Self Destruct (4 page)

Aiden

Shit, that asshole wanted to take her to a wedding.  Three days ago he couldn’t run away fast enough, but it didn’t even take him a week to come to his senses.  I had to calm down. 

This girl
didn't and wouldn't belong to me.  I had Vanessa.  Why did that feel like an empty consolation?  Simple.  It felt that way because it was empty. 

Becca deserved to be happy, but why did he have to take her to a
fucking wedding?  Why couldn't she see how fast this guy was pushing this relationship? I had a week to...I don’t know...figure my shit out.

“You don’t really think he is wanting me to consider marriage and babies, do you?” Becca
asked, interrupting my inner monologue.  The color drained out of her face, and she looked really scared.  I thought girls dreamed about their weddings, and already had names picked out for their children before they left junior high. 

“I think
he wants to see how you fit in with his friends, so he can decide if you are someone he wants to get serious with,” I answered honestly.  It’s what I would do. 

“Toni?” Becca asked nearing panic.  “I don’t know Becca.  Maybe he wants to get serious, or maybe he just doesn’t want to be the only single guy there.
  I think you should go though.  You need to see where this is going.  But, after the wedding get your ass back here.  You will not sit around waiting for him to throw you another crumb.  Comprendes?”

“I do not wait around for crumbs.
But since I agree with you, I’ll come back,” she spit out.  I would rather she didn’t go at all, but at least she was coming back.  “I’ll just go call him back real quick and tell him I’ll go to the wedding.  Then I’ll join in on whatever it is you are planning,” she told Toni.

Maybe it
was better if she left.  I just hoped I didn't worry about her.  How did she worm into my life in little more than a day?  I looked to see if she was still in her room and turned to ask Toni a question.  “Is Jake a nice guy?  Will she be safe with him?” 

Toni cocked her head and stared at me like she was trying to add something up.  “What exactly is your interest here Aiden?  Yes, Jake
is a nice guy.  I’m afraid he's ready for things she isn’t, but that’s really not your problem.  Would your girlfriend approve of your concern for Becca?”

I smirked
, which I could see pissed her off.  Toni was a fighter, and very protective of her friend.  I liked that.  I held my hands up to show her I didn’t want to fight. 

“I think Becca is a nice girl, and I don’t want to see some guy take advantage of her innocence.  That’s all.”  Toni laughed, but it didn’t sound like what she was thinking about was actually funny.  “Becca is not as sweet and innocent as she seems.  She is more guarded than Fort Knox.  Unless you are really persistent you’ll never get past the image
she
wants you to see.”

“Do you think Jake is good enough for her?”  Why did I keep asking these questions?  “Sure.  He is smart, super hot, and always a gentleman.  You didn’t ask if I thought this was going to work out with them though.  The answer to that question is no.  Becca freaks out.  I think she’ll sabotage herself, or just stop answering her phone before he can get her to commit,” Toni explained.

“Why would she do that if she likes this guy?”  Becca got more complex the more I learned about her. Toni’s eyes danced with amusement.  “Well Aiden.  If you want the answers to those questions you are going to have to watch closely and be very persistent.  You probably won’t ever find out though,” Toni taunted.

I raised my eyebrow
in question.  “I guess you want to know why I said that.  Ok, you won’t find out because you will need to get very close to her to gain that level of trust. A level of closeness you will never get to as long as you have a girlfriend.  Understand?” 

I nodded my head, but dammit if I wasn’t even more fascinated now.  What skeletons could such a sweet person have in their past?

Rebecca

Friday came around very quickly.  Toni forced me to go shopping for what she called “essentials". The essentials were slutty underwear and a new outfit for the wedding.  The outfit, an emerald green cocktail dress and strappy-heeled sandals, was a very important purchase. Personally, I could have done without the slutty underwear.  In any case, I had no intentions of displaying it.

Toni and I
continued to hang out with Aiden and his friends during the week before the wedding, but I successfully evaded being alone with him.  Oddly he seemed only try harder to find chances to get me alone.  Weird, but it made me think he was serious about being friends.  I could always use another friend.

I grabbed the garment bag from my closet and a small duffle bag.  I
opened the trunk of my “mom car," as Toni lovingly called my square shaped and boat sized sedan.  Hey, I’m not one to look a free car in the mouth. 

