Searching for Tomorrow (Tomorrows) (10 page)

Whatever I was going to say disappeared, and suddenly laughter came out of my mouth. “Tripp, what in the heck are you doing? Are you going to feed me, too? I mean, seriously?” Oh my gosh, it was like something you’d see on TV. This suave, debonair gentleman feeding bites of caviar spread on toast points to the svelte, fashion model who sat at his feet. Really? Who does stuff like that?

“Well
, baby, I told you I was going to take care of you today.” There was that crooked grin again, and this time, the dimple on his left cheek made an appearance.

I
just couldn’t resist it. I leaned over and placed a kiss on his dimple. It was really an impulsive move for me. I had never initiated anything between us. Even though I had a bubbly personality, I was actually a little shy and introverted, and was more than content to let Tripp lead the way. Being forward just didn’t mesh with my character.

Tripp’s eyes expressed his surprise at my kiss. Before I had a chance to back away, he dug his hand into my hair, moved my lips to his, and kissed me like there was
no tomorrow. It seemed like both of us were neglecting our breakfast for more important things.

Ever since that horrible day last month, Tripp had become more demonstrative in his feeling
s for me, no matter who was around to see. He held me closer to him, kissed me more thoroughly, and very rarely was there a time that he didn’t have either his arms around me or my hand in his. It seemed as if he not only wanted to touch me, but also needed to touch me. I never once felt that his behavior crossed over to the inappropriate, and obviously, my parents agreed with me. Having witnessed his affection towards me on more than one occasion, they had yet to make one single remark about it. I was so glad they didn’t, because I really loved the way that Tripp made me feel precious and cherished, almost as if I were a valuable jewel.

A chuckle behind us broke the two of us apart, but Tripp didn’t let me get too far. He leaned his forehead to mine, and looking deep in my eye
s, in a low whisper said, “I love you, Wrynn, and I will love you ‘til my dying day.”

“I love you
, too, so much,” I whispered back. “Now feed me my breakfast before it gets cold.” I gave him a wink and a cheeky grin, and then pulled away from him.

I looked
up to see Liam standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Different emotions were playing across his face, and I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on in his head. I held my hand up to him, and wiggled my fingers in a come-hither motion. He stepped up to the table, grabbed the ends of my fingers in one hand, and proceeded to give me a noogie with the other.

After smacking Tripp on the back of the head,
Liam sat down with us at the table. “I sure do wish I was going with you today, T. I’m kinda scared for you, but at the same time, I feel sorta left out. This is a big step that you’re taking. Are you sure it’s the right thing to do?”

I just wanted to
scream at Liam. Here I sat, struggling to hold it together in front of Tripp, and Bub had to bring it up all over again. Tripp and I had done such a good job this morning, avoiding the topic of his signing up. But, in a weird sort of way, I actually understood how Liam felt.

“
Liam, man, I’m sure. We really don’t need to rehash this again.” Tripp pulled my head to his shoulder. “Wrynn and I are just trying to spend some time together today. If you want to talk about it later, let’s do that in private.”

Liam
looked at me with a small smile on his face and taking hold of my hand, he gave it a small squeeze. “Sorry, Sis. I wasn’t thinking. I know how hard this has been for me. Just can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but you know that we’ll get through this together.” With those words, he let go of my hand, stood up, and left the kitchen.

“If it’s all the same to you
, babe, I think we should just get ready and go ahead and leave. Can you be finished in thirty?” Tripp was already standing up from the table.

I
craned my neck to look up at him. He was the best-looking thing I had ever laid eyes on, and he was mine. I knew without a doubt that God had placed him in my life, because he completed me. Where I was weak, he had the strength to carry me. When I was broken, he had the love to mend my shattered pieces. Surely, I could handle being separated from him for just a little while, as long as I knew he was coming back to me in the end. I truly could enjoy this day. I knew that not one single day was guaranteed, but I would enjoy each that we were given. I couldn’t help but smile at the love that filled his eyes. “Yeah, babe. That sounds good. I’ll see you back here in thirty.”

One nice thing about Highlands in the autumn was the weather was almost always sunny and brisk.
The hot weather of summer was gone, and thank goodness, the bone chilling cold of winter was still a few weeks away. As we headed down Highway 64, I couldn’t help but notice that most of the leaves had already fallen from the trees. The people who traveled to our area to see the colorful fall foliage were disappointed when the trees were finally barren. To the locals though, it was the best time of the year to see all the beautiful waterfalls that were otherwise hidden behind the leaves. In a few more weeks, the temperatures would be cold enough that most of the falls would freeze over, but today, the sun glistened down on the water and made the mist look as if someone had scattered glitter in the air. Though the water would be cold, I hoped that one day soon the boys and I would be able to go on a waterfall hike.

With that in mind, I turned sideways in the seat to talk with Tripp. “
We really need to get one more hike in this year before the cascades freeze. I was thinking we could head down to DuPont State Forest. It’s been a while since we hiked those falls.”

