Secrets Of The Heart (Book 1, The Heart Series) (21 page)

Uh oh, what now?

“I’m not through with you, Carletti.”

Twisting around, he sensed the well of frustration radiating from her as his lights highlighted her tenacious features. His heart sank. “Listen, I’m not up to another fight today, understand?”

She hugged herself tight as a shiver racked her body. “Oh, gr…great, you get to call them when you want them.”

Giving up any chance of postponing the confrontation, Nick shrugged off his lightweight jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. A part of him regretted hiding any part of her in the sexy dress.

“Mmmm, nice and warm,” she murmured, nestling deeper in his coat. “Thanks.”

“I can give you five minutes, and then I’ve got to get back to work.”

“It’s not as if you’re busy or anything.”

As if the fates defied her, a car with a rowdy group of what looked like teenaged boys whizzed by Nick, yelling out the window and honking the horn. The gust of wind the racing car created kicked up surrounding litter, swirling it into a tunneled frenzy.

Nick guided Bree out of harm’s way, cocooning her between the back of her car and the front of his.

“Damn kids.” The itch to chase after them took hold of him. "Can’t this wait, Bree? I need to stop them before they harm someone or themselves.” He needed to get them off the road as soon as possible.

She grabbed his forearm, stalling him and sending a shower of awareness straight to his toes. He sucked in his breath and inhaled the wonderful heady scent of her.

A longing, so fierce and so sharp, attacked his heart. His concerns in chasing down the teenagers faded for a moment and only Bree stood out.

“I just want to know if this has anything to do with getting back at me for going out with the girls tonight.”

Bowled over, he asked, “How can you even suggest such a thing like that?”

“You have to admit you weren’t pleased earlier.”

He advanced a step, closing the small gap between them. “No, I certainly wasn’t. And, as much as I’d like to, I realize that I can’t control everything or anyone the way I want things to go. But I’m not so small-minded that I’d pull you over on a bogus stop. How can you even think that of me?”

She groaned as if in pain. Releasing her grasp on him, she threw up her hands in defeat. “Of course
you
wouldn’t. What in the world was I thinking of anyway?” She shook her head. “Forget I ever said anything, all right? It’s just been a miserable night all the way around for me.”

Something inside Nick cracked and shifted at her distress. “Come here, sweetness,” he said softly, gathering her close in his arms.

The large coat nearly swallowed her whole, but he reveled in cradling her to his chest. The outline of her locket dug into him, but the imprint of her wearing it left an indelible mark on his heart. Pressing his lips against her green apple-scented hair, he said, “I guess we both jumped to conclusions today, didn’t we?”

She nodded. “I didn’t really want to go tonight. In fact, I was going to cancel out.” Sighing heavily, her hot breath tickled his neck and sparked a fire in his blood. “But, I’m ashamed to say, your reaction to it all was like a bull seeing red. I charged ahead not caring about anything except trying to show you I wasn’t anything like your first wife.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Nick experienced a mixture of happiness and remorse all rolled into one. “I shouldn’t be holding you up to inspection like that. But I swear I got damned scared when I saw you speeding by. I had visions of finding you all mangled and twisted and burnt.” His voice broke and he tried to shun the horrible image of finding Bree dead.

“Like how you discovered Dorthea?”

Nodding, he said, “But you’re not like her, not really.” He pulled back and gazed into her beautiful eyes as he framed her face with his palms. “You’re good and kind and a great mother and a terrific lover…” Kissing her slowly, he felt the heat enter her cheeks. “And I can’t stop thinking about you…” Parting her lips with his tongue, Nick delved in, savoring the delicious taste of her.

Bree gasped for air when he broke the incredible, intoxicating embrace. “Oh, Nick, why are we doing this to each other?” She searched his gaze for an answer.

He chuckled. “Hell if I know. I’ve got another hour to go on my shift and I’m supposed to be coherent and capable. Lord, you’re like sweet, heady wine, making me dizzy and out of control.”

She nudged him in the middle, flushing with both pleasure and embarrassment. “Not
that.
I was talking about the accusations, the mistrust. Why can’t we just let it all go?”

