Authors: Ariana Hawkes
“It was because we cared about you, so much, that we never got in touch. Because we didn’t want to risk your safety.” She nodded.
“I understand that now.” She took her glasses off and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Then she gave a bark of laughter. “The rest of that year, I was in such a mess. I failed my end-of-year exams. It wasn’t until the summer holidays that I started to process everything and understand that you weren’t coming back.” Both men’s eyes were full of pain.
“I’m so sorry, Jessica,” Lucas said. “I hate the thought that you suffered like that because of us – actually, because of our parents. Even now, I don’t understand why it had to be such an urgent departure. I know it was because there was a real risk that our identities were going to be discovered. But snatching us away like that in the middle of the night? Please!”
“Did you manage to make up for failing that year?” Christian asked. Jessica nodded.
“Yes. I picked it up the following year, and ended up studying law at university.” They both grinned, impressed.
“You were always such a brainiac,” Christian said, punching her arm. Euphoria flooded her veins. She suddenly felt like they were all 14 again, sitting on the wall behind the bike sheds, teasing each other about who was the biggest nerd.
“And now you’re working for a shifter dating app. Some coincidence, huh?” Lucas said.
“Yeah, my auntie, Tamika, who owns the app met a werewolf in London, and moved over here with him. I was pretty shocked when I found out about shape shifters, but it’s normal to me now.”
“I wish we could have told you about us at school,” Christian said. “We wanted to, so many times. But our parents made us swear on
The Book
that we wouldn’t tell a soul.”
“The Book?”
“It’s like a written account of shape shifters that goes back many generations. Everyone has to swear not to reveal the secret to outsiders, or face deathly consequences. It’s serious shit.”
“It was like, we had all this angst, and we couldn’t share it with you,” Lucas said. “It was mental torture.”
“And then there were all those times when we got close to shifting right in front of you,” Christian cut in.
“Really?” Jessica said, trawling through her memory.
“Yeah, remember how often I had to rush off on an important errand that I’d only just remembered? It was really because I could feel my fur pushing against my skin, and I was freaked that something awful was going to happen,” Lucas said with a laugh.
“And I thought you were just really flaky,” Jessica said, elbowing him.
“I wish that had been the case. In a way, our parents did the right thing taking us to the US, where we lived among our own kind. Things got a lot easier. It was no big deal if we shifted in class or out on the street.”
“I can imagine. But what I can’t figure out is why two handsome guys like yourselves need the services of Shiftr.” Christian sighed.
“Our parents both want us mated with female weres. But it’s not working for either of us,” he said. “We’ve spent the last few years being forced to go on endless dates with the daughter of this or that alpha, while we’ve had human girlfriends in secret.”
“And then we heard about this app. We realized that it was a way to find a human mate, without having to betray the shifter secret. Our parents will be disappointed, of course. But we feel like we’ve given it long enough, and it hasn’t happened. And ultimately, we’ve got to find the mate that’s right for us.”
“That’s what we always tell our clients,” Jessica said, sitting up straighter and clearing her throat. “So let me show you how the app works. Pass me your phones.”
Christian and Lucas handed them over and she installed the app and passed them back.
“So I’ll try to show you both at the same time,” she said. She leaned toward Christian to point out the various features, and Lucas leaned in on her other side, so all their heads were close together. Her nostrils twitched as she picked up the smell of one and then the other, and a wave of nostalgia hit her. It was as if the perfume of her teens had been atomized into her brain. The intermingled smell of those two guys had informed every important experience she’d had from age 11 to 15. She was amazed that their smells hadn’t changed. They were still totally identifiable as them. In their teens they hadn’t had that funky old-sneaker smell, like a lot of guys in their class. They’d always smelled fresh and outdoorsy. Sporty yet clean. The smells from her teens weren’t Impulse body spray and Lush toiletries. They were these two guys and the places where they’d hung out together.
She showed them how to set up their profiles, and add photos.
“We ask for all of our members to include a shirtless body shot,” she said, echoing the words she’d heard Tamika say a hundred times. “An outdoor shot – maybe in a forest – usually works best. You can add one later if you don’t have any suitable ones in your photo reel.” Both guys flicked through their photos.
“I’ve got some indoor shots,” Christian said. Jessica craned her neck to get a better look, and her eyes opened wide. There were a whole series of Christian in a bedroom, lying on the bed or leaning casually against a closet, and his body was incredible. It was broad and taut, with huge, rippling muscles. They were intimate photos, most likely taken by a lover. Maybe after an extended lovemaking session. There was a strange tingle in the pit of her stomach.
“They’re good photos, but I don’t think they’d work,” she said quickly. “Tamika’s pretty clear about having outside photos as it better displays our clients’ animal nature.”
“No problem,” Christian said with an easy smile, running his hand through his hair. “We’ll get some taken later this afternoon back at our cabin.”
“Are you staying in the national forest?”
“Yeah. How did you know?” She shrugged.
“Just a lucky guess.”
“I just bought a place actually,” Lucas said. Jessica’s stomach flipped.
“So you’re serious about staying in Hope Valley?”
“Absolutely. As soon as I arrived a few weeks ago, I just knew this was where I wanted to settle down and find a mate.”
“And how about you, Christian?”
“I’m still renting. I’m pretty sure I want to live here too, but I want to make sure before I commit.” Jessica nodded. Despite his dominant character, Christian had always been the more cautious of the two guys, always assessing a situation before forming an opinion or making a decision. “Where are you living?”
