Authors: K.A. Merikan
“Oh,” was all Joshua said for a long moment and the silence became almost unbearable before he spoke again in a tightened voice, eyes suddenly fixed on the wooden floor. “I wish you luck then...”
Ira moved closer to the boy and patted his head. “Still like you,” he said, as if attempting to comfort Joshua.
James gave them both a shy look, feeling like an intruder in their connection. He saw Ira pulling his young friend’s head close and kissing its top. “It’ll be all right,” he sighed, with a long face, “I’m not movin’ to the moon, you know.”
Joshua bit his lips. “It’s not your problem. I suppose I knew it was coming one day...” he said, but his disappointment was obvious. He didn’t pull away either.
Clearly frustrated by a situation he couldn’t handle well enough, Ira stroked the angelic face with his hand as he shot James a quick glance of assurance. “You kinda grew on me, Josh.”
“Apparently not enough,” the boy said, his voice tight and bitter. “Don’t worry Ira. I grow on a lot of people.”
“Would you stop!?” spat Ira in an angry voice, his patience gone and all of a sudden the boy broke down into tears. He turned his face away from Ira, his body slumping in defeat.
James’ eyes widened and he felt out of place as ever, the hair on the back of his neck standing up in an instant. Joshua’s sob had such a heart wrenching tone to it, the sound of dying hope. Ira blinked, apparently unable to think about anything to say or do. He spread his arms, looking down at Joshua, confusion clear on his face.
“I’m sorry!” the boy said, sobbing. “I think I better go!” He stood up so quickly he almost made the chair fall over.
“No!” said James all of a sudden. “Maybe I should go... and let the two of you talk about whatever’s happening here?” he added in panic.
“Sit down! Both of you!” Ira suddenly banged the table with his fist as he watched in frustration.
James looked away, not moving as yet and Joshua sat down like an obedient puppy, covering his face in a desperate attempt to stop crying. His curly hair obscured almost all of his face as he looked down at his shoes.
“Bloody ‘ell!” yelled Ira, slightly pale as he shook his head and once again hit the table accompanied by a clatter of plates. “Not gonna leave you out like some dog, Josh!”
“No?” whimpered the boy, looking up at him with big brown eyes while James swallowed with relief. He didn’t know Joshua but because Ira did, he would find leaving a boy with nowhere to live quite distasteful. Even though seeing Ira choose him over the little angel gave him a sense of guilty pleasure. Still, he didn’t want the boy to cry!
“No... you think me such a man?” the host asked.
“I’m not sure... I just suppose a man like you can have someone... like... you know, like Mr Lord here,” the boy said, biting on his lip, a dark blush staining his cheekbones.
“‘Mr Lord’ is more my age, boy,” explained Ira, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly. “Ya need somethin’ else.”
“I don’t know...” Joshua said, slouching in the chair with a tremble.
Ira exhaled slowly, eyeing him in silence for a long moment, before speaking again: “You ‘ave everythin’ except money and a good job. What d’ya wanna be? Solicitor? Preacher? Writer?”
James smiled a bit, seeing how much patience Ira had.
“I think I would like to... write,” Joshua answered after a few seconds, slowly looking up. “I want others to know about things that matter,” he swallowed. “I have seen a lot of bad things happen. The public deserves to know...”
Ira nodded as he listened to the boy with wariness. “Ya need school,” he concluded, gesturing towards the window.
“No proper school would take me, even if I could afford it...” Joshua shook his head in defeat and James felt a sudden twinge of charitability. He could help this boy! That would make his conscience feel a lot better.
“I ‘ave gold.” Ira placed his hand on Joshua’s arm and watched him tentatively. “Can pay for it.”
“And I have connections in the right places!” said James with a sudden spree of enthusiasm. Ira’s eyes met his and the other man gave him a heart-warming smile.
“Would you like that, boy?” he asked softly, once again lowering his gaze at Joshua, whose eyes alternated between them in disbelief.
