
I
expected to be hit again, but she didn’t. Not physically at least.
“You’re
on your own. You’re eighteen now, that’s old enough. You can stay the night,
but I want you out first thing in the morning.” Her words cut me. I watched her
with wide eyes as she started to walk back down to her bedroom.
“Are
you serious? You’re kicking me out? What about Todd? Are you getting rid of him
as well?” I asked her retreating figure.
She
said nothing as she disappeared into her bedroom where, no doubt, he was
waiting. I leaned against the wall, staring at that closed door. She’d always
choose men over me.
In
my room, I shoved clothes into my sports bag haphazardly as my anger spurred me
on. I didn’t have anything sentimental, I‘d never really gone in for that kind
of thing, so clothes and school books were it. I had work in the morning, so
I’d go there and figure everything out. Finally, I went to bed with my cheek
throbbing and misery keeping me awake. I barely slept, and in the morning I
showered and left, just like she wanted. I didn’t know if she’d relent and let
me back in the house, but I guessed she would eventually and until then I would
just stay out of her way to let her calm down.
Merida’s
eyes widened when I turned up to work with a puffy lip and bruised cheek. “What
happened?” She followed me as I stashed my bag in the back office and grabbed
an apron.
I
shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I busied myself tying my apron. Her
eyes still showed concern but she changed the subject.
“I
wanted to make sure you were okay after the séance? That was pretty freaky. I
was scared all night.”
I’d
forgotten about the séance; my fear overshadowed by the events afterward.
“It
was just Melody being a bitch.”
“Listen,
Paige,” Corinne had joined us, putting her apron on. “Melody says she didn’t do
it, and I believe her, okay?” She went to move past us, but stopped and turned.
“I’m really sorry about Finn. I want you to know that.”
I
nodded, oddly touched. Then our boss yelled at us to get to work because the
breakfast rush had arrived, and we all went to our different sections. The
morning was busy, and I didn’t get a chance to sit down until it was nearly
lunchtime. I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection. My face didn’t
seem to look as bad as it had looked first thing in the morning. I splashed
some cold water on my face and went back to work. Corinne intercepted me.
“Omigod,
there is a total hottie sitting in your section,” she said excitedly. “Who
needs Finn?” I gave her a small smile and moved out to serve my customer. He
was sitting alone at a booth studying the menu. His eyes flicked up to me as I
neared. Corinne was right; he was smoking hot. He must have been late twenties
with shaggy black hair that swept over his forehead and was longish at the
back. His eyes were dark as well, and framed by inky black lashes that I would kill
for. His skin was very tan; his blood must have been a mixture of something exotic.
And his face was angular; sharp bone structure with high cheekbones. Seriously,
this guy was so pretty that he should’ve been a girl.
He
didn’t smile at me, just watched me approach. There was something about him
that made me think of a wolf, or some other kind of predatory animal. I didn’t
like the way he was looking at me, so much so that I nearly turned back to the
counter and told Corinne she could take his table. But I didn’t, I just
approached with my notepad and pencil in hand.
“What
can I get you?” I stared at my notepad; pen poised.
“What’s
your name?” His voice was smooth. My eyes darted up to meet his wolf-like ones.
“Paige.”
It wasn’t unusual to be asked my name, sometimes customers like to get friendly
which was okay because it usually meant that they tipped better. But I didn’t
want this guy to be a regular; he was unsettling me with how he was looking at
me. It wasn’t desire because I knew what that was. This guy seemed almost
hostile.
“Paige,”
he repeated. “I’ll have a coffee.”
“Is
that all?”
“For
now,
Paige
.” I turned quickly and headed back to get his order. I felt
like I could finally breathe again when I went to work behind the coffee
machine.
“You’re
so lucky. What’s he like? Does he have a sexy voice?” Corinne pumped me.
“He’s
arrogant as fuck. You can take him his order if you want.”
She
beamed, eagerly taking the coffee once it was ready. I watched as she
approached him. My mouth dropped open when his face broke into a friendly smile,
and I could tell he was thanking her. And I didn’t get so much as a please. She
was glowing as she walked back.
“He’s
so
hot,
and friendly. I don’t know why you’d think he was arrogant.”
I
scowled at her and got on with my work.
In
a rare calm moment, I confessed to Merida that I’d been kicked out, but not
why.
“You
want to stay at my place tonight?” she offered. “My sister’s away so I’ve got
my room to myself.”
“Actually,
I was thinking about crashing at Finn’s for a while.”
Merida
arched an eyebrow. “Really? After him and Melody?”
“I
haven’t told him that I know yet, and let’s face it, his mom is such a drunk
she doesn’t know who’s coming or going. It’ll just be easier, plus I know that
it would make Melody sick to her stomach if she knew that I was staying there.”
A
smile slid across Merida’s face. “You are so devious.”
“I
know,” I said smugly
I
was wiping a table when the hot, arrogant guy walked past me. “See you later,
Rachel.”
My
head snapped up.
“Paige,
my name’s Paige,” I blurted out. He stood in front of me, looking down at me
with a small nasty smile on his face.
“Paige
is a good girl’s name. Rachel is more of a whore’s name. It suits you better. I’ll
be seeing you, Rachel.” And then he casually walked out the door, leaving me
staring after him with my mouth open in shock. I looked around to see if anyone
had heard what he’d said, but no one was paying attention.
“Paige,”
my boss called. “Can you stay later tonight? Anne called in sick.”
It
was a moment before I could speak. “Sure,” I managed, still shocked. I manage
to calm myself and texted Finn to ask if I could crash at his place. He replied
quickly back with a yes, but there was no offer to pick me up. Still, it was a
short walk to his house.
At
ten o’clock, I finally left work. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and walked
out into the night. It was quiet now, and very few cars were around. I wasn’t
scared though, this was a small town and no really bad things happened. It was
mainly juveniles breaking into cars and empty houses. I headed down the
alleyway that would make the walk to Finn’s house just five minutes, versus
twenty if I went the normal, well lit way. I stared up at the sky; somewhere
cats fought and a couple were having an argument, I tried to tune them out as I
took in the night sky. It was all so pretty, with twinkling stars and a
stunningly bright moon.
But
then everything went black, just like that.