“Next,” said Hann.
Suzie walked forward. Frank handed her the blade.
“You’ll be fine,” he whispered. “Don’t over think. Hands apart.”
Suzie grasped the long handle. Her right hand slipped on her own sweat. The beginner’s blade was light, but the weight was deceptive. She sensed the familiar tingle as the blade touched the air.
A blade with only a tiny fraction of mortamant imbued in its metal, yet a blade quivering with life. A blade that understood her strengths and fears. A blade similar to the blade that had bit into her thigh on the boskery field. The blade would determine if she passed or failed.
She’d practiced over the weekend, even when the class was closed. Billy had worked with her. She’d never succeeded. She’d never created a green light.
She raised her arms and adjusted her grip on the handle. She swung down. The blade sliced the air. The tingle on the handle intensified and she held her breath. The metal pushed its way downward, guiding but still resisting her. The smug metal that realized she’d fail.
The scythe finished its arc. No light emerged.
“What I’d expect from a girl,” said Hann. “Next.”
“I’m not the only one who failed,” she said. “You don’t have to be sexist.”
Hann looked up, surprised. Suzie was the only Death who’d spoken back to him. The class stared at her.
“Give the blade to Nicholas,” said Hann.
“Just because I’m a girl, doesn’t mean you have to treat me differently.”
“That is more than enough. I will talk to you after class, Ms. Sarnio. Now give the blade to Nicholas.”
Suzie handed over the scythe. She’d probably gone too far, but so what? She was tired of second-class treatment. She hadn’t asked to be in this world, and she was doing her best.
Class progressed in silence. Everyone after her passed.
“You were right,” whispered Frank when the class ended. “If he tries to give you grief, stay strong.”
Suzie walked to Hann’s desk at the front of the room. The senior Death waited for the rest of the class to leave before frowning at Suzie.
“Do you have anything to say?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“I don’t like being challenged in class,” he said. Suzie met his eyes, refusing to look away or apologize. Hann sighed.
“I’m sure the class has been difficult,” he said after a moment. “Your partners, Frank and Billy, are they helping you?”
“They’re helping me a lot.”
“But they are your friends, aren’t they?” asked Hann. “Perhaps they’ve been too soft on you. Maybe you’d do better working in another group.”
“Sir,” she said. “I don’t want to work with another group. Please.”
“Are you sorry for what you said in class?”
She hesitated. “No,” she said.
He smiled. “I thought not. I will let you continue with your friends, provided you pass the next test, which will be in a month.”
“Sir?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Suzie.”
“I’ll do better next time,” she said.
“I’m sure you will.”
She walked away, puzzled. Glancing back, she saw Hann sigh as he closed the door behind her.
Why had Hann forgiven her? It was another mystery to unravel. Didn’t she have enough? She was done for the day, but didn’t head for Eagle Two. She needed more time to figure things out. She wanted to go to her secret library, but wasn’t sure she was ready yet. The last time had been stressful, and too many questions still lingered.
She stumbled down the hall without looking, turning into one of the few bathrooms assigned to her. She walked past the urinals and tripped over a string. She looked down, smelling something strange. A burning smell hovered in the air.
One of the stalls exploded in front of her, throwing pieces of plaster across the floor. Water spread out from the broken toilet, covering her feet. She frowned and left.
“One of the toilets exploded,” she told a ’Mental with long pink hair.
“I’ll fix it,” he said in a high voice.
“Thank you,” said Suzie. She looked at the ’Mental. Something about him was odd. His features were fair.
“Excuse me,” she asked.
The pink-haired ’Mental turned.
“I’m sorry to ask, but—”
“Yes?”
“Are you female?”
“No,” he said. “It’s the pink hair, I get asked sometimes, but they don’t let girls inside the College.”
“Other than me, you mean?”
“Yes, miss. I’m sorry, let me fix the toilet. You probably want to change.” He nodded at her pants, which were soaked from the calf down.
“Yes, of course,” she said. She nodded as he left.
No females worked in the College. She remembered learning about female ’Mentals. Where were they? Another mystery. Her head hurt.