“You would do that for me?”, he asked, his eyes tearing up again. He looked truly surprised by their generosity and James knew this could be a good investment.
Ira smiled at Joshua, delicately running his fingers through his hair. “If you tell me ‘bout your successes at school.”
“I would try hard!” He looked at both James and Ira with obvious agitation. “I’ll do my best if you give me this chance!” he snivelled.
“Good.” The host sighed, straightening his back. “Will you meet me here tomorrow? Same time?”
“I will! I won’t fail you!” Joshua assured his older friend once again, with a look of pure determination on his face.
Ira swallowed, looking back at him. “Wanna move in here till we find somethin’?” he finally asked. James could see there was a tension in his arms.
“I could?!” Joshua started swinging in his chair, more excited than ever.
Ira’s face softened and he laughed while shaking his head. “Unless you still wanna share a bed with three other boys.”
“No! I mean... If I could live here for a bit, it would be so helpful...” He trailed off, biting his full lips.
James smiled discretely, feeling at ease with Ira’s actions. He wouldn’t be very comfortable seeing him to be a brute in regular interactions. They didn’t know each other long, but he already knew that there was a soft side to him. Both of their nights together made him feel truly special. It was peculiar to see him treat his former lover like a younger brother though.
“So bring your stuff ‘ere,” he told Joshua, rustling his curly hair playfully. “I’m gonna come ‘ere tomorrow or the day after.”
James’ heart started beating a little faster at the thought that Ira would be spending this night with him again. The only thing was, he had no idea how to organize it yet. He believed though that things would eventually fall into place.
The young boy nodded with enthusiasm. “I will not forget this!” he promised.
“I told you you’re important, Josh,” the man laughed, patting his arm. “Go on, the place is yours for now.”
Joshua nodded with a focused gaze and after a moment of hesitation leaned in to give Ira’s cheek a peck. He then stood up and rushed to the door. “I’ll be back with my things soon!”
“Don’t forget your key!” Ira reminded him and smiled at James, stroking his bald head with content.
After Joshua left, slamming the door behind him, James moved closer to the other man, standing up from his chair. “Who would have thought...” he smiled at him softly.
The other man looked at him from beneath his palm and sneered. “Wha’?” There was a pleased playfulness in his eyes.
James leaned in and wrapped his arms around Ira’s neck. “What is it with you and that boy actually, huh?” He nuzzled the older man's cheek.
“Dunno what you mean!” laughed Ira, instantly slipping his arm over the small of James’ back. As they looked at each other from up close his smile broadened even more.
“He is...” James cleared his throat, “was your lover, right?” he demanded, trying to be serious, but having Ira around made him so happy, all he wanted to do was grin.
“Well...” The older man leaned even closer, nuzzling the tip of the other man’s nose. “Figured you'd be jealous.”
James swallowed, giving him a nervous look. “I didn’t have anyone else...” he felt the need to make that clear once again.
“And you want me to break it up with ‘im, yes?” asked Ira, slowly tracing those luscious lips with two rough fingers. For some reason, when it was just the two of them, it was easy to forget that they needed to hide their affections from other people.
“Yes!” James said immediately in a whiny tone. “How can you even ask...?” It hurt him to even think that Ira would suggest something else.
“Shh,” The other man leaned closer, silencing him with a gentle kiss. “Just did ‘case you didn’t notice.”
“But it is as if you considered a different option,” James whispered into his lips, drunk on the intimate atmosphere. He heard his companion exhale slowly, his hand reaching to James’ slim fingers. He gently brought the hand to his mouth.
“People ‘ave different needs,” he said in a soothing voice, brushing his lips over the back of his palm.
“I need you,” said James with confidence, looking into his eyes with determination. “And I will turn my world upside down for you if needed.” He just knew he wanted this man in his life! That as long as he had him close, he wouldn’t feel this strange emptiness ever again.