“Hey, ready to head out?” a low voice
rumbled behind me.  Aiden.  My belly flipped and filled with butterflies.  Nope. I definitely planned to ignore that reaction. “Yeah, in a couple of minutes,” I answered as casually as possible. 

Looking at Aiden still knocked me for a loop.  I couldn't find an accurate description for him: g
orgeous, hot, studly, none of those words were adequate. 

I was
knocked stupid the first time I saw him, which honestly surprised me because he wasn’t my usual “type”.  I always went for the boys with dark hair and dark brooding eyes. 

Aiden
, on the other hand, had sandy blonde hair with deep sun-bleached highlights.  And his eyes, good lord, I didn’t know eyes could be navy with other colors of blue swirling around.  He was an athlete. It showed by the way his t-shirts played tug of war with hidden muscles. 

I allowed my mind to wander while I carefully,
maybe too carefully, stowed my bags.  I was pretty sure he knew what I was thinking about because he had a lazy smirk on his face.  I was learning that smirk meant he was thinking something dirty.  “Give me your phone,” Aiden demanded holding out his hand. 

I raised an eyebrow confused by his odd request
, but it seemed innocent enough, so I handed him my phone.  His fingers flew over the touch screen.  A few more swipes and a chime sounded from his back pocket.

“There now you have my number, and I have yours,” he
grinned.  I pursed my lips. “Ok, friends have each other’s numbers.”  “Of course.  Sometimes friends even send dirty pictures and naughty texts,” Aiden winked. 

“Mmm…true.  Toni and I are constantly texting pictures of ourselves in our underwear.”  “Really?” his voice croaked.  I laughed loud
ly.  “Sure, it’s what we do between naked pillow fights.”  “I do recall seeing a sexy pillow fight a few days ago," he replied. 

Aiden’s face turned serious.
“All joking aside I wanted to make sure you had my number. Just in case.”  “Just in case what?” I asked.  “An emergency, boredom, whatever.  I want you to promise me something.” He watched me closely, searching for my reaction.  “Well, that depends on what you want me to promise,” I teased trying to lighten the mood.

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.  “Promise that if something happens.  If
this guy treats you badly you'll call me.”  “I’m not sure if that is a promise I can keep Aiden.  It sounds sort of like you are offering to be my knight in shining armor, but you aren’t available for that.  But, I can promise if something goes wrong I will call for help if I need it.” 

“Ok, but just call me a few times and let me know how you’re doing.  Right or wrong I’m going to worry about you.”  I nodded yes, and feeling really bold, I kissed him on the cheek.  “I’ll see you in a couple of days,” I
said stifling a giggle.

I found myself missing Aiden and Jeremy the further I drove from the lake.  Jeremy was hilarious, and a compulsive flirt. 

It was funny to watch girls swoon over his jet-black hair, ice blue eyes, and underwear model physique.  He was also kind, patient, and protective of his friends.  I had many moments of comedic relief this week watching what Aiden called the “damn sorority girls” vie for Jeremy’s attention.

Yesterday the ringleader pressed her surgically enhanced body against Jeremy’s back in a sneak attack.  She started rubbing herself against him like a cat.  I kept waiting for her to start purring. 

The five interchangeable girls seemed to be irritated by his lack of interest, and strove to outdo the each other.  Jeremy wasn’t really
out
completely, and he didn’t want to tell them he was gay.  His close friends and family knew, but he didn't want to make a big thing about it at school.  He only told people he knew well.

I noticed his distress and decided to r
escue him.  I cleared my throat to get her attention.  “Would you mind removing yourself from my man?” Jeremy smiled with relief. 

“Hey babe, I didn’t see you come over.”  He tossed his arm over my shoulder, and I snuggled in.  I thought what the hell, might as well bring it home. 

I grabbed the neck of his t-shirt and brought his mouth down to mine.  I had to give him credit.  He caught on quick and started kissing me back.  He propped me up to straddle his waist and carried me into their cabin. He kissed me like he wanted me naked.

