“This is a much better idea,” I said as we soaked our feet in the foot spa.
“It really is. I’m coming back tomorrow, my legs are going to kill even more then.”
“Yeah, they really are. So will you admit Logan’s right and you should have started anything else before spinning?”
“Absolutely.”
I laughed. “To his face?”
“Not a chance in hell!”
That’s what I thought.
“He would
love
that.”
“He would.”
She groaned and closed her eyes. “Are your legs not hurting at all, Chlo?”
“They ache but Logan’s been training me well. I’m starting to feel like the old me again.”
“I am
so
glad to hear that. And Logan is the old him again, which isn’t always a good thing, the idiot. You did that, you know.”
I shook my head. “No, he did that. He saw that I wasn’t getting it together and getting me back to the world of the living gave him something else to focus on. He healed himself.”
“Hmm,” she murmured. “I still think you had a lot to do with it.”
“Indirectly, I did. I was in no state to help anyone back then.”
“What was it like? Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want but we’ve never really had that conversation.”
“It’s fine, I can talk about it. I was stuck, completely stuck and couldn’t see past everything I’d lost. For years I had literally no idea what I was going to do and it scared me. I missed Jace so much and could only concentrate on what we’d never get the chance to do. I’ll always love him but I don’t want to waste another second of my life, it’s far too short to not to live it.”
“We missed you at home.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. We’re all so glad you’re back now, the last five months have been a complete change, mostly for the better.”
“Hey, you’re definitely better off without that idiot. I know Rick hurt you but you’ll find someone that’ll treat you right.” Someone that didn’t think having a biological child right away was more important than their wife. There were far too many kids out there without parents and there were other options available to them to have a child of their own. Rick was just an arsehole.
She smiled. “One day. I’m done with men for now and just want to concentrate on getting my life back on track.”
I could identify with that but now my life was back on track I wanted to get back out there and see if I could form a connection with anyone. Jace had been it for me for so long and he was my first serious boyfriend so I didn’t know how dating was going to go. Would I compare them to him?
“Your perfect man will come along when you least expect it.”
“Did Jace come along when you least expected it? You were friends first.”
I tilted my head and smiled. “Yeah, he was definitely unexpected. Gamers weren’t usually my type but there was something about him, like you could never feel down because he was such a joker, that I was drawn to.”
“Do you ever wonder what it’d have been like if you’d remained friends?” I could tell she was thinking about wishing she’d never been more with Rick.
“No. It would have been a hell of a lot less painful if I’d never fallen in love with him but I would never wish it hadn’t happened.”
“So it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?”
That was hard but it was right. Losing Jace was unbearable but I had the most amazing memories. “I guess so. I’d go through the pain of losing him all over again to remember him telling me he loves me and generally being a big idiot.”
“Aww. Do you think the next guy you fall for will be enough? It’s hard enough sometimes living up to your new love’s ex but one that has died…”
“I’m not worried. I love Jace but I don’t want a replica. There is no replacing him. It’ll be different but equally as good.”
I hope.
Honestly, that terrified me. What if I never felt that in love again? I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing my one big love had come and gone and all I had left was consolation love. That sucked on so many levels, especially for the guy. “Is it weird talking about this stuff?”
She laid her head back, tilting it towards me. “Not at all. Why would it be?”
“You’re sitting there, listening to me tell you I’ll love my next… love the same amount as your brother.” Didn’t she feel some sort of loyalty to Jace where she didn’t want me to love anyone as much as him?
“Don’t be silly. You’re like a sister and thank God I have you because I’m left with Logan!”
“You love Logan.”
“Of course I do but brothers are a pain in the neck.”
I wouldn’t know being an only child and all.
Our feet were removed from the spa and the pedicure commenced. It was so nice to be pampered. I hadn’t been to a spa since before Jace died.
“I worry about Logan,” I said.
“That makes two of us but he’s getting there, Chlo.”
He was but sometimes his eyes would drift and he’d get a look of pure agony in his eyes and I had no idea where he was in those moments. I cared about him too much to let him drown in grief, guilt or whisky.
