Sea Breeze 03 While It Lasts (28 page)

             
Jeremy was quiet a second then finally said, “Okay. I will. Can I ask you something?”

             
NO
.

“What?”

“Is she just another girl for you? Or is she different?”

I
gripped the
steering
wheel tightly trying to control the range of emotions rolling through me.

             
“Eva’s always been different,” I said through clenched teeth.

             
“Good,” he sighed, “I’ll call Nelly.”

             
I sl
ung
the phone down on the passenger seat.  This was my fault. If someone touched her it would be my fault. It would also be my fault when the stupid fucker got his face pummeled.

             
I pulled into the parking lot of Nelly’s and had the door open before I came to a complete stop. I’d managed to make an hour drive
in
only thirty minutes. It was a miracle I wasn’t behind bars.

             
The heavy wooden door swung open and
Becca
Lynn came tumbling out in
a pair of
stilettos and hanging on the arm of a wanna
be cowboy.

             
Her glassy eyes met mine and she gave me a drunken smirk, “Cage York
whatya
doin
’ here?”

             
“Where’s Eva?”

             
Becca
Lynn laughed and then shrugged.
“Last I saw her she was
dancin
’ on the bar.”

             
I stalked past
Becca
Lynn
and went inside. Scanning the room I searched for Eva.

             
“You here for Eva?” the bartender
called out.

             
“Yeah,” I replied
,
walking over to her, “Where is she?”

             
The lady threw a towel over her shoulder and stepped out from behind the bar, “Come with me.”

             
I followed her as she unlocked a door to the left of the bar and stepped into a dark hallway.

             
“I put her back here. I
ain’t
real crazy about bar fights in here. Jeremy told me the
c
alvary
was coming and if Eva
was
danc
i
ng on a table you’d tear the place up. So I put her in my office.”

             
The lady opened a door a
t
the end of the hall and stood back. “There
ya
go. I
gotta
get back out front. Take your time,” she said and turned
to walk
back down the hall.

             
I stepped into the room. One single lamp illuminated the room. Eva lay curled up on the faded sofa in the corner. Her eyes were closed and she looked so peaceful. God
,
I missed her. I’d held her once when she’d slept like this.

             
I closed the door behind me and walked over to her.  I bent down in front of her and brushed the curls out of her face. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek. I ran my thumb over the soft skin underneath her ear.  I’d worried that letting her
get
too close would break me.
Unfortunately,
I’d worried about that a little to
o
late.
Because I was broken.
  The Cage I was before Eva no longer existed.  As much as I didn’t want to admit it
,
I’d fallen in love with her. I’d allowed someone in and
she hadn’t
wanted me. I hadn’t been good enough. I never was.

             
Seeing her sweet
,
perfect
,
innocent face only drove the nail in further. I wasn’t good enough for her.
She deserved another Josh in her life. She deserved a guy who hadn’t lived a life so fucked up he could never be good enough. I’d walked too close to heaven and gotten a glimpse. The hell I’d lived before her no longer appealed to me.

             
I stood up and scooped Eva up in my arms. She cuddled against me. “Cage?” she whispered groggily against my chest.

             
“Yeah, I’m here
,
baby. Go back to sleep. I’ll get you home”

Eva
             

             
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I was at home.
In my bed.
But I didn’t remember going to bed. It was still dark outside. Glancing at the clock it said that is was four in the morning. A
glass of water and a bottle of a
spirin
sat on the bedside table with a small note.

             
You may need to take another a
spirin
when you wake up. Drink the water too.
ALL of it.

             
Cage. I could smell him on my shirt. Jumping up I ran to the window and looked down at the barn. Was he in there?

             
I started to run for the stairs
and I caught a whiff of
the cigarette smell on my clothes. I stripped down and
quickly got a shower
.
I had to
wash
off
the stench of the bar.

             
After I was clean and dressed
,
I ran down to the barn. I didn’t knock on his door. Instead, I opened it slowly.
The moonlight streaming in the window fell over Cage’s sleeping form.
My heart soared. He’d come to get me. He’d brought me home.

             
Cage’s eyes opened and he stared at me. I knew I needed to say something but just seeing him here and knowing he’d come back for me clogged my throat with emotion.

             
“What’
re you doing
,
Eva?” His voice didn’t sound angry. It sounded defeated.