East Tower loomed on the far side of campus; a pair of windows near the top glowed like eyes looking down the face of a dark, gnarled giant. She passed the Examination Room, the cube of perfect black: unlit and unwelcoming amid the stone mounds of the College. Every Death here older than the first years had entered the room and failed. What sort of test awaited her? Another mystery. She kept walking.
Her own world seemed far away. Like a different life. Like a dream.
No, this wasn’t a dream, and she
would
get home.
Sindril, the secret library, even the ’Mentals didn’t matter. In the end, what truly mattered was passing the test and getting home.
“You
will
get home.”
Suzie looked around in a panic but no one was around. The wall beneath her heated up and suddenly the sky above melted into crimson light.
Fire. She was on fire.
He’s
found
me
.
The
albino
.
Frank
didn’t
deal
with
him
at
all
.
Pieces of the burning sky fell around her, as the world collapsed. Two green eyes appeared, staring at her.
“No, Suzie. I’m not going to hurt you.”
The words burned into her mind, searing her flesh. She cried out and fell. She smashed into the ground hard, and the fire vanished. It was evening, the sky was dark overhead. She reached her hands to the wall behind her.
“Stay strong,” a voice whispered. Another faint flash of green eyes emerged, but they disappeared.
“Wait,” she said aloud. “Who are you?”
No response.
Great. Another mystery.
Suzie stood up and headed home to Eagle Two. She wouldn’t share this one with the others. Like the library, this would be a secret.
* * * *
“What happened with Hann?” asked Frank. He and Billy were waiting for her in the kitchen. Jason was out, probably at the Hall.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “He asked me to apologize, said he doesn’t like to be challenged.”
“Okay,” said Billy, “you apologized.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“What? What do you mean?” asked Billy.
“I didn’t apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t going to lie and say I was sorry. If he looked bad, he made himself look bad, like Frenchie at try-outs.”
“But Hann’s a teacher,” said Billy.
“No, she’s right,” said Frank. “He was sexist, and she called him out. Good for you.”
“What happened when you didn’t apologize?” asked Billy.
“That was the weird thing. He let me go. He threatened to take me off of your group, but he didn’t.”
“Strange,” said Frank. “I wonder why he backed down.”
“He’s not the only sexist,” she said. “Someone blew up a toilet in one of my bathrooms.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I headed to the bathroom after dealing with Hann, tripped on a string, and boom. I soaked my feet, but walked it off.”
“Is that why it took you this long to get back?” asked Billy.
“Yeah.” She didn’t mention the vision. She seemed to keep having them, and always with sensations of fire. They didn’t believe her about Sindril, why should they believe her about anything?
“What’d you do about it?” asked Frank.
“I told a ’Mental. I learned there are female ’Mentals, but they’re not allowed on campus.”
“Deaths are afraid of girls,” said Frank. “Of course they wouldn’t let female ’Mentals in.”
“No one here is afraid of me.”
“Oh no?” asked Frank. “Why do they keep teasing you? Why did they blow up a toilet? Why’d Frenchie attack you at try-outs? Or Luc with the fearmonger? Why did Hann snap at you during the test? They’re all afraid of you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “They hate me because I’m different.”
“Yeah, that’s part of the issue,” said Frank, “but you’re the first female Death since Lovethar, and we learned how that ended up. They fear what you’ll do to this world. You’re a loose end, a mystery they don’t want to solve.”
Suzie laughed. “Me, a mystery? What’s mysterious about one girl?”
“To a world of boys and men,” said Frank, “you’re the biggest mystery they’ve ever dreamt of.”
“I’m not sure I agree with him,” said Billy. “But you are definitely different. Many Deaths are nervous about you. They haven’t met a girl since they left the Living World. To them you’re probably a reminder that they’re stuck here. Plus, we’ve been taught Deaths are great the way we are, and there aren’t female Deaths.”
“Until now,” said Frank. “Suzie, it’s amazing you stood up to Hann, Frenchie, and Luc. Don’t you understand, you’re starting to change things?”