“Yeah, I just wish he’d open up more. All he really says is that he feels guilty over the argument with Jace and that
I’m doing fine, sweetheart
.”
“He’s a guy.”
“Not a good enough excuse for me. I might have to organise an intervention.”
She laughed, picking out a striking orange nail polish for her fingers and toes. “He’ll probably just laugh his way through that. Seriously, don’t stress over it. He’s alright.”
“He’s holding something back.”
“Isn’t he allowed his secrets?”
“No.”
Laughing again, she shook her head. “You two are like an old married couple.”
I frowned and bit my lip. We were, I suppose, we bickered and leaned on each other when we needed to – although that was more one-sided thanks to Mr I’m Fine, Sweetheart.
“I guess we are.”
That felt weird. Logan, along with Cass and Nell, was my best friend, the person I went to first, so to think we were like a married couple was strange. Not to mention the fact that he was Jace’s brother.
“Poor you!” she said. “Hey, at least I’ll still get you as a sister-in-law, huh?” Her face fell with mine. “’Cause that’s not weird at all.”
“Yeah, little too close to home I think.”
“Hmm…” She looked at me for a second too long and I had no idea what was going on in that blonde head of hers. “Anyway, what colour are you getting? I’m going for this bright orange for the almost beginning of summer.”
“Candy pink,” I replied. Not a colour I’d worn much in the last few years but things were looking up and I was feeling more and more like the colourful Chloe I missed.
“Will it go with your outfit for your date?”
“Yep, wearing a white sundress.”
“Cute.”
I winced. “I hope so.”
Opening the front door, I did a double take. “Logan,” I said, a little dazed. “What’re you doing here?” He was supposed to be Rhys.
“You said your parents were out.”
“Yes, but I’m often in the house alone, you know, since I’m twenty and all.”
“I remember your age, sweetheart.”
Groaning, I stepped back so he could come in. “You’re here to do the stare at Rhys, aren’t you?”
“Bingo. I spoke to your dad.” Of course, he did. Sodding men. “You look good, Chlo, you should change.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Logan, I’m not changing so you should just leave.”
“Do you have anything with a high neck?” he asked, ignoring my question and heading for the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
He looked over his shoulder as he walked up the stairs. “Come on, you can’t get changed from there.”
Following, I shouted, “I am
not
changing.” Jesus, he was acting as if I had on a transparent tutu and Basque. “Logan Michael Scott!”
“If you think using my full name is stopping me finding you a snow suit you’re sadly mistaken.”
He was rummaging in my wardrobe when I stomped into my room. I stood still for a few seconds, trying to work out if this was actually happening. Logan had his head in my clothes.
“Okay, what the fuck?” I snapped.
“He’s going to want to get in your pants.”
I threw my arms up. “So?”
He stilled, back to me, in the wardrobe still. What the hell was going through that pretty head of his?
“Logan?” I whispered.
Turning around slowly, he took a deep breath. “He’d want me to look out for you.”
Ah, this was about Jace.
“You do look out for me. I doubt Jace would expect you to pick out my outfits.”
“How much do you really know this Riley?”
“Rhys.”
“Whatever, begins with an R.”
“I’ve known him for about three and a half or four years, but I guess I don’t really know him much at all. That’s the point of dating though, to get to know each other. Not that you’d really know that, your idea of dating doesn’t involve much talking.”
“I’ll have you know they’re very vocal.”
Good thing I didn’t have lunch. “Lovely,” I muttered dryly.
Reaching back into the wardrobe, Logan pulled out an oversized, cream knitted jumper. “I like this.”
“I’d be too hot. My outfit is fine, Logan. Rhys isn’t an animal. I’ll be fine.”
“Can you at least not do that thing with your lips.”
“What thing with my lips?”
“Where you kind of purse them, just a tiny bit. You do it when you concentrate or really listen or are just million miles away.”
“Right.” Great, I was going to be self-conscious of that now.
“It’ll make him want to bite it.”
“My lip?”
