Shifting Gears (Crossroads Series Book 2) (11 page)

Rod turned away from Nick, hoping his thoughts didn’t show on his face.

“That sucks. Want me to fire him?” Bryce asked and Rod rolled his eyes.

“No.” He knew Bryce wouldn’t anyway.

“I’m glad because he’s good as hell at what he does. I guess it’s good that he couldn’t come today though.”

“What?” Rod sat straight up from the way he’d been leaning back on their couch. “You invited him?”

“Yeah.” Bryce nodded. “He seemed interested but then he remembered he had something to help his sister with.”

“Bryce can you come help me with something in the kitchen?” Nick asked.

“Uh oh,” Christi added.

That piece of shit, immature asshole. Was Landon avoiding him? “Did he remember the sister thing before or after you told him I was coming?”

“Um…” The look on Bryce’s face said he was starting to put two and two together. “I…can’t…remember…?”

Murder was looking more and more like a possibility. Landon went on and on about how messy people were and yet he was the one who didn’t have the balls to even be in the same room with Rod because what? They’d seen each other naked? The guy was a real piece of fucking work. “Never mind. You don’t have to say anything. I already know the answer.” Rod changed the subject. “I’m hungry. When are we going to eat?” Nick, Bryce, and Christi looked back and forth between the three of them, and Rod felt like that kid he’d been when he was growing up, the one who was left out of things.

***

Landon sat on the living room couch, his mom in the chair. She was watching some crazy reality TV show that didn’t look like any kind of reality he knew or wanted to know.

“What is it with this stuff? Why do you like it?” he asked and she shrugged.

“I don’t know. I guess it’s fun seeing people who are more screwed up than I am.” His mom winked at him.

“You’re not screwed up.”

But she had been before. Maybe she would be again. Landon himself was screwed up. Maybe everyone was.

“You’re sweet, Lando, but we all know I have my problems. Most people have problems, but things feel good now. You never know what the future holds.”

He jerked slightly when his phone buzzed in his pocket. The only people who called or texted him were Shanen, his mom, and Rod, but then Rod had stopped since Landon was such a prick and didn’t talk to him the way he used to.

He pulled it out of his pocket and wasn’t surprised that it was Rod’s name on the screen.

Get your ass to my house, or I’ll show up at yours. We both know you don’t want that.

“Fuck,” he groaned quietly. His mom looked at him with a brow raised.

“Problem?”

“No. Rod just needs my help with something. I’ll be back in a bit.” There wasn’t a part of him that thought Rod wouldn’t show up at his house, even if he had to break into the shop and steal Landon’s address from his file.

His mom smiled. “No rush. I might head out to take care of something this evening. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She winked at him and he could do nothing but close his eyes and shake his head.
Jesus, his life was odd.

“He’s only a friend.”

“You’re boring.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime!”

Coming.
Landon texted back. And the truth was, he wanted to go. He missed spending time with Rod. But he also still stood firmly by the belief that they were friends, and they shouldn’t fuck around. Look what had happened already. Sure it was Landon’s own damn fault, but that didn’t change the fact that it happened. Fault wasn’t always what mattered, and he knew himself well enough to know he’d get itchy feet and run.

He had to find a way to make Rod understand that…and not lose him. Jesus, he didn’t want to lose their friendship.

I’m too pissed to make a joke about that. Thanks for fucking up my sense of humor.

Landon chuckled. The man was definitely insane. He grabbed his stuff before going out and climbing on his bike. He let it idle for a second as he latched his helmet. Kickstand up, he backed out of the driveway and then pulled away.

He knew this had something to do with the get together at Bryce’s house. He’d probably mentioned that he invited Landon, and that he’d decided not to come.

Twenty minutes later he was at Rod’s place. He put his bike on the stand, and was pulling his helmet off his head as he walked to the door. Landon held his hand up to knock when it pulled open.

Fucker. He was wearing the eyeliner. Why did he have to wear the eyeliner?

Flashes of their last night played in his head—Rod laid out on the bed, the dildo in his ass, the feel of his mouth as he sucked Landon’s fingers into it, cleaning him up.

The taste of Rod on his tongue as well.

Rod stood in the doorway, one hand on the jamb and the other on the door, blocking Landon’s entrance.

“Oh, nice of you to show up. You really fucking ditched Bryce and Nick’s house because I would be there? Is this high school? Two adults can’t be in the same room with each other after they screwed around and got each other’s cooties?”

Well…when he said it like that… “Can I come in or not?” Landon pouted.

“I don’t know. Are you sure you can handle it? I mean, I’ve seen your dick. I think that means we’re supposed to pull each other’s hair and call each other names.”

Rod was right, and he felt like a fucking idiot for it. “I can pull your hair if you want. Might be fun.”

Rod gave him an evil eye. Apparently now wasn’t the time for jokes. Landon let out a deep breath. “Just…just let me in. There’s something I want to tell you.” Something he’d never talked to anyone else about, but he knew he needed to share it with the man standing in front of him right now.

Landon looked to be wrestling with a hundred different emotions. His mouth was tight, those sexy eyes that Rod loved, heavy-lidded. There was a part of Rod that wanted to tell him
fuck it.
He didn’t need to know whatever Landon wanted to talk about as long as the guy pulled his head out of his ass.

But then there was another part of him, maybe a selfish part, that wanted any piece of Landon that Landon would give him. Rod liked spending time with him, liked talking to him. There was no two ways about it. He just plain liked Landon.

Rod stood back and signaled for Landon to come inside. “Do you want a drink?” he asked while closing the door.

“Nah, I’m okay. Thanks.” Landon pulled off his motorcycle jacket and set it on the small table in the dining room before heading straight for the living room. He looked comfortable here. He should be, Rod guessed. He’d spent enough time in Rod’s home before his meltdown.