             
“I woke up and I was at home. Then I saw your note and I came to see if you were here,” I stammered out. I didn’t want him to make me leave.

             
“I’m here. Now go back to bed,” he replied.

             
“Cage, please talk to me. I miss you.” I hadn’t meant to sound so pathetic but I couldn’t help it. He’d come for me. I needed to know why. He had to feel something for me.
I didn’t want to be just another girl he’d enjoyed and thrown to the side. Being with him had meant something to me.
He
meant something to me.

             
Cage let out a weary sigh and sat up. The covers fell away and his bare chest made me
almost
forget what I wanted to say.

             
“You can’t say shit like that
,
Eva. It isn’t fair.”

             
“How is it not fair to tell you how I feel? It isn’t fair that you just dropped me as soon as you got bored.
You just went off and screwed some slut with no problem.
”
             
Cage’s head snapped up. The angry scowl on his face startled me. “What? I didn’t drop you because
I got bored.  You. Rejected. Me!
And fuck that, Eva. ALL I saw while I was with them was
you
. I closed my fucking eyes and pictured you. Just— you.
”

             
He’d been thinking about me
.
Was I mentally screwed up because hearing him say that made it better? I hated he had been with other girls but just knowing it was hard on him and he’d thought of me eased the pain some.
I’d started this
.
My
stupid need
to please Josh’s mom.
He’d have never done it had I not brushed him off. 
All of this heartache just because Josh’s mother
had
made me feel guilty.

             
“I was confused,” I admitted.

             
Cage let out a hard laugh.
“Yeah, well
I wasn’t.”

             
I took a step t
oward him and he shook his head.
“Don’t come closer.”

             
“Please
,
listen to me. Let me explain.”

             
He r
an a
hand through his dark hair and I could see
the
internal battle in his expression. I needed to talk while I had him weak.

             
“I made a mistake. I listened to someone else
who
knew nothing about you. I let my fears get the best of me and I made a very
,
very
bad mistake.”

             
Cage dropped his hand back to his lap and his sad eyes met mine. “But you listened. Something Josh’s mother said made sense to you.
A
s much as I hate to admit it she was probably right.
You
were right to back away.”

             
He’d already figured
out who had talked to me a
nd
he called her Josh’s mom
,
not Jeremy’s. He was making this about Josh.

             
“No, Cage. No, I wasn’t.”

             
“Yeah, Eva
,
you were. I’m not the good guy. I’m not the guy you could ever tell your daddy about. You would be
embarrassed
to let people in this small town know you’d gone from the great and might
y
Josh Beasley to the loser Cage York. You deserve a Josh Beasley.”

             
My heart broke as I watched the self -loathing on Cage’s face. I hated
myself
for putting it there. He wasn’t Josh. He was nothing like
Josh
. He was more.

             
“Cage
,
please don’t,” I begged
,
closing the distance between us.

             
He backed away and I grabbed his face with my hands and covered his lips with mine. He didn’t respond at first.
When
I straddled his lap and crawled on top of him he caved
.
H
is hands slid up the backs of my legs
as
he
slipped his tongue in my mouth
and began kissing me back.

             
The groan that tore from his chest made me a little crazy. I wanted this so badly. I needed to feel close to him again. I reached for the bottom of my shirt and pulled it off ignoring Cage’s protest
.
I
g
rabbed
his face again
,
pressing
my bare chest against his. The cold barbell
tickled
my nipple and I shivered.

             
I tasted him the way he always tasted me.
Kissing
each corner of his mouth
,
I
nipped at his bottom lip and pulled his tongue into my mouth
sucking it hard
. When his hands cupped my breast
s
I cried out and pressed down on him. His erection put pressure on my swollen heat. Tonight that wasn’t enough. I needed to be closer. I’d almost lost him. I needed more.

             
I pushed him until he fell back on the mattress underneath me. Seeing him staring up at me with those eyes that reflected what I was feeling sent any doubt from my mind. I stood up and started taking off my shorts.

             
“Eva, don’t… ah fuck,” Cage groaned as I stepped out of my panties and crawled back on top of him. I pulled the covers down so I could take his boxers off and his erection sprang free instead. Cage slept naked. Reaching down I took him in my hands and slid my hands down his silky warm texture.

             
Cage let out a low moan, “
Ahhhh
, Eva you don’t want to do this,” he said in a hoarse desperate plea.