Secrets Of The Heart (Book 1, The Heart Series) (25 page)

A gnawing sensation began deep in Nick’s belly. Age-old cop instincts held him in a fierce grip. Suspicions burst like fireworks through his head.
More phone calls!
“You said, at first…”

With a furrowed brow, he tapped a finger against his lips, and then said, “Yes, yes, now I’m not so sure they were as innocent as I assumed.” He cleared his throat. “They’ve increased in frequency and it seems as if the woman on the line is getting the information for someone else. Of course, we’re not saying anything at all. But I thought you should know they’re asking a lot of questions about Bree’s past.”

Looking through the glass door, Nick sought out Bree. Her teasing, carefree expression from earlier was absent. In its place was a troubled, pensive look that nudged a warning signal into life. With big, soulful eyes, she locked gazes with him, sounding off alarm bells in his head.

She’s either one popular lady or someone’s hunting her down. I’d bet good money on the latter. And I’d bet she knows it, too!

Bone weary, Bree trudged up the last few steps of Nick’s side stairs. A few weeks ago she’d done the same thing only she’d climbed up to her lonely apartment. A smile tugged at one corner of her mouth.

My life has changed so much for the better since then
.

A sobering thought poked at her conscience.

Well, some things didn’t seem all right
.

Icy reason grabbed her. What had Father Tom talked to Nick about? The hard, probing stare Nick had shot her could only mean it concerned one thing: Her.

She tried to shake off the memory of Nick’s intent, questioning look from a few hours ago. A coldness had invaded her heart at that moment and hadn’t left her since.

Entering the house, she sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “It’s time to face the music,” she murmured. As she walked into the softly lit kitchen, she said, “I’m home, Nick.”

“In here.” The rich quality of his voice always sent a delicious warmth to her center.

Following the buttery puddle of light to the living room, she stopped in the archway. He sat on the delicate chintz sofa hunched over the coffee table, gazing at some sort of book. Holding back a chuckle at how out of place such a big man looked in the flowery room, she drew near, and then dropped down beside him.

“Thanks for the chocolate cupcakes. They were delicious. What do you have there?”

As if coming out of a trance, he did a double take at seeing her less than six inches away. He frowned, saying, “Ah…photo albums and Nana’s scrapbooks. The kids were interested in them.”

With her index finger, she traced the line etched near his mouth. “Hey, you okay?”

The muscles beneath her questing digit shifted and he shot her a lop-sided grin. “I guess I’m still stuck in a time warp after checking these out.” He tapped his hand on the pile of books stacked to his right. “I’ve avoided them for so long.”

“Does this nostalgic trip have anything to do with you taking Sean under your wing and allowing him to sleep over in Vinnie’s old room?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he nodded. “It’s like clearing out the cobwebs on a shrine, sweetness. It stirs up a lot of dust.”

An ache behind her rib cage arrowed through her heart. On one hand she realized what a good strong influence he’d be in the fatherless boy’s life. But, on the other hand, she also knew how this encounter had ripped the scab off of Nick’s wounded soul. Leaning forward, she dropped a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Oh, Nick, how can I help you?”

Turning to her, he searched her face. His long, lingering gaze filled her with such warmth, such caring. “You have already, by being in my life, by forcing me to take off the blinders and see what happened for what it really was.” He paused for a moment. “But there is something you have in your power that could point us all in the direction of recovering totally.”

Confusion washed over her. “All? I don’t understand.”

“Let me adopt Sydney.” His plea, filled with rough emotion, tugged at her core.

She pulled away, feeling the color drain from her face. Standing abruptly, she moved to the fireplace, keeping her back to him. With her eyes tightly shut, her mind screamed,
Noooo!
“Adopt?” she managed to ask on a puff of air.

Why haven’t I prepared myself for this? Of course he’d want to claim Sydney. How stupid of me not to think this far ahead.

“Is it so absurd to you to even consider it?” His voice rang with restrained anger. “The only way we’ll be a real family is if I take Sydney for my own. Your daughter is worried about going to school next week and not having a daddy when most of the other kids will.”