Ira’s eyes shot up, studying him for the longest moment. The men were so close that their noses almost touched, which allowed James to see every twitch on his companion’s face. For some reason, he saw doubt. Before he gathered the courage to confront him about it, Ira shook his head with a sigh.
“You flatter me, but...”
James’ heart sank at those words and his gaze fell downward. He had made a fool of himself! Apparently a long-term arrangement wasn’t what Ira was looking for. Why would he ask about living with him then!? James clenched his fists.
“Listen,” he heard as Ira gathered him in his arms, their thighs touching. “You ‘ave no experience, you never knew other men. Not so hasty, boy,” the older man said in a gentle voice.
“But it is you who proposed moving in...” James looked at him, absolutely lost in his own feelings.
“‘Cause I want it!” answered Ira with a sigh. “Just... try not riskin’ more than you can.”
“Oh Ira...” whispered James with a dreamy smile, touching the man’s cheeks. “It is too late. I am about to move in with a Jewish man I want to make love to every night. I am lost.”
Ira blinked, but then let out a sudden laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Stop it... doesn’t change anything. Does it?” he smiled. “Love the ‘every night’ part though.”
“I would hope so...” James kissed his lips gently and felt hot air being blown against his mouth.
“Thinkin’ ‘bout your hot body makes me ache!” whispered the other man, looking straight into his eyes.
“Any preference about your room?” James finally pulled away, though it wasn’t easy.
Ira laughed, standing up and gazing at his new lover. “Close to yours and big!” he said.
“It shall be done,” said James officially and stood up, getting his clothes in order.
“Will I get a four-poster bed?” Ira poked his nose, slightly surprised.
“Getting greedy, are we?” James laughed, more satisfied than ever.
Ira grabbed him from behind, instantly lifting James with a snort. “Just wanna make sure you’re comfy when I’m fuckin’ ya.”
The younger man exhaled deeply, in surprise, grabbing his partner’s muscular arms with laughter. “I believe your bed will be very comfortable!”
“Already love my new life!” commented the other man, putting him back on the ground again and slapping his butt.
James smiled with a flush and a short moment later, after sorting some things they needed to take, left Ira’s cosy home. James couldn’t believe they were actually doing it! He felt like walking on air.
They strolled along the riverbank, watching the dark, troubled water from above. For some reason he felt much safer and more confident when he was with Ira. No one was bothering them and every now and then, a passerby gave his companion a respectful nod.
“The Johner’s manifestation is in the city center today. I should probably at least get a glimpse, so I know what I’m talking about when I see the other lords tomorrow. Do you mind if we go see it before going to my house?” James asked, as they walked into a district occupied by the more affluent working class.
Ira snorted, shaking his head. He looked very confident and handsome in his leather morning coat and firm boots. Instead of a mask, he wrapped his face with a gray shawl that uncovered only his goggles. A flat, dark-gray cap completed the look. “Fuckin’ nutjobs!”
“I know. I have to keep on top of it all,” sighed James. He also thought that this crazy cult was getting really out of hand.
“Ya know Lord Barnett?” asked Ira with a shrug as they went into a broader, cobbled street. There were medium-sized, humble shops on both sides, though the lack of traffic made it seem provincial. A wooden wagon tugged by an old man in gray-ish clothes was the only vehicle trailing along the road among numerous passer-bys, most of them in neat but modest garb.
“Not very well. But he’s a strange man. Always dark and serious. He even seemed to support some of the less radical Johner agendas.” James shook his head.
“So I’ve heard.” Ira looked into the cloudy sky with an unsatisfied expression on his face. “People like ‘im. They should die,” he said in a serious voice.
James blinked, throwing him a look of shock. “Die? Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not one of them. He just doesn’t know any better!”
“He’s supporting them,” answered Ira, directing his calm gaze at James. “Case somethin’ happens, he’d be responsible too.”
“That isn’t how it works,” sighed James. He almost reached out to caress Ira’s back, but held back quickly, suddenly remembering they weren’t alone anymore. “He didn’t officially proclaim his support.”