Shattered Heart: The Donnellys, Book 3 (13 page)

“Totally over the moon and back. His freaking eyes follow you no matter where you are in the room, Cyn. And not in a creepy way, but in a more swoony kind of way. It’s sickeningly sweet,” Celia said.

Cyn couldn’t help the smile that came. Did he really stare at her like that? The idea birthed a flurry of romantic feelings in her belly. “Damn.” Unable to wrap her head around the idea, Cyn blew out a breath as she leaned back on her hands. “I think what you’re all seeing is a man who’s in love with fucking me.”

Maiya snorted. “No shit, right? I know a little about that.”

“Gross, do not want to hear about you and my brother!” Angie held her hand in the air, laughing. “Kidding, kidding. I’m just jealous.”

“I’ve never had a woman look at me like that, even though I eat pussy like a champ.” Celia grinned.

“Oh my God, Celia.” Maiya laughed. “Get down wit’ yo bad self!” Maiya high-fived Celia.

“Gah, go easy, little sister!” Jesus, she loved Celia and fully accepted that she was gay but Celia was still her little sister and hearing about her sex life, no matter what her sexual orientation was, was sometimes…not easy. Cyn blew out a breath and rolled her eyes. “But since we’re now sharing so openly, the man rocks my world. I’m serious. The other day, I went to visit him at his mom’s house. Fuck, he was all sweaty and funky and I wanted to suck his cock so bad my mouth was watering.”

“And you wanted
me
to go easy? Fucking hell, Cynthia!” Celia fell back on the bed, laughing.

Angie scrunched up her face. “Okay, that’s really gross. No thank you to the ball sweat.”

“I know! God, I know.” Cyn groaned. “That’s precisely my point, Angie. I would never, I mean fucking
never
give a guy head who’s been sweating in his jeans all day. But with him? Yeah. Want it. Crave it. It’s a sickness.”

Maiya bent forward laughing too. “That is so awesome! It’s gross, but it’s awesome.” She straightened, fanning herself. “That’s some serious pheromone kind of stuff you’re talking about.”

“Exactly! So, what the fuck’m I gonna do? I feel like I’m like ruined for all men now. What if I never find that with anyone else? Or worse, what if—” Cyn held her hand up, “—hypothetically speaking of course, what if he turns out to be an asshole like every other guy prior to him because, hello?” Cyn raised her pointer finger and wiggled it. “Broken picker.”

Angie tilted her head to the side and frowned with a “don’t be stupid” expression on her face. “Yeah right. We’re talking about Shane Conlon here. High school football star turned U.S. Marine, who served his country for eight years, plus his contract work afterward. That man is loyal from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet.”

“Gotta say, I kinda agree with your sister.” Maiya brushed her hair out of her eyes.

Everything Angie said was true, except really, just because he was loyal to his friends and his country did not mean he would be loyal to her. It’s what happened to Cyn. Always.

Shane was a good guy, but still, shit happened and hearts got broken. The fact that Cyn was attracted to him was all the proof she needed. Shane would end up turning into king dickhead in the long run. There was just no way around it. “Doesn’t matter.”

Maiya jerked her chin. “How does it
not
matter?”

“Because it doesn’t.” Cyn climbed off the bed and straightened her shirt. “I’m not going to let my heart get any further involved.” She checked her lip gloss in the mirror. “Aside from that, Carlos keeps blowing up my phone like a freak from hell. And let’s just say he’s beyond ancient history in my book now.”

Celia sat up. “What’s he been saying?”

“Yeah. Spill.” Maiya moved beside Cyn.

Cyn glanced at her. “At first, he wanted to talk. But now, he just sends all these angry messages. He’s always had a temper.” Cyn waved her hand. “Whatever. I had to block him because it was getting excessive.”

Maiya leaned her hip against the dresser. “Define excessive?”

“Just a bunch of texts. I’m not worried about it.” Cyn shrugged one shoulder.

Another frown furrowed Maiya’s brow. “Let me get this straight. He’s got a temper and is actively harassing you.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Lots of guys have tempers. And technically because I blocked him he’s not harassing shit. Like I said, I’m not worried about it.” Cyn glanced at Maiya.

“I could totally kick his ass. I’ve been taking kick-boxing in Arizona.” Celia got off the bed and crouched in a defensive stance, fists raised in front of her. With a grin she straightened and moved to Cyn.

Cyn grinned at Celia. “You’re so cute.”

“Maybe you should be worried. And now my gut is in a knot. What if something goes down? What if he shows up at your house, like some freak, Cyn?” Maiya touched Cyn’s arm.

“He won’t. Seriously. So don’t worry. I don’t want you worrying while on your honeymoon.” Cyn clasped Maiya’s hand. “Everything will be fine.”

