Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (88 page)

“That’s a little judgmental, don’t you think? I was at the liquor store too, and I don’t have a drinking problem or a drug problem.”

“That’s not the point. You can’t just keep accepting dates from all of these random guys.”

“Why?” I stared hard at him. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is that I care about you and I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Can you please just listen to my advice?”

I felt warmed by his concern, but at the same time I was frustrated. I had to point out the double standard.

“So let me get this straight. You can sleep with whoever you want, but I have to do a background check on all of my dates? You can meet a woman and take her home with you, but what? You want veto rights on who I date?” I raised an eyebrow.

Max’s jaw clenched. I rarely saw him get angry, but when I did, I recognized it. I realized my teasing might have gone a little too far.

“Listen, you have no idea what goes on in my bed.” He lowered his voice when a few other patrons looked in his direction. He took a deep breath and appeared calmer. “I haven’t even had a girlfriend in months, okay? All I’m trying to do is protect you, and you’re treating me like I’m some kind of man-whore. I hate that you think of me that way. I hate it.” He shook his head and looked away from me.

I was more than a little shocked. Not only had I not known that he wasn’t dating, I had no idea that it bothered him so much when I made comments about him sleeping around. It sunk in that if I’d made those same comments about a female friend, it would have been insulting. I hadn’t even thought about that with Max.

“I’m sorry, Max.” I reached out and took his hand in mine. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“It’s alright. I’m just riled up. I’m worried about you.” He held my hand and stared across the table. “You’re too special to risk your heart with just anyone.”

Those words made my heart melt into a drippy little puddle. I was flooded with gratitude for having such an amazing man as my best friend. Maybe he would never be my lover, but he loved me better than any other man ever could.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“Then think about what you’re doing, Sammy. That’s all I’m asking. Safety first.”

“Max, you know I love you, right?” I searched his eyes. “I respect your opinion. But I’ve been far too cautious for far too long. I want to be in love. Maybe that’s hard for you to understand, but it’s what I want.”

He gave my hand a little squeeze. “I understand it more than you know. But you can’t force love with just anyone. It has to be the right person, don’t you think?”

“I guess so.” I nodded.

As we finished our meal the conversation was a little awkward. I felt guilty for speaking about his dating life the way I had, and he seemed embarrassed that he’d lost his cool.

“Let me walk you out.”

He paid for the meal and then led me out to the parking lot. His hand holding mine felt so natural that it caused a deep ache inside of me. It was difficult for me to think that the man who knew me best—who inspired such a desire in me—would never be more than my friend. It just didn’t seem fair.

“I’m sorry if I upset you.” He leaned back against the side of my car, still holding my hand. “I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s okay.” I met his eyes. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have been teasing you like that.”

“And I shouldn’t have been trying to tell you what to do with your life. It’s yours to live, right?” He drew my hand to his lips for a subtle kiss. Then he released it. “I guess I just don’t want to see you deal with heartache.”

I smiled at him. If only he knew how many years of heartache I’d dealt with over him. It wasn’t his fault, of course. As he’d said, no one could force love.

“Max, I trust you, and I always appreciate your advice. You have to trust me—that I’m being careful.”

“Alright.” He nodded. He hugged me tightly. “Just remember, if you run into any trouble at all, call me. Okay?”

I looked up at him in the same moment that he looked down at me. Our lips were accidentally close. The spark that coursed through me was enough to take out the power of a city block. I made a strange gulp-gasp and ducked away from him.

“Yes, of course.” I fumbled with my keys to unlock my door.

“Here.” He took the keys from my hand and unlocked the door for me. “Let me know how it goes tonight, okay?” He held the door open for me.

“Thanks. Okay, I will.” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

When he closed the door behind me I felt some relief. If I’d stood next to him a moment longer I might have tried to kiss him. I might have ruined everything we had between us. I sighed as I started the car. At least I had the date with Shawn to look forward to—and to distract me from any more crazy thoughts of Max.