He slammed the door, and I climbed down from him.  “Damn girl, I think I w
ent straight for a minute there.”  “Well, I enjoyed it too.  You have some serious skills Jer.”  “Thank you for saving me from sorority Barbie.”  I smiled at him and then we both burst out laughing until we had tears running down our faces. 

“Jer, I think we just had a bonding experience,” I said bumping shoulders with him.  “
Do you think this is the start of a beautiful friendship?” Jeremy teased.  “Most definitely,” I agreed.

The drive to Port Orchard went quickly with memories of my new friends keeping me company.  My doubts and fears didn’t emerge until I exited the freeway into town.  I pulled into the hotel
where Jake had already reserved me a room, and called him to let him know that I made it.

Jake and I spent the evening together. 
And by spent the evening I mean in a strictly PG sense.  He introduced me to some of his friends, and took me to a few of his favorite teenage hangouts.  It was fun, relaxed and friendly.  Yep, not romantic, just friendly.  Around ten Jake took me back to the hotel.  He walked me to my door, and kissed me, on the top of the head.  On. Top. Of. My. Fucking. Head. 

I paid extra attention getting ready
for the wedding.  I wanted some sort of a reaction from Jake.  Hell I got a stronger reaction from Jeremy, and I knew that would never happen. 

I curled my hair into smooth soft waves that hung down my back.  I paid careful attention to my make-up, playing up my large green eyes and bow shaped lips.  My green dress had a sweet heart neckline, and tucked in at the waist.  The color accentuated my auburn hair and porcelain skin.  I knew I looked good, but a little confirmation couldn’t hurt.

I grabbed my phone and took a picture of my reflection.  I usually hate these kinds of pictures, but this one turned out hot.  Before I could think about it too much I hit send.  Jake’s knock on the door covered up the ping that signaled a response.

Aiden

Wow, just
yeah, wow.  That dress was hot. I scrubbed my hand across my face trying to wipe away dark thoughts.  There was no way her date wasn’t going to try and advance their relationship with her looking like that. 

I kept telling myse
lf to calm down.  I told myself she was coming back to me, except she wasn’t, not really.  She wasn't because she wasn't mine, and by tonight she might be his.  But I had her attention right now.

Me: You are killing me Becca.  I think I’m going to make this my new wallpaper.

Becca:  You asked for it, remember that.

Me: I asked for dirty pictures, but after seeing you in that dress I don’t think I can handle it.  Not that I would complain if you sent me a picture of yourself in your new “slutty” underwear.

Becca:  Toni is so dead.  Tell her to run when she sees my car.  Is this your idea of a friendly conversation?

Me: I’m being very friendly.  How is the wedding?  Is he treating you right?

Becca:  The wedding is fine.  I don’t really know anyone.  I kinda feel like arm candy.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

Me:  Just fine?  Isn’t lover boy paying attention to you?  He isn’t being a dick is he?
What is happening tomorrow? I thought you were coming back here.

Becca:  Calm down cowboy.  I will be back tomorrow.  Honestly I’m bored out of my mind.  Jake is extremely polite, but I got a bigger rise out of Jeremy the other day than I have out of
Jake since I got here.  And yes, pun intended.

Me:
I don’t really like the image of you trying to get a “rise” out of anyone.  I think I hate this guy. Wait how did you get a “rise” out of Jeremy? 

Becca:
Ah, long story.  Let’s just say the guy that ends up with him is LUCKY!  Hey tell him I’d gladly save him from a skank any day.  The service is starting.  TTYL.

“Jeremy!” I shouted, irrationally pissed.  “Dude not so loud,” Jeremy responded.  I shoved my phone at him and he read through our texts.  “Holy shit that girl is hot!” Jeremy exclaimed. 

“Not the picture ass, read the texts,” I demanded.  I watched his face as he read through my exchange with Becca.  He looked up at me curiously, but kept whatever he was thinking to himself. 

When h
e scrolled down to the bottom he started howling with laughter.  “Explain this please,” I snapped.  “Relax Aiden.  You really need to figure this shit out.  You're acting like a jealous possessive asshole.  You. Have. A. Girlfriend.  Vanessa, remember her?  If you want Becca, dump Vanessa. If you choose Vanessa, then leave Becca alone." 