Stunned wonder raced through her; she had no idea the lack of a father bothered Sydney. With one hand she grabbed hold of the wooden mantel, and then twisted to look at him. “She told you that?” At his curt nod, she asked, “When? She never once said anything to me about it.”

He smiled grimly. “You’d be surprised at what goes on in that little head of hers.” Dragging a hand over his face, he let out a sigh. “It seems Sherrie’s stepfather is petitioning to adopt her, so it’s been a frequent topic of conversation for the two best friends lately.”

A frigid hand squeezed Bree’s heart until it hurt. “She’s got you,” she croaked.

He locked gazes with her. “What if something happens to you? Can you guarantee that the courts will give her to me?”

“I left you custody of Sydney in my will.”

It was his turn to look taken aback. “Wh…when did you do that?”

Should she lie through her teeth? She dug her fingertips into the hard wood, welcoming the anchor. Swallowing hard, she knew what she had to do. “The day she was born.”

His wide, dazed expression seemed more in agreement with someone who had just witnessed an explosion. The atmosphere rang with eerie stillness. She watched as he tried to form words, but nothing escaped his mouth.

“I—” She cleared her suddenly clogged throat, dropped her arm, and then wrung her hands together. “I couldn’t trust Vinnie to do the best job. You were always there for me, Nick, even when we were barely speaking. I hoped you’d always be there for my daughter. For Sydney’s sake.”

Please, God, let him be there for Sydney even if he ever finds out my secret. Don’t let her life suffer because of my mistakes
.

“You know I will?”

Do I? Do I really?

Rising, he came toward her, stopping only a few scant inches away. “So you shouldn’t have any objections to me adopting her now.”

Avoiding his penetrating dark eyes, she stared at the design and lettering on his favorite Boston Red Sox T-shirt. She shrugged. “There’s really no reason to, is there? I mean, she does have your last name and everything.”

“There’s every reason to,” he said between gritted teeth. “Put yourself in her shoes, Bree. She wants to fit in when she goes to kindergarten. It’s going to be pretty bad when she has to explain how her mother ended up being married to her grandfather.”

When she went to speak, to defend herself, he held up a hand, saying, “Wait, before you say it I will. She’s heard the gossip already just by being exposed while at your beauty shop. It hurt her when she learned some people think we’re different, odd even.”

A mother’s rage bolted through her, firing her blood. She balled her hands into fists. “Damn those people!”

“That’s mild compared to what I thought,” he grumbled. “Now do you see how important this is? For your daughter’s sake put aside your own misgivings, your own feelings.”

I’ve done that since the day I discovered I was pregnant with her, but no one knows it. Sydney always comes first
.

As he waited expectantly for her reply, she felt the walls closing in on her. Her thundering heartbeat filled her eardrums. The air became hot and stuffy. The scent of his sandalwood after-shave seemed to intensify, almost overwhelming her.

And her mind swam, keeping any coherent excuse at bay. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Yes, would be a good answer right about now.”

Could she go through with it? Did she dare?

Think of Sydney’s future happiness, think of her wellbeing if the truth ever came out. What would Nick’s lawyer dig up when he researched her past for the court documents? He’d find out, I just know he would. Then Nick would know, too
.

Shuddering inwardly at the horror of that outcome and the ensuing damage, she grabbed at a tiny thread spinning through her scattering thoughts. “You once said you couldn’t be the father of my baby when you couldn’t trust me, Nick. What makes this any different?”

He froze. “It just is.”

Grasping for her daughter’s life and peace of mind, she said, “I don’t think it is.”

The grim look on his face told her more than words. “Is this some type of emotional blackmail, Bree? Until I can learn to trust you, then you won’t agree to the adoption.”

A sinking sensation flooded her middle. “I wouldn’t call it that.”

“Well, I will.” Taking a step closer, he settled his big hands on her shoulders. “How am I supposed to trust you when we both know you’re still keeping things from me?”