Chapter 7

The Fox’s Hole was a club, not a bar. It was loud and filled with smoke from a fog machine. Even as a teenager I hadn’t enjoyed places as loud and obnoxious as this place, but I tried to keep an open mind.

I wasn’t exactly wearing the right clothes for the place, as I had decided on a long floral skirt and button-down blouse. I felt like the oldest person in the club, although I knew that wasn’t the case.

I spotted Shawn leaning on the bar. For a split second I considered turning around and leaving. Something just didn’t feel right. But I thought about how it felt when Blue stood me up. I didn’t want to make anyone else feel that way.

After taking a deep breath, I walked over to him.

“Hi, Shawn.” I smiled at him.

“Hey there. You look amazing.” He smiled back.

I noticed that his breath was already laced with the scent of alcohol.

“Thanks. You look nice too.” He looked quite a bit different than he had in the liquor store.

He wore a black leather jacket and tight blue jeans.

“Can I get you a drink?” He ordered before I could answer.

I willed myself to relax. My mind kept drifting back to breakfast with Max and the ache I’d felt to kiss him. That was the kind of passion I wanted to feel with the man of my dreams. Again I wondered if the candle I still held for Max—or even for Blue—was preventing me from getting to know other men.

Shawn was interesting and certainly fun. He tugged me out onto the dance floor right away. He was an energetic dancer, and he inspired me to get into the beat as well. Soon we’d both worked up quite a sweat. I laughed as he led me off the dance floor. I hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. He ordered us both another drink.

“I think I might have had enough.” I felt a little dizzy.

“Just one more.” He pushed the drink toward me. “I already paid for it.”

I nodded and took the drink. I intended to just sip it so I could keep my wits about me, but it was delicious. Within just a few swallows it was gone.

“Let’s dance some more.”

He tugged me back onto the dance floor with him. His hands roamed my body as we moved together. I didn’t really notice that he was getting a little too handsy until he tried sliding one hand up the back of my blouse. We were in the middle of the dance floor!

“Oops, how about here?” I grabbed his hand and placed it back on my hip.

“Sorry.” He grinned at me. “You’re just so soft and sexy.”

“I think you’ve had a little too much.” I smiled at him and created some distance between us.

“Not enough.” He pulled me back close. I felt his hands roaming once more.

I didn’t mind a little passion, but I did have a very big problem with any man who couldn’t respect my wishes.

“Okay, that’s enough.” I stepped away from him.

“What’s wrong?” He frowned. “I thought you were up for some fun.”

“This isn’t fun for me.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, that’s just not my speed.”

“Oh.” He nodded. “Well, sweetie, I’m not into wining and dining anyone. Too bad.”

“I guess so.”

As I walked off the dance floor, he headed back in the direction of the bar. I was a little too tipsy to even consider walking home. I texted Max to see if he could pick me up.

My date’s a dud. Can I get a ride?

Be there in five.

As I stood outside waiting for Max, I was more than a little embarrassed. Exactly what he’d predicted had come true. I was sure that Shawn was someone’s true love, but he definitely wasn’t mine.

I wasn’t sure if my idea of dating around was such a good idea after all. I still had my upcoming date with Greg, but I felt rather guilty for even going. Was it leading him on if I didn’t have that spark with him?

Immediately my mind shifted to the moment I’d experienced with Max earlier in the day. I closed my eyes and savored the memory of how close his lips had been to mine.

What I really needed was a way to detox my system. I needed to get both Max and Blue out of my bloodstream. They seemed to be there every time I thought about the future. It would be bad enough with only one, but with two it was even harder to shake off the desire.

Just as I was promising myself I would try harder, I sensed someone right in front of me. I opened my eyes to see Max. I expected him to chastise, to tell me that he’d told me so, but he did neither of those things. Instead, he reached out and straightened my blouse. I hadn’t even realized that it was out of place.

“You okay?”

“I will be.” I smiled at him. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for calling.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Want me to go beat him up?”

“Ha.” I looked Max up and down. “He’s at least twice your size.”

“Oh, but he messed with you. He’d have no idea what wrath he’d be facing.”

