Although it was unusual for a slave to be so honored, all the family members, and some of the slaves, were taken to the ceremony, leaving home in the dark. Paulinus insisted on giving a eulogy as the sun rose, and then lighting the funeral pyre himself. Skaia stood with Thaddeus and watched as Castor and Gotus assisted him.
When the fire was burning steadily, Thaddeus went to his father and led him to the covered wagon, so they could begin the journey home. Skaia listened as Thaddeus assured his father that he would return that night to gather the ashes. Paulinus sat quietly, though his tears continued to fall, all the way back to the city. Skaia knelt beside him and held his arm, offering what comfort he could.
After a light lunch, everyone went to bed. Even Thaddeus, who almost never slept during the day, went to sleep for several hours. When he woke, he roused Skaia as well, and together they both rode horses back to the funeral site. The fire was out, though there were still some glowing embers. Thaddeus himself raked through the ashes, until he had collected a full bag to take back to Paulinus. Afterwards, he paid the owner of the crematorium an additional fee, to collect and bury any remains left behind.
Skaia was given the bag of ashes to hold, and he held it tightly to his chest, as they returned to the city.
At Paulinus’ insistence, dinner was held until Thaddeus returned, even though it was well after dark. The meal was served as usual in the dining room. Thera stood solemnly behind her mistress, while Kaleel, who could hardly be described as solemn, stood quietly next to Crassus’ couch, only shuffling his feet occasionally. Although Crassus was still too young to eat at the same table as the adults, he and his young slave had been invited to be with the rest of the family.
Gotus leaned close to Skaia at the serving table and whispered, “Who’s the new child?”
“
Kaleel,” Skaia answered as he picked up plates to distribute. “Thaddeus gave him to Crassus while we were in Umbria.”
“
How old…” Gotus started.
But Skaia shook his head. “Not now, Gotus.” Gotus nodded, and they served the meal in silence.
In spite of the children’s efforts to be jovial, the occasion was very grim. When Skaia dropped a platter, all eyes went to him, and he fully expected to be punished. But Thaddeus only raised a brow before sending him off for cleaning supplies. The children left as soon as they had finished eating, and Thaddeus moved closer to his father.
Skaia and Gotus began the clean-up. As they took the remaining food back to the kitchen, Skaia answered the questions Gotus asked. And then he asked one of his own. “Is everyone upstairs now?”
Gotus was obviously excited, and hesitant to show it under the circumstances. “Castor kept his room off the kitchen, but the rest of us are upstairs. Did you know we actually have a privy? No more chamber pots.”
Skaia nodded. “Are you still getting weekly baths?”
“
Yes,” Gotus confirmed. “Castor said it wouldn’t stop just because you’re back. And there’s always hot water in the washroom. Did… did Thaddeus really whip you because we talked that day you left?”
Skaia wished for a moment he could lie, but others would surely tell. “It was not so bad, Gotus. And we got along very well while we were away.”
“
I thought so,” Gotus smiled, “since he had you go with him this afternoon.”
Thaddeus and Paulinus were still in the dining room, though Thaddeus had moved to sit on his father’s couch. Skaia looked at them, and Thaddeus immediately motioned him closer. Gotus quietly refilled their wine cups and then left.
Holding his father’s hand, Thaddeus stroked it gently. “Father, what can I do for you?”
Paulinus looked up and his eyes were dry. “You brought the ashes. There is nothing else. It is the end of an era.” He shook his head slowly. “It’s strange, Thaddeus. I was so sure Lucius would outlive me. There are even instructions in my will to free him.” Tears filled Paulinus’ eyes and he could not speak for a moment. “I should have done it before. I know I should have… but I was always afraid he would leave me. All his life, he wanted to be free, and I kept him bound.”
Skaia hesitated to interrupt, but finally he spoke. “Master Paulinus, it would have made no difference to him. He would never have left you, sir. Lucius… he told me to tell you…” Skaia had to stop to control his own tears. “I’m sorry, sir. He wanted me to let you know he loved you, and that his life with you was happy.”
Thaddeus turned to take Skaia’s hand, and drew him to the couch. “Father, Lucius never talked to me, but I knew the same thing. He would not have changed his life.” Thaddeus forced a grin. “If you had freed him, he would have been in a terrible situation, thinking he was supposed to leave you, and not wanting to go.”
Paulinus laughed lightly. “You’re probably right. He would never have admitted it to me. But… but I wish I’d freed him anyway.”
“
Father, you should go to bed now. Do you want Skaia to stay with you?”
“
No, no. Castor will send Gotus to me.” He glanced at Skaia, and back to Thaddeus. “You take this youngster with you.”
“
We’ll walk with you to your room,” Thaddeus insisted. “And wait until Gotus arrives.”
They paused in the peristylium. There were torches lit in the garden, illuminating the new pool and shrubs. Paulinus reached out, and touched one of the tall slender plants. “Lucius chose these. They will be his memorial.” He turned to face Skaia. “You had best take very good care of them, young man.”
Skaia smiled, though he fought back tears and his lips trembled. “I will, Master.” Paulinus nodded, and turned toward his rooms, with Thaddeus still supporting his arm.
When Gotus came, Thaddeus took his leave. “Call me for anything you need, Father. Absolutely anything.”