“At Auntie Tamika’s, downtown. I’ll find my own place at some point, but her house is huge and she says I’m welcome to stay as long as I like.” She cleared her throat, becoming aware that they’d gone way off-topic. “Anyway, back to the app. So, when you’re done answering the personality questions here, you hit ‘process’, and the algorithm figures out which of the women on the app are most suited to you.”
“Neat,” Lucas said.
“It even gives you a compatibility rating,” she said, talking fast to conceal a wave of heat that had begun somewhere in her chest and was now tracing a path up to her cheeks. “Tamika always tells people to aim for a rating of 90% or better to give yourself the best chance of finding your ideal mate.”
“How long does it normally take?” Lucas asked.
“I don’t know. I think it varies. Some people seem to find their mate practically as soon as they fill out their details, while there are some that have been looking for months. You can’t rush these things, so Tamika says.”
Just then the office door banged open and Tamika hurtled back in.
“Over here,” Jessica called and she came over. “I’ve just finished signing these gentlemen up to Shiftr,” she said, watching Tamika’s eyes for signs of nerves, anxious that her aunt didn’t trust her. But Tamika looked delighted, her big expressive eyes shining with pride.
“Excellent. I’m Tamika,” she said, holding her hand out to the guys. They stood up and shook hands. “I’m very pleased to meet you. Are you new to Hope Valley?” Christian and Lucas gave a quick rundown of their situation and Tamika’s grin became even wider. “Well, I’m sure that you’ll be very happy here, and it won’t be long at all before we find a very special lady for each of you.”
They chatted a little longer, about their shifter families and Tamika’s background, and then they got up to leave. Jessica had drifted back to her desk while Tamika was speaking to them, feeling extraneous to the conversation. But as they left the office, she ran over and offered to escort them out.
“Jessica! We’re hanging out tonight, right?” Christian said the second they were alone together.
“Of course!” she said.
“We’ve got the last ten years to catch up on!” Lucas added. “Let me give you my number, and you can tell us where’s cool to go.”
“Great! See you around 8?”
“Perfect!” they said in unison, then laughed at each other.
“God. We’ll be finishing each other’s sentences before long,” Lucas said. “See you soon, Jessica. I can’t wait to hang out properly.” He pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight again.
“See you tonight, little one,” Christian said, hugging her too, his eyes bright with happiness.
Jessica watched as they disappeared down the stairs, and as soon as they were out of sight, she collapsed against the wall of the corridor, pressing her hands against her pounding heart. She was weak and shaky with emotions she couldn’t begin to separate and name. Her boys were back. Her best friends. Her confidantes. The two people she was closest to, in the whole world. She’d missed them so, so badly over the years, but had never in her wildest dreams thought that she’d see them again. The last couple of hours felt unreal. Lucas said that he thought he was dreaming, and that’s how she felt too. Like she was about to wake up in bed and realize that none of this had happened.
She let out a long breath, which hitched in her throat. How many years had she thought about them; agonized over their disappearance; wondered if something terrible had happened to them? She’d had to pretend to herself, like everyone else did, that they’d just changed schools. But it hadn’t worked, and the pain of not knowing had been unbearable. One day they’d been hanging out on the cricket field at school, on one of those perfect English days that were all too rare, but all the more perfect for their rarity, trusting that time was infinite, and that they’d always be best friends. And the next they were gone, without a word.
She’d underplayed how much the whole thing had affected her. She’d failed her exams, yes. But for a while she’d also fallen into a deep depression – grief, really – and hadn’t gone to school or even left the house for months. Her previously good relationship with her parents and teachers had become very strained, as she was furious with them, convinced that they knew more than they were saying. She’d been desperately lonely too. None of her other friendships came close to the intimacy she’d had with the boys. They’d been like the three musketeers, walking to school together, hanging out during recess and at lunchtimes, sitting together in class when the teacher allowed them to, then walking home together. They were a tight group that none of the other kids could penetrate. And then, overnight, all of that changed. Her phone never rang, and when she returned to school, she became a loner. She was a misfit, and that hadn’t mattered when she was with Christian and Lucas – they knew that they were lucky to have a real, genuine friendship, that wasn’t dependent on popularity. But when she was by herself, it became painful. She hung out with a couple of the other misfits, but they were superficial friendships, and they never went to each other’s houses, or chatted on the phone.
She’d only been able to come to terms with Lucas and Christian’s disappearance from her life by convincing herself that they were dead. Or not dead exactly, but existing on another planet. And now it was as if they’d come back to life. And they’d become men. She could still see traces of the boys that they’d been, in Lucas’ ready laugh and the unexpectedly cheeky grins that Christian flashed sometimes, but their youthful looks had matured into masculine brawn.
She was so happy to see them, to see how well they’d turned out, but there was another emotion bubbling beneath the surface too – something dark and negative. Was it anger, or something more like envy? She’d suffered so much not knowing where they were, and all the time, they were growing up together, having each other to rely on. She was ashamed to acknowledge it, but it was a tight, hard knot that sat deep in her stomach.
She took a deep, slow breath and blew it out through her nostrils. She just needed some time to get used to things. That was all. And Tamika must be wondering where she was. Pushing open the office door, she went back to her desk.
“Jessica! I should leave you alone more often,” Tamika trilled, walking over to her. But when she saw the expression on Jessica’s face, she stopped. “What’s the matter, my dear?” Jessica shook her head.
“Nothing. I just had a bit of a shock, that’s all. I actually knew those two guys from high school. We haven’t been in touch for years though, and I had no idea that they were bears.”
“They were at school with you in England?”
“Yeah. They’re both American. They lived in England from age five, but their parents took them back to the US in their teens.”
“When they were starting to shift?”
“I guess so.”
“Were you close?” Jessica shrugged.