“Yes. Don’t do it.”
Talking to Logan had never given me a headache before.
“Alright. No lip pursing that I don’t even know I do, got it. Is there anything else I should or should not do? Sir.”
His mouth twitched into a smile. “You shouldn’t have
any
physical contact with him. At all. In fact, why don’t I chaperone?”
“No, and no.”
“You’re planning physical contact?”
I sighed, exasperated. “No, I’m not but it’s likely at some point.”
The doorbell rang again.
“That’ll be Ryan,” he said.
“Rhys,” I corrected. He was doing it on bloody purpose now, the awkward arse! “Please, stay here until I leave. You don’t have to check him out, mostly because you’ve already done that. Please, Logan.”
“Fine. I’ll stay here. I won’t even look in your underwear drawer.”
There was nothing I could calmly reply to that so I gave him my stern glare and turned to leave.
“Chlo,” he said, gaining my attention again.
“Yes, Logan?”
“You look beautiful. Have a nice time.”
My heart warmed. “Thank you. I’ll call you when I get home.”
I left Logan in my room, hopefully not going through my underwear, and answered the door.
“Hey,” I said.
Rhys gave me a charming smile. “Hi. You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.” He really didn’t in a simple blue shirt and jeans. Rhys was handsome enough to pull off pretty much anything; he had striking light green eyes that meant even the plainest outfits still made him stand out.
“Ready?” he asked.
Closing the front door, I replied, “Yes. Where are we going?”
“Somewhere.”
“What?” I said.
He unlocked his car. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
I hated surprises, always had and always would. I didn’t like the unknown. I had on my knee length white sundress, glamming it up a bit with accessories because I didn’t know what we were doing. Surely, he would have told me if I was dressed inappropriately for whatever he had planned.
“Nothing dangerous.”
His laugher echoed as we got in his car. “No, nothing dangerous. I’ll have you home in one piece, I promise.”
“Okay. I trust you.”
Rhys pulled out of the drive and I caught a glimpse of Logan watching us from my bedroom window. At least his spying meant he wasn’t perving, yet anyway.
The drive was taking entirely too long. Silences, when they were awkward, made time almost stand still. This was one of those times. Outside of work, me and Rhys never socialised and that was hard to force now.
Say something, Chloe.
I managed to hold off on the awkward small talk or filling the silences with crap until we arrived at the local nature park.
“Picnic,” he said. “It’s a nice evening and I thought we could do something a little different to a drink at the local. I hope that’s okay?”
I was impressed. It was certainly a thoughtful first date and nice change from a pub. “This is great. I love picnics.”
He relaxed. “Good. I was worried for a second that you’d hate the idea and want to go back. There’s a really nice spot I used to go to with my family as a kid.”
“Lead the way then.”
Rhys grabbed the basket from the boot and we walked along one of the nature trails. I’d been along a few of them but this one was new to me. It was one of the shortest and if I was walking I usually wanted to get away for a good few hours.
“You been here before?” he asked.
“Yeah, I like the walks. Me and Logan have run a couple of them.”
“You run?”
“I love running and keeping fit in general. Not overly keen on the gym, I prefer to be outside.”
He was watching me a little too closely. “Wow, my last girlfriend was allergic to the outdoors. Not that I think you’re my girlfriend,” he added quickly, his eyes widening.
“It’s okay,” I replied, laughing.
It was way, way too early for anything like that. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet. Sure, he was handsome and at work we’d had a laugh but good looking and a giggle wasn’t enough. I needed a connection.
“You said you came here for picnics with your family, have you always lived here then?”
“Yep, I was born in the house my parents are still in. A bit boring really.”
“It’s not boring. If you find somewhere you love why would you want to move? Do you have your own place?”
He nodded. “Moved out three months ago.”
“How’s that going for ya?”
“It’s different. I like my space but not having to do my own washing!”
His mum still did his washing?
“Parents tend not to want to clean your house for you, huh.”
He shook his head. “What about you?”
“Still with the parents, at least until I finish uni.”