“How about a ride home instead? I might have had a few too many.”

“Hm.” He furrowed an eyebrow. “I’ll save that lecture for tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

He steered me toward his car.

Chapter 8

With Max’s arm around me, I felt so secure. I felt as if nothing in the world could hurt me. Again that sensation rushed through me. Was it even possible that I could feel for someone else what I felt for Max?

“Don’t let it get to you, Sammy. Some guys are jerks.”

“I don’t really think he’s a jerk. Just not for me.”

“See, that’s the problem. You’re too nice.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being nice.”

He looked over at me in the flicker of the streetlights. “Yes, there is, when it comes to dating. You need to be picky. There are men out there who are all about a good time and nothing more.”

I decided not to mention that he was once one of those men.

“Well, maybe that’s what I need to learn to want, then.” I sighed. “Maybe my views are just too old-fashioned.”

“No.” Max braked for a red light. He reached his hand over and took mine. “No, they’re not. I used to think that it was impossible to fall in love. I used to think that it was all just some idea drummed up by florists and jewelry stores. Now I know better.”

I looked over at him as concern welled up within me. “Max, did someone break your heart?” Had I been so focused on my bucket list, my weight loss, and my writing, that I missed a huge event in Max’s life?

He stared at me for a long moment. “I’m not sure yet.”

“What do you mean?”

The light turned green; its glow spilled into the car. “It just means, you should be more picky, Sammy. You deserve a happy ending.”

As he drove toward my apartment I fell into silence. I kept thinking back over the past few months. Who was it that had changed Max’s view on love? Could it have been Anisa?

When he pulled into the parking lot I glanced over at him.

“Are you okay, Max? I feel like I’m missing something. What aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s nothing.” He offered a half-smile. “I’m just adjusting to my old age.”

“Please. You’re not old.”

I rolled my eyes and tried to get out of the car. The thing about being a little tipsy and trying to get out of a car is that it never does go well. As I stepped down on the heel of my shoe it snapped, and my head smacked the top of the car door.

“Sammy!” Max ran around the side of the car when he heard my grunt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I rubbed my head. “My shoe is not. My pride is not. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this falling in love thing.”

He slid his arm around my waist and helped me limp toward my door. “Maybe you need to relax and just let it happen?”

“Maybe.”

“Be patient. Love will find a way.”

“Isn’t that a song?” I started to hum and then sing random lyrics.

“Oh, yeah, I’d say you’ve had a few too many.” Max laughed.

“What? You don’t like my singing?” I giggled and started singing louder.

“I think we need to get you inside.” Max grinned at me.

“Come in. At least let me get you a drink or something to eat.”

Max stepped in behind me. “I need to get going, but I want to make sure you have everything you need.”

“Max, I’m tipsy, not drunk.” I dropped my keys in the basket on the counter and walked over to the fridge to get him a drink.

“Nice flowers.”

I turned to see Max looking at the flowers that Blue had sent me. My heart skipped a beat as I wondered if he would try to read the card.

“Oh yes, they’re from a friend.”

“A date?” Max smiled at me. “Now that’s the way you should be treated.”

“No, not a date exactly.” I cleared my throat. “Just somebody I barely know.”

Max stared at me for a moment and then nodded. “Well, it was a nice thought to send flowers then.”

“Very nice.” I handed him a bottle of water. “I really appreciate you coming to pick me up tonight. I promise I’ll be more careful about who I agree to date next time.”

“Hey, it’s hard to tell who someone is just by looking at them. I just want you to be safe.”

“Thanks, Max.”

He nodded and opened the water. His eyes shifted back to the flowers. “A mysterious admirer. That could lead to something, hm?”

“Maybe.” I sighed. “I don’t even know any more, Max. One minute I feel like I’m making progress, and then the next, everything goes cold. How can I really tell if a guy cares about me or is just stringing me along?”

Max capped his water and met my eyes. “Well, for starters, men don’t spend money on flowers unless they mean something. The important thing isn’t what they do for you, Sammy, but how they treat you. How does he make you feel?”