SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror (10 page)

“Just run,” I mumbled to the girls, taking their hands. These people were starting to piss me off. We had six-year-olds with us. They could be seriously scarred by these pranks.

We held hands and ran up the aisle, past Ghostface, and out the doors.

“To the playground,” I ordered as we ran down the hall.

I was sure someone was just trying to trip us up. It wasn’t like there was a serial killer in the auditorium. But that didn’t mean I wanted to sit around and chit chat with the weirdo either. We had a treasure chest to win.

The playground was also pretty dark and empty. I was starting to wonder if we had been given a different list than everyone else. Or maybe every team had a different list.

We took pictures of the girls on the swing set and slide. When we turned to head back toward to school, Pumpkinhead, Ghostface, and a girl with long blonde hair who had on a mask from the movie,
The Strangers
, were all standing in front of the school. They each stood still with their hands clasped in front of them.

The girls screamed again.

“It’s just a joke,” I said to them quietly as we walked past them. “We have one more picture to get, and then we can go home.”

The last thing on the list was a picture of a team member with a scarecrow.

“There was a scarecrow outside the front door where we first walked in,” Cora whispered.

“Good thing my girls are all so observant,” I said, without thinking first.

She raised her eyebrows.

I could have taken it back. But the truth was I didn’t want to. I liked this foursome we had. I liked thinking of them,
both
of them, as my girls.

I smiled and hoped she got all that.

We ran around to the front of the school to find the scarecrow dressed in overalls and tied around a pillar. With a quick snap, we got our picture. Then we ran back into the gym.

“Are we going to win this, Daddy?” Olive asked as we ran.

I knew my train of thinking would probably have my man card suspended indefinitely, but I didn’t care if we won this game or not. I already felt like a winner. The most beautiful girls in this place were all on my team. I couldn’t lose.

“We might,” I told her.

We were not the first team to arrive back. We received our treasure map just moments after Vanessa’s team. At this point it was anyone’s game.

We unfolded the map the principal handed to us, and our four heads leaned in to look at it together. The hand-drawn, photocopied map showed the school’s layout. The X was near the front of the school, but it didn’t say which floor. It was either in the welcome office, or upstairs in the auditorium. When I saw Vanessa’s team running towards the office, we had no choice but to face the auditorium again to see if our treasure was there. Nobody argued with me as we ran up the staircase. We wanted to win this thing.

The plastic treasure chest
was
on the stage – right behind the three tormenters of ours who stood guarding it. Instead of hands clasped, they had arms crossed. It was pretty intimidating. Until one of them started laughing. It was an evil feminine laugh. I recognized it as a sound I heard nearly every time I dropped Olive off at school in the morning. The Mean Moms.

They all three started laughing and removed their masks to reveal their constipated faces. It was Shauna, Tabitha, and Melissa. I felt like I was in a real-life episode of
Scooby Doo
.

“It’s not as scary if you laugh,” I told them.

“I bet you guys were nearly shitting your pants,” Shauna said, her arms crossed against her chest again.

“Potty mouth!” Olive accused, pointing her finger at them.

There was about to be a standoff. I held up my arms in resignation.

“Thanks for the theatrics, ladies,” I told them. “You really added a nice haunting element to our scavenger hunt.”

“No. Thank
you
,” Shauna said. “Your pity-date gave us more entertainment than all of the games downstairs. It was so kind of you to take her out tonight.”

“The only people I pity around here are the three of you,” I said.

I heard the pounding of footsteps making their way up the stairs, and I knew we needed to get to the prize before Vanessa’s team arrived. It might turn into a bouquet-toss kind of brawl otherwise.

“I mean the four of you,” I said, gesturing behind me. “Now get out of our way.”

“It’s just a bunch of dollar store candy,” Melissa said with a roll of her eyes. “Have at it.”

I took a girl’s hand in each of mine and we approached the stage.

The Mean Moms scowled in the most exaggerated ways as they scooted over to let us by. I hoped their faces would get stuck that way. Or maybe they already were.

“Does this mean we won?” Lucie asked.

I shrugged. “I guess so,” I said. “Go on,” I told the girls. “Open it up.”

They opened it to find, as I expected, a bunch of candy. They also pulled out some things I wasn’t expecting: a restaurant gift card and a movie theatre gift card. When Olive handed me the cards, I stuck them in my back pocket.

“Should we take this to the car?” I asked.

“Yes!” the girls answered.

I carried the treasure chest as the four of us held our heads high and marched our way past the snotty faces of the Mean Moms. Their cat-eyes turned into angry slits.

“Boots with fringe? That’s funny. Didn’t fringe go out of style like two decades ago?”

“Those poor girls. Someone should seriously introduce them to Etsy before they are forced to wear store-bought costumes another year.”

“Nah. I just donated a bunch of my shoes to the Salvation Army last week. I think that’s enough charity for this year.”

“Oh, snap.”

Speaking of things that were out of style, I was pretty sure no one said, “Oh snap,” anymore.

I looked at Cora to see if she’d heard them. I knew by the expression on her face that she had. I would have taken her hand then, or touched her in some way to comfort her, but both hands were carrying the treasure chest. I did the next best thing and hip-checked her.

***

9:06 P.M.

