SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror (12 page)

“As for that revealing costume…I have to warn you, I’m a little curvier these days.” I slide his hand over my hip and then up to cup my breast, hoping he thinks the idea of that isn’t all bad.

“Are you kidding me? You know how much I love your curves. You’re going to be the sexiest Wonder Woman ever,” he says with a happy sigh. There’s a sincerity in his tone that makes me love him even more.

I lean my cheek against his chest and listen to his heart pound. I love that after all this time I can still get him worked up so easily.

When his hand slides down to my ass and he squeezes it lovingly, I cringe that he has so much to grab onto.

There’s no way around it… Zumba class, here I come.

***

Several weeks later
I’m returning from my Saturday afternoon errands and grocery run when I notice a collection of neighbors in front of our house. I stop my car and lean my head out the window hoping to see what several of them are pointing at. When my gaze settles on the addition to our roofline I let out a long sigh.
Metropolis
. I forgot it was being installed today.

I park the car and get out, planning how I’m going to do damage control. Is there some kind of big-brother community policy against adding weird stuff to our house that we didn’t know about? It’s not like we painted the house hot pink or something. I stop and study the addition more thoughtfully. It’s handsome, rather art deco and design-y. Maybe we’ll just leave it up after the party. That’ll show ‘em.

Mr. UCLA guy with his poodle on a leash is scowling. This from the man who hangs school banners all over his house when there’s a big game. I pull back my shoulders and prepare for battle.

When I step up to the group, our next door neighbor Brian grins. “Is someone visiting from Planet Krypton?”

“How’d you guess?” I tease back.

“Planet what?” asks Mrs. Rogerson, the sweet old lady from across the street who now looks a little alarmed.

I give her a warm smile. “He’s joking, Mrs. Rogerson. It’s a reference to Superman.”

“Dearie, is that why there’s a doll hanging off of it?” she asks.

I cup my hand over my brow to shield the sun and look up at the structure. “What doll?”

She hands me her binoculars and points to the right. “The one dangling off the thing in the back.”

I take the binoculars and hold them up, wondering the entire time what else Mrs. Rogerson watches through these things. I have to scan and focus before I see what she’s referring to. A Superman doll the size of a Ken doll is extended from a wire off the main structure.  Wow. Nathan isn’t holding back with the decorations…not even a little bit.

“That’s Superman. He’s flying around Metropolis,” I say as I hand the binoculars back.

“I told you!” Brian says, smirking at Mr. UCLA.

“Cool,” says Derek, our teenage neighbor who’s going to pass out the candy at our house Halloween night if he can part from his video games long enough.

I turn to the group. “This is part of our Halloween decorations. We’re having a Superhero party and you’re all invited.” I assume none of them will come but a little goodwill goes a long way.

“How cute,” Mrs. Rogerson says.

“I hope you don’t mind that Nathan got the decorations up a little early.”

“Not at all,” says Brian.

Mr. UCLA walks away with a resigned mutter.

The crowd breaks up. I let out a sigh.
Crisis averted.
Now let me go find my man.

“Nathan,” I call out after setting the grocery bags on the kitchen counters.

I hear his muffled voice from the garage. “In here.”

I find him sponging paint on crumpled oversized pieces of paper.

“Do I dare ask what you’re doing?”

He pushes his glasses up his nose carefully so he doesn’t get paint on his face. “I’m creating the stone texture so the cave looks more realistic.”

I give him a puzzled look. “The cave? Oh, you mean the Batcave?”

He gives me a bewildered look back.

“Of course the Batcave, Brooke. What other cave would it be?”

“Sorry. I guess I was distracted by the pow-wow of neighbors I found in front of our house when I got home.”

“What were they doing?”

“Looking at the addition to our house.”

He grins widely. “Did they love it?”

My heart melts for the young boy in my grown man who assumes everyone would love having Metropolis on top of their house.

“They were very impressed.”

“I bet! Just wait until they see the Batcave!”

A thought suddenly occurs to me. “Hey you know that package that arrived from that expensive collector doll company? What character was that you bought?”

He turns back and starts sponging the section of construction paper in front of him and mumbles something under his breath.

I put my hands on my hips. “What was that?”

“Superman,” he says quietly.

“And is
that
Superman now dangling off our roof?”

He huffs and looks up at me with a determined expression. “He’s not dangling! He’s flying!”

I roll my eyes. “How silly of me. Of course he’s flying. We have a two-hundred dollar collectible Superman flying around our roof. Why couldn’t you have used a twenty dollar one? Remember the Superman dolls we saw at Target not long ago?”

He gives me a horrified look like I slapped him in the face. “Are you serious? Brooke, that was the Henry Cavill Superman in that bogus grey blue uniform. I could
never
have him with our perfectly adapted Metropolis! It had to be an authentic Silver Age Superman and that was the best one I could find.”

“Oh geez, Nathan.”

“What?”

“I guess this is what I get for falling in love with a purist.”

He steps up to me and takes my hand. “But sweetheart, would you really want it any other way?”

I smile at him. “No. I guess not.”

“Okay then. Now that we’ve got that settled let me show you the best part.” He grabs a remote control off the garage counter and pulls me outside to the street just past our yard.

He’s clutching the remote tightly as he waits for me to look up. “Ready?”

“I sure am.”

“It’s going to be hard to tell the effect during the day but I assure you it will be amazing at night. Here we go!” He clicks a button and I notice that the world globe on top of the structure has taken on a glow and slowly turns. Meanwhile the wire holding Superman starts to move the opposite direction. “Look Brooke!”