Back in 1992, our small mountain area was in an uproar because a handsome young man named Daniel Day Lewis came to
DuPont State Forest with a film crew right behind him. They were there to film a little movie called
The Last of the Mohicans.
Tourists came far and wide to get close to the movie stars. After a little while, the uproar died down, but the damage had been done. Our beautiful waterfalls and mountains had been captured on screen, and the diehard fanatics would make annual pilgrimages to the area to worship the beauty the land provided.

Tripp shot me a teasing
grin before returning his eyes to the road. “You just wanted to wait until now because all the spiders have finally gone to ground. But yeah, we can do that. I thought we might go see Nana and Papa this weekend, but if we wait for the hike, one week can really make a difference in the temperature. Remind me to check the weather when we get home.”

“I know it’s going to be too cold to camp, so
maybe next year…” I stop dead in the middle of my sentence. Oh my gosh, Tripp won’t be here next year. My breathing slowed, turning to sharp gasps. I tried to draw a deep breath, but it just wouldn’t happen. I shook my head, feeling the anxiety gnawing from the inside.
He won’t be here. He won’t be here. Dear God, what will I do? I was stupid to think I could do this. Breathe. Breathe.
By now, every effort to take air in only produced a high-pitched wheeze. My lungs were turning against me. The weight on my chest made me think an elephant was sitting on me. My heart had jumped to my throat. Black dots were starting to swim before my eyes.
No, please, not a panic attack
. My peripheral vision started to blur and a cold sweat broke out along my body.

I felt
a sharp sting on my cheek, heard my name spoken, and then arms grabbed me up, moving me from the seat to a warm cushion.
You’ve got to breathe. You can do this. Take. A. Breath.
It was no use. The blackness was moving faster than I could escape it.

Warms hands rubbed circles on my back, and I hoped the soothing touch would help me calm down enough to draw air into my lungs.
“Wrynn baby, you’ve got to breathe.”

I heard the voice. It was rushed and laced with panic.
“Come on babe. Don’t do this to me again. You’ve got to breathe.”

I just needed to think about something else.
Waterfalls. Hiking. Camping. The lake. Oh no, Tripp won’t be at the lake next summer.
It didn’t work. I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t lead me right back to him. I was finished. I didn’t want to fight it any more. It wouldn’t hurt when the darkness pulled me under. So, I gave up.

Tripp singing
“Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses” by Kathy Mattea in his off-key pitch was the first thing that I heard when my brain decided to reenter the land of the living. The volume on the radio was down low enough that I could hear the truck tires as they moved over the top of the asphalt. The rough fabric pillow my head was resting on would be none other than Tripp’s jean clad thigh. Since I still felt a little woozy, I just kept my head right where it was. Tripp was gently running his fingers through my hair and lightly scratching my scalp as he sang to me. Hands down, that was one of my favorite things ever, and he knew that it would help calm me down.

“Baby, you awake?” The concern in his
voice, oh, it just broke my heart to hear it. I had done this to him before. The last panic attack that caused me to pass out was when he and Liam played that stupid spider prank on me at Merlefest. He had walked on eggshells around me for days after that, and Lord, that boy apologized a hundred times. Let me tell you, that was a good week for chocolate and me. He left Hershey’s Kisses and Reese’s Cups all over the house.

“Yeah, I think so
, at least. How long was I out?”

“About twenty minutes.
I pulled over and tried to rouse you, but it was like trying to wake the dead. When you’ve done this before, rest always made you feel better, so I just helped you lay down across the seat. I know we’ve been through this before, but I gotta tell ya baby, it still scared ten years off my life. Only you would black out on a stretch of deserted highway. We’ll be to Sylva in another five minutes or so. Do you want to stop and grab a cup of coffee before we head to the recruiting station?” I was so blessed to have found someone who not only loved me, but also knew me well enough to know exactly what I needed. I knew not everyone was that fortunate.

“That sounds great. I could use the restroom, and I’m sure that I need to freshen up a little.” As I tried to sit up, Tripp’s hand came down on my head, holding me in place.

“Baby, you just stay right where you are. We will be there in minutes, and I’d rather not have you passing out on me again, if you don’t mind.”

With a sigh, I settled back down to rest a little more. “Tripp, I just want you to know that I am so very proud of what you’re doing today.”
I gave a little snort of laughter. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I really am. I don’t want you to go away, but I completely understand your reasons. Please try to remember this over the next several months because I really don’t like hurting you, but I know that I am. I’ll try harder, I promise.”

Tripp chuckled. “
If you only knew the number of times I’ve questioned my decision, the number of times I’ve had to hold back tears. I can’t have everyone thinking that I’m a wuss, or all the guys would be hitting on my girl when I’m gone for Basic Training. Thankfully, when I leave, Liam will be here to keep an eye on you. ”

I giggled. Tripp, a wuss? He had to be kidding. The longer I thought about it, the harder I laughed.
Imagining my Tripp as anything other than the tall, muscular hunk that he was made my laughter turn to snorts. “Are you … freaking … serious? A wuss? You? I’m not … sure … that is … possible.”