As if a cold bucket of water doused him, Nick jerked away, leaving Bree confused and bereft. “I can’t.” Even as the headlights surrounded him, throwing him into silhouette, she detected the regret chiseled on his face. “I can’t change who I am and what I believe overnight.”

“When Vinnie died you did.” She hated pointing it out, but she had to try to make him see reason.

“That’s different. I lost my son.” His tone roughened with emotion, tearing her apart inside.

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “We both discovered this isn’t a perfect world, Nick, and there are no perfect people. All I’m asking is for you to let go of some misconceptions about me, about life.”

“You’re talking about having a wealth of faith and trust. You’ve forgotten I don’t have either one to give you or anyone else.”

She picked up on the last. “What about Sydney? You still have it with her, don’t you? Hasn’t having her in your life taught you that children give you both, plus love, unconditionally? You’re her poppa, her hero.”

“Don’t do this, Bree. I’ve got a job to get back to.”

He turned away, and then walked a few steps before she caught up with him. Whipping off his coat, she thrust it into his arms. A cold chill invaded her bones, one she couldn’t just pinpoint on the loss of his sandalwood-scented jacket still warm from his body.

“Keep it, you’re trembling.”

Shaking her head, she refused his generous offer. “You need it more than I do.”

She made to leave, but stopped. Gazing up into his troubled dark eyes, her chest tightened, squeezing her heart until it hurt.

“You’re wrong, Nick. About faith and trust. You still have some. Oh, not in people…well, Sydney’s probably your only exception and I’m grateful for that.”

She tapped his badge with her index finger. “If you still didn’t have faith and trust in the judicial system you’d have escaped long ago, especially when Vinnie’s killer will be out on parole in less than seven years with good behavior. You can’t convince me that you’d stay in that kind of environment if you abhorred everything about it, now can you?”

***

Bree woke with a start. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Sitting up in Nana’s favorite chair, she gasped for breath as she listened for the bang that had shaken her from her terrifying nightmare.

“Nick,” she whispered, recalling the sharp, painful feeling of losing him.

Visions of him bloodied and beaten sprang to the forefront of her mind once again. She forced the dream out, trying to erase the horrifying image.

Breaking out in a cold sweat, she shivered in the thin, black nightie. Shoving the blanket off of her and bolting out of the chair, she stumbled in the darkness on her way to the kitchen.

The hum of the refrigerator lent a reassuring quality to the stillness. And the blue numbers on the microwave beamed through the fuzzy blackness. She did a double take, reading the time. “Two twenty! Nick, where are you?”

Panic sliced through her middle.

What would I do if anything happened to him?

A hollow ache swamped her; she knew she’d be lost without him.

“Dear God, please let Nick be all right. It’s just not for me, it’s for Sydney, too. Please, don’t hurt her any more than she’s already been.” Her voice broke on the last, knowing she’d bargain with anything she had to have her prayer answered.

A metallic scraping noise pierced the air. She froze. With all her senses alert, she waited as footsteps came through the mud room. The kitchen door was thrust open, revealing a large, looming frame.

“Nick?” Her voice wobbled, half in fear, half in hope.

“Bree, what are you still doing up?” She heard the concern in Nick’s husky tone.

Sweet relief rushed through her like a shot of whiskey, hot and quick. The click of a switch sounded. Light flooded the room, making her squint at the sudden harshness.

When she focused on him, she blinked several times at his disheveled appearance. She zeroed in on a bruise darkening his jaw. Her heart jumped.

She scanned the rest of him. His torn uniform shirt sent a coldness straight to her toes. Behind the ripped material, she spotted the long red scratches on his shoulder and chest. But it was the blotch of crimson blood slashed across his middle that careened her back in time.

End over end, she toppled into the past. The night Vinnie was murdered rushed up, strangling the very breath from her lungs. When Nick had arrived at her door her first thought had been of him being seriously wounded or worse dying.

History repeats itself.

Shockwaves reverberated through her now just as it had then. She felt the color drain from her face, felt her knees buckle.

With his heart in his throat, Nick raced around the breakfast bar to Bree’s side, catching her. He cradled her close. “Bree, are you all right? Speak to me, sweetness.”