The girls insisted
that the treasure chest be strapped into the back seat of the SUV with a seatbelt. Once it was secure, I looked at my watch. It was after nine, late for six-year-olds. We should probably call it a night. But I didn’t want to be away from Cora yet. And wasn’t it okay for kids to stay up a little later on special occasions?

I didn’t want to mention it in front of the kids in case she said no. I pulled out my phone and texted her.

BEN: Pizza?

She checked the phone and nodded. “Sounds great. I’m starving. We forgot to stop by the snack booths inside.”

“Let’s pick up a pizza and then head to my house to eat and divide up our treasure.”

“YAY!” Lucie yelled.

“PIZZA!” I heard from Olive.

“All right girls,” Cora said, “get in and buckle up if you want pizza.”

When I sat down in the passenger seat, I scrolled through the numbers in my phone to find my favorite pizzeria. Yes, I had it saved in my phone. I was a single dad who only knew how to cook about three meals. I had more restaurants than people in my phone’s contacts.

I leaned my head back on the headrest and turned to face Cora. “I have to ask you an important question.”

“Yes?”

“Do you like pineapple on your pizza?”

“Of course.”

“Does Lucie?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

***

9:45 P.M.

The four of
us sat at my dining room table to eat and sort the candy. The pizza disappeared quickly. We’d all been so hungry after our treasure hunt.

We divided all of the candy into two even piles. When we had an odd number, we compromised with no arguing. We took an extra KitKat, but they got an extra Almond Joy. Everyone was happy and full, and probably pretty candied out since we’d been eating some as we sorted.

When the candy was in order, Olive asked Lucie if she wanted to watch
Frozen
. Of course she did. The two girls went into the living room. My guess was they’d both be asleep in less than ten minutes.

We were alone. Sort of. But Cora couldn’t seem to look at me. She’d been acting really shy since we’d gotten to my house.

“So,” I asked cautiously, “is there a reason you‘re having a hard time looking at me?”

She looked alarmed at first. Then she just laughed. “No reason,” she answered with a slight smirk.

“You sure?”

She shrugged. “It’s possible that I had a dream about your dining room table once.”

Okay. I wasn’t expecting something
that
good. But I wasn’t going to complain about it. “Did you want to tell me more about this dream?”

She shook her head and pursed her lips together tightly, probably to keep them from blurting anything out. It was probably for the best. If she said anything naughty I was going to want to bend her over the table. Who was I kidding? I already wanted to. Oh shit. Change of subject needed immediately if I ever wanted to be able to stand up from this table.

“Maybe some other time?” I asked, hopefully.

She nodded firmly. “Yes. Definitely.”

I pulled the two gift cards from my back pocket and held them up. “What about these?” I asked.

“What are they?” Cora asked. “I didn’t get to see them at the school.”

“A restaurant gift card and a movie gift card.”

I was hoping she’d say we should use them together. She didn’t.

“We could each take one,” I suggested. “We could even draw them out of a hat to make it fair.”

She shrugged. “Sure. Whatever you want. We will be fine with either one.”

“What I want… is for us to use them … together.”

She smiled. “We could do that.”

“When?” I asked eagerly. “We could go tomorrow night before I take Olive to her mom’s. Or we could wait until Thursday when she comes back over.”

“Tomorrow is perfect.”

“Good. I really didn’t want to wait until Thursday to see you guys again.”

I heard music coming from the TV in the living room. “For the First Time in Forever.” I could relate.

The kids were asleep. I could hear Olive snoring. Cora got up from the table and took our glasses to the sink to rinse out the Sprite we drank with our pizza. I got up, too, and took the paper plates and napkins to the trash. I set the empty pizza box on the counter and leaned against the stove.

I didn’t want her to go yet.

“Hey, Cora,” I said timidly.

She turned around from the sink. It reminded me of that night, when I came upstairs to find her in the kitchen.

“If you want to stay and hang out for a little while,” I said, “I’ve got some cherry Kool-Aid in the fridge.”

She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment. First I thought she might be pissed, then I realized she was just trying to figure me out.

“You remember,” she said quietly.

I stepped closer to her. I stopped when I our chests were just an inch or two from touching. “Remember?” I repeated. “How could I forget?”

She tried to back away before she remembered her back was already against the counter. “I need to ask you something, Ben.”

That didn’t sound good. It sounded like the beginning of a very serious talk, one that I didn’t think was necessary this early into the game. But it was the first time I’d heard her say my name, and it gave me a chill in the best way. I was curious to hear this question. “What’s that?”

With her hands on the counter behind her, her guard was down, and her body was completely open to me. She didn’t look down the way she had that night long ago, but looked right into my eyes instead. “When you go to the grocery store, do you take a list?”

I smiled, surprised at how flippant the question was after all. “Are there people who don’t?”

“I’m afraid so.”

I laughed at her serious face. “I wouldn’t think of it.”

She nodded. “Good. That’s good.”

I slid my hand under her hair and wrapped it behind her neck. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” I said, “I’m going to kiss you.”

Halloween 2019

Feed the kids a
healthy
breakfast – Check.

Get Jamin in his Yoda costume
without a tantrum
– Check.

Look over Lucie’s costume to make sure she isn’t showing too much skin or looking too risqué – Check. P.S. She’s only eleven! Why is this even an issue already? I’m really not ready for this…

Drop Jamin off at preschool – Check.

Get Lucie to school
on time
– Check.