“Carlos might be an asshole, but he’s a harmless one. Sounds like a classic temper-tantrum to me. You won’t need to kick his ass, Celia.” With a chuckle, Angie got to her feet too. “Nothing’s gonna go down. At least not anything more than Cyn eating a gallon of ice cream on my couch after Shane leaves.”

“Ugh, you three. Killing me. No help. No help at all.” Cyn laughed and left the room.

Angie followed. “I’ll supply the ice cream and tissues. I think that’s a huge help.”

“Fine. I’ll try not to worry. Angie’ll hold down the fort, and when I get back, I’ll take the second shift.” Maiya followed them down the stairs.

“I leave in two days, but I’m only an hour flight away, so there’s that.” Celia hopped down the last steps.

“See? We’re helpful.” Angie grinned at Cyn.

“I’m not gonna need the ice cream.” When Cyn reached the entryway to the family room, she immediately caught Shane’s gaze and had to swallow past the lump that’d instantly formed in her throat. Cyn stopped short and turned to her sisters and Maiya. “Fuck. Make sure it’s Boom Chocolatta, okay?” she said to Angie.

“You got it.” Angie kissed Cyn’s cheek as she slid past her into the room with Maiya and Celia in tow.

Shane got to his feet and moved to Cyn, a smile on his face. “You about ready to head out?”

Not taking her eyes from his, Cyn ran her palm down his thick arm to his hand and clasped it. “Definitely.”

Shane bent and kissed her forehead before pulling her into the room. They made the rounds, saying their goodbyes to the large group. Ryan and Maiya were heading out in the morning to Paris and she pulled Maiya into an extra-special embrace. Cyn adored her sister-in-law and was beyond happy to have her as part of the family. “Take lots of pictures, okay? And please don’t worry.”

Maiya pulled away with a smile gracing her pretty face. “Will do on the pics. No promises on the worrying. Email me if you need to talk, okay?”

“Sure.” Cyn rolled her eyes with a small grin and stepped away.

There was no way in hell she’d email Maiya while she was on her honeymoon. Whatever happened, if anything, after Shane left she’d deal.

Chapter Twenty-One

C
yn passed Carlos’s car as she slowed in front of her home and pulled into the driveway.
What the hell is he doing here?
She threw the Jeep in Park and stepped out. Carlos was already out of his car, on his way up the drive approaching her. Cyn stopped at the back of the Wrangler and crossed her arms. “What do you want, Carlos?”

“Can we talk, please? I just want to talk to you, Cyn.” Sincerity blanketed his features and guilt started to rise, but Cyn pushed it away.

She blew out a breath and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I think you said everything that needed saying in your text messages.”

As Cyn turned to walk away, Carlos clasped her upper arm, halting her movement. “Baby, wait…”

She glared down at his hand, and then his face. “Let me go.”

He did as she asked, raising his hands in surrender. “I know I’ve been a jerk—”

“
That
is an understatement.”

“You’re right and…look, I’m sorry.”

Cyn crossed her arms again. There was no point in talking. There was nothing to debate…maybe if things were different—maybe if Shane weren’t in the picture, and maybe if Carlos hadn’t turned out to be a cheating bastard, she would’ve considered it.

Prior to Cyn catching Carlos cheating, she’d always taken him back, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Sorry isn’t good enough anymore.”

“Baby, please.” His voice cracked. “I know I fucked up big-time, but just please, give me five minutes. I’m begging you.”

Before she could control it, guilt rose hard and fast, lodging a lump in her throat.
Oh, Christ!
Cyn let out a sigh and looked away from the tears welling in his eyes. She’d loved Carlos, a whole lot. And even though he’d killed every shred of feeling she’d had for him, it broke her heart seeing someone hurting that she once cared about so deeply. “Fine.” Cyn pivoted and headed for the house. “You want coffee?”

“Coffee’d be great.”

Cyn stepped inside her entryway and headed straight for the kitchen. Carlos took a seat at her kitchen table and Cyn set the coffee pot up to brew. “I’ll be right back.”

He nodded and she left the room, heading for her bedroom. The hair on the back of Cyn’s neck prickled in some odd awareness—of what she didn’t know. The whole situation just felt off to her somehow.

Cyn knew without a doubt that anything Carlos had to say would contain nothing but contradictions and bullshit, but she’d hear him out this one last time. In the past, whenever she tried to end things with him, he’d eventually show up, tail between his legs, begging her to come back to him. Each time she’d grab hold of whatever bait he cast.

Cyn changed from her work clothes into a pair of faded jeans and plain white T-shirt. She took a moment to freshen up in the bathroom, and then made her way back to the kitchen. Each time he pitched his game, she believed—though she knew deep in her gut it was all a ruse—that he wanted her.