A band constricted around her chest. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

It even hurt her to take a small breath. “What exactly are you accusing me of, Nick?”

“There’s someone out there looking for you.”

Panic infringed on her mind, blurring the edges of her sanity. She tried to shrug off his assumption, but the weight of his hand prevented her from budging her shoulder one bit. “Oh, you’re talking about the phone calls again—”

“Father Tom told me that they’ve received some at the rectory asking about your past.”

A cold sheen of perspiration bathed her body.

So that’s what that little talk was all about
.

Frantically, she shifted through her numb brain for an answer. “You know, I think I figured out what they’re all about. My high school reunion always comes up about this time of year. I haven’t kept in touch with them since I moved here when I married Vinnie. I bet you it’s just someone from the alumni committee who saw the announcement in the paper and wants to send me an invitation.”

She waited with baited breath for his response. The pressure on her shoulders eased and he ran his hands down the length of her arms. Her tumbling insides settled down as his features relaxed into smooth lines.

“I suppose that could explain it,” he said more to himself than to her. “I’ll check into it for you.”

A tightness grabbed her throat and she almost choked. “I’ll take care of it, since I have to hunt through a bunch of packed boxes to find the lady’s name that runs these things.”

He frowned down at her. “But you will tell me how it turns out, won’t you?”

The lump lodged in her throat seemed to grow to mammoth proportions. She smiled weakly. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

Your number will be up soon, Bree, my girl, if you don’t stop him from destroying your life…and your little girl
.

“Well, Princess, that’s the last of them,” Nick said as he taped the final cardboard box shut. Over the last week he’d rummaged through all of Vinnie’s things, disposing of the useless, giving away clothes to the needy, and storing some treasure for Sydney when she grew up.

For himself, Nick had kept a half dozen items that captured the essence of his son: the half inflated football they’d spent endless hours passing back and forth while talking about life; a worn out photo of a toothless Vinnie and the first fish he’d caught; his favorite childhood toy, a red metal fire truck; the battered Boston Red Sox baseball cap Nick had bought Vinnie at the very first game he’d taken his son to at Fenway Park; the gold pocket watch passed from each Carletti policeman to the next generation carrying a torch for justice; and the badge Vinnie had loved so much he’d died for.

As Nick looked at the bare walls with outlines where pictures and posters hung only a short time ago, he said a silent good-bye to the little boy, and then the young man.

He’d thought the parting would be unbearably painful. But, in fact, he experienced a lightheartedness and a sense of peace that had alluded him for years.

How could he have ever known facing the painful past, what hurt the most, would finally give him solace?

His gaze came to rest on the sleeping form of his pink pajama-clad granddaughter curled up under the crumpled bedspread on the twin bed. A sweet ache tugged at him.

Lord, I love that little girl
.

In a few short strides, he drew near, and then bent to tenderly scoop her up in his arms. She mumbled in her sleep and snuggled close. “It’s all right, Princess, I’m just taking you to your own bed.”

Dropping a gentle kiss on the top of her hair, he caught the fragrant green apple scent of the shampoo she and Bree used.

As he made his way down the hall to her bedroom, he marveled at the wondrous little things Bree had brought into his life since their marriage.

Living with her heady scent, strawberry bubble bath, and green apple hair products stirred his senses to life. The softness of her touch eased a hungry ache deep in his soul. The feel of her cradled in his arms appeased his battered heart.

But the sight of her in his house brought boundless joy and a fierce rightness to his world.

Halting at the side of Sydney’s bed, Nick smiled at the pretty pink and white room Bree had reconstructed in his home. Every detail spoke of her love for her child.

“Hey, you forgot to say your prayers tonight,” Nick said softly to her.

“’Gether, Poppa.”

He chuckled. One time, not too long ago, that would have struck a chord of fear in him, but he’d faced so many demons lately that praying no longer was one. “How about if you just say, God bless everyone, will that due?”

“I’d say that covers it all,” Bree said from the doorway.

He whipped his head around. The sight of her warmed him. “You know you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that. It’s liable to get you in trouble someday.” He couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice.