See Jane Fall (43 page)

“It was fine, Jane. Thank you for
asking.”

Franco leaned his head to the side, opening
his palms, and sighed. His voice was a purr as he nodded slowly at
Sara. “Ahh. Like-a that,
Dolce
.”

Sara’s eyes were heavy and her mouth was
parted in…in what? Pleasure? She took a deep breath, closing and
opening her eyes like a porn star, and a smile spread across her
face. Cat-like. Sexy.

Franco ignored this frank display of arousal
and finished his eggs, finally sliding the empty plate forward to
Sara, who took it and placed it in the sink.

Jane blinked again and realized she had been
holding her breath as she observed them.

“Franco,” started Jane, having seen just
about enough to feel a little worried and a lot confused. “Can I
have private word with my cousin?”

“
Sí.
Franco needs a shower.” He
turned to Sara, his eyes intense and narrowed. His voice was low
and sexy, almost a whispered growl. “Civility, S. Come-a join me
when you done.”

Sara stared at him, nodding, her ponytail
bouncing up and down. Jane saw her nostrils flare as her eyes
followed Franco across the room until he closed the bathroom door
behind him.

“Sara!” Jane whispered. “For fuck’s
sake!”

Her cousin turned to her in a daze then took
a deep breath, composing herself. For the first time that morning,
Jane could see traces of the old Sara. The pre-Jackson Hole
Sara.

“What?” Sara demanded in an annoyed
whisper.

Jane took her cousin’s arm and pulled her to
the far corner of the living room by the windows, away from the
bathroom where they could hear the shower running.

“What the
fuck
is going on with you
two?” Jane demanded.

“We…connected.”

“You
connected
,” Jane repeated. “What
does that mean? Did you connect over a brain transplant?”

“I don’t know if you would understand,” Sara
sighed.

“Try me.”

Sara smiled, and The Cheshire Cat had
nothing on Sara’s salacious grin. She flicked her eyes over to the
sofa, where Jane saw a pair of handcuffs, a black silk scarf, a
riding crop and assorted other latex “toys” in brightly colored
shapes and sizes. She gasped, mouth open, turning her face back to
Sara.

“Oh. My. God.”

“Don’t be so goddamn provincial, Jane!”

“Is he
forcing
you to—?”

“Don’t be absurd. I’m Samara Amaya,
jackass.”

“You mean you…
want
…things…to be…like
that
?” Jane raised her eyebrows, still trying to get her
head around the fact that her bitchy, domineering cousin was almost
certainly playing a willing Submissive to her trainer’s Dominant.
Bossy, mean, selfish Sara was Franco’s submissive. She couldn’t
have been more shocked if aliens
had
abducted Sara. She
still wasn’t discounting the possibility.

Sara tilted her head.

“Not that you
deserve
an explanation,
Janie. But, it just…
happened
. I was unpacking, and he came
into my room to see if I wanted to loosen up with some yoga
stretches. I yelled at him to find me a goddamn bottle of water,
and he said that if I ever spoke to him like that again, he’d shove
the goddamn bottle of water up my ass and he’d make sure I begged
him for more. I raised my hand to slap his face, and he grabbed my
wrist and yanked me up against his body. I thought about screaming
but he was kissing me so hard, my arms were pinned behind my
back…everything was
so hard
, and then I just…surrendered.”
Sara’s eyes were wide and luminous, dilating as she spoke, her
breathing heavier as she remembered. “I swear to God, Janie, I came
while he was kissing me. No one’s ever…I mean, I never knew—”

“Okay! Stop, please.” Jane put her palms up
and averted her eyes. But, as grossed out as she was by the
details, Jane couldn’t deny that she was also fascinated. “Wait.
Knew what?”

“How it feels to play a little rough. To let
someone else be in charge.” She smiled at Jane from under heavy
black lashes.

“Like
that
?” Jane glanced at the
handcuffs and riding crop again.

“Oh, little Janie. That’s just the tip of
the iceberg. He’s so strong. So demanding. He
needs
so much;
he
wants
so much. I want to keep up. I never know what’s
next. I don’t want to disappoint him. And it’s, like, shocking and
a-m-a-z-i-n-g.
I don’t want it to—”

“Enough!” She didn’t know how to make sure
Sara was safe without hearing the gory details. “Are you sure
you’re
okay
with this?”

Sara’s voice was wistful, far away as she
looked out the window. “It’s like…it’s like being a little girl
again.”

Jane cringed, and then looked away, at a
total loss for words.

“Don’t be disgusting, Jane. I don’t mean
anything perverted by that. I didn’t know what I needed. But he’s
so strong and he’s so in control, it’s like being taken care of by
someone who knows exactly what’s best for me, and when I please
him…” She sighed, her glance flitting longingly to the bathroom
door. “…he pleases me.”

Jane’s nose wrinkled like she’d smelled
something sour, leaning back from Sara, still trying to get her
head around this change. She thought she had seen everything, but
she had never seen this side of Sara, and honestly, Jane wasn’t
sure if she was ready for it.

“Your body can’t be marked up,” Jane blurted
out.

In an instant the old Sara returned. “Oh,
Jane! You’re such a goddamn goody-two-shoes peasant. You think I’d
let him do that? We have a
safe word
, for crissakes. I’m not
a moron. And I see your simple-minded face, but it’s
not…
dirty
. If it’s, you know, what
I
want, and what
he
wants, there’s nothing wrong with it. So, to answer your
stupid, fucking question, yes, I’m okay with it.” She took a deep
breath and touched her neck, slowly, languorously, in thought. “He
makes me feel free. I know it sounds weird, but he makes me feel
safe, Jane. I haven’t felt safe in a long, long time.”

Since you were nine years old.

“S!” They heard Franco call from the
shower.

Sara looked at Jane, her face flushing with
anticipation. “Gotta go. Don’t worry about me, cousin Janie.”

She watched Sara close the bathroom door
behind her, then practically fell to the couch, pulling her
sweatshirt over her hand to push the “toys” away with a disgusted
grimace. As loud moaning noises emanated from the shower, Jane took
out her phone and glanced at it. She had an hour until Mr.
Lindstrom arrived to pick them up and Sara certainly didn’t need
Jane.

Jane had just enough time to get to the
Prairie and back. She could return the borrowed things and say a
quick good-bye to Maggie.

***

Lars was anxious to get to the park and get
the hell away from any reminders that Jane was leaving. He swiped
at his burning eyes again, refusing to cry like a little kid or a
woman. But he ached from the pain of it. To be so close to having
someone you wanted in your life only to lose her…only to watch her
make the decision to walk away.

He pulled into an available parking space
and slammed his car door shut. He threw open the glass door of the
small office and stood in front of her father’s desk without
offering a greeting or pleasantries. Mr. Lindstrom looked up and
smiled then returned his attention to his computer, putting up his
index finger.

Lars didn’t feel like waiting. He put his
hands on his hips. “Pop, just stopped by to tell you I’m quitting.
I can’t do that drop-off today and I—”

His father took off his reading glasses,
turning in his chair to give Lars his full attention. “Whooooa,
Midten
. Come in and talk to me.”

“You or Nils have to do the drop-off.”

“That’s fine.”

“And I’m not doing it anymore.” He plopped
down in the loveseat across from his father’s desk, fingering the
brim of his cowboy hat. “These city folks. These talent jobs. No
more.”

“No one said you had to. Thought you liked
working with talent.” Mr. Lindstrom furrowed his brows at Lars,
tapping his lip with the stem of his glasses.

“I don’t. I don’t like it. I won’t do it
anymore.”

“Am I wrong to ask if there’s more to this
than—”

“Jane’s not staying.” He tossed the hat on
the glass table in front of him and ran his hands through his
hair.

“Ah.” His father folded the glasses gently,
placing them carefully beside his keyboard.

“She said she was, but now she’s not. She’s
going home. Some obligation to her uncle, staying with a job she
hates working for that bitch instead of—”

“Language, Lars.”

“Sorry, Pop. She’s says it’s temporary, but
I know it’s not. She said she’ll come back, but come on…” He
tightened his jaw, hating the way his heart twisted as he boiled
down everything to a few final sentences. He picked up his hat,
studying the brim again. “Doesn’t matter. I only came by to say I’m
quitting. I can’t do Lindstrom Elite. I know that’s what you want
and I can’t do it. So…”

“It was a suggestion, Lars. An idea. Not in
stone. You don’t have to quit.”

“I think I do, Pop. I’m not an equal part of
this business.”

“How do you mean?”

“I own ten percent.”

“What would make you happy?”

“Thirty would be fair.”

“You don’t handle management, son.”

“I could, Pop. I haven’t been given a
chance.”

“Maybe you haven’t at that.”

“I have ideas too. Wildlife tours. Adventure
tours. Camping, hiking. More of that. I could come up with some new
ideas.”

“I’d like to see ’em. And we can make some
changes. You’re integral to our success, Lars. Part of the reason I
started my own business was so that I could be my own boss. I don’t
answer to anyone but you boys, and you don’t answer to anyone but
me and Nils. You’re a few years younger, always seemed happy just
being a guide. I didn’t want to push you take on more.”

“Well, I’m ready.”

“Then we’ll figure it out. No need to quit.
You don’t want talent jobs? Nils can take ’em for a while. Heck, we
can turn ’em down if we want.”

A huge lump had formed in his throat as his
father acquiesced to his requests. It didn’t help. It didn’t help
the ache inside to know that Lindstrom & Sons would be
reorganized. The pain was still there, twisting, throbbing.

He fingered the brim of his hat with his
eyes down. If he looked into his father’s ice-blue eyes and saw
love there, he might start to cry, and he couldn’t bear the
humiliation of bawling in front of his father.

“I liked her an awful lot, Pop,” he
whispered. “I might’ve fallen in love with her.”

“Might’ve?”

Lars shrugged, blinking his eyes rapidly and
swallowing again.

“
Jag älskar henne
.”
I love
her
.

“Thought as much when you walked up with her
for Saturday lunch. Looking like the proudest man in the land
because of the hand you were holding.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, remembering her small,
white hand against his massive, tan one as they danced to
“Woman.”

“She know that?”

“I didn’t actually say the words…”

“Probably should’ve, son.”

Lars nodded. He probably should’ve, but what
good would it have done? She had already made up her mind to
go.

“Maybe she’ll come back as she says.”

“No guarantees now.”

“Lars, wouldn’t have been any guarantees if
she’d stayed either.”

“But, she would’ve been
here
. We
would’ve had a chance.”

“And now you don’t.”

“Feels like we don’t.”

His father sat back in his chair, folding
his fingers under his chin. “Sounds like giving up to me. Makes me
wonder how my son’s defining ‘love.’”

“What else am I supposed to do? Follow her
to New York?”

“I don’t have an answer for you. But, we
don’t live in covered wagon days. Last I checked, airplanes fly to
New York from Montana. Don’t they?”

“You’re saying visit her?”

“I’m saying airplanes fly to New York.”

“You’re saying not to give up.”

“I’m saying airplanes fly to New York. Full
stop.”

“It sucks.” Lars swallowed, nodding. “She
likes it here. She wanted to stay. She was the one, Pop. The only
girl I ever met who I hoped would stay. Only city girl I ever met
who not only considered it, but seemed to want it.”

“Sounds like a girl who’s worth waiting
for.”

“She’s so goddamned complicated.”

“Lars—” he warned.

“Yessir.” Lars nodded his head in
apology.

“Love isn’t simple or cheap, son. That’s for
certain.” He leaned his elbows on the desk, and Lars looked up at
his father, at those ice-blue eyes that were the same as his. “But,
once you find what you want, there’s nothing really left to say.
Your Mamma? Half the time that woman drove me crazy. Still would’ve
died for her. You know, her kin didn’t want me for her. They were
book-reading people, like your Mamma. I was from the earth, like
you…”

Lars watched his father’s eyes look away,
far away, distracted, remembering.

“It was complicated, Pop?”

“She was worth it,” he whispered with
feeling.

His father took a deep breath, and gave his
son a sad smile. “I hope
I
was. Spent our whole life
together keen to be worthy of that woman.”

Lars stared at his father, not knowing what
to say too moved to say anything.

“I’ll do the drop-off,” Mr. Lindstrom said,
tilting his head to the side. “Headed to the park?”

“Thought I would.”

His father nodded and Lars stood up to go.
His father’s voice stopped him, but he didn’t turn around.

“Lars? Sometimes you have to lean into
‘complicated.’ Show it you’re not going anywhere. No matter
what.”