“I don’t want to change things. I want to get through this stupid year and go home. My life feels like it was long ago, and far away. At times…”
“What?” asked Billy.
“At times, I can’t tell which world is real anymore.” She sat down at the table and put her head in her hands.
“Let’s get you some dinner,” said Frank.
* * * *
“Hello Su-su-su-Suzie.”
A week had passed since Hann’s test. The visions had stopped, though she often woke in a sweat remembering dreams of fire and green eyes. She still hadn’t been back to the library and was itching to go. Even if Sindril was in the house, what would that hurt? Maybe she’d discover what he was plotting.
“Hi, Cronk,” she said, putting down her bag. Jason smiled as they sat down. Cronk brought her latest project to her desk.
“I lo-lo-lo-loved your l-l-last d-d-d-drawing.” Cronk pointed to the picture, now hanging on one of the walls. A solitary girl surrounded by black, her picture of loneliness.
“Thanks,” said Suzie, “but I’ve moved past it.” She looked at Jason, who smiled again.
She dabbed her paintbrush into colors and started to paint. The brush flowed against the paper, swirling into random patterns. She wasn’t painting anything in particular; the final piece would be a mystery. She let the paintbrush dance across the page, following the ever-shifting patterns of her mind. This world was a mystery, filled with mysteries, and according to Frank, she was the biggest mystery of all.
She continued to paint, letting her mind wander. The class ended, and she looked at what she had painted. Men in robes held scythes, flames flickered on the bottom of the page, and a man wore a purple robe. Colors swirled around the figures, leaping from the flames toward the top of her paper. In one corner, she had dropped two splotches of green paint. The splotches stared at her, like the green eyes from her visions.
“L-l-l-looking quite n-n-nice.”
“Thanks,” said Suzie. She nodded to Jason and continued through her day.
Applications was tense. She expected Hann to pull her out of Frank and Billy’s group, but he said nothing to her. They practiced more with the beginners’ blades, but Suzie was still unable to produce the green light.
After class, she pretended to head toward the bathroom. Instead, she walked a long, winding route through the College. She didn’t want anyone to follow her. Slowly, she made her way toward the Ring of Scythes.
She passed the Examination Room and turned down an alley. The rocky mounds and mountainous towers of the College reminded her of canyons and caves. Ribbons of red, maroon, yellow, beige, and other earth tones snaked around her, forming the rough sandstone walls. Narrow windows in the stone opened on either side of the alley, and she walked quickly past them. She turned into a courtyard of weeds and cobblestones, surrounded by uneven rock walls and immense arched windows. She walked through a doorway, around a corner, and came to the Ring.
The forest stretched on the other side of the Ring, only a few yards from the College. The road circled the Ring, branching toward the trees. She reached out her hand, and it passed through. She glanced around but only a handful of birds watched her. She stepped through and broke into a run.
Not glancing at the tangled trunks of the forest, Suzie ran down the road. She turned back but no one was following her. She rounded a bend and the College vanished behind the trees, but she continued. The road split, and she followed the left fork. Then she left the road and walked into the trees near the edge of the forest.
She stopped. A hill covered most of the house, and foliage covered the rest, making the house invisible from the road. She had first encountered the house from its exposed side, which faced the heart of the forest. She circled around a hill, but paused. Was Sindril here? Had he ever been here? She had to find out. She stood behind a tree and counted to ten. She walked to the door and waited again. Silence. She pushed the door open and held her breath.
The house was empty. The floor was dusty, but she couldn’t seem to make out any footprints. She walked around the room slowly. Three other bookcases like the one she’d gone behind stood around the room, but did not move when she tugged on them.
She held her breath as each beat of her heart seemed to thunder loud enough for anyone to hear. The slightest sound: a breath, a footstep, and she’d run. Nothing. She walked the room again.
A second room, one she hadn’t entered yet, stood to the side, behind a curtain. Whoever Sindril had spoken to sat here. A worn table sat in one corner, covered in dust. She circled the room, pressing on the walls. The dust on top of the table was smudged. She saw no other exits, and no footprints.