Skinny Bitch in the Kitch (15 page)

In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a large bowl with a hand mixer, cream the coconut oil, mixing on medium-high speed for about 3 minutes. Add 8 tablespoons of the milk or creamer, the vanilla, and salt, mixing until well combined. With the mixer on low speed, add the sugar, about ½ cup at a time. If the frosting seems too stiff, add 1 to 2 tablespoons more milk. Increase the speed to high and beat until smooth and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes.

14 tablespoons refined coconut oil
2 cups evaporated cane sugar
1½ cups unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup soy creamer
½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
¼ teaspoon fine sea salt

In a 2- to 3-quart saucepan over medium heat, melt the oil. Stir in sugar and cocoa powder. Gradually stir in creamer. Heat, stirring almost constantly, until mixture is smooth and hot, but not boiling. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla and salt. Set aside to cool to room temperature, until thick enough to spread.

1 cup safflower oil,
plus more for the pans
3 cups whole wheat pastry flour,
plus more for the pans
2 cups evaporated cane sugar
(or other dry sweetener)
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon refined sea salt
2 cups finely shredded carrots
(about 2 carrots)
2 cups unsweetened applesauce
2 teaspoons vanilla
1½ cups chopped walnuts
4 cups Vegan Cream Cheese
Frosting (recipe follows)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Oil two 9-inch cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment. Oil the parchment and dust the pans lightly with flour.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt; set aside.

In another large bowl, combine the oil, carrots, applesauce, and vanilla, stirring until smooth. Stir in the flour mixture in 3 or 4 additions, mixing until barely combined. Add walnuts, stirring until just combined.

Transfer the batter to the prepared pans and smooth the surfaces. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until the cakes spring back when lightly touched in the center and begin to pull away from the sides of the pan. Cool on racks for 10 minutes. Unmold the cakes and return to racks to cool thoroughly.

Spread each cake with about ¼ of the Vegan Cream Cheese Frosting. Stack the cakes, then use the remaining frosting to coat the sides of the cake.

12 ounces vegan cream cheese
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
¼ teaspoon salt
8 cups (about 2 pounds) powdered
evaporated cane sugar (or other
dry sweetener)

In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a large bowl with a hand mixer, combine the cream cheese, vanilla, and salt, mixing on medium speed until smooth. With the mixer on low speed, add the sugar, about ½ cup at a time. Increase the speed to high and beat until light and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes.

¾ cup safflower oil, plus more
for the pan
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1½ cups evaporated cane sugar
1 tablespoon cream of tartar
2 teaspoons baking soda
½ teaspoon fine sea salt
¾ cup vegan chocolate chips
1¼ cups soy milk
¾ cup unsweetened applesauce
½ tablespoon pure vanilla extract
4 ounces unsweetened vegan
chocolate, chopped
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2 cups Fudgy Chocolate Frosting
(see page 171) (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Oil a 13 x 9-inch baking pan; set aside.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt. Stir in the chocolate chips; set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine the oil, soy milk, applesauce, and vanilla, stirring until smooth; set aside.

In the top of a double boiler or in a medium metal bowl set over a pot of gently simmering water, melt the chocolate, stirring just until smooth.

Add the oil mixture into the flour mixture, stirring until smooth. Add the melted chocolate, stirring until smooth. Stir in the vinegar.

Transfer the batter to the prepared pan and smooth the surface. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, until the cake springs back when lightly touched in the center and begins to pull away from the sides of the pan. Thoroughly cool on a cooling rack before frosting with Fudgy Chocolate Frosting.

1½ cups vegan cookie crumbs
(see note on page 168)
¼ cup refined coconut oil, melted
⅔ cups raw (turbinado) evaporated
cane sugar, divided
⅔ cup peanut butter
2 tablespoons water
¼ cup vegan butter
¾ cup vegan chocolate chips
1 cup chopped walnuts
½ cup unsweetened shredded
coconut
1 (13.5-ounce can) coconut milk
2 tablespoons agave nectar
1 tablespoon arrowroot or 3½
teaspoons cornstarch dissolved
into ½ tablespoon water

Preheat oven to 350°F.

In a medium bowl, combine the cookie crumbs, coconut oil, and ⅓ cup of the sugar, stirring until the mixture is uniformly moist. Transfer to a 13 x 9-inch baking pan and press the mixture evenly into the bottom.

Heat the peanut butter in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until soft enough to pour. Drizzle the peanut butter over the cookie crumb mixture (don’t worry about spreading it—just drizzle it evenly around).