When they were back in his chamber, Thaddeus collapsed on the bed and held his head. Skaia stood back and watched, until Thaddeus’ body began to shake. Then he reached out, and nervously touched his arm. “Master…”
Thaddeus took hold of the boy’s wrist and pulled him down roughly, hurting him. His eyes seemed to bore into Skaia. “Do you see now, what you could do to my son?”
“
To Glaucus? What? I don’t understand.”
“
If he loves you, you could hurt him like this. Like my father is hurting now.”
Skaia tried to pry Thaddeus’ bruising fingers off his wrist, but he couldn’t, the man was much too strong, and he held too tightly. Lowering his head, so that Thaddeus wouldn’t see his tears of pain, Skaia asked, “Like you are hurting, Master, because your father hurts? Would it be better if you did not love him?”
Thaddeus loosened his grip slightly. “No, of course not.” He lay back, but still did not release Skaia’s wrist. A few moments later, after Skaia tried to get up, he tightened his hold once again. “Don’t leave me tonight. Please. I won’t hurt you. Just… please don’t leave.”
Skaia was startled by Thaddeus’ words, and quietly lay down beside him, and when Thaddeus started to cry, Skaia held him, his arms enfolding the bigger man as he wept. Once he was composed, Thaddeus pushed himself up, and sent Skaia to fetch a cup of wine.
By the time the boy returned, Thaddeus had moved to his chair, and after placing the wine on the table, Skaia knelt before him. Thaddeus reached down, and gently played with his hair, his fingers absent-mindedly twirling around the curls. “I thought Lucius would outlive father, too. I don’t know that he can survive much longer without him.” Skaia said nothing, only looked up at Thaddeus’ face. “Castor is getting old as well. Maybe, he should be training his replacement.”
A replacement for Castor?
“Who would that be?” Skaia asked, before quickly adding, “Sir.”
Thaddeus smiled at the small slip. Skaia reminded him more and more of Thane. “Do you think there is anyone in the household who could take over Castor’s duties?”
Skaia thought Gotus was probably the most senior. And he often assisted Castor. But he was hardly a commanding presence. And probably would not want such responsibility. “I don’t know, Master,” he admitted.
“
No, nor do I. I think I may need to go to the markets again,” Thaddeus began to think out loud. “I need another young woman, too. Meera is getting old. And possibly a boy.” He looked at Skaia. “Do you want to come and help me choose?”
“
No, Master. Please. I don’t like the slave markets.”
Thaddeus smiled, still running his fingers through Skaia’s hair. “I remember. And it’s fine—you don’t have to.” He took a large drink of his wine before speaking again. “Is Gotus suitable for my father, do you think?”
Of course,
Skaia thought.
And he would love being so honored.
Still… “Shouldn’t that be up to your father, sir?”
“
Not completely,” Thaddeus said, shaking his head. “Given the choice, he might take you.”
Skaia hesitated. He didn’t want to leave Thaddeus, but if Paulinus needed him… “I like your father, sir. I would serve him well.”
“
I’m sure you would. But,
I
will not give you up.”
Skaia was pleased to hear it, more than pleased, but then he thought of Glaucus. “When Master Glaucus gets home… when he gets back, will you let him have me?” he asked softly. “I mean… if he still wants me.”
Thaddeus hesitated. Glaucus remained a forbidden subject to Skaia. But he had thought of the possibilities way too often himself to punish Skaia for the same question. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Glaucus will not be back for several more months. Do you… do you continue to love him so much?”
Skaia shook his head. “I’m still not sure what love is, sir.” Except he thought love was what he felt for Paulinus. Maybe even for Thaddeus now. “I… I thought Glaucus was my friend, sir. As well as my master, I mean,” he added quickly. “We grew up together.”
I would grieve for him if he died.
“
My son may have changed, Skaia. I suspect he has. I hope he has. He may not want you when he comes back.”
“
Yes, sir. I know.” But somehow, to hear Thaddeus’ confirmation upset Skaia even more, and his eyes filled with tears again.
Too many things to cry over today…
He laid his head on Thaddeus’ thigh, and felt the tears fall over his face as his master’s fingers continued to gently stroke his hair.
XV
Glaucus crumpled yet another piece of the precious parchment. At this rate, he was going to need to buy more before he could manage a simple letter home. The trip to Athens had been long and exhausting, and the tours would not even begin until two days hence. Pharsalus and Mount Olympias had been the most interesting destinations so far, but, in truth, Glaucus was beginning to weary of history. Most assuredly of traveling. But he owed his family a letter.
Pulling out another sheet of parchment, he determined to make no more mistakes.
Skaia would have enjoyed much of what we’ve seen, even more than I have, Father,
he wrote.
I suspect, when I get home, he will be able to fill in the many gaps in my knowledge.
He went on to speak of the bandits who had tried to rob them, telling of how the guards had handled the thieves in the end, but saying that it had been frightening for a while. Glaucus hesitated to write of his own participation. His father had warned him against trying to defend himself, but the guards had been lax. It was they who had joined
him
to put an end to the threat. Not the other way round. A story best told in person, perhaps…
Writing of some of the purchases he had made that had already been sent back, Glaucus thought that they would be home well before he was.
Probably even before this letter.
There was pottery for his grandfather, some small sculptures for his father… and a scroll for Skaia, containing some of the early works of Socrates.