“How long do you have left?”
“Another year. I like it but I can’t wait to be done with education.”
We reached a picnic spot with wooden tables and plenty of grass for if you wanted to sit on a blanket. I let Rhys choose as this was something he used to do. He went to the table furthest away from the few people dotted around.
“I got sandwiches, pasta, chicken, fruit, chocolate, and juice.” He opened the basket and laid the food out.
I sat down. “This looks great, Rhys.”
He looked up as he poured us a glass of juice. “I hope you like it.” He took the seat opposite me. “So what’s the plan once uni’s finished?”
“Well, I want to be an event organiser. I’ve not decided if that’s weddings or general. There are plenty of hotels and venues around I could apply to if I choose weddings but not so much with general so I’d be looking at starting something up myself.”
“Yeah? Being your own boss would be great.”
“It would. A bit scary straight out of uni though, so I might see if I can get a little experience then maybe go on my own after a year or two. My course covers managing a business but it’s quite a big leap.”
“You’ll be great at that. You can get us organised at work in two seconds flat. I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve solved a problem before I’ve even processed what’s going on.”
Yeah, I was great at organising events and problem solving for other people. It was myself that I still struggled with.
“I love it but it’s one thing taking on staff of six, a big corporate event or someone’s wedding…”
“You’ll be fine.”
“What about you? What’s your grand plan?” I asked, tucking into a cheese sandwich.
He shrugged. “Now there’s a question. I have no idea. Still not figured that one out. It’s frustrating seeing my friends going off doing what they want and achieving something when I’m still working at the little pub I’ve been at since I was eighteen.”
How old was he? I’d put him no older than twenty-four.
“Plenty of people still don’t know what they want to do. You’ve got time to figure it out.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” He shrugged. “Would be nice to have even the smallest idea, though.”
“This is really good,” I said, changing the subject. I couldn’t identify with that, I’d had a plan since I was about thirteen. I knew what I wanted to do and what I wanted my life to be. He probably had the better idea though, if you didn’t plan you couldn’t be disappointed.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. When you didn’t agree to the date straight off I was worried you didn’t want to.”
“Sorry about that. I’ve not done this since Jace and it was just a little strange to begin with.”
He winced and I saw him practically kick himself. “I’m sorry, Chloe, I should’ve thought.”
I took a sip of the juice. “No, it’s fine, no need to apologise. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t ready or didn’t want to be.”
We fell into a slightly awkward silence. My dead boyfriend was always going to be a tough subject, no matter what the situation.
The sun broke through the clouds and I looked up, raising my arms. “I better get a tan this year,” I said almost absentmindedly.
“You’re already tanned,” he replied.
He was back smiling and the awkwardness had passed, thankfully. Rhys really was handsome. His pale green eyes looked almost translucent in direct sunlight. I liked that they were so unique; I’d never seen a colour like it before. Jace’s eyes were gorgeous too, although I’d always preferred Cassie and Logan’s slightly lighter shade of blue.
It was getting dark when we finally walked back to the car. Rhys had run the basket back earlier and then we’d gone on a long walk. It was really nice and I felt myself relaxing around him more and more.
“So, Chloe,” he said, leaning against his car, “am I going to get a second date or are you blowing me off?”
I couldn’t keep a straight face. “You’re very forward.”
His eyes widened. “Whoa, not what I meant! Shit, that really did sound wrong, didn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I know what you meant, and I’d love to go out with you again.”
This was the part where he was going to kiss me, I could sense it before he started to lean in. I hadn’t kissed anyone since Jace so my stomach was fluttering with nerves.
He tucked my hair behind my ear and pulled me closer to him with the other hand. I placed my hands on his chest, not quite sure if I wanted to push him away. This was unchartered territory. Since I was fifteen the only person that I’d kissed was Jace. That was five years of my lips belonging to him only.
When he was just an inch away I’d finally made up my mind. I was just a tad scared but I did want to know what kissing this gorgeous guy felt like. I lowered my arms, wrapping them around his waist as his lips finally met mine.