In a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat, combine the remaining ⅓ cup of sugar and the water, stirring occasionally until the sugar is melted. Reduce the heat to low and continue to cook, swirling (not stirring) occasionally, until the mixture is a dark honey color. Remove the saucepan from the heat and swirl in the butter. Presto—you’ve got butterscotch sauce! Pour the butterscotch sauce
evenly over the peanut butter. Top with chocolate chips, walnuts, and coconut, sprinkling each evenly.

In a small bowl, whisk together the coconut milk, agave, and arrowroot mixture. Pour the coconut milk mixture evenly over the toppings and bake for 30 minutes, until the coconut milk is set and the edges are browned. Thoroughly cool on a cooling rack before cutting into squares. For best results, set aside at room temperature overnight or in the refrigerator for 1 or 2 hours before serving.

2 cups soy creamer (or 1
13.5-ounce can coconut
milk plus ⅓ cup water)
1 cup water
1 cup medium-grain brown rice
Pinch fine sea salt
⅔ cup raisins, golden raisins,
or a combination (optional)
2 tablespoons agave nectar
½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

In a 2-quart saucepan over high heat, combine 1 cup of the creamer or coconut milk mixture, the water, rice, and salt. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and cook until the water is absorbed and the rice is almost tender, about 40 minutes.

Stir in the remaining 1 cup of creamer or coconut milk mixture, the raisins (if using), agave, vanilla, and cinnamon. Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the raisins are plump and the rice is tender, about 5 minutes.

Spoon the pudding into bowls and let cool. Serve at room temperature or cover and refrigerate for about an hour before serving chilled.

If the pudding seems too thick, which can be the case if it’s served cold, you can stir in a little soy milk or creamer.

½ cup refined coconut oil,
plus more for the pan
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons Sucanat,
(or other dry sweetener)
½ cup plus 1 tablespoon whole
wheat pastry flour
½ cup rolled oats
¾ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
8 cups cored or pitted fresh fruit,
one type or a combination,
thinly sliced
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 pint vegan vanilla ice cream
(optional)

Preheat oven to 375°F. Oil an 8 x 8-inch baking pan.

In a medium bowl, combine 1 cup of the Sucanat, ½ cup of the flour, the oats, and ½ teaspoon of the salt. Using a pastry cutter or your fingertips, cut in the oil, mixing until the biggest pieces are the size of peas; set aside.

In a large bowl, combine the remaining 2 tablespoons of Sucanat, 1 tablespoon of flour, ¼ teaspoon of salt, and the cinnamon. Mix in the fruit, lemon juice, and vanilla.

Transfer the fruit to the prepared baking dish, spreading it evenly. Sprinkle on the topping. Bake for 30 minutes. If the fruit isn’t yet tender (baking time will depend on the type of fruit), cover lightly with foil and bake for an additional 20 or 30 minutes.

Serve warm or at room temperature, topped with vegan vanilla ice cream, if using.

Food is the fuel that keeps us going. It supplies our bodies with energy and sustenance and literally makes life possible. But it’s also so much more than that. It’s the gateway to paradise. A gift from the heavens. Life’s greatest pleasure. Every time we eat, we have the capacity to experience unparalleled ecstasy. Multiple times a day. So why do people forget to eat? Or eat standing up? Or grab something quick? Hell, it beats the shit out of us. We never do that stuff—we friggin’ love eating more than anything else in the world. And we bask in the glory of every bite we take.

Eating is like a religious experience. And every meal is like an offering to your temple. So like you would for any place of worship, have reverence for your body. You shouldn’t put garbage in your mouth any sooner than you’d go to church wearing crotchless panties. Now granted, sometimes you wear less than your Sunday best to church, and that’s fine—God loves you, anyway. And sometimes you eat less than your best, and that’s okay, too. But you wouldn’t make a habit of dressing like crap for church and you shouldn’t make a habit of eating crap, either.

We each get one body to last us an entire lifetime. And more than any other factor, food affects how well and for how long this body will serve us. So if you didn’t care before, start caring now. Take the time to learn which foods are healthy and which aren’t. And take the time to start enjoying everything you eat. Doing “it” standing up and “quickies” are for sex, not eating. So slow down, pick out a recipe, and sit down to a nice meal tonight. After dinner, you can have a quickie.

We know that for many of you,
this is a whole new way of eating. So we salute your willingness to take it on—change is definitely hard. But it doesn’t have to be scary. The more you know, the less intimidated you’ll be. Knowledge is power.