Jeremy clapped his hand on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.  "I don't know why you keep torturing yourself with Vanessa.  You were dumb kids.  Shit happens.  Just because your mom and her parents are so gung ho about the two of you getting married doesn't mean you have to do it.
”

“I hear you ok?  I still want to know what this is about,” I spoke through clenched teeth.
  “One of those sorority bitches was trying to dry hump me out in front of our cabin.  I tried to pry her off of me, but she was persistent.  Becca came up and demanded that she ‘get off her man’." 

Jeremy chuckled. "
You should have seen the girl’s face when Becca grabbed my t-shirt and kissed me.  I picked her up and kissed her stupid all the way inside to make her think we were having a passionate reunion.  Shit man, I’m not into chicks, but I got a little hard during that kiss.  You know, if you aren’t going to break up with Vanessa maybe I should give Bec another go.  Perhaps I’m just a one woman man.”

“Do I have any friends she is safe from being molested by?” I asked no one in particular.  Jeremy shook his head laughing.  “Now that she kissed me?  Hell no.  I might not have been all the way into it, but it felt great.  Too bad she has such big tits, they kinda ruined the whole thing for me.”  “Fuck,” I growled.

Jeremy slapped me on the back.  “Figure this shit out.  I really don’t want to see her hurt by your indecisiveness.” 

He was right.  I was a supreme bastard.  I felt like ripping one of my best friends apart for kissing a girl I had no claim to.  I hate a guy I’ve never met for getting to see her in that dress.  I needed to find some answers.

I went to my contacts and pulled up a number I haven’t called as much as I used to.  “Hey Vanessa,” I said when she answered.  “Oh…uh…hey baby.  I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today,” she said quickly.  I cringed. I hated when she called me baby.  Babies aren’t sexy.  It’s emasculating. 

M
uffled voices in the background told me she definitely wasn’t alone.  “Am I interrupting something?”  Vanessa sighed loudly.  “Do we have to do this right now?” 

“If not now
, when Vanessa?”  “Look Aiden, don’t pull this wounded bullshit on me.  You're no angel.  I have no delusions you are faithful.  Don’t be a hypocrite.”  “If we can’t expect each other to be faithful, then what the hell are we doing pretending to be a couple?” I snapped. 

“Don’t be stupid.  You know us being together is expected. 
We've embarrassed our families enough don't you think?" 

I groaned. It always came down to the same argument.  I said our relationship was bent, and she told me to deal because I owed her.  How long did I have to pay for one stupid night?  Could I really marry her?  I was suffocating talking to her.  There was no way I could do this forever.

Vanessa realized I wasn't going to answer her, and started talking again.  "We will pick up where we left off once we are together again full-time.  The long distance thing is just too hard.  Who cares if we amuse ourselves on the side right now?  As long as it isn’t serious what’s the big deal?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to force back an impending headache. 
“I don’t think I can do this anymore Vanessa.”  “Come on now Aiden, let’s not talk about this until we see each other in December.  My parents expect you to come skiing with us.” 

“I don’t know about that.  I can’t keep going like this,” I said in defeat.  “Aiden, I didn’t want to say this, but you owe me.  You can’t abandon me around my family.  I’ve suffered enough because of you.  You promised to stand by me.  I’m going to hold you to that promise,” Vanessa threatened. 

It was always threats and guilt trips with her.  One mistake, and my mom and her parents expected me to pay for it forever.  I'm not even sure why I went along with it this long.  No, that isn't true.  My guilt buried me.  Never mind the fact our mistake was resolved years ago, and not likely to be undone.  They still played me with my own conscious.

“You don’t care about how this situation is hurting me. You never have.   I know you have a boyfriend there.  I barely saw you when I visited this last time.  Not to mention the hickeys you wore so proudly when you picked me up from the airport.
"

I took a deep breath and forced out the rest.  "
I’m sorry for everything that happened in the past, but we have to face the truth.  We haven’t been an
us
for a very long time.  We were barely an
us
in high school.  I’ll tell your family if you want, but I can’t do this anymore.  Good bye Vanessa.”

"If you think that is the end of this..." I hit end before she could say another word.  The time for self-flagellation because of teenage stupidity was over.  I hung up feeling lighter and more hopeful than I had in a very long time.  Now hopefully Becca won’t go and get herself a boyfriend.