“Just hold me,” she murmured into his chest, clinging to him.

Relieved she hadn’t fainted, he gave in to her request. He elbowed the back of the breakfast stool, twisting it around.

Easing his battered and bruised body down onto the cushion, Nick sighed. He tugged her to him, welcoming her warmth. It felt so good to hold her, so good to feel her again. And, he couldn’t deny how much he needed this, needed her.

She roused herself to ask, “Am I hurting you?” Pulling back, she searched him with a swift, quizzical gaze. “Where are you hurt? How bad is it?”

“Nothing to write home about.” He deliberately played down the fiasco arresting those drunken, rowdy teenagers who had come back to taunt him.

“But the blood.”

Absorbing the shiver of revulsion that racked her body, Nick squeezed her tighter. “It looks worse than it is.”

Relaxing, she sank into his embrace. “Thank you, God.”

Nick chuckled. “What am I, an answer to a prayer?”

“Definitely.” She smiled up at him, stealing all his breath away. Shrugging, she continued, “When I was a little girl I asked God for a very special man to marry me. He brought me you.”

Growing uncomfortable with all the talk about Him, Nick dropped a light kiss on her forehead. He helped her onto the seat beside him.

The moment he let go, he regretted losing the intimate contact and the silky feel of her in the sexy nightwear. Clearing his throat, he said, “I’ll get you some water.”

“What’s wrong?”

Filling a glass at the stainless steel sink, Nick turned to her, catching the deep frown marring her brow. “Did you ever think Vinnie was the result of that particular prayer and not me?”

“Never.”

The quick, definite reply surprised him. “No doubts, no questions?” He turned the cold water knob off, and then walked to the opposite side of the breakfast bar where she sat. He handed her the glass.

She took a sip. Nick longed to lick the wetness away from her soft, sweet lips with his tongue. Heat stole through his blood.

Trying to cram the thought of tasting her and a whole host of other impure thoughts to the back of his mind, he focused on her trembling hand. Reaching over, he guided the glass to the counter top.

“I…I have to tell you something that you may find hard to believe.” She avoided looking directly at him.

“Now what?” he muttered under his breath. He eased onto the seat beside hers once again. He cupped her icy hands, rubbing the warmth back into them. “It can’t be all that bad, can it?” His attempt at getting her to crack a smile failed. A bubble of anxiety rose in his belly.

“I’m just not used to being so candid with you. But I promised myself I’d try to open up more.” She paused for a moment. “You already know Vinnie and I didn’t really love each other.” Her voice was so low he strained to hear her. “But…what you don’t know is, we weren’t going to file for a divorce, in the true sense.”

Confusion clouded his brain. He dragged a hand over his face. “But you said—”

“I know,” she interrupted. “That’s the story we were going to tell everyone.”

A pinprick of temper jabbed his gut. “Including me, right? It makes no sense when both you and Vinnie knew I couldn’t accept a divorce. So why say so when it wasn’t true? And what the hell does ‘in the true sense’ mean anyhow? Were you two getting a divorce or not?” He cringed at the mixture of frustration and annoyance in his tone.

Bree sucked in a quivering breath and locked gazes with him. “We were getting an annulment.”

Denial beamed bright inside him. “Now that’s funny. Just how were you two going to pull that off?”

“We never consummated the marriage, Nick,” she barely whispered.

Shockwaves crashed over him, shaking him to the core. He grasped for straws. “But Sydney…”

Turning frightfully pale, she closed her eyes. “I got pregnant before the wedding. Vinnie insisted…” Opening her eyes, she said, “But I’ve already told you all that, right?”

Slowly, things began to add up for Nick. “So you and he never
really
loved each other after all. That’s why you never took his name. That’s why you were hardly ever together when either one of you visited. That’s why you rarely spoke of the other. That’s why you slept in separate rooms.”

Nodding, she said, “It was never a real marriage at all. We were roommates raising a child, not husband and wife.” A red flush darkened her chalky cheeks. “I’m ashamed to say I took the easy way out. If only I’d waited before I went to bed with…”