I gasp and turn toward Nathan. “He’s flying! I seriously can’t believe you!”

“How clever I am?” he asks with a sheepish grin.

“Yes, how clever and how awesomely amazing!”

He pulls me into his arms and we watch Superman circle Metropolis a number of times before finally shutting him off. “I better get back to my painting.”

As we walk back into the house I ask about lunch. “What kind of sandwich would you like?”

He shrugs. “Whatever you’re having. By the way, how are the food and drink plans coming for the party?”

“Did you know that Billie used to be a bartender? She’s agreed to come up with the themed drinks for us. And I had another cute idea for food.”

“Better than the Catwoman catnip salad? Or the Clark Kent Oreo cookies where you take the top cookie off and the frosting inside has the Superman shield?”

“Well, I was thinking of pizza ideas, and you know that Batman villain Two-Face?”

“Sure.”

“We’re going to have Two-Face pizzas…one half of the pizza is perfectly smooth with cheese and the other is a mess of ingredients.”

“Just like Two-Face! Brilliant!” Nathan beams.

“I’m working on dip ideas next.”

He nods and lets out a satisfied sigh. “This is going to be the best Halloween party ever.”

It seems like
there are endless details for this party, and not all of them are fun ones. Nathan arches his brow when I dump a collection of shopping bags on the couch. “What’s all that?”

“It’s part of my costume for the party. The most important part really.”

He tips his head to the side. “But you already have the costume.”

I scowl and plop down on the sofa next to the bags.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well you know all those Zumba classes I missed because of all my production and merchandising meetings? And failed diet attempts the last few weeks?” I look down at the floor and shake my head.

“But Brooke, you’ve been so busy…”

I throw my hands up in exasperation. “I know! But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t fit into my costume.”

His expression falls and he rubs his chin with his hand. “Oh I see. So is it another costume in those bags?”

“No. It’s reinforcement. It’s the latest state-of-the-art undergarments designed to tighten up everything so I look sleek as a seal.”

Nathan’s face scrunches up. “That sounds uncomfortable.”

I nod. “You have no idea.”

“I’ve always wondered, when everything gets tightened up…exactly where does it go?”

Leave it to my creative boyfriend to wonder such things. “I don’t know handsome, it goes inward I guess.”

“That can’t be. I mean what about your internal organs. It has to go somewhere else.”

I reach into the bag and pull out the package and point to the illustration on the front. “See with this one it sucks in everything below my waist and my thighs.”

“But what if when you put it on the stuff squeezes out and gives you massive calves?”

Is he serious? I give him a bug-eyed look. “Well then I can go to the party dressed as the Hulk. Or I can resort to the most extreme.”

His wide eyes actually look full of fear. “And that would be?”

I fish around in the bag and pull out the largest package. “The full body suit.”

“Head to toe?” he asks with a gasp.

“Yes. Even my toes will look thinner.”

“Surely this isn’t necessary,” he insists as he steps away from the package. “Are you sure your costume doesn’t fit?”

“Abundantly. But at least I’ll look presentable for your party…our party.” I quickly correct myself.

He reaches out for me with an empathetic look. “Oh baby, don’t do this to yourself. We’ll figure something else out.”

I’m so disappointed in myself and I throw my hands over my eyes and start to cry. He pushes the packages on the floor and sits down and pulls me into his arms.

“Don’t cry, Brooke. Please don’t cry.”

I sniffle into his shoulder.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m having costume issues too.”

I lift my head up and face him. “You are? You don’t like your Superman costume? It was the nicest one I could find.”

He shakes his head. “No it’s not that.”

I watch the blush move across his cheeks. “It’s just too…revealing.”

I blush too knowing how well-endowed Nathan is. “Oh…that.”

He nods somberly. “I’m pretty sure I’d never hear the end of it from the guys.”

“But doesn’t that make you look even more like a Superhero?” I grin widely.

He kisses the top of my head and sighs. “To you it does.”

I pull away from him and gently nudge him forward. “I want to see. Can you try it on for me?”

“Oh God. Now?” he asks with a horrified look.

“Yes, I insist.”

He lifts off the couch slowly like he’s still trying to figure out how to get out of it. I push him on the ass. “Go on now. I’m waiting.”

I’ve scrolled through my entire Facebook feed before I realize how long this is taking. “Nathan?” I call out.

“Coming.” His voice is very tentative.

When he steps into the living room I frown. “No fair!”

He shrugs. “It’s authentic.” He looks down and unbuttons his white dress shirt one more notch and pulls it open further to expose the Superman S shield on his chest.

I fold my arms over my chest. “You’re not wearing a Clark Kent suit over your uniform, Nathan!”

He gives me a guilty look. “I know—it’s cheating.”

“Is that fair to your guests? If Andy is brave enough to wear spandex tights among his peers you have to be brave too.”

“But I’m pretty sure Andy doesn’t have a package like I do.”

“I’d rather not think about that.” I wave him over. “Here, I want to see.”

With resignation he steps forward and holds his arms up, letting out a sigh. “If you must.”

I start by pushing the jacket off his shoulders and pulling it off. The shirt comes next. But when I trace my fingers along his waistband and start to unzip the fly, I look up at him and see fire in his eyes. I slowly pull his slacks down.

“Oh my,” I whisper before biting my lip. I look up at him with desire in my eyes too.