And true to his promises, things would smooth out between them again, but never for very long. The truth was, Carlos never wanted her. At least not in the way she wanted him. Their relationship was always, simply, a game to him.

She pulled two mugs from the cabinet and fixed them both a fresh coffee. Cyn brought them to the table, handed one to Carlos and took a seat across from him. “Okay, talk.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, cradling his mug in his palms. “I miss you.”

Cyn took a sip of the fresh coffee. She wasn’t going to tell him she missed him back—the truth was, she didn’t.

When she didn’t answer, he continued. “I know I fucked up, baby.”

She cringed, her skin crawling at his use of the endearment. “You said that already.”

“Guess I did.” He sipped his coffee. “Look, Cyn. That woman at my house…nothing happened. Now, I’m not saying it wouldn’t have, but bottom line is, nothing happened.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

He sat back. “Of course it matters.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m lost without you. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. God, I can’t think straight, Cyn.” He traced the rim of his cup. “You have to come back. I love you, Cyn.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake! Cyn had waited forever to hear him say those words to her. Had longed for them, especially while she cried herself to sleep at night in a mad state of confusion trying to figure out why he didn’t feel the way she did. Or why, if he didn’t feel the same, he wouldn’t let her go. “I waited to hear you tell me you loved me for what seems like forever.” She rested her fingers on his forearm. “And I appreciate you finally saying it.”

He looked at her fingers before placing his hand over hers. “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”

“Because there is.” She pulled her hand away. “It’s too late.”

“Is there someone else?”

“No.” She picked up her coffee mug. It wasn’t a lie, not technically anyway. In less than a week, Shane would be gone. Besides, it was none of Carlos’s business whether or not there was someone new in Cyn’s life or not.

Carlos sat back in his seat. “Whose blue SUV is that?”

What the flying fuck! “Spying on me, Carlos?”

“No. Not spying. I just came by a few times because I wanted to talk, but when I saw another car in the driveway I figured you had company. So, who is it?”

Cyn debated what to say to him as she sipped her coffee. The remorse that’d been present in his expression a moment ago was now gone, and in its place was a look of smug satisfaction. The bastard thought he’d caught her. Cyn nodded. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s a very old friend of my family.”

“He or she?”

“Okay—” Cyn set the cup on the table, “—I think we’re done talking.”

“Wait!” He blew out a breath. “Dammit, fine. I just don’t understand how you can just walk away. Please don’t walk away, baby.”

Ugh!
Cyn’s skin crawled with disgust. How in the hell did she ever love this man? “You cheated on me. Just because I got there before you fucked that chick, does not mean it doesn’t count. You had every intention of sticking your dick in that woman. And I’m sure you sealed the deal after I left your place that night.” She stood. “I’m done. This is done, Carlos.”

He got to his feet. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. How can you do this?”

“Well, believe it.” Cyn took her mug to the sink and then faced him again. “I think we’re done talking.”

“You ruined my life, Cyn. Fucking ruined it!” Carlos swiped the mug off the table and it crashed onto the floor, smashing into pieces.

“You asshole!” Cyn ran toward him and pointed in his face. “Get the hell out of my house!”

“You’re right, we’re done fucking talking. For now.” He stalked out of the room.

Cyn followed after him and slammed, then locked the door after he left. In a huff, she moved back to the kitchen, grabbed the trashcan and knelt in front of the broken mug. Careful not to cut herself, she picked up the bigger pieces and tossed them in the trash, and then grabbed the dustpan and swept up the rest.

Grateful Carlos had just about finished his coffee, she wiped up what little liquid was on the floor. As Cyn got to her feet, she looked up, to find Shane standing in the kitchen. A chill zipped down her spine and she jumped— “God dammit, you scared me!”

“Whoa, sorry. Guessing you didn’t hear me come in.” Shane moved to her and pulled her into his arms. “You okay?”

She gazed up into his soft blue eyes. “Much better now.”

“You have an accident?”

“Broke a coffee mug. One of my favorites too.” She pouted. There was no way she was going to tell him about Carlos—especially that he’d been the one to break the mug in one of his little fits. Shane would kick into alpha-male-overdrive mode, and probably go after Carlos, and that was the last thing any of them needed.

“Aw, that sucks.” He stroked her pouty lips with the pad of his thumb. “We’ll just have to go get you a new one.”

Cyn smiled and tipped her head back. “How about you just kiss me until I forget all about the mug?”

“Whatever you need, Cyn.” Shane bent his head and covered her mouth with his.

His sweet taste washed through her, and all thoughts of Carlos and broken mugs vanished into thin air. Shane was by far the best medicine she’d ever had. And he was leaving.

Cyn closed her eyes tighter, willing the sad thought away. She didn’t want to think about him leaving so she deepened the kiss and pressed her body tight against his big strong one. Right now he was in her arms, and that was just going to have to be good enough.