He followed Landon over, both of them sitting on the couch before he looked at Landon, waiting for him to speak.

Landon rubbed a hand over his face. “Say something funny. This feels ominous. It’s going to be anticlimactic when I tell you what I have to say. I’m a grown-ass man. I should be over this shit.”

Rod wasn’t so sure about that. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have his own demons. “I’m not sure it matters how old you are. If something affects you, it affects you. No one has the right to say how long or in what way other people are allowed to feel things. Our emotions are our own.” Rod shook his head. “Wow. I sounded really insightful just now.”

Landon chuckled and Rod smiled.

He reached over and squeezed Rod’s knee, and that small movement felt so fucking intimate, it nearly stole his breath.

“Thank you,” Landon told him.

“No problem.”

“I missed you, ya know.”

His pulse ran wild. Jesus, had anyone told him they missed him before? “I missed you, too.”

Landon pulled his hand away and Rod wanted it back.
Nope. Need to cut out those kinds of thoughts. Right. Fucking. Now.

“I’m just going to spit this out and stop being so fucking dramatic about it.” Landon leaned back against the couch. “My parents had a…what you call a rocky relationship, I guess. They weren’t very good at hiding it from Shanen and me. I’m not sure they were very good at hiding it from anyone. They fought about everything, all the damn time. We both knew they’d been good friends before, the best of friends. They slept together one drunken night and Shan was the result of that. They never should have been together, but they tried because of her, then me soon after her.”

“Not your fault,” Rod told him.

“I know. Logically, I do, but knowing it doesn’t always change things.” He sighed. “Anyway, they were off and on, back and forth all the fucking time. When they were off, it was always about one hurting the other, showing that they didn’t need them, and then deciding they did and they’d be back together again. It was a fucking disaster. Not to mention how hard it was on Shanen and me.”

He nodded, getting a clearer picture of Landon’s past in his head.

“They were on one of their breaks—Jesus, is this a
Friends
episode? Anyway, they were on a break. My mom went out with another guy one night. There was a storm, and I freaked out being with Shanen alone. I called Dad, he came over, and Mom showed up with her date. She flaunted him, which was wrong, but he’d done the same thing to her. The guy left. They fought. Dad walked out, and I begged him, fucking pleaded with him to take me with him. He was my best friend. He taught me to ride motocross. I wanted to go with him, and he looked at me, told me to be good, and we never heard a word from him again. I was twelve. See? I told you, anticlimactic. How many people in the world have the same kind of story?” He sat back and sighed.

“And? What do their lives have to do with yours? You live your life and they live theirs. You can’t compare it.” Rod truly believed that.

“Thank you.” Landon shook his head, resting his elbows on his knees. “I used to think it was my fault. I called him. If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have happened. And then I was just fucking pissed. He left
us. He
left
me. I needed him, and he walked away from us like we were fucking nothing, Rod. He left us to hurt her. They both did too many things to count to hurt each other, but she stayed. Even when times were hard and we struggled, she stayed.”

Landon’s pain displayed clearly on his face. His thick lashes lowered when he closed his eyes and for the first time, Rod noticed how long they were, noticed the perfect curl to them.

“Mom struggled… Shan struggled. It was hard on them. I became the man of the house. He knew.” Landon leaned forward, his forehead resting on the palms of his hands. “He fucking knew he wasn’t coming back. I know it. I saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice, and I wanted to go… Even knowing that, I wanted to go. They were there when he wasn’t, and I wanted to leave them.”

Fuck. The pain in Landon’s voice nearly broke him apart. He ran his hand through Landon’s thick, dark hair. Then touched his knee, leaned his forehead on Landon’s shoulder. Landon’s father had left him. Rod’s had hated him. Weren’t they a fucking match made in daddy issues? “You were a kid. You loved him. No one can hold you responsible for that.”

Landon shook his head and sat up straight. “It is what it is. There’s no changing it. But seeing that? Living with the fighting and the back and forth, and knowing their history... That’s why relationships aren’t my thing. You just fuck people up by loving them.”

Rod wouldn’t know about that. He felt pretty fucked up by not being loved.

“Well, I’m on the pill, so we don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. There’s one concern out of the way.”

Landon’s head snapped up, his eyes pinning Rod. For just a second he wondered if he went too far, if this wasn’t the time to joke, but then there was a smile in Landon’s eyes. It teased the corners of his mouth too, and Rod wanted nothing more than to see it stretch across his face.

“You’re so fucking crazy.” And there was something in his voice… Something that if Rod didn’t know better, would sound like amazement.

“I’m so fucking serious. That’s one of the perks of gay sex—no unwanted pregnancies.”

Landon’s voice was calm, even when he said, “I’m serious.”

“So am I. When did you think I was asking you to fall in love with me? You said love fucks people up, but who’s asking for love? I’m not. I know you’re sure as hell not. I’m not quietly pining for you to fall in love with me. You’re sexy. We get along well. I think we could have fun in bed together. I want to fuck you, that’s all. I’ve never had someone so adamant not to sleep with me before. I’m starting to take it personally.” Rod crossed his arms, pretending to feel affronted.

“Shut up.” Landon nudged him with his elbow. “I was so fucking hard the other night, I thought I’d lose my damn mind. You have nothing to take personally. I want you. I want you so fucking bad that sometimes it takes everything in me not to strip you bare and fuck the hell out of you. But I like you more.”

Goddamn, hearing that nearly did him in. He wanted to ask Landon to say it again, all of it. How much he wanted Rod and how much he liked him, too. It was almost like he spoke a foreign language, one Rod couldn’t associate with himself. Not when it came to this man.